Chapter 13
Kristy curled up on one end of the couch, wineglass in hand, while her mother sat on the other end. Her aunt Betty and Ariel had gone out to for the apartment after Sylvia and Ariel had discussed decorating ideas, so it was just Kristy and her mom. All the better, because Kristy was dying to discuss her mother’s tête-à-tête with Jewel.
Kristy had thrown on a pair of gray sweats, her go-to at-home-and-doing-nothing choice of apparel. And surprisingly, her mother had followed suit, donning a black pair. Kristy didn’t know her mother even owned a pair of sweatpants. Of course, her mother’s had some bling added to it at the hem.
“Sooo, what did you guys talk about? Inquiring minds want to know.” Kristy took a sip of wine.
Her mother’s perfectly shaped right eyebrow arched. “Our mutual sorority friends for one. We only overlapped a semester before she left to get married but she’d been there two years already, so we knew some of the same gals and I’ve kept in touch with a few.”
“What was she like in college?” If Kristy was dating Jewel’s son, it would be good to better understand the mother.
“Bright. She tutored me in statistics, I remember. I got a B, I think, but without her help, I would have gotten a D for sure. Thank goodness I get my clients from word of mouth and don’t have to do market research. But that’s why everyone was so surprised, shocked really, when she didn’t return. We all thought she had gotten pregnant, but seeing Rusty is her oldest, that evidently wasn’t the case. As I recall from a picture she once showed me, Ian was a handsome guy. Like his son.” She nodded in Kristy’s direction. “But to just chuck it all for love, well, there’s a lesson there.”
“Did you talk about me and Rusty? You know we’ve just started dating, and I’ve only met her once.” Kristy was sure that Rusty’s family would weigh in about anyone he dated. They seemed close. And protective. Not that things were serious, of course.
“You really want to know?”
The pulse at her temple jumped. “Is it that bad?”
“No. Not at all. But, while she thinks you’re nice and pretty, she’s worried.”
“About?”
“That you’ll put your career before Rusty and break his heart.”
Kristy set her wineglass on the table. She’d never considered herself a heartbreaker. Quite the contrary. “He knows we’re just giving this a trial run. I do have to put the business before anything else, especially because of this Boots and Bells opportunity. He understands that.”
“I’m sure he says so. But she’s worried that he’s already, well, too into you. And she’s afraid you’ll ditch him.” Her mother leaned toward her. “Should she be concerned?”
Kristy sat back against the sofa, feeling the need for support. “We’ve been out once. O-N-C-E. I like him or I wouldn’t have agreed to even one date.” And things would be a lot simpler if she hadn’t agreed. “So as long as he can handle playing second fiddle to this gala I’m in charge of and doesn’t show himself to be a weasel, why would I ditch him? Unless it’s to avoid getting the second degree after one date.” Maybe kissing him, being kissed by him, had been a mistake.
“But?”
“But I have no plans on getting serious either, least we forget the debacle with Dean.” Every time she thought of Rusty, Dean’s face appeared in the shadows, making it impossible for her to contemplate the future. And right now that was a good thing.
“Dean was a learning experience, but not all men are like Dean. From what I’ve gathered in my brief time with him, Rusty appears to be on the up and up. It’s clear he wants to be with you. And he doesn’t seem to care who knows it. And he’s charming.”
In the beginning, Dean had been all over her. And then, once they got engaged, it was if he felt his work was done and she wasn’t so special anymore. “Rusty already told me he’s not interested in getting serious.” Which made him perfect, at least in the short term. “You never know what someone is capable of. Dad did the same thing to you that Dean did to me.”
Her mom took a long sip of wine and set the empty glass on the table before speaking. “Well, that’s what I mean about there being a lesson that Jewel could teach women like me.
After Dean, she’d felt more sympathy for her mother than she had when she was twelve and her only wish was that her parents would stay together, regardless. “Like what?”
“Women like me, and maybe you, have looked at men, at marriage, as a stepping stone to the kind of life we want. Your father was an up-and-coming lawyer with political ambitions and the idea of being his wife, hosting parties, marrying a good breadwinner who could provide security, being able to raise children with all the financial benefits, not having to worry about surviving… well, that was very seductive.”
