Šipan
Ana called down the stairs to Lloyd as he stashed the last of the books.
“Fancy a walk? It’ll distract Obi until Natali’s ferry gets in.
” The dog had spent all afternoon sitting on the transom, staring in the direction of the short concrete quay a couple of hundred metres away.
She knew where her mistress had gone all right, and for a moment Ana wondered if she could even be persuaded to leave the boat.
But with her lead attached to her collar, Obi shook out her ears and didn’t object when Ana picked her up to carry her onto the harbourside. After a baleful glance towards the empty space where no doubt she thought the ferry should be, she turned and trotted after them.
“So tell me about Victory Day,” Lloyd said.
“I guess for a lot of families it isn’t a big deal.
It’s in the middle of the tourist season and most people around here are too busy to treat it as a proper holiday, but it always meant so much to Grandad that we’ve carried on celebrating it.
As well as marking victory in the Homeland War, it’s also the official day to remember Croatian Defenders.
My grandfather was a defender, and he lost some of his friends in the conflict.
“In the morning he’d always watch the memorial service at Knin on the television on his own, then he’d come to our house and Mama would cook a special lunch for all the family.
Over the years it grew into quite the party, with neighbours and friends invited too, so when Dida died we decided to carry on in his memory. ”
“It must be a very special day for you.”
“It is. He was my inspiration in so many ways.”
They had reached the point where the path split away from the road, so Ana went ahead, the sea rippling turquoise and silver below them through the pines. Obi slowed, sniffing around the patches of wild rosemary, her movement releasing their pungent aroma into the still summer air.
Ana looked over her shoulder at Lloyd, who was walking behind her on the narrow track. “My friend Meri will be joining us for the party. She’ll be staying on the boat.”
“I guess you’ll be needing me to stack the book boxes better. The way things are in the spare cabin, she’ll struggle to get to the bed.”
“If it’s too much trouble she can always share with me.”
“Won’t that be rather cramped?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve bunked up after a party. At least she doesn’t snore.”
Ana had her fingers crossed that Meri would actually be there.
Zac and Tomi were talking about going to Tomi’s family in Zadar for the holiday weekend and if that happened – which was a big if, given how up and down things were with Tomi’s coke habit – getting away herself would give Meri some much needed downtime.
Reaching the small beach and led by Obi, they scrambled down the bank, dislodging dust and pebbles as they went.
Ra? hadn’t been here this morning when she’d come swimming, but with his daughter staying she hadn’t really expected it.
Since Manda had arrived, his messages had become nightly, rather than daily, and the tone had subtly changed – less banter about grapes, more personal messages sharing tiny snippets of his day and asking about hers.
But what did it mean? If, in fact, it meant anything at all.
Lloyd interrupted her thoughts. “It will be good to meet Meri at last.”
“She’s a very special person, the most important in my life after my parents.
We clicked from the moment we met, years ago.
We’re there for each other, but we don’t cramp each other’s style.
However close we are, I understand completely that her son comes first, just like she understands how much I need my freedom. ”
“That’s an interesting phrase to use.”
“In what way?”
“That you need your freedom. Not that you like it, or you want it, but that you need it. Is that the key to those big decisions Ana Me?trovi?? To what you want from life?”
Freedom? Freedom to do … what, exactly? To spend as much time as she wanted on Dida Krila?
To not be tied down? Ana released Obi from her lead to run around the enclosed space, kicked off her flip-flops and walked to the water’s edge, allowing the gentle waves to kiss her toes.
Lloyd did not follow, and she was grateful.
Freedom was important, but so was doing the right thing to make those you loved happy.
Ra? had told her about the terrible cost to his family of his choices, and it weighed heavily on her shoulders that she could so very easily hurt hers.
Her rejection of motherhood would be bad enough, but if she rejected the business as well…
Would that feel like a rejection of Mama and Tata themselves?
When she’d gone home when Dida fell ill, she’d had every intention of settling down to work in the oyster business, and her parents had been so damned happy.
But when Dida had died and left her his money, instead of really giving the business a proper go, she’d bought the catamaran and that had changed everything.
It had given her that precious freedom, the freedom of the seas that her grandfather had craved until his very last days.
But her father had quickly worked out a way that Dida Krila could be part of the business.
