45. Reese
45
REESE
The golden hour is quite lovely to witness in Dane’s room, as it has been for the entire week. Curled into a ball, I watch the sunset and draw comfort in the steady thrum of his heartbeat. At my side, my boyfriend provides me with the warm shelter of his embrace. At my feet, the cat sleeps contently.
Today marks the first day I’ve gone without crying. If I can manage more than two hours of uninterrupted sleep tonight, it’ll be a welcome reprieve.
A shuddering breath works through me, and I squeeze my eyes shut when the mattress dips. Dane gently murmurs something against the crown of my head I can’t discern. Soon, a reusable bottle nudges the palm of my hand.
Reluctantly, I sit up, and Onion Rings mewls in protest at the sudden movement. After draining half the water, I give Dane a sideways glance and swallow hard at the sight of discolored bruises spread across his profile.
“Hey, hey,” he whispers and slowly slides his thumb under my chin. “I thought chicks dig scars.”
Despite my misgivings, I snort. “I don’t like seeing you hurt.”
He huffs, offering me an imperceptible smirk. “This? It’s nothing.”
My gaze diverts to his jaw, where yellow edges the ghastly black-and-blue splotch, and my heart plummets as everything sinks in. “Did they really take all the cars?”
His eyes harden like flint. “I’ll get your Nova back.”
“What about your cars?”
“I’ll get them back, too.” His words are twice as firm and determined. I’m about to protest when my focus snags on the bruise beneath his eye, and my breath leaves me. “I’ll never forgive myself?—”
“If you don’t get your cars back?”
“That they targeted you because of me,” he says, then works the muscles of his jaw with a deep sigh.
“It’s not your fault.”
“They knew you’re my weakness.”
“I’m your weakness?” I echo. “Like kryptonite?”
“Like the girl I love.”
Flutters ignite in my stomach instantaneously. The edges of my lips tilt up, and soft laughter tumbles out of me when he grins something so love-drunk in response. “I love you too.”
His gaze gentles, and then he breaks into a devastating smile while I reach over and trace a heart over his chest. Slowly, he guides me back into his arms and pulls me close. It takes a few moments for the tension to leave my shoulders, but I melt completely into his embrace when he kisses my hairline.
“I love you so much,” I mumble. “So, so much.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” he teases. “I know you’re all in with me.”
“I was so relieved when I realized it was you.” My fingers bunch the material of his shirt. “When I realized you were rescuing me.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
A protesting hum sounds from my throat, and I shake my head. He did so much for me. He called his dad for help. He called his dad for me . Someone he has a strained relationship with. Someone I know he doesn’t want to interact with if given a choice.
“You got me out of there. Alive .” Hot tears spring into my eyes. “I was so scared. I thought I wasn’t going to survive. All I could think about was that I was living on borrowed time since the night I nearly died on my bedroom floor.”
“Oh, baby,” he whispers, and his hand is slow as it goes up the line of my back. “That’s not true.”
“I thought I was going to die with my sister thinking I was mad at her.” My rasp roughens my voice, and my vision blurs over with tears. “I thought I’d never see you again.”
“Did they hurt you?” His tone is so gentle, but such a juxtaposition to the raw fury pouring off his body. There’s tension in his every muscle despite him tenderly stroking the curve of my spine.
My head shakes. “Just my wrists and ankles. They might have been extra rough with me because I tried to pepper spray them.” Without warning, my brain sprints back to that night—to the terrifying feeling of being grabbed from behind—and my lungs constrict.
With a rough swallow, I draw in a deep breath and try to anchor myself. I’m in Dane’s room. The door is locked. No one can get in . He will protect me .
“You used mace on them?” His other hand gently circles my wrist, his thumb caressing the faint line marring the skin.
“It… didn’t seem to work. It might have been expired or something. Lilian got it for me two years ago, so it probably did.” Frustration and dread form a pit in my stomach, but Dane gives me a comforting squeeze before I can spiral. “I didn’t realize the can could still feel full of liquid and no longer work. It was the only thing that made me feel safe, and they took it from me…”
“I’ll get you a new one,” he says. “And I’m going to hurt him for doing this to you.”
“Dane.”
“I will.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt,” I say softly.
“I won’t let him get away with it. I don’t like people fucking with what’s mine.”
