Dubrovnik
Mateo Valenti?’s wife was waiting for Natali on the shaded terrace of Rhea Silvia, just as they’d arranged.
It was all very odd. Not only had she taken Natali’s number from her husband’s phone without him knowing, she’d then sworn Natali to secrecy.
What on earth could she want? Chances were it wouldn’t be good news, and although Natali wasn’t one to lose sleep over anything, it was making her uneasy.
If she had caught the earliest ferry from ?ipan, goodness knows what time Dina Valenti? had set out from Split.
No wonder she already had an empty espresso cup next to her, and the remains of a croissant.
If those crumbs were to find their way under the table, no doubt they’d make Obi a very happy dog.
Perhaps Natali would even treat herself to one, but with only a few weeks of the season left, and no real plan for what would happen after September, she was becoming increasingly conscious of money.
After gathering her breath under the trees outside the restaurant, Natali stepped towards the table.
“Mrs Valenti??” She recognised her from the pale green linen dress topped with a set of chunky wooden beads she had said she would be wearing. But looking beyond the elegant outfit, Natali could see how nervous she was from the way she repeatedly wiped her palms on the paper serviette.
She held out her hand, and Natali took it. “Dina, please. Thank you so much for coming.” The words rushed out. “I’d rather not only Mateo, but Baka too, know nothing about this.”
“If that is important to you, then of c-course.”
“It is, it is. I don’t like going behind anyone’s back, but until I know if you can help I’d rather keep this between us.” Dina sat down, as did Natali.
“You know I’ll do anything I can to help Baka.”
“Including making sure she gets the future she wants, and not the one Mateo’s currently insisting she has?” Ah, so that was what this was about. Natali fervently hoped she didn’t expect her to try to persuade Mateo what was best for his mother, because she was sure she couldn’t do it.
A waitress was already hovering. “Coffee?” asked Dina. “Something to eat? This is my treat.”
“Thank you. A bijela kava for me please, and a croissant.” As the woman had so far ignored Obi, at least Natali would have her own crumbs to give her.
“So you don’t want Baka to come and live with you?” she asked.
Dina looked down at her plate, then back at Natali. “Please don’t misunderstand me. I know my duty. If Baka wanted to come then I would not be saying this, but as it stands, her being in Split would only make everyone miserable. Even Mateo. He’s just too blind to see it.”
“So what do you want me to do?”
“I did wonder … you know … if there was any chance at all that you might want to be Baka’s live-in carer? We’d pay you, of course.”
This was so, so not what Natali had expected and it sent her mind into a whirl. She reached down and fondled Obi’s ears. “You know that’s n-not what I do? I crew yachts. I’m a mechanic.”
Dina’s face fell. “Oh, so there’s no chance at all? Baka talks about you a lot. She’s obviously fond of you.”
Natali was fond of Baka too, and if this might be a way of her returning to the home she loved, then perhaps she shouldn’t dismiss it out of hand.
She should at least think about it. She kept telling Ana and Lloyd how much she wanted Baka to be happy, so she wouldn’t be much of a friend if she didn’t.
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t consider it … for the winter at least. My work is seasonal, after all.”
“I wouldn’t ask for myself, or if I didn’t think it was the right thing for my mother-in-law, but if she comes to Split it’s going to affect my daughters so badly, especially the younger one.
You see, they’re going to have to share a room, and my eldest is seventeen, and, well, quite noisy – always playing music, on video calls with her friends.
But the little one, she’s dyslexic so she has to work really hard for school and needs quiet to do that.
It’s her future… She’s set the bar high for herself.
She wants to be a pharmacist. There will be such terrible arguments. ”
“That does sound tough,” said Natali. She surreptitiously dropped a piece of pastry on the floor for Obi, and tousled her soft ears. Yes, she got what Dina was saying about her daughter, but this was her future too, and it dawned on her that she might need peace and quiet to study as well.
“So it isn’t a definite no?” Dina persisted.
