Chapter 14
Katie found Flynn’s personality interesting and unusual in a way, but a lot like Aiden’s in some cases. There was something inside him that Katie intuitively didn’t want to see. There was something unnerving lurking behind his kind, dark gaze.
She noted that as they spoke, Aiden’s gaze flicked toward them, his expression unreadable but his attention clearly focused. Katie’s heart pounded as she continued to engage Flynn in conversation, trying to ignore the sensation of being watched.
The music began to slow, signaling the end of the dance. Flynn twirled her one last time before bringing her back to the starting position. With a polite bow, he said, “It was a pleasure dancin’ with ye, Katie. I should be gettin’ on me way now. Enjoy the rest of yer evenin’.”
Katie nodded, feeling a mix of relief and disappointment as Flynn slipped away into the crowd. She quickly moved to a nearby table, retrieving her shawl and a drink, and tried to calm her nerves. The moment she had been mentally preparing for all evening was finally at hand.
As she approached the high table where Aiden was seated, he looked up from his conversation with Oliver and Malcolm. His expression remained stoic, but his eyes softened slightly as they locked onto hers.
“May I speak with you for a moment?” Katie asked, trying to keep her voice steady.
Aiden rose from his seat, his posture rigid. “Of course.”
He extended his arm, offering to escort her away from the noise and commotion. Katie took his arm and could feel the tension in his muscles. As they walked, Aiden’s eyes scanned the dance floor, his gaze occasionally returning to her.
Katie’s mind went over what she wanted to say to Aiden. She knew this was her chance to address their undeclared feelings and disagreements. The night had been full of revelations, and she hoped their conversation would be a stepping stone toward clarity and connection.
As they reached a quieter part of the hall, away from the revelers, Katie took a deep breath, ready to discuss the issues that had been hanging between them. She glanced up at Aiden and prepared to speak as her heart beat rapidly with anticipation and uncertainty.
Aiden stood in the dimly lit hallway, the noise of the feast fading as he faced Katie.
The torches affixed along the stone walls cast a warm glow on her, illuminating the soft lines of her face and the hesitation in her eyes.
His heart ached with a mix of emotions he couldn’t fully understand, let alone control.
Desire, frustration, guilt—they all warred within him and left him feeling on edge.
Katie had asked him to talk, and now that they were finally alone, Aiden found himself struggling to form the right words.
His mind was a mess, torn between wanting to be gentle with her and protect her, and wanting to set free the darker, selfish desires that had plagued him since the moment they met.
She looked at him expectantly, her hands clasped together, her voice trembling slightly. “Aiden… will you accept my apology?”
Aiden frowned, his confusion evident as he asked, “What do ye have to apologize for?”
Katie bit her lip and lowered her gaze to the floor for a moment before she looked back up at him.
“You’ve been ignoring me, you’ve been unhappy with me…
and angry since we were told we had to marry.
I’ve seen it in your eyes and in how you’ve avoided me.
I… I just want to make things right between us. ”
His silence hung heavy in the air. Aiden wasn’t sure how to respond.
The truth was that he had been avoiding her, but not for the reasons she may have thought.
Yes, he had been angry, but it wasn’t directed at her—it was at the situation he’d found himself in.
He was upset at himself for wanting her so fiercely despite knowing that he shouldn’t, that he just wasn’t good enough for her.
Katie took a small step closer, her voice soft but earnest. “Please, Aiden. I want us to start our marriage from a place of love and understanding. I don’t want to be at odds with you.”
Aiden’s heart clenched at her words. She was offering him a real chance, a way to make things easier for both of them, to build something real between them, but he couldn’t bring himself to accept what she was offering.
How can I accept? How can I allow her into me heart when I ken I will only taint her with the stench of me sins and drown her in me darkness?
He wanted to pull her close and tell her that he would keep her safe forever, that he would cherish her as she deserved. But the fear of what he might do to her, of how he might ruin her, held him back.
With every second of his silence, Katie’s resolve grew stronger. He could see the hunger in her eyes, laced with a sadness that hurt him more than any knife could. It was the look of someone who was preparing for the worst, who was trying to protect themselves from the inevitable pain of rejection.
“Please, Aiden,” she whispered, her voice breaking slightly. “I want to make this work. I want to be your partner, your wife… but I can’t do that alone. You must let me in.”