“You mean you didn’t love Daddy when you married him? Because that sounds very transactional.” Had that been how she’d felt about Dean? That he was a means to an end? Not a flattering appraisal… and something to think about.
“I cared about him. But if I’m being honest, and I owe it to you to be honest, I think I was in love with the idea of him, the idea of the life we could have together. And I wonder if that isn’t what you loved about Dean. He has ambition, he would be a good provider, you could build a family with him. The bottom line may have been what seemed most important for both of us. Dad and Dean were stepping stones to a destination, but they weren’t the destination. For Jewel, Ian was the destination. And once she reached that destination, then she could think about a future with him in it. He wasn’t just the stepping stone to that future. There was no future without him in it. Do you get the difference?”
Kristy crossed her arms over her chest as she mulled over her mother’s words. She had been devastated when she’d found out Dean had cheated on her. Angry. Hurt. Saddened. She had lost her future. The one that included a family.
“Maybe.” Although she’d never looked at it like that before. “But if you’re suggesting that to be happy I have to find a man that I would have to make sacrifices for because I want to be with him so badly, then count me out.”
Her mother slid closer. “Of course, he has to be willing to make sacrifices to be with you as well. Ian gave up the rodeo to settle down with Jewel, so she was his destination as well.”
“So I have to give up a part of me in order to get my happily ever after? And the guy has to give up something or it isn’t real? That just doesn’t make any kind of sense. Neither of us should have to give up anything.” And something she wasn’t prepared to do for any man. “Like giving up the Boots and Bells gala?” Not happening.
Her mother shook her head. “That’s not what I’m saying. Just that the guy has to mean so much to you that you’d be willing to in order to be with him. That you wouldn’t just be using him as a stepping stone to some fantasy future you wanted.”
“Why can’t I have the fantasy future and the guy without giving up anything?”
“Of course you can. But the man would come first. Just like you would come first for him. If it’s not reciprocal, it doesn’t work.”
“Seems a tall order and a fantasy in and of itself. I don’t know that I will ever feel that way about any man.”
“Hence Jewel’s concern.”
She’d finally decided to give in and date the guy, and it felt like she was already being given ultimatums. “Rusty’s not concerned. And as I said, he’s not interested in serious either.” That was what had made chucking her promise to herself possible.
“Still, when love hits, it hits.”
The Tina Turner song “What’s Love Got to Do with It” danced across her mind. “Can’t I just date someone without everyone rushing to marry us off?” Seemed a reasonable request.
“Just consider if he could be your destination. Not could he give you a good life, but would he be the kind of guy whose happiness mattered more to you than your own?”
Why did her stomach feel so funny? “It’s early days yet, and asking me to think about these things because his mother is worried really seems to be jumping the gun.” And freaking her out. They’d kissed and had a date… with her mother included. That was it.
“Well, he does seem to care about your happiness.”
She’d definitely gotten that feeling. But he was that way with everyone, it seemed. “He’s always looking for ways to help me. It’s sweet, but it does worry me a little.”
“Because?”
She shrugged.
“Reminds you of your father?”
She nodded. How did her mother figure that out? “Though until you said it, I’m not sure I would have made that connection, because he’s so unlike Daddy in other ways.”
“Maybe it’s not a control thing or a lack of faith. Maybe he’s simply eager to help. Like asking me to dance. He didn’t have to do that. I think you prompted him, but he could have said no. Instead he showed me a good time. I’d forgotten what a good time felt like. And he did it for you. To make you happy. And not because he wanted to get in your pants.”
“Mom!”
“Well, he knew I was staying over, so he knew that avenue was closed. At least for the moment.” She smiled. “The way he looks at you, the time is coming, mark my words. And I bet he’s a generous lover too.”
Kristy felt her cheeks heat. “Mom, we are not having this conversation.” Ever.
“Fine. Just think about what I’ve said. Find a guy who becomes your destination, and vice versa, and not your stepping stone, and you’ll be happy. Like Jewel.”