Chapter Ten
Tanner braced his hands on the bar and leaned toward Everly, wishing that he was on the other side with her. It was a new feeling for him. Usually, he was grateful to be back here, grateful to have the bar as both a barrier and an excuse between himself and the women he was flirting with. He wouldn’t deny that he enjoyed taking women up to their rooms afterward, but he wasn’t usually interested in spending the first part of the evening with them.
He loved the way she smiled at him.
“What’s that look for?” she asked.
“You. I’m enjoying this. Do you want to dance?”
“I’m good,” she said, misunderstanding the question.
The others were all up and dancing, and she was trying to reassure him that she was fine sitting by herself.
“You’re more than good, you’re awesome,” he told her with a smile. “And I wasn’t asking in a general way – not as a, do you wish you could dance? I meant do you want to dance with me?”
“I’d love to, but you’re working.”
He grinned. “Not anymore, I’m not. I’m done.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Don’t go getting in trouble for my sake.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not.” He grabbed Brody’s shoulder as he walked by, and Brody grinned at her. “My lady’s worried that I’m going to get myself in trouble for skipping out early.”
“You’ve got no worries, honey. I told him that he should finish early. We’ve got things handled back here. He does more than his fair share, so now that he has good reason to get out of here, I don’t mind covering.”
“Wow, thanks,” said Everly.
“My pleasure,” Brody told her before turning to Tanner. “Go on, get your ass out of here, you’re making the place look untidy. Go and dance with your girl before the band finishes.”
Tanner didn’t need telling twice. He hurried toward the hatch at the end of the bar to let himself out. He felt a little bit guilty leaving the rest of the staff to finish the night without him, but they all gave him encouraging smiles and nods. Perhaps he shouldn’t be too surprised; he usually stuck around until the very end of the night – no matter what his plans were afterward.
When he reached Everly, he couldn’t resist putting his hands on her waist and lifting her down from the stool. When her feet hit the floor, instead of letting go of her, he slid his arms around her waist and drew her closer.
He loved the way her eyes shone as she looked up into his. “Well, this is a nice surprise.”
He nodded happily. “Brody’s a good guy,” he said by way of explanation. He dropped a kiss on her lips. “What do you think? Do you want to dance? Or…”
He was surprised at himself, and his heart raced as he waited for her reply. He knew damn well what the question sounded like, and he hadn’t intended to ask that – although he hadn’t known if he’d be able to resist.
“I…”
He chuckled. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. Come on, let’s dance.”
He rested his hand on the small of her back as he walked her out onto the dance floor. Once he had his arms around her again, they started to move to the music. He had to laugh at the expression on Laney’s face as she and Luke went by.
Everly laughed, too. “I know, right?” she said to his sister. “I don’t know what’s going on, either, but I’m not complaining.”
Laney grinned at her. “Good for you. That attitude will serve you well around here; if things are going the way you want them to, just roll with it.”
Tanner felt as though her words were aimed at him just as much as they were at Everly.
The song changed, and the music slowed. He curled both arms around her waist, and she slid hers up around his neck. He rested his forehead against hers and looked down into her eyes.
“How tall are you?”
She gave him a puzzled look and then laughed. “Five-five, why?”
He laughed with her. “Sorry, it’s just that it didn’t hit me until tonight how small you are.”
“Small?” she asked indignantly. “I’m not small.”
“I don’t mean it in a bad way. I like it.”
She laughed. “Well, that’s a good thing; it’s not as though I can change it now.”
“I wouldn’t want you to. I wouldn’t want to change a thing about you.”
Her arms tightened around his neck, and he held her closer to his chest, loving the feel of her full, soft breasts against his chest – and hoping that she wouldn’t have a problem with the very not soft part of him against her stomach.
“What happens after this?”
He shook his head slowly. “Whatever you want to happen.”
She held his gaze for a long moment, and it struck him that even if she wanted the same thing that he did, she probably wouldn’t come right out and say it.
He smiled. “How about I lay out some options?”
“Okay.”
“Well, we could do the same thing we did last night. I could take you back to the Remington place, we could go for a walk, I could kiss you good night, and we could make arrangements to see each other tomorrow.”
A rush of warmth filled his chest as she nodded. She was agreeing, but it looked like she was waiting to hear what other options might be on offer.
“Or…” He raised his eyebrows and let the moment draw out.
She laughed and slapped the back of his neck. “Don’t tease me, just say it. What are you thinking?”
He tightened his arms around her. “I think that you’re the one who’s teasing me, darlin’. But I’ll go ahead and say it. If you want, instead of me taking you back to Remington Ranch, I could bring you back to MacFarland Ranch.”
He held her gaze and waited. He couldn’t remember ever feeling like a girl’s response to his suggestion mattered as much as Everly’s did in this moment. He still remembered the first time he’d invited himself up to a girl’s room when he and Luke used to come in here to hookup when they weren’t much more than kids. He’d been so nervous at the time that his knees were shaking, but that was nothing compared to this. He was a kid back then, and although it seemed important in the moment, he already had a plan. If that girl had said no, he knew that he’d have more chances with the girls in the bar.
