Chapter 7 #2
‘That has been dealt with,’ he said impatiently.
‘He was angry at being presented with a fait accompli, but he has now consented and written to the Pope. I was with him when he dictated the letter requesting a dispensation. Rumours are always blown out of proportion at court as you well know. I will never walk away from you, Jeanette – ever. If the Pope refuses my request, we will go away somewhere together where it won’t matter. ’
She shook her head and folded her arms defensively. ‘I refuse to live through the same story that I did with Thomas. We cannot dwell outside the bounds of society – that is a dream.’
‘Look, everything will be all right, I swear. I am a seasoned battle leader. I know what I am doing and we shall not fail. I will take no other woman to wife, but if you do not want me, then say so now and let my father wed you to someone else.’
Jeanette bit her lip, feeling trapped. She feared Edward was burning his bridges and hers too. She had to choose whether to flee or jump into the fire, and she had no time. He was watching her, his energy a contained storm.
‘Jeanette, we are bound together in all but the final vow secured by consummation.’ He offered his arm to her. ‘Come walk with me while we talk. It is too enclosed here.’
After a hesitation she let him lead her from the manor to the garden beyond with its paths and arbours and fruit trees.
A sturdy wooden structure held several bee skeps, and the insects buzzed around the entrances heavy with the pollen collected from the flowers that populated beds and borders.
The tension between them remained palpable, but the greater space diffused it a little.
‘I hope we shall walk like this in days to come, arm in arm with our children following behind us,’ he said after a little while, ‘and I pray you will grant me that hope.’
A swift pang of grief swept through her, for it should be Thomas at her side and she could almost feel the presence of the children she would never bear to him.
Instead, they would be created from the seed of this man for whom she had great affection and even love, but it wasn’t the searing, glorious burn she had experienced with Thomas, hot as the sun beating down on their heads.
She had a choice to make, an answer to give.
She stopped, faced him and lifted her head. ‘If you are willing to walk through the flames, then I will go with you, but I pray to God in his mercy that neither of us has cause to regret it.’
He searched her face, raised his hand, and gently stroked the back of it against her cheek. ‘That is all I need, and I thank you for your grace and trust.’
She wondered if that was indeed all he needed, or if in the depths he desired more of her than she could give.
He lowered his hand and grasped hers, linking their fingers, and they walked in silence for a time until he paused and spoke again. ‘If I may, I should like to tell the children we are to be married, and that I am going to be their stepfather.’
She felt the blow on her heart, for it was another drawing away from her beloved Thomas. Too soon. Too painful. ‘What if the Pope refuses to give a dispensation? You will have to go back on your word to them.’
‘The Pope will not refuse,’ Edward said patiently. ‘It is not like your first marriage dispute when two parties were involved. We seek a simple dispensation. Surely it will be better for the children to know now, rather than on the eve of our wedding.’
She frowned but knew he was right. ‘Very well, but it must be done with tact and care.’
‘That is understood. I would like to take young Tom into my household while we are here. He is coming to his eleventhyear day soon and now would be a good opportunity.’
Again, Jeanette experienced a flash of resentment that Edward, not Thomas, was taking her son into the world of men.
But it was fleeting, brought on by the pain of grief.
Tom was more than ready, and Edward was the best person to train him.
Even if Thomas had been alive, their eldest son would still have left them to be trained by him. ‘As you wish,’ she said.
‘Thank you.’
He pulled her to him again and kissed her properly for the first time.
His lips felt very different to Thomas’s, yet the sensation was pleasurable, and her body stirred.
Thomas had been in his grave for six months, and it was more than nine since a man had touched her in desire.
Even if her mind and emotions were unready, her flesh responded to his hands at her waist, and his thighs pressed to her.
Making an effort, she drew back. ‘We should not do this,’ she said. ‘Many at court will believe we have already lain together, but it will not be the truth until we are wed in full, and I will not give the gossips more cause than they already have.’
She did not miss the momentary flash of disappointment in his eyes, but he mastered himself.
