May 24th #2
“Us?” I ask, the word sliding off my lips like butter. Because I was thinking about us too.
He nods his head toward Chase and his sister. “That will be us soon.”
“What will be us?”
“Getting married.”
I hold my hands up in the air. “Okay, enough. I get it. You have a crush. I’m an older woman. You’re telling me what you think I want to hear so that I will sleep with you.”
“If I just wanted to sleep with you, that is not what I would be saying. At all. I’m serious, Ainsley. Do you not feel some inexplicable pull bringing us together? I felt it the first day I saw you. I still feel it now.”
“I think they call that chemistry?”
“No, they call that soulmates.”
And while my heart fills with joy and I want to tell him I feel the same way, that I felt the same way the first time we locked eyes, I just can’t.
Literally cannot risk the pain that will come when he decides he was incorrect about all that.
That he doesn’t love me—maybe never really did.
That he needs to live life before figuring it all out.
“What if I’m not quite on the same page right now?” I ask him. Because while I don’t want to stoke the dream flames, I also am not willing to stomp all over them to put them out.
“Do you like me? Like, like me , like me?” he asks .
“I do,” I admit.
“Good,” he says. “Save all your dances for me.”
“I am hoping to dance a few with my dad. He was supposed to be here for the wedding, but must be running late.”
“I can probably allow that,” he says with a playful grin.
But then we hear, “Best man, you’re up,” and he says, “Duty calls.”
Believes in love.
Ainsley
I walk with my mom over to the cocktail party, get our photo taken under a pretty floral arch at the entrance, and then walk into a beautiful courtyard, flanked by what appears to be large glass houses. Even the ceilings are glass.
“Oh, cupcakes and champagne,” my mom says. “Let’s go get some.”
“That’s always what you want for your birthday,” I tease.
“I like them anytime, honestly. There’s just something about the sweetness of the cake mixed with the bubbles of the champagne that’s really quite delightful. Don’t you think?”
“I do think so,” I reply.
I’m also happy because Mom seems to be in a good mood.
She looks relaxed. She’s having fun. I was worried that, you know, like, being at a wedding when things were rough with my dad would be hard on her.
When I wasn’t drooling over Damon, I was wondering if she was sitting there, thinking of her own perfect wedding and how her marriage wasn’t so perfect right now.
And I thought that might depress her. But her cheeks are rosy, so I guess she still believes in love.
I hold my glass up to hers.“Here’s to cupcakes and champagne. And sharing them with each other.”
“Cheers to that.”
“I have a question for you. I know things are not great with you and Dad right now, but do you believe in love? Like, truly believe the things that people say, like that love transcends time, about being soulmates, and all the gooey stuff?”
Mom seems to consider her words for a few moments and then looks at me and says, “Yes. You know, you never really told me much about your breakup with Brad. What happened? Because you used to dream of love, and now you seem a little cynical. I’m sure my telling you that your dad and I are struggling doesn’t help the situation either, but you can’t let that affect you. ”
“I texted with Dad earlier today. Invited him to come to the wedding. He said he would be here, but he’s not, and I’m worried.”
“Your father doesn’t like to talk about his relationship with his brothers. And it’s easier for him to tell you that he’ll be here, rather than explain to you why he won’t. ”
“So, he’d rather lie about it?” I wonder.
“Something like that. He told me he would not be here. I don’t expect that to change. I know you’re worried, but please, it’s between your father and me, and once things get sorted, I’ll let you know. In the meantime, let’s try to enjoy ourselves, okay?”
“Okay,” I say.
“Tell me what happened with Brad. Obviously, now I know he cheated on you.”
“I didn’t want to tell you about Brad because I felt like a failure in the relationship.
I felt stupid. I still feel stupid—like I should’ve known what was going on in my relationship.
I guess I just lived in some happy little love bubble that maybe wasn’t happy for him.
I’m not sure, but he cheated on me, and it wasn’t the first time.
Apparently, he had been doing so all freshman year.
“It was hard. He was my best friend, and I think that made it even worse, you know, because not only did I lose him, but I also lost my best friend. And I had spent so much time with him. We had made friends as a couple and hung out with people and everything, but I personally hadn’t made any super-close friends. Not even my roommate.
“When we broke up, I kinda didn’t leave the dorm.
You know I failed my finals, lost my scholarship, and quit.