This – with Everly – his question was about so much more than whether she wanted to spend the night with him. And he knew that if she said no, he’d never meet another girl like her.
The silence dragged out for so long that his heart started to pound, and his mind started to race. If she said no…
“Okay.”
His heart thudded to a stop. “Okay?”
She nodded slowly. “I think so.”
“Then no.” Was he crazy?
Everly looked surprised, but not nearly as surprised as he felt. “No?”
He kissed her, needing to give himself a moment before he took it back, and marched her out of here before either of them could change their minds.
When he finally lifted his head, he nodded. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I don’t want to. I think you know damn well that I do. But until you know damn well that you want to…”
“I do.” She said it so forcefully that there was no doubting her, but he had to check.
“A minute ago there, you said you think so.”
“I did, but that wasn’t about… My hesitation wasn’t about you.”
“What then?”
“That’s like … Going back to your place – your home .”
He smiled. “I know. It kind of surprises me too, but in a good way. I know I told you that I don’t take girls to the ranch but …”
“It’s not that – well, not just that. Oh, what the hell? I might as well just come out with it. What I mean is that if I come back with you tonight then … You know… Tomorrow morning…”
He chuckled. “Oh! Are you trying to tell me that you don’t want to have to do the walk of shame in front of my family?”
Her cheeks turned pink as she nodded.
“You don’t have to.”
She raised her eyebrows.
“See, what I was thinking is that …”
“What?”
He laughed. “I’m not used to being in this position. I’m not used to wondering whether I’m asking for too much. No matter what else happened, I was going to ask if you wanted to come to the ranch for lunch tomorrow. If you’re already there, in the morning, you can just hang out. So, what do you say?”
A wave of relief washed over him when she tightened her arms around his neck and smiled. “I’d like that.”
~ ~ ~
Everly stared out the truck window as Tanner turned into the driveway at the ranch. She looked up at the big wooden sign: MacFarland Ranch . She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to live in a place like this. Not just on a huge ranch out here in Montana, but with a big family – in a place where you knew everyone, and they knew you. A place where you had roots. Her own childhood hadn’t exactly been stable. Not that it had been bad. Her mom had provided well for her and taken good care of her. There was no shortage of love between them, but her mom’s career had kept them on the move.
She stared up at the big house. It seemed to represent the kind of life she used to long for as a kid – and if she were honest, the kind of life that she wished she could give Ashton.
“Are you doing okay over there?” Tanner asked. “You’re mighty quiet. Would you rather I took you back to the Remington place?”
She let out a short laugh. “No. That wasn’t what I was thinking.”
He rested his hand on the console and waggled his fingers. She placed her hand in his, loving the way he did that.
“What then?”
She shrugged. “Just thinking how different our lives are.” It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was close enough.
“You know, you still haven’t told me much about what your life’s like.”
Her heart leapt into her mouth. He was right. The right moment still hadn’t presented itself for her to tell him about Ashton, and it was about time that she did.
“As a matter of fact, there’s something that you need to know. I…”
“Whoa!” Tanner slammed on the brakes and held his arm out in front of her as the truck slid to a stop.
“What the…?” she gasped. And then she saw it – a deer was bounding away across the field.
“Are you okay?”
“I am. That was close. Are you okay?”
He let out a short laugh. “I am. We were lucky. All too often, by the time you spot them, there’s nothing you can do but hit them.” He looked out across the field to where the deer was disappearing into the trees that lined the creek, then he turned back to her with a smile. “Our insurance rates are through the roof because of them. You must be my lucky charm.”
She laughed. “If you say so. I feel bad that I was distracting you by talking.”
“It’s more like I was paying extra attention to the road because I knew that I was also listening to you.” He gave her a rueful smile. “The last couple I hit, I was all by myself – no excuses.”
They’d reached the house now, and as Tanner pulled around the back of it, a light on the porch came on and the kitchen door opened.
“Are you okay with this?” he asked. “That’s Ford.”
“He’s the oldest of the brothers who live here, right?” she asked. She hadn’t met him earlier, but Tanner had told her which one he was. She was just saying whatever came to mind because she was uncomfortable that Ford would now know that she was here – and why.
“He is, but don’t worry, he won’t hang around. Wait there.”
She watched him jump out of the truck and trot up the porch steps. She shuddered. This might be even worse than just getting out with him and going to say hi. As she watched him talk to his brother, she took a deep breath. They weren’t kids, sneaking around. There was no reason that she shouldn’t be here. She reached for the door handle and got out.
They both turned to her as she started up the steps. For a moment, she hesitated, wondering if Tanner might have preferred her to wait. The smile he gave her reassured her. He held his arm out to her, and she went to stand beside him.
“Ford, this is Everly. You missed her when she was here earlier.”
Her nervousness faded away when Ford smiled at her. “Hey, Everly. It’s nice to meet you.” He chuckled. “Sorry I wasn’t around earlier; I felt like I missed out – the guys were saying how great you are.”
She smiled as she shook hands with him. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”
“Well, I hope I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow. I was just about to turn in. I came out to make sure that you guys were okay – I heard the truck. I take it that it was a deer?” he asked Tanner.
Tanner laughed. “It was. I got lucky this time; I missed it.”