“ Dane ,” I repeat, and he releases a gruff sigh. “Do you want to talk about your dad?” I simply don’t want to hear him talk about fighting people anymore. “Or maybe your brothers?”
His stepmom showed me pictures of his half-brothers while she kept me company at the police station. Not only that, she had so many kind words to say about Dane. And countless photos of him saved on her phone.
She also gave me a card for the women’s shelter she’s on retainer for and told me about their trauma hotline, which was really nice of her. I’m pretty sure she’s been dropping by every evening with homemade bread and soup, too.
“They play hockey,” he mutters, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Like you did?”
“Yeah, I guess.” He falls silent for a couple of beats. “I love my mom.”
“I know you do.” My hand slips into his, and I offer him a reassuring smile.
He lets out a defeated sigh. “I don’t want my memories of her to be tainted.”
I shift closer, only to stifle my laughter when Onion Rings meows his grievances about the sudden movement. Finding Dane’s gaze, I cup his face and run my thumb along the edge of a fading bruise. “You can love someone without putting them on a pedestal. I love my sister, but I also recognize all of her messy faults. She’s loyal and fierce, but she’s also pushy and hotheaded. She hurt me with what she did, but at the end of the day, I still love her and care about her.”
His throat works as he peers steadily into my eyes. His thoughtful frown gives way to a clash of something vulnerable and guarded, and I can feel my heart fracturing into tiny pieces.
“They said a drunk driver was behind the accident, and I know the other guy was hammered that night, but I never realized my mom…” The despair in his voice is hard to miss. “My father never said anything. He just let me assume that someone else was the reason why she was gone.”
“Maybe he was trying to protect you?” I suggest. “How old were you?”
“Nine.” His Adam’s apple bobs. “I just remember her being so happy and vibrant. It’s my last memory of her. She was singing along to the radio—some Christmas song, I think. Then I woke up in a hospital, and they told me it was a T-bone collision, that my mom didn’t make it, and that I was lucky to have gotten out of there alive with only my arm and leg broken.”
With a sharp exhalation, I squeeze his fingers. “Was this why you stopped playing hockey?”
“Kind of.” A bitter chuckle slides free. “After I got better, I was pissed that my father wanted to show up to my games for once. It was my thing with Mom. I didn’t want him to replace her, so I quit. It’s so fucking stupid, in hindsight. I always wanted him to show up to my games, and when he finally did?”
“You were just a kid,” I murmur, and he scoffs and shakes his head.
Consternation steals across his expression, and his eyes become lost in thought. Every part of me wants to smooth away the small divot forming between his dark brows and take away his hurt. Do everything I can so he’s able to smile widely again as if he doesn’t carry the weight of the world on his shoulder.
“I felt so alone when my mom died. Like I was drowning. I was so lost. He married my stepmom a year after my mom passed away, and then they started having kids. It felt like he replaced me; it stung like hell to see him be a dad to them when he never once did any of that with me. It hurt to see him take time off of work to go to school events for them. Go camping with them. Do all this shit he never did with me.”
“He never took you with them?”
“They always made me tag along. For every trip they planned. I always felt like an outsider. An interloper. The ugly reminder that he was married before.”
“ Dane —”
“Save your tears, Reese’s Pieces,” he mutters. “I don’t want you to feel bad for me.”
My heart clenches tight. “Do you want a relationship with him? You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I tack on quickly. I don’t want him to feel pressured into doing something he doesn’t want to do. I already know how sucky that is. “I’m never going to talk to my mom again, and that won’t ever change. We’re not obligated to maintain a relationship with someone just because we share DNA with them. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll support you.”
The corner of his mouth lifts. “Even if I decide to be an asshole?”
“Only you know what’s best for yourself.”
His features soften with this look of such sweet longing. “You know what’s best for me right now?”
“Hmm?”
“You.”
I snort. A tiny smile touches my lips when he wraps his arms around me and holds me close to his chest. Pressing my ear to his heart, I listen to the steady beat. My nerves subside as a wave of calm and security washes over me.
“If things go south—”
“You’ll be my getaway car,” I finish. “I think we’ve had this conversation before.”
With a lopsided grin, he cranes his neck down and lifts a brow when I spare him a slightly impish beam in response. My feet remain flat on the ground, and within a pulse, a giggle bursts from me as he loops his arms around my waist and hoists me into the air.