At the time, I felt like a failure over that, too, but looking back, it was probably a good thing.
It forced me to evaluate engineering as a major.
I’m very happy that I switched to interior design, but I haven’t dated—at all really—since then, and I don’t know if I want to.
I just want to graduate, have a career, and take care of me. ”
“Ainsley, don’t let what he did affect your future happiness.
If you truly don’t want a relationship right now, that’s fine.
You’ve got Sammy. And you’ll always have me.
You should have told me back then. My role as your mother is to help you through rough times. Not judge you. I won’t ever judge you.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“I did notice something tonight,” she says.
“Like what?”
“At the ceremony, you and Damon Diamond were staring at each other. Do you like him?”
“I’ve gotten to know him over the last couple of days. He’s nice. We’re friends,” I say, stuttering through my words, feeling nervous and hot and bothered because I keep thinking about Sammy’s stupid text about skinny-dipping.
The second I’m about to finish my sentence, Damon follows Chase and Dani into the reception space, looking so handsome that I stop to stare.
Mom goes, “You’re doing it again. And now that I can really see his face, it’s pretty obvious that he’s in love with you.”
“Like, what would even make you say that?” I take another swig of champagne.
“Because he’s grinning at you. His eyes have that puppy-dog look. But the more important question is, do you have feelings for him? ”
“As I said, we’re friends. Sort of related. And he’s way too young for me.”
“He sure doesn’t look young.” Her eyes take in his form, and her mouth turns up in a grin.
“Mom, stop! He’s seventeen.”
“But I thought he was going to college in the fall. Shouldn’t he be at least eighteen?”
“Not until June first. I’m pretty sure if you stay, you’ll get to go to his birthday party.”
“Well, that sounds fun.” Then she says, “Oh, there’s Lori. I’m going to congratulate her on her daughter’s wedding.”
The second she ditches me, Damon winks at me, and I can tell he’s heading in my direction.
He has Chase’s younger sister, Haley, on his arm, and it makes me wonder about their relationship.
It’s obvious they are close, but I can’t help but wonder if there’s more, especially when I see him smile at her and say something that makes her laugh.
They are stopping along the way to talk to people, so I grab two cupcakes and two flutes of champagne.
When they get to the table, I say, “I got cupcakes and champagne for you so that we could do a toast to the bride and groom.”
Damon gives me a smoldering look.
Haley holds up her glass and says, “Well, that’s very thoughtful.”
I’m going to say something, but Damon beats me to it.
He catches my gaze, staring straight into my eyes, when he says, “To true love. May we all find it in our lifetime. Cheers.”
Haley starts giggling.
“Why are you laughing?” he says to her. “You know you want that too.”
“Of course I do.” She shakes her head. “It’s just pretty obvious that you think you’ve already found it. How do you feel about that, Ainsley?”
Damon’s mouth drops open like he can’t believe she called him out, and he actually looks embarrassed about it.
And I would have thought he would say something all cocky, like, Of course, all the girls love me , but he doesn’t.
He actually looks slightly horrified. And that kind of makes me happy because she’s his friend, and if she thinks he likes me, then he must.
“Haley,” he says to her, “why don’t you go grab us some of that cheese?”
She grins at him, laughs, and leaves.
And I’m just standing here with my lips pressed together, trying to keep a massive grin from breaking out on my face. Instead, I grab my glass and take a little sip, but the second I set it down, I can’t help myself. I just start laughing.
“Why are you laughing?” he says, narrowing his eyes at me. “It’s not like you don’t know that I like you. I pretty much told you I wanted to marry you already. That I think we’re soulmates.”
“I guess I thought those were, like, pickup lines. You know, a guy telling a girl things she wants to hear so she’ll sleep with him.”
“I’m pretty sure I also told you that’s not what I want. In fact, I told you a few nights ago that I just wanted to share a bucket of chicken with you.”
I soften my gaze and say sincerely, “You look really handsome tonight, Damon, and I will admit that seeing you up at the altar made me feel something.”
“Horny?” he says, a grin spreading across his face.
“Damon! You just nullified everything you’d said!”
“No, I didn’t because you should feel that way about the person you like.”
“True,” I say tentatively.
“Does that mean you’re gonna dance with me tonight?” he asks, his eyes sparkling with naughtiness.
“Yes, I will dance with you, Damon.”