15. Chapter 15
fifteen
Rodi
I ’m so done with all of this. With his actions, his words. But what annoys me even more is who he thinks I am.
I don’t even want to think about it, wondering if it’s true. Because it shouldn’t matter. It won’t make what he did—and still does—alright.
It would be so much easier if I hated him, but I don’t. I want to be mad, and I am. But it’s not enough. I still want to run back and trust that everything will be okay.
Because I don’t know if it will.
I do know that I want to be selfish and have them both. I’ll never choose. No matter what Ares tries, I can never push Ethan away. Because deep down, I know this is the way. This is how it should be. All three of us.
And it should be easier to just push Ares away, yet every time I even think about it, my heart clenches, my breathing shallows, and I feel lost.
Perhaps that’s the mate bond. It should be, because I don’t know the exact moment I started to care for him like that.
It sneaked its way inside, curling around my heart, and it’s now holding me in a tight grip, one I can’t escape. I don’t even know whether I want to escape.
If Ares really cares for me, he’ll come around. I have to believe that and not give up on myself and what I want. He has to accept that I have two mates. They are both parts of my soul, and I’ll never be complete without them.
And now, as I lie on my bed, wondering what my next move is, my mind takes me to how I feel when they touch me, whisper to me.
Like how Ethan did when we went shopping for a dress. How he made me feel him.
How I glided the washcloth over Ares’ tanned, wet skin.
A smile curves as I realize what I can do. How I won Ares over once before.
Is it a bad thought? Yes, a little bit.
But it’s the good kind of bad.
I hope.
First, let’s test whether this dragon call thing works both ways.
As I close my eyes, I let my fingers wander over my body, dipping lower and parting my legs as I focus on Ethan first.
A warmth spreads inside me as I curve my hand under my dress.
The heat intensifies, crawling under my skin, and then my eyes fly open as a harsh knock sounds on my door.
I grin, clearing my throat. “Who is it?” I call out as I peel my hand away from my thigh and sit up .
“Ethan,” he quickly says and opens the door without waiting.
He pants, his eyes wide as mine wander over his bare chest, slowly gliding down.
“What are you doing?” he asks as his nostrils flare, taking in my scent.
“Thinking about you,” I say as I roll to my knees and crawl closer, reaching the end of the bed.
“Was it good or bad?” He steps toward me.
“Both.” As he stands inches away, my fingers trail over his carved abs, grazing over the belt on his trousers.
“What do you want?” he asks, and I peek up as his eyes glint with lust and longing. But I know we can’t do anything, not until Ares accepts this.
With a slight curl of my lips, I focus on Ares, calling him closer, thinking about his hands on my body, his mouth on my clit.
My thought seems to affect Ethan as his gaze flickers to his dragon and a groan rumbles in his chest.
The mark on my neck burns slightly as I squirm. My stomach coils in need since I can’t stop thinking about what I want to do next.
The door swings closed. Ares’ gaze snaps at Ethan and a sneer forms on his lips.
“Don’t, Ares. Please,” I plead, reaching my hand for him.
His jaw tenses as he edges closer and grips my chin. “Naughty little rider,” he groans, and I see the slight excitement in his eyes.
A smile tugs on my lips, and I pull him closer, pressing my lips to his as my skin itches with need for more. For both of them.
“Give it one shot. Try it with me. Because I do want to feel the bond, I do want to remember. But perhaps that can only happen if we trust and open up to each other,” I say as my eyes flick between them.
Ares’ hands grip my waist, pulling me closer until his carved body presses against mine. “No more fighting,” he whispers .
The bed dips, and sparks rush up my hips. Ethan moves behind me. His hand crawls under my dress, and his fingers teasingly trail over my skin until something sharp grazes me. Before I realize what he’s doing, a soft, cool breeze dances over my naked skin as the dress I wore is sliced with his dragon claw, destroying it until there’s nothing between his skin and mine.
“Take it off,” I mumble as I grip Ares’ shirt tightly, wanting to feel his skin next.
He gazes down at me. “Eager little rider.”
I nod as I wet my lips, earning a soft growl from his dragon.
Ethan’s hands curl around my waist, gliding higher until he cups my breast, drawing a breathy moan. Desire swirls in my lower stomach, threatening to seep lower as my arousal rises.
My fingers slowly move down Ares’ chest and abdomen, fumbling with his pants. I don’t want to let this moment slip between my fingers.
“Not yet,” Ares groans as his gaze is fixed on Ethan’s hands.
My face heats, my chest rising and falling with every breath. I can’t tear my gaze from his.
“I want to play with you first, little rider,” Ares says as he rips Ethan’s touch from me and tosses me on my back. Ares crawls between my legs as Ethan watches, and my legs start to quiver.
Ares’ lips trail over my thigh, softly nibbling on my skin. His eyes are fixed on mine. His lips inch higher as my breath shakes, and then he grins and flicks his tongue over my clit.
His arms wrap around my thighs, holding me tightly in place as he laps his tongue against me again and again. Moans spill as my back arches.
My hand glides down, fingers raking through his tousled hair, tugging him closer.
My eyes find Ethan’s. His cheeks are flushed. His erection strains against his pants as his jaw tenses .
“Please,” I beg again, but this time focused on Ethan, hoping to lure him closer.
He crawls closer, his gaze flicking between Ares buried between my legs and my lips.
“Kiss me,” I moan as Ares nibbles my clit gently.
“Make me yours,” I add, and those three words crack through the last of Ethan’s restraint.
His lips fall on mine, claiming me as my free hand grazes over his chest. His lips are soft against mine, and so are the tender strokes of his tongue while my moans vibrate around it.
As I hear Ares grumble, I tighten my hold on his hair. My thighs clench as well, holding him in place.
This is my choice, not his.
My warning backs him off, and without a word, his fingers tease my entrance and thrust inside.
I yelp, my lips breaking free from Ethan’s.
“Careful,” Ethan snaps.
“You never touched yourself, little rider?” Ares asks as his brows knit and worry edges into his strong features.
Keeping my lips sealed, I shake my head, and he pulls his fingers out.
“I’m your first.” He grins, and my gaze narrows.
“And you both will be my last,” I say, watching how Ethan’s shoulders drop in relief.
Ares keeps his next thought to himself as he licks over my entrance, making me gasp, and then he pushes his tongue inside me.
“Oh,” I moan as he softly moves his tongue.
Ethan’s fingers trail over my bare breast. “I want to play with you next,” he whispers, and heat flares under my skin at the sound of his words. Then his lips tease over my neck, down to my breasts and nipples .
Ares’ tongue fades as he carefully replaces it with his finger, gently thrusting inside me as he leans up, eyes fixed on mine.
I don’t miss the lust in his eyes as he glimpses Ethan’s teases.
His finger curves, hitting a new spot inside me, and my hips buck, earning a sly smile from Ares.
“You know, little rider,” he starts as he thrusts against that spot again, “this” —and another thrust— “will feel even better with my cock.”
Ethan pauses his soft sucks and licks, his lips leaving my heated skin. “Or mine,” he adds.
Ares growls softly, and I say something without truly thinking it through. “Or both.”
Their gazes snap to mine, both of their pupils changing into slits, and the heat inside me burns brighter.
With a quick blink from Ethan, his eyes turn back to their normal forest green and he mumbles, “Not today.”
Ares agrees, “Yeah, not today.”
I grin. This is a step in the right direction since they finally agree on something that includes me.
“Not today,” I agree even as the thought of them both inside me simmers in my mind.