Chapter Twenty-Four
“We’re quiet tonight, you might as well go home, Everly.”
Everly raised her eyebrows at her boss. “Are you sure?”
He laughed. “I’m sure. You’ve had your head in the clouds all week.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…”
“There’s nothing to apologize for. I’m not saying that you’ve been off your game. It’s nice to see you so happy. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that this new boyfriend of yours is the reason. So, while we’re quiet, you should go home and make the most of your time with him. Is he leaving this weekend?”
Her heart sank. “He is. He has to get back to the ranch.”
Her boss raised his eyebrows. “Do I need to start looking for a replacement for you?”
Her shoulders sagged. “I don’t know.”
“Want some advice?”
“I’ll take any advice I can get at this point, Doug. I don’t know what to do.”
He smiled. “Yeah, you do. You want to move up there and be with him. So, you should do it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to go – I’ll be sad to lose you. But I’ll find someone else. They won’t be as good as you are, but in the grand scheme of things, settling for my second choice of bartender isn’t going to ruin my life. You on the other hand, if you let him go…” Doug shook his head. “Settling for your second choice in men? That’s a whole other deal. That could well ruin your life. I’ve known you for a long time, Everly. I’ve never seen you like this before. This Tanner? He’s good for you. And from what you’ve said, he’s good for Ashton, too. You want to go with him, right?”
“I’d love to, but…”
Doug shook his head. “Forget the buts. Go for it. Find a way.”
“I don’t know how. I don’t know if I’m brave enough.”
He smiled. “Would it help if I fired you?”
She gaped at him.
“I’ll do it, if that’s what it takes. That way you don’t have to be brave – you’d have no other choice.”
“Are you saying…?”
He chuckled. “No. I’m not. But if you look at it from that perspective – you’d do it if you had no other choice. So, why not do it because you want to?”
“I guess you’re right.”
“I know I am – go on, get out of here. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Thanks, Doug.”
“You’re welcome. I just don’t want to see you waste your life. It seems to me that you have a chance at real happiness. When those chances come along, you should grab them with both hands.”
Everly pondered his words as she drove home. He was right; she did have a chance at real happiness. She knew that in her heart. So, why wasn’t she jumping at it?
Because of Ashton? Because she didn’t want to disrupt his whole world in case her relationship with Tanner didn’t work out? That took her back to what Cash had said – was it better to keep him in a small, safe life, than to take a chance on giving him an amazing life?
She glanced at the screen when her phone rang and answered when she saw that it was her mom.
“Hi, Mom. How are you? How are things going?”
“I’m fine. Joe’s doing better. Although, his dad seems to be going downhill.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s a horrible thing to say, but it might be for the best. It doesn’t sound like his dad has been in touch with reality for a while, but he understands that his wife died, and he’s not taking it well. He has no quality of life…” Her mom sighed. “Anyway, I didn’t call to talk about that. I want to hear how you’re doing. I didn’t know if I’d catch you; I thought you might still be at work.”
“I’m on the way home. It was quiet tonight, so Doug let me finish early.”
“You fell on your feet when you got that job. Doug’s a good guy.”
“He is. He’s always been good to me.” Everly was tempted to tell her mom about the conversation she’d had with him, but she’d be home in a few minutes, and talking to her mom about it would take a while.
“And how’s our little man doing with Tanner?”
She laughed. “They’re doing great. It’s so cute to see them together, Mom. It’s like watching them fall in love with each other.”
Her mom was quiet for a few moments before she asked, “And what about you, sweetie? Are you falling in love with him, too?”
Everly felt as though she should maybe take more time before she admitted it, but she couldn’t keep the smile off her face. “I’ve already fallen, Mom. He’s… everything.”
“Aww. I’m happy for you, Everly. I talked to your dad – he says he’s a great guy.”
“He is.”
“You know it begs the question, though, don’t you?”
“What question?”
“How will you make it work?”
“I think there’s only one way we can make it work.”
