Chapter Fifteen #2
She could see the wetness slicking her thighs, her desire so evident. She looked wanton. Needy. And his eyes looked black with desire. His breathing, too, was elevated but he was fully clothed except his jacket.
“Eyes open,” he commanded. “I want you to watch yourself when you tip over. Eyes never lie the way lips do.”
He kissed her lips and she speared her fingers in his thick hair. She hadn’t lied to him. She hadn’t told him everything, but she hadn’t lied. And she wouldn’t. It felt like a vow in her mind. Something she would keep.
“I want to see you,” she said feeling feverish and edgy and not sure what to do with her body, when he reangled her so that she faced herself in the mirror—nearly naked, her tank bunched around her waist, one breast exposed, one covered, but the fabric didn’t hide her peaking nipple.
“My turn, and I intend to take my time and savor you, inch by inch.” As if to punctuate his words, his thumb continued to work her clit, but he slipped a finger deep inside of her.
She jerked against him, crying out and parting her legs more so that he had better access.
“Telford,” she whispered as she felt she was climbing some precipice she wasn’t prepared for.
She could feel the hard length of his desire pressed against her bottom and lower back, and it was one more advantage of being tall, that she could feel his arousal, which was as obvious as hers. She moved against him wanting more, aching for so much more.
He hissed, and his finger curled in her soaked channel once, twice, the pressure nearly unbearable.
“So close?”
She gripped his arms, fingers digging in, trying to keep herself from exploding.
And just when she thought she’d tip over into the abyss, he removed his hand.
She choked out a protest, as he trailed his glistening finger up her body, circled her nipple then kissed it, sucking her nipple into his mouth.
“Mmmmmmm.” The letter set off quakes deep in her body that began to build.
He watched her in the mirror, and she stared back at them both, helpless to take charge of any of this, and not sure she wanted to. What would happen next? She could barely breathe or wait to find out.
He licked the pad of his finger. “Honey and spice and how I imagined you’d taste. Unique seduction.” He held his finger to her lips. “Share yourself with me, Ayana.”
She sucked his finger deep in her mouth, and instead of having to brace herself, thinking about pleasuring a man, she pictured her mouth on him, her tongue and lips doing the things to him that he was doing to her.
His whispered sigh and the tension of his body cranked her higher. Her tongue teased his finger.
“Your turn,” she said.
“Not quite. I’m not done.” He said the last word against her mouth, kissing her deeply, and then his hand was between her thighs again, his pressure harder, his finger deeper, and his thumb worked her clit so that she feared she’d be unable to stand, but he had her locked to his body.
She could feel his strength and his intent, and instead of fearing his power, she jumped into it, matching his desire with her own.
She reached behind her, unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, and pushed past his boxers until she held his smooth strength in her hand.
“Yes,” he said, and the one syllable felt like permission to herself to let go, leap into the flames and trust herself as much as him and, for the first time, Ayana stopped trying to hold back her orgasm and her connection to another person, and it felt like fire raced across her skin and danced in her blood.
*
The morning was crisp, almost to the point of icy, but the sky was cerulean blue, and Ayana still felt the glow from last night.
Never had she imagined such intimacy with a man.
Telford’s lovemaking had been eye-opening, and that was an epic understatement.
He’d been passionate and thorough, and oh so generous.
His hands had been warm, and the faint callouses had awakened nerve endings she never knew she had.
And his mouth.
Even in the truck, both of them fully dressed and drinking large lattes from the Java Café, her body still felt aroused and well loved.
She had to settle down. It had been sex.
Inevitable, yet she continued to want to reach out and touch him, connect them like they were a real couple, even as they headed out past the Telford family ranch day of pre-wedding adventure activities.
She should be trying to create some space. She was getting invested emotionally. Not just thinking of the marriage as a job.
Falling in love had never been part of the plan.
Love.
The word had been dancing around her peripheral vision for a few days.
She’d avoided it, denied it. But last night watching Telford stand with a bunch of cowboys he was probably related to had cracked open her heart.
He’d been aloof, and yet there’d been a hint of vulnerability and longing that had been tangible.
Family. He’d lost his. She’d run from hers.
But now they both had a second chance.
If I have the courage.
