38. Brent
Brent
It’s been weeks since Val removed or locked her content smearing me and Posey, and since she stopped putting us on broadcast, our socials have quieted.
Maybe other people would have wanted revenge, but Posey and I just wanted it to stop.
Keeping on top of the mean comments isn’t a part-time job anymore, and I’m grateful for that.
Slipping into a familiar routine with Posey has been easy.
On nights when I have early-morning practice the next day, I sleep at hers.
Others, when I have dryland training in the morning, we sleep at mine.
In between classes, coursework, and practices, we squeeze out every moment of time we can together.
I’ve never craved another person’s company like I do hers.
Despite my bravado over the long-distance relationship looming ahead of us, I have no idea how I’m going to cope.
I’ve already contacted the head coach of the biggest swim team in Bellerive to see whether it’s possible for me to train there sporadically whenever I need a Posey fix.
From what I’ve been able to determine online, the island has decent facilities, and my coach has encouraged me to have a life beyond swimming.
We can make this work. I just have to keep telling myself that.
The final year before the Olympics, my flexibility will change as my training ramps up. At this point, I don’t know what I’d do if I had to choose between keeping Posey and going after my swimming goals.
We haven’t exchanged the L-word, but it’s getting harder and harder to hold it in when we’re together.
Every time I lay eyes on her, the torrent of emotion takes me by surprise, and I have to consciously watch what I say.
We’ve both danced around the truth. Instead of saying we love each other, we’ll talk about qualities we love in one another or things we love about us as a couple.
Baby steps. Inching her toward the magical reveal.
Surprise! You don’t just love all those things. You actually love me too.
I’ve never been in love with someone before, so I get how easy it is to freak out about how big this feels. She’ll be ready to admit it when she’s ready.
There’s a knock on my apartment door, and I open it to find Posey with two pizza boxes, a six-pack of beer, and a huge smile.
“One Netflix-and-chill session at your request. Emphasis on the chill.” She waggles her brows, and she slides the pizzas onto the island.
I take the beer from her hand, and I deposit it into the fridge. “What are you making me watch tonight?”
She gets a plate out of the cupboard for herself. A plate is pointless for me. I’ll eat a whole pizza myself and probably steal some of hers. I give her a kiss on the temple before grabbing my box to take a seat on the couch.
She plops down beside me and snags the remote off the coffee table. Lately we’ve been on a Veronica Mars binge. Prickly, sarcastic heroine who fears love. Seems about right.
“More teen angst,” I say as she clicks through to the newest episode.
“Don’t pretend like you don’t love it,” she says.
“I might love it a little bit.” She turns to look at me, and our gazes catch.
“Just a bit?”
The air grows thick around us, and I’m surprised she’s the one inching us further tonight.
Normally, I’m the one prodding her forward, but there’s something in her brown eyes that makes me think I can take a chance.
When we’ve danced around the L-word before, she’s laughed off any tension, but she’s riding it tonight.
Not a single flutter of hesitation in her expression or posture. A cool sweat breaks out under my arms.
“What if I said a lot?” I watch her carefully. “Would that freak you out?”
She bites her lip. “No...because I think I might love it a lot too.”
I slide the pizza box onto the coffee table, and I take her plate and set it on top.
Then I thread my fingers through her hair, and I kiss her.
In a minute, I’m going to take a bigger risk, but I have to get her primed first. As I lay her back into the couch cushions, I cradle her, and her hands are already tugging at my shirt.
“Babe,” I murmur against her lips. “Can I tell you something?”
She scans my expression, and she grazes my cheek with her thumb. “Anything.”
My heart is hammering in my chest, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never been so nervous in my life. “I love you.”
She frames my face, and she swallows. “That’s big.”
“Yeah, it’s—if you’re not—”
“I love you too. Really, really love you. The scary kind of love.”
“There’s a non-scary kind of love?” I ask. “Should have ordered that one.” But her words have filled me up in a way I never thought possible. Energy courses through me.
“You’re the best I’ve ever had, in every way,” she says.
I ease onto my side beside her on the couch, and I give a fist pump of victory. “Finally, you admit it without me having to tie you down.”
“You didn’t tie me down to get me to admit it before.”
“You’re right. That was just for fun.” I plant a quick kiss on her lips.
She releases a deep sigh, and a tiny frisson of unease snakes down my spine. She doesn’t sound like how I feel.
“Aren’t you worried about what happens when this semester is over?” she asks.
Deathly afraid, but not about whether we’ll work. More about what I’m willing to give up to keep her. “Lots of people do long-distance.”
“It’s at least six years of distance, and would you even want to live in Bellerive? I don’t want to live anywhere else.”
“I know where your head and heart are at. That’s not a problem for me.
My de facto citizenship will finally come in handy.
” The next part might surprise her since I didn’t discuss it with her earlier.
“My coach and the head coach of Bellerive’s national team agreed to work together to train me.
I’ll be able to flip back and forth between the two programs pretty seamlessly, or so they assure me. ”
“I don’t understand what that means?”
“It means that if you need me, I’ll be able to be there. Or if I miss you, I can spend a week in Bellerive to train and hang out with you. Whatever job you have will have holidays too. Long weekends.”
“You’ve really thought about this.”
“Obsessively,” I say with a chuckle. “I’m not looking forward to it, and I think it’s going to be hard, but if there’s anyone worth trying this with, it’s you. There’s no one else.”
She rolls onto her side and throws one leg over my waist. “I might need a demonstration of what it’ll be like when I haven’t seen you for weeks. For research purposes.”
“Well, if it’s for science.” I slide my hand along her ass and tug her tighter against me.
“Very scientific.”
I feather kisses along her neck, and she arches her back into me. “Does this mean you’re up for giving long-distance a try?” I ask.
“With the way I feel about you,” she says, “I don’t think I’ve got a choice. You aren’t someone I can let slip away.” Her lips twitch. “I’d rather you slipped somewhere else.”
Abandoning the pizza, I lift her into my arms, and I carry her into my bedroom. If she wants a demonstration of the depth of love and desire I have for her, who am I to deny her?
As I lay her down on the bed and follow her down, a surge of happiness races through me. We both understand that what’s between us isn’t fleeting, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.
“Come on, big boy,” Posey says with a wink. “Show me what you’ve got.”