She was surprised to hear the smile in her mom’s voice when she spoke again. “I think so, too. You need to move up there.”
“But how?”
Her mom laughed. “By the sounds of it, you can just hop on a jet and go.”
“That was kind of awesome, but back here in the real world, I still need to find a job up there. I still have to think about the house here. I still need to keep an eye on your house.”
“You don’t have to do a damn thing you don’t want to, sweetie.”
“Yes, I do. I can’t just…”
“You can! For once in your life, would you stop being so damned responsible? If you want to go with him, go! I can come back and deal with your house and ours. I could call in a moving company, and get your things packed up and on their way to you in no time. I could do the same with our house if it came to it. All I’m saying, Everly, is that there are no practical reasons to hold you back. If you don’t want to do it, that’s one thing. If you do, then go for it.”
“Thanks, Mom. But I need a job.”
“You’re a resourceful young woman – you’ll find one.”
Everly shook her head as she turned into her driveway and cut the engine. “I’m home.”
Her mom chuckled. “You are for now, but I think you’ll be calling Montana home before you know it. I’ll let you go. Give our little man a big hug for me and say hello to Tanner for me. I’m looking forward to meeting him.”
“Will do. Give Joe my love.”
“I will. He sends his. Talk to you soon. Love you.”
“Love you, Mom.”
~ ~ ~
“Mom’s home!”
Tanner grinned at Ashton. “It’s a good thing we got your homework finished.”
Ashton giggled. “Only just!”
Tanner narrowed his eyes at him. “You’re going to get me into trouble. Tomorrow, we need to get the homework done and out of the way first.”
“Tomorrow’s Friday. I don’t have to do it tomorrow.”
“We’ll see what your mom says.”
“What I say about what?” Everly asked as she came in through the front door.
Tanner laughed. “How did you even hear that before you came in?”
“I told you; she knows everything.”
Everly laughed. “I don’t know about everything, but I do know that you will do whatever it takes to get out of doing homework.” She smiled at Tanner. “And you might not understand yet just how slippery this little creature can be.” As she spoke, she tried to wrap her arms around Ashton, but the kid wriggled away, laughing as he went to stand behind the armchair.
Tanner laughed as he watched them. “He’s slippery, alright. I didn’t understand it at first, but I’m learning fast.”
“It’s true, though, isn’t it, Mom? I don’t have to do homework on Fridays, do I?”
“No. But you don’t get to leave it until Sunday night, either. Did you do tonight’s homework?”
Ashton grinned at Tanner. “We did, didn’t we?”
“We did.” He winked at the kid. They should have done it earlier, but it was done.
“You’re home early, Mom. If I get ready now, can we all read?”
That took Tanner by surprise. From what he’d seen, Ashton usually asked for more time before bed – not to go early.
“Sure,” said Everly. “You go up and get ready.”
Tanner watched Ashton trot up the stairs before going to Everly and wrapping his arms around her and kissing her forehead.
“You are home early. Is everything alright?”
“We were quiet, so Doug let me leave early.”
“He sounds like a good guy.”
“He is.”
Tanner’s heart started to pound. He knew that she liked her job, even if the hours weren’t ideal. He was just hoping that they’d be able to find her something that would suit her better in the valley.
He stared into her eyes, wanting nothing more than to ask her to come home with him – and stay. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking as she looked back into his eyes. He tightened his arms around her.
“I don’t want to leave you.”
She nodded slowly. “I don’t want you to.”
“Come with me? I talked to Cash earlier; he said he can send the plane tomorrow night.”
She tightened her arms around him. “Can I ask you to make me a promise?”
He nodded slowly, wondering what was coming.
“If we come with you, you have to promise to tell me if things change for you. If we get there, and it’s not working for you, you have to tell me – you’re not stuck with us, understand?”