The front door coasts open before I can kiss him, and I’m carefully set down the instant my gaze collides with my sister’s. Her amber eyes glisten with tears, and mine prickle straight away.
Dane presses his lips to my hairline. “Text me if you need me.”
I will , I mouth to him, biting back a smile when he traces a heart over his heart. Then I reluctantly wave goodbye before I enter the sorority house. Grabbing Lilian’s wrist, I kick the door shut before my sister can continue glaring at my boyfriend with a look of contempt she doesn’t bother hiding.
We’re barely halfway across the living room when I’m tackled with a bear hug.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” my sister sobs into my hair. “I’m so fucking glad.”
“Can’t. Breathe,” I wheeze, gulping a lungful of air while she loosens her grasp. I peek up and nearly flinch when I see how bloodshot her eyes are and notice the prominent bags underneath.
“Please forgive me,” she whispers. “We never should have paid Caleb to go out with you.”
Heat blazes across my face. I don’t think there’ll ever be a moment where I’ll not become embarrassed whenever the Caleb situation gets brought up.
“You shouldn’t have,” I agree. “That was a terrible thing to do.”
“I know.” Remorse flickers across her features. “We weren’t doing it as a prank. We just wanted you to feel better about yourself.”
“Yeah, that’s what everybody said,” I say, crossing my arms. “But I didn’t feel better about myself at all when I found out the truth.”
She winces. “I’m so sorry. For everything. We never wanted you to get hurt—Swear to God. We even had a plan where Caleb would break up with you because he was too busy to date you just to soften the blow.”
“That’s how he was going to dump me?” I lift a brow. “ Wow .”
“It was a work in progress,” she grumbles. “We just wanted to boost your confidence. Make you feel better about yourself. You were struggling after what happened—” Her eyes go round when her focus lands on my scar. “You’re not… hiding it.”
I glance down at my striped top, and a wry smile slowly stretches across my lips. “It’s hot today. I didn’t want to get sweaty.” I pause. “We’re in Southern California, not Vermont.”
“We’re not,” she agrees, her voice rougher than usual.
I allow myself a quiet intake of breath, then bite my lip. “Did you truly believe I couldn’t get a guy on my own? Or that I needed a guy to feel better about myself?”
“ No ,” she gasps. “It was never like that. He was supposed to be a fun distraction. Someone to help you out of your shell. We thought it was a good idea at the time… but it clearly wasn’t.”
“It definitely wasn’t.”
“Don’t blame Caleb for this,” she continues. “He didn’t want to be part of this—He was just a guy you liked?—”
“Just because I liked him didn’t mean you guys should go to extremes and force him to go out with me,” I cut in. “I know you guys meant well, but I didn’t need this at all. If I had known all along he wasn’t into me, it would’ve saved Dane and me so much time and heartache wondering why nothing was happening with Caleb.”
“Dane and you?” she repeats, arching a brow, and my cheeks scald with heat. I’m not going to tell her that my boyfriend tried to help me seduce a guy who was paid to go out with me. I don’t think anyone in their right mind would ever utter a sentence like that out loud. Not even a CIA agent will get this confession out of me.
“I will leave if you insult my boyfriend,” I warn her. “He literally?—”
“Broke Travis’ arm in self-defense.”
“—saved me…” Shocked, my words taper off. “That’s also true.”
“Caleb told me earlier this week,” she quietly admits. “Travis and his brothers found out who his mom was and about the money she left him.”
My brow lifts. Caleb texted me a few days ago and told me how Travis had his friends rough him up a little, so it looked like Dane caused more damage during their fight, but I didn’t realize he filled my sister in as well. Honestly, I was under the impression that Caleb still wasn’t talking to her, given everything she put him through.
“I dumped him, by the way,” she continues with a weary sigh. “I should have listened to you.”
“You didn’t, though.” Emotions scathe my throat as I gawk at her. “You listened to Caleb, but not me? Seriously? He’s just some guy. I’m your sister. I told you everything about Travis and what he did to Dane, and you never believed me once. But the second Caleb tells you the same thing, you just accepted it without a second thought?”
To her credit, she winces. “Reese, you tend to see the best in everybody. I know I haven’t been Dane’s biggest fan?—”
I huff out a snort and fold my arms across my chest.
“But, Reese,” she goes on, “he’s always been such a massive asshole”—she holds up a finger when I glower—“and I was afraid you’d get hurt again because of him.”
