Chapter Three
ABBY
MY BEDROOM DOOR creaks open, alerting me to Lill’s presence, and I groan and shove my face into my pillow.
There’s a quiet clicking as she uses her crutches to approach my bed, and I scoot away in a sad attempt to evade her. Weekends are for sleeping in. She knows that, and it’s precisely how I plan to spend my morning.
“Abby,” Lill coos.
I ignore her. She doesn’t seem to take the hint, though, as her crutches clink together and my mattress dips. If she keeps this up, I will donkey-kick her off the bed.
Her sprained ankle be damned.
“Happy Birthday, Abbs,” Lill continues in a singsong voice. “I made pancakes, and you have to eat them while they’re warm.”
I roll onto my back, my eyes still shut, and open my mouth. If she’s going to wake me up at the butt crack of dawn on my birthday, then she better be prepared to hand-feed me. I want the food placed directly into my mouth, and I’d also like for her to sing Gregorian chants while she does it. I expect the royal treatment on my birthday.
Lill huffs. “Your food is in the dining room. I can’t carry it in here.”
I shut my mouth. She needs both her hands to use her crutches.
“Get up,” Lill orders. She pats along the covers until she finds my knee, and she gives it a tight squeeze. “It’s a quarter past nine, and it’s time to join the world of the living.”
Is it really that late? I recently bought blackout curtains, and they’re effective. Lill could tell me it’s the middle of the night and I’d believe her.
I peek open my left eye and peer at Lill. She’s already dressed in black leggings and an oversized sweatshirt, one I’m pretty sure belonged to me at some point. She seems to sense the direction of my thoughts as she subtly turns away, hiding the design on the front.
“These pancakes better be amazing.” I groan, climbing out of bed.
Lill shoots me a venomous look, and I can’t help but laugh. She’s an excellent cook, and she knows it. I sure compliment her food enough, and I’m starting to realize that’s given her a giant ego. I’m happy with that, though. Lill doesn’t have much to get excited about nowadays, and cooking is the one thing she still takes pride in.
I pull on a pair of socks and follow her into the kitchen.
Lill’s made me a birthday breakfast every year since we left for college. Even when we lived in separate dorms, I’d wake up to her barging inside my room with Tupperware containers full of food.
I was usually hungover, and she’d bring the greasiest dishes.
I miss those days.
The smell of cinnamon hits my nose the moment I step out of my room, and my stomach rumbles loudly in response. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day, and I’m beyond pleased when I round the kitchen and see a giant plate of fluffy pancakes sitting on the dining table.
My smile grows when I see the person sitting at the table, impatiently staring at the food. Aaron looks up, a strand of his dark-blond hair falling into his eye. He usually keeps it short, but I assume he’s been too busy for a haircut these past few months.
“Aaron!” I say, hurrying forward. I haven’t seen my brother in weeks—he’s been so busy with school. “How are you?”
He laughs, pulling me in for a tight hug. “Happy Birthday, Abbs! I’m good. I have the morning off, and I figured there’s no better way to spend it than with my little sister and her bossy roommate.”
I pull away from his hug, my lips twitching when I notice his shirt is covered in flour. Lill must have bullied him into helping her cook. I love that.
Lill takes a seat, and I do the same.
“How’s work going?” Aaron asks.
I shrug, not wanting to get into it. The topic stresses me out.
“It’s going,” I say, waving a hand to signal it’s not worth discussing. “Tell me what’s new with you .”
Aaron does. He tells me all about the work he’s been doing, and I pretend to understand when he gets into the details of his thesis. We both pretend not to notice Lill’s rapidly deteriorating health or the fact that she’s only able to eat half a pancake, but I see how his gaze occasionally darts toward her.
He’s concerned, and I’m sure he’ll report this to our parents. They took Lill in after her mother died, accepting parental responsibility and welcoming her into our childhood home without question.
I give it a week at most until they’re trying to host an intervention.
It’s a shame I won’t be here for it. I’m not going to sit around watching Lill wither away and die, even if that means betraying her. It’s become clear that she’s not going to change her mind about letting me into the faerie realm, nor will she go there herself, so I’m taking matters into my own hands.
She’ll probably hate me for it, but at least she’ll be alive to hate me. I’ll take an angry Lill over a dead one any day of the week.
Aaron asks Lill about her life, and I quickly interject to ask about Mom’s recent skin biopsy. She called me yesterday to tell me the results were negative, but I pretend not to have heard.
Lill doesn’t have anything going on in her life, and Aaron’s innocent question will make things uncomfortable.
Lill squeezes my knee under the table, silently thanking me for changing the subject, before forcing herself to take another bite of food. I’m not sure if Aaron picked up on the hint, but he doesn’t ask Lill any more questions about her recent activity.
