Chapter 14
T he castle moved in a sluggish haze for the rest of the day. I knew the trials were still held, which made me furious for Evander. To have to sit through those when I couldn’t even imagine how he must be feeling . . .
In order to give Mellie some much-needed time to process, I decided to forgo my rest day and jumped into work in the kitchen. I wasn’t sure what the prognosis was for magical depletion so intense it led to unconsciousness, but it couldn’t be good.
Maddox came into the kitchen that evening to make an announcement. She looked as stoic as ever, but I recognized the sadness hiding in the grim set of her mouth. I had seen it in Vanessa.
“As I’m sure you’ve all heard, the queen has fallen ill,” she said. “The decision has been made to attempt an immediate transfer of the Crown to Prince Evander. Typically, the current monarch needs to be an active participant in the succession process, since the magic needs to be relinquished to the new reining party, but given the circumstances, we don’t have much choice. I’m sharing this information with you because, should the transfer be successful, we will hold a formal coronation for Prince Evander– King Evander– in three days' time. I realize this is short notice to prepare, but we must do our best to pull off a show of strength for our kingdom.”
And for Falerin to see. The unspoken words hung in the air.
I’d have to speak to Mellie about the menu and see what I could get started. Three days . . .three days and Evander would be king.
I knew what position that put him, put us in . It had never been more crucial for him to find another Wielder to hold the other half of the Crown. No matter how my heart felt about it, I wouldn’t let him shoulder that burden alone and be drained from it the way his mother had been. The tiny spark of hope that had been lit in my heart since the morning sputtered and went out, and I tried my best to ignore how desolate it made me feel. I had to compartmentalize.
Someone needed to see how Evander was holding up, and I was willing to bet Maddox and General Finch weren’t the touchy-feely type. So, half an hour later I found myself trudging up the steps again. I arrived at his door, raised my fist to knock, and paused. This was a horrible idea. Again.
I lowered my hand, but the door swung open anyway. By the time I got inside, Evander was already walking back to the sitting area. He slumped into a cushion, fingers interlaced behind his neck.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t come back,” he said without looking up at me. “Georgette found me in the hallway before I even got to my room and told me. By the time I made it back to the testing room, you were gone.”
“I thought we weren’t apologizing?” I reminded him softly. “And I would never hold that against you. I can’t imagine what today has been like for you. How are you, really?” I sat beside him, but kept a few inches between us.
He looked up, eyes bloodshot and puffy. He still wore the same shirt and trousers from this morning, but had added an overcoat to look more presentable. A cravat was untied and draped askew around his neck and his hair stuck up at odd angles, as if he had been running his hands through it all day. I had never seen him look anything other than regal, but this . . . this was a man on the edge of a complete breakdown.
He opened his mouth as if to reassure me, but something in his expression shattered when he met my eyes. The soft sound he made as his face screwed up was raw and haunting.
Instinctively, I reached for him and held his head while he cried, stroking his hair but saying nothing. There was nothing I could say. Nothing I could do to make this situation better for him, and it was killing me.
When all the tears had fallen, he turned to face me, something like shame in his eyes.
“I’m so, SO sorry,” I said. “This is awful and I’m sorry you’re expected to put on a brave face.”
“Thank you,” he whispered. “Quinn–”
“I know,” I interrupted. If I had to listen to him actually say the words, I would go to pieces too. “I understand what this means and you have to know I don’t blame you for a second.”
Evander shook his head vehemently, like rejecting the truth would change it.
“I just need more time,” he said. “I can take the throne now and come up with a solution afterward. I will come up with a solution.”
“Right now you need to do what’s best for your mother, for your kingdom, and for yourself.” He started to protest. “Yes. Yourself,” I repeated. “If you won’t prioritize your well-being for your own sake, do it for your subjects. The people need a strong leader. You can’t allow yourself to be weakened by the weight of bearing it alone; I won’t let you.” My eyes filled with tears as I forced myself to finish. “I will always care about you, and I will always cheer you on, Evander. Please, for me: be happy.”
