38. Chapter 38
thirty-eight
Ares
L ost souls haunt my sleep. Screams, bones, blood… so much blood. So much death, souls lost for eternity because of a play between the gods.
I couldn’t find anyone for the first few days as I wandered the Dragonspire Mountains and crawled back to Valorcrest where nothing but bones awaited me as my skin was covered in ashes. My body and soul were exhausted, and I could feel that familiar tug at the core of my being, telling me to let go so I can be reborn. I am nothing but weakness, a failure to everyone around me, nothing more than a Netherling at this point as my dragon spirit is broken.
“Ares,” Ethan says, his voice raw and his skin still cracked, unable to heal .
“We have to go,” I mumble, pulling him to his feet and tossing his arm around my shoulders as we move through the forest north of what used to be our home.
There’s no time to be weakened by the events that happened. We need to be strong again to find Rodi. Only then can I make it right.
None of this would have happened if I had let Ethan mark Rodi from the start. I’m sure of that now. I’m sure Hephaestus could never wiggle his way in if we had sealed our bond completely, leaving no room for his.
“Stop.” Ethan coughs, his grip wavering as his knees buckle.
My eyebrows furrow as I hold him steady. Worry hits me like a punch to the stomach, my grip on him tightening as he catches his breath. “What is it? Are you hurt?”
He groans, rubbing his chest, and flakes of ashes fall to the ground. “Stop blaming yourself,” he whispers.
I take a sharp breath. Of course, he’s going to defend me better than I can defend myself. He’s always gone to bat for me, no matter what I’ve done. “But it’s my fault, Ethan.”
He shakes his head. “You couldn’t have known this was going to happen. You would have come around eventually.” A half-smile curls on his cracked lips.
“No, I don’t think I would have,” I mumble under my breath.
“You would. I’ve known you long enough to know that you would. You may be one stubborn bastard, but eventually, you will give in to this fine ass,” he jokes.
My face grows a degree hotter as our eyes meet. We don’t generally talk like this, but perhaps now that he wears my mark, there are no boundaries between us. No ranks.
“If you’re going to be like this, then you can walk by yourself,” I grumble with a cocked eyebrow.
“You do know we have to mate, right?” he says with the same grin as before.
I briefly close my eyes, knowing exactly what he means, knowing his already weak body can’t take the withdrawal from not mating after a mark. Even as we search for a place to lie low, needing to find a way to get Rodi back, we can’t ignore it. All I want is to shift, fly to wherever they are holding her, and take her away. But I can’t. I can’t even shift. I can’t even lift Ethan properly. We’re screwed.
I sigh, pulling my mind back to Ethan. “I know, but your fine ass can’t handle me right now,” I say with a quick wink.
Color rushes to Ethan’s cheeks, and I tug him closer as we continue our way to safety. Our sides press together, heated skin against heated skin, our chests rising and falling heavily in unison.
It’s been ages—well, three lives, to be exact—since I’ve… worked closely with the Sunfire Fang, but I know they are our only shot. I can’t head south to Riversong, already knowing they won’t help me since I killed their last Dominion.
However, dragon law states that you can take the life of the one who touches your rider. And I did just that. Perhaps I could have done it differently, like a lot of things.
East lies the destruction that was once Nythralia, and Slatebane was deserted the last time we were there, and besides, I can’t even get there without passing through Sunfire Fang as I can’t shift.
As the stone ridge comes into sight, I exhale in relief and hide us behind some trees.
“What are you doing? We’re almost there,” Ethan says, trying to get up on his own but failing. He grimaces and lets his back hit the tree trunk with a dull thud, sweat glistening on his brow. Even just walking exhausts him .
I lean back, the bark of the tree scratching into my broken skin. “Let’s rest. We’re safe here. They never cross that ridge on their own, so no one will look for us here.”