Two images clashed in Natali’s mind so violently it was all she could do not to put her hands to her ears: one of sitting in Baka’s garden in the sunshine, eating homemade cake while Obi ran free; the other of days spent cooking for Valentin, waiting for Valentin, freezing herself into Baka’s past for years and years and years, while her own life passed her by.
Dina was looking at her. She had to say something.
“The trouble is,” she replied slowly, “that the commitment is open-ended. Because I’m so fond of Baka I would find it hard to let her down if it didn’t work out.
Or simply if the time came for me to go back to my normal job.
I mean, if, by the end of her rehab, we know she’ll only need help for a few months and then she’ll be fine on her own, I’ll do it gladly. ”
“Or perhaps if it was only for a few months because she will not be fine,” said Dina with a sigh.
“What do you mean?” It didn’t sound like a casual comment. Natali could feel her heart beating faster.
“Mateo will be even more angry with me if I tell you because he doesn’t want it spread all around the island, but it isn’t fair to ask you to make this decision without knowing.”
Yet Natali was pretty sure Dina wouldn’t have said anything unless she thought she had to. This was a mother protecting her cubs and Natali felt an unwelcome stab of jealousy. But it was a fleeting thought. She was better than that.
“So?” she asked.
“When they did the brain scan to assess the stroke damage, they found a number of smallish tumours. Too many to operate on, unfortunately.”
Natali’s hand went to her mouth. This was awful, awful. Poor Baka. This on top of everything.
“How did she take the news?” she whispered.
“She’s forgotten about it. Or chosen to forget.
Mateo was with her when they told her and she definitely understood, but later when they tried to introduce her to someone from the palliative care team she told them they’d got the wrong person because she’d had a stroke and would soon be going home. ”
“Perhaps it’s like with Valentin and it’s good she’s forgotten, because what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her.”
“You understand her so well,” said Dina. “That’s what makes you the perfect person to look after her.”
And if Natali did agree, and if Mateo could be persuaded, it got Dina very neatly off the hook. But all the same, if it was best for Baka, how could Natali not even consider making her last weeks and months happy?
“Do they know how long?”
“It’s a guess, but they told Mateo six months to a year.”
Natali reached for Obi’s comforting warmth beneath the table. Everything Dina had said was tumbling and turning around her brain. She needed time to absorb it all. Time to get a handle on her emotions. She didn’t want to be bursting into tears the moment she saw Baka.
“I’ll consider it. That’s all I can say.”
“Thank you.” Dina stood, fishing in her handbag for her purse and car keys. “I’ll settle the bill then we’d better go and see her, hadn’t we?”
“Yes, but I’ll walk. That way we’ll spread out our visits, and she might think it strange if we arrived together.”
“Very well. I can only stay for half an hour anyway. It’s a long drive back.”
Natali nodded and watched Dina retreat inside the café to pay.
“Come on, Obi,” she said. “I can think of a route through at least two parks and you’re going to love that.
” Not as much as she loved the citrus grove around Baka’s house.
She had no doubt Obi would adore living on Kolo?ep, with the unimagined freedoms it would bring her, and that was a pretty significant factor in Natali’s decision.
But could she even be a carer? To someone she was fond of, yet someone she knew was dying.
It was all very well to want to make Baka’s last few months the happiest possible time, but how sad would it be to go through that?
She’d need to dig pretty deep to do it, but she had a feeling she could.
Thank goodness it wasn’t a decision she needed to make alone.
She had Ana and Lloyd to help her. And she knew for certain that they had her best interests at heart.
* * *
The stroke rehab unit looked for all the world like a small hotel built into the edge of the hospital grounds, with views over Velika i Mala Petka Park.
The wide path running up to its smoked glass doors was bordered with neat rose bushes and on most of the windows floral curtains peeped from matching loops.
It was certainly a lovely environment for Baka to regain her strength, and Natali clung to the thought.
She couldn’t allow herself to think about those tumours.
Like Baka herself, for the next couple of hours she had to pretend they didn’t exist.
Taking a deep breath, she went into the comfortably furnished reception area. The only thing which gave it away as a medical establishment was the woman behind the desk wearing a white uniform.
