Chapter 22 Faina #2
But the utter distress in Cian’s eyes breaks my heart and I have the chance to save him. At the expense of my own morals? It’s hardly a choice. Plus, if I get him out of here then there’s a chance I can help him get a clean getaway from Interpol and Hawk.
“I’ll do it,” I say as Richard’s mouth opens, likely with another threat. “But on one condition.”
“You’re hardly in a position to be adding conditions.” Richard snorts.
I glare at him briefly. “So no deal.”
“Fine, what’s your condition?”
“Cian comes with me.”
“Cian will be released once you bring me Hawk.”
“No,” I growl. “Either we go together or I don’t go at all.” Staring Richard down, I pour every ounce of anger and hatred into the look. The shock of pregnancy pales in comparison to the burning desire to make sure Cian’s okay, and there’s no way in hell I’m leaving him here.
Richard seems to be debating with himself until finally, he nods with an irritable sigh. “Fine. But you’re telling him.”
Being free from the cuffs is a small relief as the door is opened and I’m shoved into the room with Cian. He doesn’t see me at first, too focused on his counting as he walks away from me.
But then he turns.
Our eyes lock and his entire expression explodes into one of shock and relief. “Faina!”
“Hey, Cian.”
He launches himself at me and for a moment, I soak up the immense relief to be back in his warm arms and breathe in his comforting, familiar scent. My hands fist into his shirt and I bury my face into his neck and he holds me tightly.
“Fucking hell, I thought you were dead! I thought they killed you!”
“I’m okay,” I assure him, my words muffled. “It was a rubber bullet so I’m just bruised. But you…” Leaning back, I cup his face and battle the sting of tears as I study his scratched neck. “What happened?”
“It—” He cuts himself off and his expression crumples.
“I was by myself. Just myself. For so long. I don’t even—” Shaking his head, he pulls me back into his arms and groans softly, almost kissing me but hesitating as if he realizes we’re still under observation.
“What’s happening? Are you okay? Did they hurt you? ”
His concern is so heartwarmingly genuine and I have to break his heart by telling him the truth of my past. But it will be worth it.
We break apart and I gaze into his eyes, soaking up the warmth and affection I see there while I guide him to one of the metal chairs next to the table and sit with him. “I have something to tell you. And I need you to listen to me.”
His eyes narrow and his hand covers mine on the table as we sit. “What’s going on? Where even are we?”
My gut twists. They really told him nothing. It strengthens my resolve to get him out of here but deepens the pain that I’m going to lose him in the process. Not even news of my pregnancy will keep love in those eyes.
“We’re in a police station not far from the bay, but we were arrested by Interpol.”
Cian’s eyes widen. “Interpol? What… what the fuck?”
“I know, right? It turns out when I was looking into Hawk and his tattoo, I tripped into their own investigation and they came at us for the hotel explosion. They’re going to pin it on us unless we help them.”
“Fuck that.” Cian snorts and he leans closer, threading our fingers together. “There has to be another way.”
“Cian…” My heart begins to pound painfully. “I have to tell you the truth.”
The concern in his eyes suddenly becomes caged and he leans back a fraction. “Faina…”
“My father was Interpol. He was a spy for the Russians and for a time, I was too. As a child and a teenager, I worked for them. I turned my back on them when he died and Anastasia promoted me and I swear my loyalty is with her and only her, but these people, they know me. They know my father and what he did.”
Cian slowly leans back further and confusion weighs down his brow. “You… you’re a cop?”
“No, I was but I’m not anymore, and it’s more like I was forced into it by my father, but I’m not a cop.”
“I don’t understand.” His hand grows cold over mine.
“They’re offering us a deal, Cian. If we work for them and track down Hawk for them, they’ll let us go.”
“Bullshit,” Cian snaps immediately. “I’m not a fucking pig. I’m not working for any kind of cop.”
“Cian! You don’t have a choice, okay? I’m taking the deal and you have to as well.”
“What?” His eyes widen and he drags his hand away from mine, leaving my fingers aching for his warmth. “You said you were forced to work for them.”
“I was.”
“Then why the fuck would you go back?”
“Because it’s our only way out of here, Cian.”
“Wait… were you working for Interpol when we first…?”
“No, I wasn’t.”
“But you were up until your father died… Faina, you were a fucking spy? Did you ever tell them information about my family?”
My pounding heart sinks like a rock into my gut. “It’s possible. Back then, I was just trying to survive and I… listen, it doesn’t matter, okay?”
“Of course it fucking matters. It’s never a good idea to shack up with the cops. Never! I’m not a fucking rat, okay?”
“You’re not ratting anyone out!” I cry. “No one will even care anyway and—”
The words slip out before I can stop them and Cian’s expression hardens. “Why? Because I’ve got no fucking family left?”
“I-I didn’t mean it like that, I just mean those who will know will understand that we’re trying to survive.”
“That’s what rats say,” he snarls. “They claim they have no other choice but there’s always a choice.”
“And what’s ours? To stay here and rot while Hawk gets away with everything? Hunting him for us or for them, what’s the difference? Only one of those choices gets us out of here. Please, Cian. Trust me. If we work together, then we can get out of here.”
“And live the rest of my life on a fucking leash? You might be okay with that, old habits, I guess. But I’m not. I’m not going to turn against everything I know, especially in pursuit of that fucking bastard.”
“You have to, Cian! Else they’ll lock you up here in a cell and you’ll never get out, do you hear me? You’ll never be free ever again. This way, we get to leave together and we can find Hawk and—”
“And what? Arrest him?” Cian snarls. “Because that’s where this path leads. That’s not revenge! Not what we agreed to!”
He looks at me like I’m a traitor and nausea churns in my gut. “It’s freedom.”
“No,” Cian mutters as he slumps back in his chair. “It’s just another prison.”
“We don’t have a choice,” I say, fighting to remain calm.
“And Anastasia? Everyone else? Do they know?”
“No one knows,” she murmurs. “It’s not exactly a past I advertise. Do you think she would have me as her Underboss if she knew?”
Cian rolls his eyes and his jaw tightens. “I don’t even know you, do I?”
“You do.”
“No. All I see is someone who's holding my freedom over me like a fucking threat. Just like they are.”
God, I want to throw myself at his feet and beg for him to understand but I can see it in his eyes.
All he sees is a cop who managed to get under his skin, who he shared secrets and intimacy with.
Someone who holds power over him now because any of those secrets could put him in prison.
I never would, but it’s clear he doesn’t trust me anymore.
“You’re angry,” I murmur. “I lied to you. I understand. But please believe me that this is how we survive.”
He finally looks at me and the pain in his eyes is suffocating. “You’re not the woman I fell in love with, are you? You’re just a bunch of lies and tricks wrapped up in a pretty smile.”
My heart breaks into a thousand pieces and I swallow hard around a rising lump in my throat. “Maybe,” I reply while wrestling those emotions down. “But I’m also the woman saving your life.”
“Saving?” He scoffs darkly. “Four walls in here or a leash out there. I see no saving.”