“He’s not an asshole,” I hiss. “And he’d never hurt me.”
“You weren’t there my freshman year,” she reminds me. “He was always rude to everybody.”
“He’s—” I pause. She kind of has a point. I’ve seen him glare at people far too many times. “Okay, he’s sweet once you get to know him. He’s very sweet to me. I know he would never hurt me. I need you to trust me when I say that. I can’t have you trying to control every aspect of my life.”
“You don’t understand how terrified I am of losing you,” she rasps as tears start to shine in her eyes. “I don’t want anything to happen to you. When I got the call from our neighbor that you were at the hospital? I was petrified you were going to die while I was stuck here, hundreds of miles away?—”
“Lili.” My word catches in my throat, and without a second thought, I pull her into my arms.
“I’m supposed to look out for you,” she sobs into my hair. “And I couldn’t?—”
“It’s not your responsibility to look out for me,” I protest. “Lili, you’re not my mom. You’re my sister. You don’t need to go overboard with it.”
“I’ll try, but I can’t help it. Someone has to—” She breaks off as she clings to me. “I don’t want anything to happen to you. I’m so afraid of losing you. When I found out you were snatched? Reese, it felt like my world ended.”
My chest goes painfully tight. While we were still at the station, Dane’s stepmom messaged her that I was okay on my behalf, which set off a flurry of panic texts from her.
I don’t have my phone. They took it along with my can of mace and backpack. For the past two weeks, I’ve been texting her with Dane’s cell to reassure her I’m all right until my replacement comes in the mail tomorrow.
“I’m sorry for scaring you like that.”
“You have nothing to apologize for,” she protests. “How are you so calm about it?”
“I’m not calm about it,” I admit, swallowing past the lump forming in my throat. “This house is one of the few safe places left. I can’t sleep without the light on. I need to triple-check the doors. I panic if anyone walks behind me.” My voice fades. “Belford used to be one of my safe places, and now I’m terrified of going back to school… and having to walk by where it happened.”
Lilian inhales sharply. “I can walk you to your classes if you need me to.”
“We can, too.” I jolt and peel away from my sister to spot the sorority girls crowding the stairs. I nearly squeak in horror as my shyness grips me.
“It’s the least we could do,” Peyton adds, and the other girls nod in agreement.
“If you give us your schedule,” Jenna adds, “we can work something out, so one of us is available to walk you to all of your classes.”
“And I know they offer self-defense classes at my gym,” Karla states. “If it’s something you want to consider. I’ll go with you if you want.”
“Me too!” Chrissy chimes in. “I’ve always wanted to take some courses.”
“Or it can be something we can do together,” Lilian suggests softly, and I’m so overwhelmed.
A whirlwind of emotions takes hold in my chest. I glance at them for a drawn-out beat, then reroute my attention to my sister.
Even though the whole Caleb ordeal is wrong, these girls have always been nice to me. They organized a bunch of fundraisers for me the moment they heard about my attack back home without Lilian ever asking them to. They have been super welcoming to me and would always leave nice and encouraging comments on photos I’d post online. They’ve never peer-pressured me into partying with them.
None of them are malicious types. I know that. Maybe that’s why forgiving them for the whole paying Caleb to go out with me ordeal doesn’t seem so hard to do.
Their intent was pure. Extremely misguided and so, so wrong, but pure.
So what if I’m too softhearted as my boyfriend and sister have always pointed out? I don’t want to hold on to my anger any longer. Not when the whole being abducted and thinking you’re actually going to die this time puts things into perspective. While their ill-conceived idea hurt me, it pales in comparison to everything else I’ve endured.
“Will you stay the night?” Lilian asks. “I miss you.”
“Would you be okay with keeping the lights on?”
“Of course.” She sniffles while she pulls away from me. “We can watch movies—” A frown crosses her face when I snicker. “What’s so funny?”
“Dane and I have done nothing but watch a bunch of films,” I admit, biting my bottom lip. “I’m honestly sick of them.”
She lets out a theatrical gasp, and I wrinkle my nose.
“I don’t mind just catching up with you,” I continue, then pause, considering. “It’s been a while since we’ve hung out.”
“It has, hasn’t it?” Her eyes glisten as they search my face, hesitating for a contemplative moment. “Are we good?”
Something reassuring and hopeful unfurls in my chest while I spare her a gentle smile. “We will be.”