She jumped up to greet Natali. “Oh, are you the new animal therapist? What a sweet little dog. Our residents will love him.”
“Her. She’s called Obi. But I’m not the therapist. In fact, I didn’t even know that was a thing. I’m here to visit Mrs Valenti?.”
“And you are?”
“Natali. Natali Putica.”
“Ah, the one she says is going to marry her late son.”
Oh. That was not so good. “She d-did mention it one time when I saw her in the hospital.”
“I think you might find the idea’s rather taken hold. Do you mind?”
Did she? It was nothing to her really, and if it made Baka happy…
“I can easily go along with it. Everyone on the island pretends he’s alive so she doesn’t grieve for him all over again. It’s not a problem.”
The woman nodded. “It is very kind of you to collude with such a fantasy when you become an important part of it. You don’t have a jealous boyfriend?”
“No, it’s just me and Obi, so really it makes no difference.”
The receptionist led Natali outside and pointed out where Baka was sitting next to an umbrellaed table at the far end of the terrace which ran along the front of the day room. Was it Natali’s imagination, or did her face look more normal? Certainly one eye was still rather slanted, but her mouth…
On spotting Baka, Obi let out a sharp bark and scrabbled towards her, almost choking on her lead. Baka, who’d been gazing out over the trees, turned and smiled. No, her mouth wasn’t quite right yet, but Natali was sure it was improved.
“Obi! Natali!” she called. Her voice was certainly stronger too. “How wonderful to have visitors at last.” Oh. This was not so good. Dina must have only just left.
Natali gave up the battle to hold Obi’s lead, and she raced to jump onto Baka’s lap, trailing it behind her. “She’s so pleased to see you,” Natali said, bending to kiss the old lady’s cheek.
“And I’m pleased to see you both.” She ruffled Obi’s ears. “So how are you, little family? Have you been a good dog for your mama?”
Natali laughed. “In the main. But on Lopud yesterday she tried to chase one of the konoba cats. There was a lot of hissing and spitting, so I don’t think she’ll do it again. The cat was almost as big as she is.”
Baka looked down fondly. “Plucky little soul.” Some of her words were still indistinct, but that was no big deal. Not in the grand scheme of things.
“I watered your vegetables on Monday and everything in the house seems fine.”
“Ready for Valentin then. You will bring him as soon as he comes, won’t you?” Baka frowned. “Why hasn’t he come? Mateo has.”
Natali thought for a moment, uncertain what to say. “Well, I suppose America is much further away than Split.”
“You are right, of course. You’re a patient girl, Natali, to wait for him. All these years…”
What could she say? The receptionist was right; it was one thing to go along with it, but it felt like another to …
what was the word she’d used? Collude? Perhaps it was a little weird, but even so it was flattering that Baka’s delusions included her as part of her family.
Flattering and heart-wrenching at the same time.
No one had actually wanted her in their family before.
Oh god, she had to change the subject before she dissolved into tears.
“How is your arm?”
“Useless. I don’t know why they’re wasting my time with physio.”
“Because it needs to be better for you to go home.”
“But you and Valentin will look after me.” She nodded, almost as if to herself. So had Dina got the idea of asking her to care for her from Baka? Did she want it too?
“But … but…” Natali searched for inspiration. “You will still need to cook. He loves your cooking best of all.”
“I … I don’t remember.”
Natali squeezed Baka’s hand. “You will.” She almost added, “and I’ll help you” but much as she wanted to, it sounded far too close to a commitment.
It would be madness, utter madness, to do that without a great deal of thought.
And anyway, whatever Dina said, Mateo was against it, and for the first time she was grateful for his intransigence.
It bought her time, if nothing else. She looked down at Baka’s liver-spotted hand in hers.
Although she hardly knew this woman, she’d shown her nothing but friendship and understanding.
She knew how much Baka wanted to return home to Kolo?ep, and Natali really wanted to help.
To thank her, as much as anything. In the same sort of way she’d do anything for Ana and Lloyd.
But surely, surely caring for Baka would take too big a slice out of her own life?
Just at the time she needed to grasp her future by the scruff of the neck as well.