They drove in silence. She didn’t bring out any of her projects, preferring to rest one hand on his thigh to keep the connection from last night, while she watched the beautiful pastoral scenery roll by. She wondered if it was strange that they could be quiet yet without tension.
“You really want to do this?” Telford asked as he pulled up next to several parked trucks at the indicated GPS coordinates.
“It will be fun,” she said sunnily, shaking off her introspective mood.
She popped out of the truck before he’d cut the engine.
She already wore a beanie and had wrapped a scarf around her neck.
It was cashmere, a rare indulgence she’d picked up in Paris one year, arguing to herself that the taupe color meant it would go with everything.
She kept it in a sealed bag with cedar balls to preserve it when she wasn’t wearing it.
Now she had a cashmere sweater that was a rich rust color—still sort of neutral, she’d defended to herself, but Telford had bought that for her.
Along with a teal blue cashmere sweater.
The warning to not get too comfortable was slow to kick in this morning.
“We’re both competitive. You’re a city boy now having a friendly competition with rancher cowboys. Time for you to pony up and show them what you got.”
“We got. It’s a team thing.” Telford left the truck with a lot more reluctance than she had, but perhaps he hadn’t been trying to outrun his thoughts.
“You and Cam were a team,” she reminded him. She grinned and stuck her fingers in her cheeks like she had dimples, like she’d seen in some photos of Cam. “Fine. We’ll show these Montana boys what we got.”
She amped up her sunny smile and pulled her phone out of her jeans pocket and started videoing him. “Stop stalling. Life-or-death survival-or-perish wedding party competition. Take one.”
He paused in his fluid walk toward her. His ocean gaze searched her face, and it was hard to swallow. Then he took out his shades and put them on and looked so much like an action star that her heart thumped a little, remembering their night together.
Maybe she really did need her head examined.
The Family had always thought her flawed, but she’d rejected their assessment.
Ironic as hell if they’d been right all along and even in a situation that was the complete opposite, offering her almost every freedom imaginable, and a man who didn’t beat, boss, or demean her to get what he wanted, and she still couldn’t submit.
Ugh. She hated that word. She’d worked hard to strike it from her mental vocabulary, but then it popped up again, a taunting, psychological whack-a-mole.
He closed the distance between them, and her mouth dried while her stupid thoughts raced.
“We don’t have to do this, Ayana. I could be a jerk and remind you that you accepted the barely dawn madness on our behalf. I had different plans for our morning.” His voice deepened, and the look in his eyes made it clear that his plans had included more body-melting sex.
“I-I thought it would be a good idea—ultimately,” she stammered, feeling herself blushing though this man had all but dined on all of her last night. “Even if it doesn’t seem like such a genius move now.”
She could hear voices—male, female—and the breeze kicked up. “You’ve run from your past long enough. This is a chance to face it. Get to know your blood.”
“I didn’t run”—he reached out and stroked a finger along her cheek—“as much as I’d made no effort to open a door I’d thought had been sealed shut by others.”
He stepped into her, his chest nearly bumping hers. “But if you want to talk about running …”
“I don’t.”
“You’re safe with me, Ayana.”
“I know.” Defensiveness raised her voice. “But I can take care of myself.”
“I know. But you don’t always have to on your own. Team.” He tossed her word back at her.
She felt utterly exposed. Could she be on a team? Learn to let go and trust?
“Teamwork is why we’re here. Why Cash arranged this whole … whatever it is … pre-wedding obstacle course or whatever challenge. He said it’s a couples thing. A family thing. There was no description of it online at his private wedding site.”
Telford and his research. His scrutiny shifted to the activities, and her breath whooshed in relief.
The breeze kicked up, colder now as if pushing them toward the circle within the trees about fifty yards ahead.
“Oh. I nearly forgot.” She pulled out the beanie she’d made for him over the past couple of days. She’d added felt inside for more warmth and softness, as she’d noticed that he preferred natural fabrics and seemed sensitive about textures.
He took the beanie. Ran it through his fingers. It was a deep, smoky blue lined with a black fabric that was soft. She hadn’t made him anything yet though she had made a couple of vests with fringe that she’d dropped off at the western wear store.
“Thank you.” He put it on. “It’s warm and smells like you.”