Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
JO
“I’m sorry. Have you lost your mind?” It had been a month since Ryan found out I was pregnant. We had created a united front. Two weeks ago, when I finally admitted to my family who the father of my child was, all hell broke loose. To say my family was in an uproar would be an understatement.
Ryan was exceptional throughout the entire process.
He remained steadfast by my side, addressing every question and enduring every comment with patience and grace.
My father, however, was preoccupied with concerns about how Ryan planned to fulfill his responsibilities on a ranch hand's modest salary.
Although Ryan owed him no explanation, he reassured my father with confidence and sincerity.
“I’m not one to spend extravagantly,” he explained. “The money I’ve earned as a Ranger and ranch hand has been invested wisely, and if necessary, I also have some family resources to rely on. They will never want for anything.”
That was then. Since Ryan dropped his bomb, he has been staring at me, remaining silent in the face of my question. Trying to cut the tension, I joked, “What happened? Did my dad and brothers take you out into the fields and threaten you with bodily harm or something?”
Ryan didn’t crack a smile.
May I add he had gone way off script. We agreed to be model co-parents. Ryan is an organised force. Until then, I couldn’t imagine him being an officer in the military. It took him a week to present me with a typed-out list of ideas on how we could make this long-distance arrangement work.
Now, his suggestion would throw out our well-crafted plan. What the hell was wrong with him?
I’ve been practising remaining calm for the baby. Did I mention that two days ago, I woke up and discovered I could no longer hide my pregnancy, even if I wanted to? My stomach had morphed overnight. Maybe that is why Ryan lost his mind.
Why else would he have just said? “I was thinking, let’s just get married?”
Under his silent scrutiny, I put down my delicious brownie. He had lured me over with the promise of baked goods, only to make the world’s most ridiculous suggestion.
I sighed. “I don’t want to get married to you.”
Something in his jaw ticked, and I realised that I might have sounded harsh. While what I said was true, I hurried to clarify. “What I mean is I don’t want to marry you, or anyone else.”
“Why?” Ryan asked.
It’s a good question. I know the answer, but my response is odd.
I’ve never wanted to be married. When we were little, while everyone around me was playing house, I was playing law office or courtroom.
I never imagined being a wife. Then again, I never envisioned being a mother either.
I’ve more than embraced the idea. I shook my head. That’s enough life changes for me.
Besides, marriage isn’t appealing to me, which I know seems odd.
I grew up with parents who adored each other; my aunts and uncles had solid marriages.
Great, even. My brothers, cousins, and Nancy are also in wedded bliss.
It’s great for them, but I don’t seek the partnership that makes their union work.
My inner voice has been really annoying lately. It reminds me that co-parenting is also a partnership.
I just don’t want my life tied to someone else, I countered.
Except we would be tied together for at least the next eighteen years.
Ryan cleared his throat, pulling me from my thoughts. “Why?” he repeated.
“Marriage isn’t for everyone.”
“Jo, you are avoiding my question.”
He was right; I was. I gave him a more palatable answer. “I like my life the way it is.”
“Your life is changing,” he said, sounding suspiciously like my inner voice. Ugh!
“Maybe that’s all the change I have in me at the moment.”
“I doubt it. My suggestion is that we get married to facilitate a more practical co-parenting arrangement.”
Damn if he isn’t right. It would make things easier, especially since Ryan intended to split his time between South Dakota and here. It would be easier to establish his rights as a parent and be recognised by both countries if we were married.
At first, his announcement caught me off guard.
I had no idea Ryan wasn’t just a former Ranger turned ranch hand.
I wasn’t worried about his financial contribution to our child—I had that covered.
But the cost of flying between Alberta and South Dakota every month would add up, and I made it clear I wouldn’t help with those expenses.
“Mm-mm. I can’t help with the cost of the flights,” I told him.
To his credit, he just smiled at me. “I have the cost of my flights covered, but since we are on the subject, money isn’t something I have to worry about.”
It felt foolish to be worried about him being able to care for himself or our child when he explained it to me.
How was I to know the man had bank? His family was responsible for much of the machinery that kept the ranches and farms around here operating.
I guess, all things considered, Ryan wasn’t a bad choice in a “baby daddy.”
So, what he was proposing didn’t sound like the marriages with which I was acquainted. Instead, it seemed like something entirely different—more like a business arrangement.
“When you say we get married, what does that look like to you?” I asked.
He paused, contemplating his words. “It looks like a partnership,” he replied.
“I’ll handle the financial responsibilities, ensuring both you and our child are well provided for.
When I’m in town, I’ll be fully present and supportive.
When I am not, I’ll be only a phone call away if you need anything at all. ”
“Okay.” My brain whirled, trying to process the information. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting his answer to be, but his scenario was one I could consider.
“You’ll never feel like you are parenting alone. I want to ensure you have the support you need, whether or not I’m physically there. Together, we can make this work, and I’m committed to being there for you every step of the way.”
Well, that all sounded good and all, but what about the rest of it? What about living arrangements? These questions lingered, and I needed clarity before committing to this arrangement.
“Will we have to live together?” I asked.