‘And I respect and honour your wish,’ he said with a rueful smile.
‘Our union will be all the sweeter for the anticipation, but it will be a sore trial until then.’ He raised her hand to his lips and kissed each fingertip individually, making her shiver.
Tom kept glancing out of the window at the bright summer sky as he ate his dinner of roast fowl with cumin sauce.
He was desperate to escape and go riding with his brother and the other lads in the household after a morning cooped up at his lessons, and Latin was his least favourite.
He worked hard at his studies because he wanted to please his mother and honour his father’s memory, but it was tedious.
Weapons play and riding were much more to his taste.
He had struck up a friendship with Prince Edward’s bastard son Roger of Clarendon, who was only a little older than himself, with a cheerful personality that matched his fair hair and ruddy cheeks.
Tom knew from the looks passing between his mother and the Prince that something was afoot. He wasn’t sure what, although it might be to do with him becoming the Prince’s squire. He was looking forward to that and a different, wider household away from home.
With dinner over, Tom begged leave to go out with his companions, but his mother shook her head and touched his shoulder.
‘In a while,’ she said. ‘Your godfather wishes to speak to you first, and your brother and sisters, on a very important matter, and I want you to listen carefully to what he has to say.’
Tom was nonplussed and a little anxious.
He couldn’t think of anything he and Johan had done wrong, and why would his sisters be involved?
Unless of course they were going to be split up as part of settling the estates.
Perhaps they were being given to someone in wardship?
His stomach rolled unpleasantly at the thought, which seemed obvious now he thought about it.
He looked over his shoulder at Roger, but his friend shrugged. ‘I’ll see you down at the stables,’ he said.
‘Now then.’ Hands behind his back, the Prince studied the line of children from left to right, beginning with Tom and finishing at two-year-old Joannie.
Tom flicked a glance at his mother. Her expression was smooth, but her body was stiff with tension.
‘You have all known me since you were born,’ Edward said.
‘Tom and Johan, you are my dearest godsons. Your mother is my kin and has always been a close friend. I loved and respected your father. I have striven to help all of you since he ascended to heaven and one of the most important things for your future is protecting you and ensuring that you flourish.’ He hesitated briefly and cleared his throat.
‘To this end, I have asked your mother if she will take me for her earthly husband and allow me to vouch for all of you as your legal stepfather. You know I held your true father in great esteem, and he too was my dear friend and mentor. I would never seek to replace him, nor could I. But what I can do is see you raised as he would have wished – cherished, protected and enriched.’
Tom stared at him in shocked surprise. The notion had dwelt at the back of his mind, but so far distant that having it catapulted to the forefront hit him like a trebuchet stone striking a wall.
‘In merging our families,’ the Prince continued, ‘I shall trust and expect your loyalty as I give mine to you, unconditionally. I vow to do my duty as a husband to your dear mother and hope in time you will come to think of me as a father and treat me as such. I know it is hard for you to comprehend, but I hope you will think on it in the days to come while the marriage is being arranged.’
Tom certainly couldn’t think just now, and Johan was silent too, his lips slightly parted. Maud’s thumb had been heading towards her mouth, but then she clearly remembered she was a big girl and put her hands behind her back.
Edward knelt to her level. ‘To seal this moment, I have a gift for each of you.’ He solemnly presented her with a small leather pouch, so that she had to bring her hands to the fore again to receive it.
He gave Tom and Johan pouches too, and Joannie’s was handed to her nurse.
The dark red leather was soft under Tom’s fingers, expertly tanned.
He bowed in thanks and, after a gesture from Edward, opened the drawstring of gold cord.
Inside were glowing jewels and gold coins, small ivory tokens of knighthood – a miniature sword and shield with the arms of England carved into them, and another bearing the ostrich plumes of the Prince’s device – and an enamelled belt badge of his mother’s kneeling white doe.
There was a small bone whistle on a cord too, and silver bells for a horse’s mane or breastband.
Johan had received similar, and so had Maud, but with the carved figurine of a woman holding a distaff rather than knightly tokens.