Aiden swallowed hard, his throat tight. He wanted to say something, anything, to ease her pain, but the words simply wouldn’t come. Instead, all he could do was stare at her, torn between the desire to reach out and the overwhelming fear of what might happen if he did.
Katie’s shoulders sagged slightly, her hope slipping away as she realized he wasn’t going to respond.
She looked at him one last time, searching his face for any sign that he might relent, that he might let her in.
But when she found nothing but silence, her expression crumbled into one of quiet resignation.
“I understand,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “If you don’t want this… if you don’t want me, just say so.”
Aiden’s stomach twisted painfully at her words, but he still couldn’t make himself speak. His silence was a betrayal of everything he felt, but he didn’t know how to change it, how to give her the reassurance she so desperately needed.
Katie took a step back, her hand trembling as she reached for the edge of her cloak. She wrapped it tightly around herself, as if trying to shield herself from the coldness between them.
The silence between them grew thick and suffocating until all Aiden could hear was the pounding of his own heart.
He leaned back against the cold stone wall, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.
He had hurt her, and he knew it. He had seen the sadness in her eyes, felt the sting of her disappointment, and yet he had done nothing to stop it.
His fear had paralyzed him, and now he was only left with the bitter taste of regret.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice barely audible. “I didn’t mean to make things harder for you.”
With that, she turned and walked away, her rapid footsteps echoing down the hallway. Aiden writhed in pain as he watched her leave, his chest tightening with every step she took. He tried to call out to her, to tell her to stop, to come back to him, but his mouth refused to obey.
A tortured, guttural cry tore from his lips, and the dam within him suddenly broke and released him from its stony grip.
He ran as fast as his feet could carry him and caught up with her as she rounded the corner.
He grabbed her right shoulder and spun her around, and she gasped in surprise and stumbled from the force.
He caught her in his sinewy arms, and, with a tormented curse that revealed his anguish, love and fear, he pulled her brusquely to him and kissed her fiercely, his fingers deeply buried in the shining mass of her hair.
The explosion that occurred between them as their lips reunited was earth-shattering. Aiden gasped and shook with the thrill, pulling her nearer to him, trying to mold her body to his. Katie groaned in response to Aiden’s passion, which only fanned the flames of his mounting desire to have her.
Aiden opened his eyes, pulled away slightly from Katie’s lips, and pressed the palms of his hands against her temples as though he could exorcize the pain he had caused her.
He needed to erase the image of her forlorn, resigned expression from his mind before it could forever haunt him.
He had only wanted to protect her, to keep her safe from the darkness he knew lurked within him.
He could no longer push her away and leave her adrift in a sea of silence and unspoken words.
His eyes bored into Katie’s, and he shuddered violently, realizing how close he had come to losing her.
With renewed urgency, he crushed his lips to hers and opened her mouth with his tongue, tasting her sweetness and reveling in its warmth.
He nipped her lips and sucked on them gently, making her gasp with pleasure and grip his muscular, battle-scarred back as she drew him to her.
His lips trailed down her cheek to the side of her neck, and he inhaled deeply as he rained slow, sensuous kisses from her earlobe down to the hollow of her throat.
He flicked his tongue and tasted the saltiness of her skin, mixed with the heady aroma of rosemary and sage from the earlier festivities.
Katie groaned in response and threw her head back to give him better access.
Aiden obliged and ran his rough hands along her shoulders and her sides, stopping as he met the swell of her breasts.
Katie gasped but urged him on. Aiden grazed her breasts lightly and watched in fascination as goosebumps erupted on her skin. Lowering his head to her bosom, he pulled down the front of her dress and nuzzled between her breasts, licking, tasting and kissing them as he explored each white mound.
Aiden growled into her cleavage. “I shall nae hurt ye again with me silence.”
He raised his head to meet her eyes. “But now ye need to rest. We can talk in the morning.”
In a moment of understanding and acceptance, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close, reveling in all that she had become to him.
They walked together back to her room wrapped in a cocoon of intimate silence. He kissed her gently one last time, as he pushed open the door and led her in.
“Rest well, lass,” he whispered in her ear, and smirked as she sucked in a breath. For a moment, it looked as if he was contemplating staying. She wouldn’t have said no. But he didn’t.