Chapter 37 #2
Tears come in waves and I drown in Saoirse’s hug for so long that my back aches and my throat is raw by the time she pulls away, but then Cormac is there, drawing me up into a smothering hug.
My ribs creak and my body complains, but I soak it all up.
He’s still insanely strong even with one arm.
Another wave of tears and then a sudden cold silence as a thought strikes me and I jerk back.
“What about Ma?”
“She’s in Scotland,” Saoirse assures me quickly.
“Rocky snuck her out of the country. She’s safe.
He’s on his way to get her, which is why he isn’t here.
The ranch is gone. Hawk burned it to the ground, but Bruno has been searching for the horses that were set loose.
We’ll have to rebuild and we will, so don’t worry. ”
“Shit,” I gasp, trying to wipe my tears. “I checked the safehouses after you guys died, but when I didn’t find her, I had to assume she was dead too, but I put it out of my mind so quickly.”
“I don’t blame you,” Cormac says. “This might just be the hardest shit we’ve ever had to do.”
“But you did it,” Anastasia says, seated next to Erik. “Somehow… somehow, we made it.”
It’s painfully difficult to maintain my composure while surrounded by my siblings.
It's surreal to see their faces and watch them talk as they fill me in on small details of how they’ve been living.
Evelyn hugs me tightly and promises she’s been keeping the kids entertained with tales of my exploits so they all knew Uncle Cian was coming back.
That makes my heart hurt even more and the pain doesn’t settle until another round of hugs.
Cormac shows off the scar at the end of his stump and talks about a tattoo he plans to get, while Saoirse says she’s digging the shorter hair but can’t wait for it to grow longer and hide the scars.
My family is here.
Hawk will be turning in his grave where he belongs.
But there’s someone missing.
“Where’s Faina?” I ask Anastasia once I’m satisfied that my siblings are real and this isn’t some painful hallucination.
“Kitchen. Marcus, can you take him?”
The guard lingering by the door nods and motions for me to follow with one hand.
Out in the hallway, I breathe deeply and attempt to dry my eyes while I’m led through a small corridor and into a small black and cherry red kitchen.
Faina stands by the sink, staring out the window while absently drying a glass that looks like it was dry hours ago.
“Faina?”
She jumps and the glass slips, but she catches it just as quickly, then she turns to face me and her face lights up despite the uncertainty in her eyes. “Cian.”
A hundred things rush through my mind. A hundred things to say and yet none of them come. How can I explain anything when it feels like my entire world has been tipped upside down again?
And yet, being with her immediately feels like coming home. Walking closer to her increases that feeling of peace in my chest.
“I’m sorry,” Faina says.
“I’m sorry,” I say at the same time. There’s a slight pause and then we both laugh.
“How are you?” she asks.
“I feel like I’ve been carved up again,” I admit. “But it’s not so bad this time. Unless I’m dead and this is some weird mix of the afterlife, then I really need to evaluate why I’d envision my brother with only one arm.”
“Sibling rivalry?” she jokes softly.
“Maybe. I’m sorry I didn’t pick up the phone.”
“I’m a little mad,” Faina admits. “But I understand. Being back in the city after all of that must have felt terrible, and then I walked in here and saw Cormac. I slapped the shit out of him before I learned the truth. And then I called but…” Trailing off, her smile softens. “I’m glad you came.”
“Me too.” Our eyes meet and something warm bubbles in my chest. A comforting urge to say one thing that I’d only lightly entertained until now. It’s not exactly the setting for it but the words come out before I can stop them.
“Marry me.”
“I’m pregnant.”
We talk over one another again, then freeze as our respective revelations sink in.
“What?” we say in unison.
“You want me to marry you?”
“You’re pregnant?”
Another beat of silence and we laugh, then Faina takes my hand and discards the dish towel. She leads me to the small dining table in the corner of the room and sits me down while my head spins, trying to connect what she said to the question I asked.
“I’m pregnant,” Faina says quietly as she sits in front of me. “It’s definitely yours. I’m a few months along. I found out when we were arrested at Interpol after I was shot.”
My eyes drop to her shoulder and I wince at the memory. Twice now, she’s taken a bullet for me.
“I was going to tell you but you were so angry with me, and then Hawk was more important and I didn’t want him to somehow find out and use it against us.
And then I was scared that the fighting and the stress might have harmed it so I was going to tell you when we came back to the city and I could get a check-up.
But then you didn’t return my calls so I…
I couldn’t. And now with your siblings…” She shakes her slightly. “Are you mad?”
Pregnant.
Faina is carrying my baby?
She’s right. Had she told me sooner, I would have called off the hunt for Hawk and sent her home. My eyes slide down to her stomach and she moves one hand over her navel. “A baby,” I murmur.
Faina remains silent.
“No,” I reply suddenly. “I’m not mad, I’m…”
How do I feel? Warmth and excitement spiral through my chest as tingling rushes across my shoulders and down my arms. We hadn’t discussed anything like this before, but it must be fate.
Faina reached me when I was at my lowest, she gave me hope again and brought love back into my heart when I was sure I was dark.
Is there anything more romantic than raising a child with her after that?
“You’re…?” Faina prompts gently.
“I’m amazed. Is everything okay with you and the baby?”
“Yes. Perfect health.”
“Do you want the baby?” I ask cautiously, trying to manage my growing excitement.”
“Yes.” She looks slightly fearful, and it’s like a balloon is swelling inside me with how overwhelmed I suddenly become with excitement.
“Then we’re having a baby! Oh my God!” Surging upward, I cup Faina’s beautiful face with my hands and kiss her hard.
Her warm hands cradle the sides of my neck but before I can deepen the kiss to truly show her how excited I am, she pushes me away and squints up at me. “You asked me to marry you.”
“Oh… yeah.” Smiling warmly, I retake my seat after dragging it closer to her.
“When I walked in here and saw you, I suddenly understood part of what I’ve been feeling for you.
Other than utter lust for you, I realized I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I have for a while, I think. I just couldn’t put it into words because we were running for our lives.
But here and now? With some peace and a moment to catch our breaths? I knew.”
“And the baby?” She glances down at herself and caresses her belly. “That doesn’t change anything for you?”
I cradle her face in my hands and gently look her in the eyes. “Marry me,” I say firmly. “Be with me. I love you, Faina. No more wasting time, no more secrets. Marry me and let's be a family together. I don’t want to live in a world without the people I love by my side ever again. Marry me.”
Tears fill her eyes and she laughs softly, shaking her head. Then she leans in for a salty, damp kiss as she laughs again.
“Yes, Cian. Yes, I’ll marry you.”