Ford grinned at Everly. “I hope you’ll stick around. You must be his lucky charm; it’s hard to avoid hitting them, we’ve all done it, but Tanner doesn’t usually miss.”
Tanner grinned at her. “See, I told you.”
“Okay, goodnight, guys.” Ford turned and disappeared inside as Everly called, goodnight , after him.
Tanner took her hand and led her into the house. The big farmhouse kitchen only added to her impression of a warm and wonderful family home.
He went to the fridge and grabbed two bottles of beer. “Do you want one of these? There’s probably some wine if…”
“I’m good with one of those, thanks.”
He grinned and caught her hand again. She followed him up the wide stairs, marveling as she went at just how beautiful the house was. It was all made of logs, even the staircase. She ran her free hand along the well-worn banister. It was a whole different world from the one she came from, and it hit her hard that she needed to remember that. As wonderful as Tanner was, this was just a very brief interlude in her life. A life that she needed to get back to and get on with.
As he opened the door to his bedroom, she told herself that after tonight, she’d have to deal with reality again. She’d have to decide whether it was worth hanging on and hoping that she might get to see her dad, or if she should kiss Tanner goodbye and go home.
Inside his room, he set the bottles on his nightstand and came to stand in front of her. That smile! When he met her gaze and rested his hands on her shoulders, her tummy flipped over. She promised herself that she’d deal with reality tomorrow, but tonight? Tonight, she was going to make the most of being with Tanner.
“You okay?” His voice sounded huskier than usual, and it sent shivers down her spine.
“I’m more than okay. Are you?”
“Almost.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that I think I’m on the verge of being more okay than I’ve ever been, but I need you to tell me first that this is what you want.”
She rested her hands on his waist. “You can’t tell?”
He leaned in and brushed his lips over hers, making her sigh.
“I think so, but I don’t want to guess – I need to know. You’ve got me turned inside out and upside down, darlin’. I need to hear you say it.”
She raised her eyebrows – she knew what he meant, but she wasn’t sure just which words he wanted to hear.
“Tell me that you want this – that you want me.”
She melted against him as she slid her arms around his neck. “I want you, Tanner.”
“Thank fuck for that!”
She giggled as he tightened his arms around her waist and lifted her so that her feet left the floor.
“I want you so bad, Ev.” He walked over to the bed and laid her down on it, crawling up over her until he was looking down into her eyes. “Kiss me.”
She clung to him and did as he asked, surprised at the needy little noises that seemed to be coming from somewhere within her. She wasn’t conscious of making them, she was only aware of his hands on her clothes, stripping her down. She tried to do the same to him, but her fumbling fingers were no match for his belt buckle.
When she was naked, he lifted his head and smiled. “You’re beautiful, Everly.”
“So are you. But help a girl out, would you? You’re still wearing far too many clothes.”
He chuckled as he rolled off the bed and stripped naked in a matter of seconds.
“That better?” he asked as he climbed back onto the bed.
She swallowed as she nodded. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. He was all hard muscle, and hard … she licked her lips as she eyed his cock. He wrapped his hand around it and tugged.
“I’m trying to be good here, Ev. But … damn, darlin’. Our first time might be fast, but I’ll make it up to you. I want you so bad that I can hardly think straight, but …” He reached into the drawer in the nightstand and took out a condom. “I’m clean. I know you might have your doubts about me given … well, you know … but I promise I’m always careful. I always suit up, and I get tested regularly. Last time was only a couple of weeks ago and I got a clean bill of health.”
Her heart melted in her chest when he held her gaze – he looked so earnest as he added, “I promise you.”
“It’s okay. I believe you.”
“Thanks.”
She wondered if they could carry on now that they had that out of the way – and then it dawned on her. “Oh! Sorry. I am, too – clean. No damage or diseases, or whatever it is they say. I … shit.” She was going to have to tell him the truth – it was only fair. “I only get my checkup every year and it’s been almost a year but … but there’s nothing to worry about.”
He frowned.
“I mean that there’s no way I could have picked anything up since my last test.”
His expression turned from puzzled to shocked. “You mean …?”
“Yeah. I mean I haven’t had sex since.”
“In almost a year?”
She screwed her eyes shut as she told him, “For a whole lot longer than that.”
She didn’t know what reaction she expected from him, but it wasn’t the one she got. He lay down next to her and wrapped his arms around her, crushing her against his chest as he kissed her forehead.
When she finally opened her eyes, his big green ones were right there, staring back at her.
“What?”
He brushed his lips over hers in the gentlest kiss. “I’m just trying to take in what a lucky bastard I am. You need to understand that I know it.”
She made a face. “I feel like it’s the other way around.”
He shook his head solemnly. “No, darlin’. You’re like this precious prize. You’re one in a million, and I know how lucky I am that you even gave me a second glance – never mind …” He tightened his arm around her “… letting me get this close.” He kissed her deep and slow until she was writhing against him. When they came up for air, he held her gaze as he said, “I promise I’m going to be the best I can be for you.”
She nodded slowly. She had no doubt that he was about to be the best she’d ever had, but it felt like he meant more than that, too. Either way, she was desperate to find out.