I didn’t dare to take Ethan to one of the towns nearby, as I’m sure Hephaestus will have men stationed there, waiting to see if I made it out alive. I refuse to risk his life, especially since I’ve already failed Rodi.
Why can’t I keep the ones I care about safe?
“Why were you siding with Rodi on every turn?” I ask Ethan, crossing my arms and ankles, hoping to get some sleep in a bit.
“You want to do this now?”
I shrug, resting my head back.
“I could never get you to see me, what I am to you. And then, every time I chose her side, you finally saw me. Even as we fought, I was closer to you. Almost as close as that… one night.”
I gulp, peeking down at him. “One night?”
His hand moves quickly, and a tiny rock flicks against my cheek, making me grit my teeth and almost growl at him. “Don’t pretend, Ares. I’m too tired for that. I know you remember. There isn’t enough alcohol in the world to make that night go away.”
I clear my throat. “I tried, though.”
“Oh, I know,” he scoffs.
I sit up, staring at him. “I didn’t let you die.”
A broken laugh comes from Ethan. “You marked me.”
“I did.”
“Because you don’t want to search for another Warden.” He tilts his head, and a growl rumbles in my chest.
He’s so hard-headed, trying to get me to say the things he wants to hear me say. The truth, the words I keep buried so deep within me because I’m nervous to make them heard.
“Because I didn’t want a life without you, it seems.” I shrug my shoulders, trying to play off such deep words. “But we can also use the reason you thought.” I edge back, a grin curling my lips.
“Yours sounds better,” he whispers.
“And you’re not my Warden anymore, Ethan. You wear my mark. You’re my mate, and there’s no taking that back. I know what I did. I know what it means. I just need some time.”
“Okay,” he breathes, and I groan, already feeling another comment coming, knowing him that well.
“Rodi will love it, though.”
I snort, and laughter follows. The sound almost feels foreign at this point. After all the hell that we’ve been through lately, when was the last time we shared a laugh together?
“Oh, that sneaky one sure will love it.”
A cheeky look crosses his face, making his eyes finally show a hint of their usual shine. He gently nudges me, barely having the strength to even shift me an inch. “She got all worked up when we fought in your room and she truly thought we were going to kiss.”
There goes my face heating up again. We’ve done things to an extent, but we haven’t discussed those things. We haven’t talked about toeing the line and exploring undiscovered depths.
Rodi has made a surprising impact on our relationship, but she’s always been a wonderful surprise herself. One I cherish and hope I won’t have to mourn.
I won’t survive it. Neither will Ethan.
“We weren’t,” I say.
“Right, that’s why you kept looking at my lips,” he taunts .
I roll my eyes, my stomach flipping as he peers up at me. I can handle threats on my life, but when Ethan gets flirty, that’s when I start to get nervous. “I wasn’t, Ethan. You did.”
“Sure,” he teases.
As nice as it is to hear his laugh and see his smile again, the air around us still remains tense and uneasy. We’re still stuck in the midst of hell without our mate, but we’re teasing each other, trying to bring some light into this darkness.
“How can you joke around like this?” I ask, truly wondering what’s going on inside his head.
My gaze fixes on his, and the jokes, the taunts, everything fade from his expression. “I can’t think about it because if I do, if I even try to guess what he’s doing to her…” He shakes his head. “I know what we need to do. I know what needs to be done, and then we’ll be strong enough to get her back and kill him.”
I huff. “We can’t kill a god, Ethan.” There’s no way to kill Hephaestus, and if we kill his vessel, Cedric, he’ll just find another one and start this game again.
“That’s the only hope I have, that we do find a way to get rid of him. Hopefully, in a very painful way,” Ethan replies as his eyes narrow in determination, his voice dipping low and dangerous.
We’re weak right now, but what we feel for Rodi is stronger than anything else. That’ll carry us far enough to reach her and Hephaestus.
After that, it’s down to luck or whatever strength we have left to finally take the bastard down once and for all.
“Very painful, indeed.”