Korčula #2
It had always been Kesten’s plan to drive a wedge between them when Lloyd went home, but when he visited the next day he’d realised Mirjana was grieving, not angry, and he knew he hadn’t done enough.
So he’d sneaked upstairs and emptied Kosana’s jewellery box, leaving a single earring in Lloyd’s old room for the family to find.
Lloyd knew he probably should feel angrier, but instead a strange emptiness filled him as he contemplated a spinning vision of his life unfolding quite differently from a certain point.
What was that film he’d taken Jenny to see when she was on maternity leave?
Sliding Doors? But he’d had a good life.
It had taken him a hell of a long time to get over Mirjana and the guilt he’d felt about leaving her behind, but eventually he’d been able to move on.
As long as Jenny had been by his side. As long as the past had stayed in its place.
But it hadn’t. And now that past had become his present too. As Mirjana came back into the room he was reading the last paragraphs of the letter, including Kesten’s description of where he’d hidden the jewellery in the drains at the barracks near Lumbarda where he’d initially been stationed.
“You understood?” Mirjana asked and Lloyd nodded. She sat down heavily opposite. “Those wasted years, all those wasted years.” As she shook her head, a tear splashed onto her blouse, and instinctively he reached across and took both her hands.
“No, not wasted. We had different lives. Not the life we planned together, and, of course, I regret that, but we found our way to happiness all the same.”
“You were happy with your wife? Krasna said she died … like my Milo. He was older than me, but still I did not expect him to leave me so soon. He was a good man, a good father.”
And a good husband? But Lloyd did not ask. “Yes, I was very happy with Jenny,” he said, “and we have a daughter too. Ruth. She’s twenty-five.”
Mirjana looked at her hands in his. “I think … I think you have been changed by this less than me, and I cannot decide if that makes me angry or glad.”
“Why would it make you angry?”
“Because I have become a hard and bitter woman, Lloyd. I see the worst in people and not the best. And now, to top it all off, I mistrust my own judgement.”
“You have no reason to do so. Kesten wove such a compelling web, and you’d known him all your life. He was family too, if I remember. Some sort of cousin?” She nodded. “Then why would you not believe him?”
“I just… Oh, what does it matter what I feel? I have caused you great harm, and no doubt worry, this summer, but I have already told Kristina I was wrong and that you are innocent. Now that you know the truth, she’ll be able to tell your boss in Dubrovnik too.
You should have been angry with me, Lloyd, but you have been kind.
You always were kind, like my father. It was one of the things I most loved about you. ”
“Well I knew it couldn’t have been my good looks,” he joked.
She pulled her hands free and gave his a gentle tap with her index finger. “Oh you, fishing for compliments. You are still quite handsome, I suppose. For your age.”
“And you…”
She wagged her finger. “Don’t say it, Lloyd. You were meant to laugh.”
“I know that. But I do want you to know that I can still see the girl I knew inside the woman.”
“Then you must be looking too hard.” She stood and brushed down her skirt. “Now, I have work to do. But will you perhaps come back tonight? With your colleagues from the library? Dinner will be on the house and the pizzas are better than ever. Milo was half-Italian and he made quite a few changes.”
“Not tonight. We need to be back in Ston. But maybe next week? If you give me your number I’ll call you.” He typed it into his phone as she dictated it, leaning over his shoulder. As he closed the app she looked at his screensaver.
“Is that Ruth? With your wife?”
“Yes, a few years ago now. Before Jenny got ill.”
“A happy memory, then.”
“Yes. And more than anything, we must treasure those.”
She nodded. “They are life’s jewels, not necklaces and earrings.
I think Mama was wrong about that, but some of the pieces she lost were her mother’s too.
When she died, I missed not having those because they were a link to her.
We buried her with her wedding ring so all I have is that one earring Kesten left for us to find. ”
Lloyd felt the chain around his neck where Jenny’s engagement ring hung, hidden and close to his heart. It was so much a part of him now that he usually forgot it was there, but he knew he’d be devastated if he lost it.
He followed Mirjana to the stairs, but halfway down he stopped. “What happened to the old barracks?”
She shrugged. “A few of the buildings have been repurposed but mainly it’s derelict. The tunnels are a bit of an attraction for adventure seekers. They say the views are terrific from up there. Why?”
“It’s a crazy thought, but could your mother’s jewellery still be where Kesten hid it?”
“I doubt it. It’s a long time ago, remember. And people exploring places like that tend to have a good poke around.”
“But worth a look? I’d be glad to go with you. Next weekend maybe?”
“Let’s see if I can get cover for the konoba before we start making plans. If nothing else, we could take a picnic.”
Lloyd nodded. “I’d like that.”
“Me too.” And as the girl who’d been Mirjana all those years before smiled shyly, the tiniest of tremors ran through him. Relief? Or something altogether unexpected?