His eyes narrowed slightly, and he hesitated before answering. “No. We don’t have to live together…” He tilted his head to the side, a crease forming between his brows as if weighing the implications of what he was about to say. After a moment’s pause, he continued, “At least not for now.”
“What do you mean, ‘at least not for now’?”
Ryan’s eyes lingered on my growing belly.
“We might want to reconsider our living arrangements once the baby is born. Having us both under one roof would provide a stable and consistent environment for our child, reducing the stress of moving the baby back and forth. It would allow us to share responsibilities more easily and ensure we’re both there for those precious moments.
When I’m in town, I can be a hands-on dad, making it easier for us to adjust to the new routines that come with a newborn. ”
That was a lot to digest. Why did he have to make sense? Everything he said sounded like it was what was best for the baby. Was it wrong of me to wonder about what was best for me?
“Say we lived together at some point, couldn’t we revert to living separately when our child gets older?” I sounded hopeful.
He chuckled. “You seem eager to live on your own.”
“It’s what I’m used to.” I needed to hold on to some sort of normalcy. In a few months I went from being a thirty-five-year-old virgin, to being pregnant, to considering marrying the baby’s father. It was a lot.
“I understand that. We can keep both places, and when you feel you need space, you can always take some time for yourself. How about we play it by ear?”
I nodded. Was I going to marry him, though? Maybe. But I didn’t want a ceremony or reception or anything like that. We wouldn’t have that type of marriage. We would simply sign the papers and be done with it. Keep it simple and private, just the two of us.
Ryan reached out and placed his hand on my knee. I knew he was waiting for me to say yes to the agreement.
“I do not want anyone to know we are tying the knot.”
“You mean ever?” His brow furrowed.
“No, I mean before we do it, and not before the baby is born. My family will want a celebration. I don’t want one. Amara didn’t want a fuss, and look at what happened. They ended up with a huge reception. So that is one of my stipulations.”
“If that is what you want. You said one of your stipulations. What are the rest of them?”
“I’d prefer — no, I don’t want you hooking up with anyone in town while we are married.”
Ryan made a sound that was a strange mix of a chuckle and a grunt, a low, guttural noise that seemed to come from deep within his chest. It was a peculiar combination, as if he were both amused and irritated at the same time.
“If I understood you clearly, you are proposing that I can be with other women.” His other hand stroked his jaw.
“Y—” I began, only for Ryan to cut me off.
“Wait, and you would be okay with it as long as it is out of sight.”
“Well, yes. Out of respect.”
“See, I don’t think that is fair, Sunshine.
” His fingers gently squeezed my knee, the fabric of my tights barely a barrier to the warmth and strength of his touch.
It was a comforting yet distracting sensation, one I tried to ignore as I concentrated on the conversation.
Despite the pleasant warmth, I focused on his shocking declaration, determined not to let his touch sway me.
There was no way I had heard that man right.
“Fair?” I parroted. My voice was laced with incredulity, as if the very concept was something foreign. I couldn’t help but let a hint of sarcasm slip through, reflecting my disbelief at the situation.
“Nah, not all. ‘Cause you sure as hell can’t have another man touch you. Not. Ever.”
It felt like my mind went completely offline for a moment as I struggled to process what he had said. Then I pointed to myself, and although I remained silent, he answered me as if I had spoken.
“I meant what I said. There isn’t a damn thing another man can do for my wife that I can’t. No open-marriage shit. That is my stipulation, Jo.”
Why did my heart rate speed up when he put his foot down? Was it fear, excitement, or something else entirely?
“So, let’s say I agree to this. When do you want to get married?”
“Before I answer your question, I want to make sure we are clear on my stipulation.”
I nodded.
“Nah, Sunshine, I want to hear the words.”
“Sure…”
I stopped as he shook his head. Shit, which of us was the lawyer again?
“Yes, I understand.”
Ryan gave me what I can only describe as a self-satisfied smile. “Well, since after you leave here you are going to have dinner with Amara and Chase, how about tomorrow morning? We could take a drive to Edmonton and get hitched.”
Damn, this is what I got for sharing with him. I had been sitting around my office doing nothing all week, and my schedule was clear until Wednesday.
“Tomorrow?” I asked, because what was the rush?
“Yeah, why not? Unless you need time to get yourself ready and all dolled up for our big day.”
“No,” I immediately denied. There would be no fancy dress, shoes, or any of it for me.
Well, since I couldn’t think of an objection, I guessed I was going to take the day off tomorrow and get married. Unless… Ryan didn’t have all the documentation he needed. He’d probably have to fly home and get his birth certificate and other identification.
“Hey, we might have to hold off. We will both need our identification in order for the registry to issue our marriage certificate.”
“Well, I have all the documentation the registry requires.” He sounded so confident.
“You couldn’t possibly know that,” I practically taunted.
“Of course, I do.”
“So, you have a birth certificate?”
“Check.”
“A visiting visa?”
“Check.” He tapped my nose.
“Oh. Um…”
“No need to worry; I have everything I need to get married.”
“Did you look it up?”
Ryan shrugged as if the answer should have been obvious to me.
“Of course. How else would I be prepared?”
I suppose I should be grateful that one of us was ready because I sure wasn’t. God, what had I gotten myself into?