17. Chapter 17
seventeen
I t’s been days since my shared night with Ares and Ethan. I thought Ares would accept Ethan. I thought he’d be fine with the fact that I want to be with both of them. At least that was the plan. An incredible one.
The sensations were hard to describe, but I’ve never felt such pleasure before in my life. Happiness swelled in my chest. Warmth filled my cheeks. My soul felt complete.
A plan without the desired outcome , I think as I wander around the courtyard. My fingers graze over the old stone walls and fresh air fills my lungs. I take in the beautiful sight of the flowerbeds, the trees, and the small pond in the center, all taken care of by Ares’ staff.
They don’t even speak to me, pretending I don’t exist .
I don’t know what was better, here or the orphanage. At least at the orphanage, I had Liza.
And now I feel even more alone.
Ares works, or whatever he does, and has even sent Ethan away. I didn’t know until it was too late.
I searched for him, both of them. But only one came home that night.
I was too tired to fight and locked myself in my room. Perhaps it wasn’t such a bad idea to have a room that was completely mine so I could hide from my mate.
I scoff as I lower myself, trailing my fingers through the cold water of the pond as Ares’ staff scatters because of my presence.
Alone.
I was honest. I told Ares he was hurting me by pushing Ethan away when he told me who I am.
And yet, he continues his tricks to keep me away from Ethan.
But does Ares care that I’m in pain? No. He wants me all to himself, and he doesn’t care what he has to do to achieve that. Even if that means sending off my other mate so that I can’t be around him.
There’s a hole in my heart since Ethan’s been gone. All I want to do is hear his voice and feel his touch, but Ares is determined to keep us apart as much as possible.
My heart aches as I think about how far away Ethan is from me. I don’t know when he’ll come back, and I fear that Ares will somehow send him away again to keep him from me.
Ares keeps crossing lines as he tries to control my life and me. I wonder how far he will take it.
He should know that, mate bond or not, I won’t forgive him if he ruins us. Perhaps I’m already giving him more chances than I should .
Or maybe I should give up this fight and complete our bond. Let him feel the pain he causes me.
The sound of boots crushing over the cobbled path makes my ears perk, and I glance over my shoulder.
“Little rider,” Ares muses. His cloak grazes the path as my eyes linger on his partly open shirt, revealing his strong, tanned chest.
I clench my eyes shut and turn away from him. “You’re back early.”
He sits down beside me, his shoulder brushing mine. “I missed you.”
I sigh as I dare to peek at him again. “Why do you leave me here alone?”
His brows knit. “It’s not safe for you.”
I snort and shake my head. “Sure, that’s it.”
He grips my chin, forcing a whimper from my lips as his gaze bores into mine. “Everything I do is to keep you safe.”
Squaring my shoulders, I harden my eyes. “Whatever you say to make yourself sleep better at night.”
“I would sleep better if you slept next to me.” His voice softens and his shoulders drop. My heart aches at the sight.
“And yet you gave me a room to myself. Why’s that?” I shouldn’t ask, especially since I like my space at the moment. But I can’t help as it nags at me.
His touch leaves as he shrugs. “I don’t know, but I do know I regret it.”
“That’s all you regret?” I push.
Ares grinds his teeth before sighing, his eyes growing darker. “Why? Am I still not enough for you?”
I frown. I never want him to think that he’s not enough for me, but he can’t smother me. “You are. You’ll always be enough, but Ethan has a part of my soul too. You know that. All I want is for all of us to be happy together. I wish you’d accept that.”
Ares’ chest heavily rises and falls. “Mark me, and I’ll think about it. ”
I roll my eyes at him. I can’t believe he’d suggest such an important thing like that in a situation like this. Does he really hate the thought of sharing me with Ethan that much? “I should mark you out of love, not because we struck a bargain.”
“It’s not like that,” Ares scoffs. “It’s for… peace of mind.”
“Peace of mind?” I say with a shake of my head. “I care for you, Ares. That should be enough peace of mind to allow me to be happy.”
“How would you feel if you had to compete with someone else for me?” Ares asks.
I narrow my eyes. He’s seeing the situation all wrong, but it’s so hard to change his mind. “You’re not competing. I just want you to share.”
“He’ll try to steal you away from me,” Ares bites out.
He’s so threatened by Ethan when he doesn’t need to be. He’s so blinded by his need for me that he’s not truly recognizing his own Warden. “He won’t. He wants to share. I wish you’d talk to him.”
Ares shakes his head. “There’s no need. I’m his Aetherion.”
“There are no ranks between us,” I say firmly. I’m not budging on that, and he has to respect that.
Ares doesn’t say anything. His eye slightly twitches as he stares at me in tense silence, then he rises to his feet. “Fine. Ethan will be back in a few days.” With that, he leaves.
I should feel happy, glad that I won, but I’m not. Not as he saunters away from me, shaking his head as he rakes his fingers through his hair over and over again.
It shouldn’t bother me, and I definitely shouldn’t follow after him, but apparently, my feet move on their own. My fingers grip his arm and force him to turn. “Thank you,” I say before I pull him closer and wrap my arms around his bulky frame .
He sighs and kisses my temple. My cheek. My neck. A faint gasp breaks from my lips as a shudder passes through me.
“I want to be able to give you everything,” he says as he rests his forehead against mine. He squeezes my waist, sending a wave of heat washing through me. His hands run up, his fingertips slipping underneath my shirt. “I’m not good at sharing.”
My heart hammers against my chest as my body yearns for him. However, my mind is resistant because of how much he’s hurt me lately. I manage to break away from him, putting distance between us. “Don’t.”
I’m tired of arguing. All I want is to give in, let myself fall, knowing he’ll be there to catch me.
“We need to slow down until everything is settled.”
He huffs as he looks past me. “You still don’t see it, don’t get it. The moment we break the curse, we can go home. Ethan can’t come with us. He isn’t like us .”
Wait, what?