He clearly thought her boat was a temporary aberration, no more than a hiccup in his plans.
But he was wrong. Freedom was everything.
All she wanted. She checked herself; no, it was what she needed. Lloyd was right.
She closed her eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath.
Didn’t her parents deserve something from her too?
Didn’t she owe them another try, to reward their patience, and all the financial support they’d given her when Dida was ill?
And to maybe compensate them a little because they would never be grandparents?
She thought of Ra?, and his sorrow over how he’d let his daughter down.
She would struggle to live with that sort of guilt if she shattered her family’s dreams. But what about her own?
With a start she noticed the ferry had appeared from nowhere and was approaching the headland. Calling to Obi, she stuffed her feet into her flip-flops, then linked her arm through Lloyd’s.
“We’d best go meet Natali. If we’re not there when the ferry comes in, this little scrap will never forgive us.”
* * *
Even before Ana actually saw Natali emerge from the dark hold of the ferry, Obi let out a series of sharp barks and dashed forwards, almost choking on her lead.
Ana scooped her up out of harm’s way as the cars began to move off, filling the air with their fumes.
But still the little dog wriggled and fussed and yelped as though Natali had abandoned her for a fortnight rather than a couple of hours.
“Shh…” Ana told her, burying her face in her fur. “She won’t be a minute.” And sure enough, seconds later Natali was beside them, ruffling Obi’s ears as the dog tried to leap from Ana’s arms.
“I’ve never seen her so excited,” Ana said, laughing and handing her over.
“She’s missed me as much as I’ve missed her. Has she been good?”
“Up until now.”
Lloyd led them from the quay. “How was Baka?” he asked.
Natali screwed up her face. “It’s hard to tell. She was asleep most of the time. Her son says she’s confused when she wakes, but she didn’t seem too bad to me. He thought she wouldn’t know me, but she must have done because she asked about Obi.”
Lloyd laughed. “Everyone’s favourite dog.”
“Do they think she’ll make a full recovery?”
“It’s early days, but they want to move her to a rehab facility as soon as they can. Her face looks droopy on one side and her speech is a bit slurred, although you can understand her if you concentrate. But Mateo told me her left arm is almost completely useless at the moment.”
“I suppose it could have been worse,” Ana said.
Natali nodded, but she didn’t look convinced.
“What is it?” Lloyd asked, putting an arm around her shoulder.
“Mateo wants her to live with him in Split, but I don’t think she’ll want to go because of Valentin. Even in the hospital she’s asking for him.”
“If her rehab goes well, perhaps he’ll change his mind.”
“He was very decided. I think he’s that sort of man. He knows what’s best. Or at least, he believes he does. I realise it’s not my business, but I don’t want her to be unhappy.”
Lloyd gave her a squeeze. “Of course you don’t, but it’s far too soon to worry about it. Rehab after a stroke can be a long old road.”
“I don’t want you to be unhappy either, Lloyd.” Natali said it quietly, but in a tone of voice that made Ana falter, then fall into step beside them. She glanced across at Natali, who looked deeply troubled. What on earth had happened?
“And why would you think I was? There’s a beer with my name on it in the fridge and ?porki makaruli for supper.”
They had almost reached Dida Krila and Natali stopped, taking a visible breath before she spoke.
“Last Saturday night I tried to see Mirjana, to tell her what a good man you are and to persuade her to back off. But she wasn’t there and I spoke to her daughter instead, and now Krasna wants to meet me on Friday. ”
“Why didn’t you say?” Ana was incredulous. For Natali to head off alone, to meet an absolute stranger, spoke volumes about how much her confidence had grown. At least some good had come out of this whole wretched mess.
“After I’d done it I thought … m-maybe it was the wrong thing, but I was just so desperate to keep us all together, for the l-library. Then we were sailing all day, then Baka got ill, then I thought nothing would come of it, so it might not matter…” Natali’s features puckered as she frowned.
“Except now it does,” said Ana.
Lloyd looked thoughtful for a moment, then he said.
“Come on, cheer up. I messed up so completely when I tried to talk to Mirjana that you can’t have made things worse.
” But when Ana looked at him, she couldn’t tell what he was really thinking.
And from where she was standing, worse was entirely possible. But so was better.
At least Natali had made a decision and done something about it.
It was well beyond time she took a leaf from her book.