He smiled as he ran his hand over her hair. “I could never be stuck with you, you’re what I want – both of you. If it’ll set your mind at ease, then I’ll promise to tell you if that ever changes, but it won’t. You have to make me the same promise, though. If we get up there and it turns out that I’m not what you want, you have to tell me.” He frowned. “I don’t want you to feel that you’re stuck with me. I don’t want you to feel that you gave up your life only to get stuck in one that you don’t want.”
“That won’t happen. You’re what I want – and we both know that you’re what Ashton wants. I just… I don’t want to feel dependent on you. I need a job.”
He had to smile. “I know.”
“Why’s that funny?”
He chuckled. “Because I think the job might have found you.”
“What job?”
“It’s not my place to say. I know how this must look, but it’s not my doing.”
“Then what?”
“Mom! Tanner! I’m ready! Come on up. We can read the cowboy book tonight.”
Tanner chuckled. “Tonight, he says – it’s the only book he wants to read.”
“And we both know why,” said Everly. “But after we read with him, you’re going to have to explain yourself.”
“Okay.” He was hoping that by the time they were done reading, he wouldn’t need to explain anything. Cash had surprised him in the best way when he spoke to him earlier. But he still felt as though he should stay out of it. Cash might have interfered a tiny bit, but Tanner wanted to be able to say in all honesty that he’d had nothing to do with it.
When they reached Ashton’s bedroom, the kid was sitting in the middle of his bed holding his book up. He patted the bed on either side of him. “This is awesome. I get both of you tonight.”
Once they were settled, Tanner met Everly’s gaze over Ashton’s head and smiled. If being with her felt right, this felt even more right, if that were possible. He’d kind of thought that he’d have a family of his own one day – even if he’d never examined that thought too closely. But this? This was better than he’d ever dreamed it might be. Maybe one day, he and Everly would have a child of their own, but he loved Ashton as if he were his own already.
Ashton handed him the book. “You read it.” He turned to Everly. “He does the best cowboy voice.”
Everly laughed. “Doesn’t he?”
Tanner grinned and put on his best gruff cowboy voice as he started to read. He got so caught up in the story that Everly caught him by surprise when she tapped his shoulder a little while later.
He gave her a rueful smile and shrugged when he saw that Ashton was already asleep. He hadn’t noticed the kid close his eyes because he was still in the same position – he was leaning against Tanner, arm around his waist, head on his chest.
Everly kissed Ashton’s head and said, “Love you, Ash. Goodnight.”
“Love you, Mom.” Ashton murmured as he let go of Tanner and turned over. Tanner couldn’t resist leaning in to kiss his head, too. That felt like a family tradition that he wanted to be a part of.
“Love you, bud. Goodnight.”
He started to get up from the bed, but froze when Ashton mumbled, “Love you, Dad.”
Tanner couldn’t breathe. There was a lump in his throat, and his heart felt as though it swelled in his chest. He had to blink a couple of times at a strange prickling sensation behind his eyes.
He slowly lifted his gaze to Everly, afraid of what her reaction might be. She looked as scared as he felt. At first, he couldn’t figure out why. Then, it hit him. He inclined his head toward the door and slid off the bed.
When they were out on the landing, he pulled the door almost shut, but left it open a few inches. Everly’s eyes were still wide as she eyed him warily.
He took hold of her hand and led her down the stairs. Neither of them spoke while he went into the kitchen and poured them each a glass of wine. He watched her take a big gulp and knocked back half of his glass before setting it down on the counter.
“Come here, darlin’.”
She still looked wary as she approached him.
“What are you so worried about?” he asked.
“You know. What Ash said. He… He was already asleep. You know what he’s like; he’s out like a light. He just goes through the routine of saying goodnight when I say it to him. It was just…”
He curled his arms around her waist and held her to him as he looked down into her eyes.
“Are you worried that it might be too much for me? That it might scare me off?”
She closed her eyes and breathed out a big sigh as she rested her forehead against his chest. “Yes. Of course I am. We only just talked about moving up there to be with you, and there he is… You know…”
He chuckled as he tucked his fingers under her chin to make her look up at him. “Yeah, I do know. There he is, calling me Dad.” He grinned; he couldn’t help it. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.”