The kiss I pressed to his cheek as I rose from the settee was the melancholy goodbye I had been putting off for too long. It felt wrong to leave him in this state, but I couldn’t maintain composure for much longer, and Evander had enough burdens on his shoulders without feeling responsible for my heartbreak as well.
He said nothing as I walked to the door, but I made the mistake of looking back as I opened it. A silent tear rolled down his cheek and all I wanted was to kiss it away, to hold his face in my hands and promise him that it would be okay, that we would weather this trial together.
But I couldn’t. I slipped out and closed the door.
. . .
This was the kind of heartbreak that needed someone else to witness it. I knew I could trust Mellie to keep my secret, but she had her own grief to work through.
Besides, selfishly, I didn’t think I could stand the dismayed look on her face when she learned I had ignored her advice and gotten myself involved where I shouldn’t. I knew Mellie would love me no matter what, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t be disappointed.
That left me with one other option. I wasn’t sure how honest Colette had been about her disinterest for the prince, but I knew Vanessa at least would give me the tough love I needed.
My footsteps became more frantic as I got close to her room. For some reason, it felt vitally important that I didn’t cry until I was behind closed doors.
By the time I passed the first set of doors in our hallway, I had broken into a run.
Yanking open the door, I had to blink away my tears and clear my vision enough to understand what I was seeing.
Colette and Vanessa stood in front of the fireplace, locked in a tender embrace. Vanessa stroked Collete’s face as if it were porcelain, fragile and precious. Hearing the noise of the door, they jumped apart. Colette covered her face as Vanessa’s eyes flared wide.
“You two . . .” I started, flabbergasted. This explained so much. “YOU TWO!” Forgetting my own misery for a moment, I bounced toward them to share my excitement, but Vanessa crossed between Colette and me, her nostrils flaring.
“That was not what you thought it was,” she said, her tone strangely intense, eyes flashing.
“No,” I cut in, “I think it’s great that you’re–wait, is this why Colette needs to advance so badly? So she can stay in the castle with you?”
Vanessa leaned in very close to my face, her eyes turning an intense gold.
“You will forget that happened,” she hissed.
“No, I won’t.” I didn’t understand. “Why are you acting so strange about this?”
“Forget what you saw,” she tried again, her eyes glowing an even more brilliant shade.
Recognition flared in my gut. I had seen that look before. Maddox’s eyes flashed in my mind as she told me to forget about Evander’s admission on the stairwell, and a horrible realization dawned on me.
“Are you trying to wipe my memory? Is that your Gift?” And if it was, why wasn’t it working?
Colette hurried over to us.
“Nessa, she’s not going to tell anyone. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine!” Vanessa roared.
“Of course I’m not going to tell anyone. What is wrong with you?”
“YOU WILL FORGET WHAT YOU SAW.” She flung the words at me, eyes now frantic beacons of light.
“STOP,” I yelled. “Whatever it is you’re trying to do, stop! Do you have any idea how invasive this is? You can’t just force your way into my head!” Even as I raged, I backed up toward the door.
“Apparently not!” she snarled.
“Everyone just needs to calm down. We can talk about this,” Colette tried to mediate.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I said. “And to think I thought we were friends.” I flung the door open, breaking the sound ward, and Vanessa and Colette fell silent. Protecting their secret was more important than our friendship. As if it were in any danger in the first place.
Whirling around on them, I prepared to fire off a parting blow, but found myself at a complete loss for words. Vanessa stood as a buffer between Colette and me, as if I were going to attack her lover at any moment.
I met Colette’s big brown eyes over her shoulder and found them filled with tears. Her lips parted as if to say something, but I didn’t give her the chance. Instead, I slammed the door and ran into my own room, throwing myself onto my bed and finally giving in to the sobs that wracked my body.
. . .
Two days later, Evander was officially crowned king. His mother did not wake to attend the coronation.