Her eyes widened. “It does?”
“It does. Unless you have a problem with it.”
She stared at him. “I… It’s not that I have a problem with it. It just took me by surprise. I… How do you… When do you…? What do you think put that idea in his head?”
“The how? I don’t know. The when? Remember when we arrived at the ranch and he started calling Ford, Uncle Ford right away?”
She nodded.
“I asked him about it – because I was a little bit jealous. But I was only jealous until he explained. He said that if I were his dad, Ford would be his uncle. Well, I guess you know that part already, but … That was when he said that he wants me to be his dad. As for what put the idea in his head – I think that speaks for itself. He wants a dad. I think every little boy does, whether they know it or not.” He gave her a wry smile. “I know I did. I had a dad, but he was such a mean old bastard that I used to daydream about having a dad who loved me.”
Everly stared at him, still seemingly lost for words.
He sighed. “If it’s still too soon, I understand. The two of you have been your own little family unit for a long time. I don’t want to force my way into that. What I will say is that when you’re ready, that’s what I want. I want to be your man, and I want to be his dad.”
She met his gaze. “My man?”
He laughed. “Well, fuck! It’s all coming out tonight, isn’t it? I was trying to be more careful with my words than Ashton was with his. If you want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, what I want, if you’ll consider it, is to be your husband. I want to marry you, darlin’ – make you my wife, and adopt Ashton so that he’s my son on paper. I know it’s too soon, but since I’m going all the way in, I might as well tell you, that in my heart, he already is.”
It was only when he stopped talking that he realized tears were rolling down her cheeks. “Shit! I’m sorry.”
She shook her head rapidly. “Don’t you dare apologize now!” she sputtered through her tears.
He swiped his thumbs under her eyes and kissed the tip of her nose. “I wasn’t apologizing for telling you the truth, only for saying it too soon.”
“It’s soon but it’s not too soon. It’ll just take me some time to get used to it.”
“Take all the time you need, darlin’. I’m going nowhere. Well, I’m going back to the ranch, just as soon you say you’re ready to come with me.”
She sucked in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “After all that? After what you just said? How could I not be ready? Just one more question, though, Tanner.”
“Ask me anything you want – and it doesn’t have to be the last question, you keep asking until you’re sure.”
“ Is it too fast? Are we crazy?”
He chuckled. “Crazy? Maybe. I can tell you that I’m crazy about you. No doubt about that. And sure, it’s fast. But can you honestly say that it’d be better if we spent six months, or years, or more, living a thousand miles apart, trying to figure out how we’d do if we were together? I give you my word, if this goes south, I’ll do everything I can – as much as you’ll let me – to still be part of Ashton’s life, and to make sure that the two of you are taken care of.”
She reached up to touch his cheek. “You don’t think that you’ll miss your old life? All the women?”
“I know damn well that I won’t.” His smile faded. “Is that a black mark against me? The way I used to be?”
She shook her head slowly. “I don’t think so.”
“I promise you that those days are behind me. And if anything, it might be a positive that I was the way I was.”
She raised her eyebrows and smiled. “Yeah? How are you going to spin it?”
He pressed a kiss to her lips. “It’s not a spin, darlin’. I’m dead serious. I played that game for so long that I know I’m well and truly done with it and won’t ever want to go back to it. You and Ash are my world now – I want to be part of your world.”
He watched her face as she considered his words. He wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t believe him. He hadn’t hidden who he used to be, but even before he met her, he’d known he didn’t want that kind of life to be his future. What he hadn’t known was just how hard and fast he would fall for her and her son.
Her eyes swam with tears as she looked up at him. “You already are a part of our world. You’re fast becoming a central part of it – and I won’t lie, that makes me nervous and happy all at the same time.”
“I won’t let you down, I promise. Trusting that it’s for real will take time, I get that.” He smiled. “And you know it makes sense that we should spend that time together.”