Aaron looks at his watch. “I need to head out soon.”
I’m painfully aware this might be the last time I ever see him.
“I appreciate you stopping by,” I force myself to say. “It’s always so nice seeing you, even if it’s only for an hour.”
We rise, and I ignore Lill’s frown as I carry all our dishes to the sink. I’m cleaning up, no questions asked.
I banish Lill to the living room and see Aaron out before pulling a bottle of vodka out of the freezer. It’s about half full, which should be more than enough.
Lill rarely drinks, especially not lately. She gets unimaginable hangovers, and it takes her days to recover. She’s also a people pleaser. If I tell her I want to share a few drinks to celebrate my birthday, she’ll force them down.
Guilt makes my palms sweaty and my hands shake, but I ignore it. A hangover isn’t enough to kill Lill, at least not yet, and she can drink some of her special delysum tea if it makes her too sick. She can drink as much as she wants because I’m getting her more.
I don’t care if my plan is manipulative and cruel. It’s going to keep Lill alive.
I grab two shot glasses, filling one with vodka and another with water. Then I pull orange juice from the fridge and fill two cups. I pour a healthy serving of vodka into Lill’s cup.
Day drinking is out of character for me, but if I intend to get her drunk and convince her to open a portal to the faerie realm, I’d like it done during the daytime.
I have no idea what to expect in the faerie realm, but just about every survival guide I’ve ever read says that nighttime is the most dangerous. That’s when many big animals come out to hunt, and the weather can drop to unsafe levels.
I need to enter the faerie realm when there are still a few hours of light left. That’ll give me time to collect my bearings and find a safe place to sleep. That’s assuming time works the same there as it does here, though.
I’m making a lot of guesses, but it’s the best I can do. Lill isn’t exactly the most forthcoming with information.
“I’ve got beverages!” I grab our drinks and carry them into the living room.
Lill’s eyes go comically wide, and her expression has a noticeable twinge of fear as she glances between me and the shot glasses. It takes everything in me to pretend not to notice. If I could think of any other way to do this, I would.
Lill’s stubborn, but she’s always been susceptible to peer pressure when she drinks.
She’s spoken at length about how she misses the beautiful scenery in the faerie realm, and I plan to prey on that. When she’s nice and drunk, I will convince her to open a portal and take a peek. It’ll just be for a second—just a quick peek.
I placed a backpack beside the couch last night, and when Lill’s distracted, I’m going to grab it and sprint through the portal. I packed everything I think I might need, from shoes and food to a flashlight, water bottle, and a knife.
The faeries shouldn’t want to hurt me, but it’s always good to be prepared. Lill says they like humans, but she’s been gone for twenty years. A lot can happen in that time.
“I’m not so sure about that…” Lill says, still eyeing the drinks.
I set the glasses on the table, careful to remember which one has alcohol and which one doesn’t, before doing the same with our shots. Clearing my throat, I lift the one without alcohol and throw it back. Then I pretend to wince.
“Come on,” I urge her. “It’s my birthday.”
Lill looks scared, her lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed, and I fight the urge to cry as I nudge the second shot glass toward her.
“Birthdays only come around once a year, you know?” I say. “And I don’t know how many I have left with you.”
It’s a low blow, but it does the trick. Lill’s face falls, and she reaches for the shot glass a second later. I rock back on my heels and grab my orange juice, sipping as she throws back the shot. She immediately gags, and I anxiously pick at the skin of my fingers as she grabs her glass of juice and chugs.
She grimaces when she realizes it isn’t a chaser.
“Fuck, Abby,” she curses, glaring at the orange juice. “You’re trying to get me drunk.”
I put a healthy amount of vodka in her glass, and I let out a forced laugh before grabbing our shot glasses and heading into the kitchen to pour more. Two will be enough to get her tipsy, and the mixed drink should push her right over the edge into drunk—especially since all she has in her system are a few nibbles of pancake.
If I play my cards right, I should be in the faerie realm by noon.
When I return to the living room with refilled shot glasses, Lill shoots me a curious look. I give her a beaming smile in response.
“Are you okay?” she asks. Her voice is filled with genuine concern. “Is it work? Abby, please don’t think you need to stay there to take care of me. I can see how miserable that place makes you, and—”
“I’m not upset about work,” I say, cutting her off. I doubt I’ll still have a job by the time I return, but that’s a problem for future Abby to deal with.
Lill’s thoughtfulness worsens my guilt, but it only further encourages me to continue with my plan. She’s the best fucking person I’ve ever known, and this will benefit her in the long run. She deserves to live a long, full life, and I’ll be damned if I don’t do everything in my power to give that to her.
“I just want to hang out with you like the old days,” I lie. “I miss them.”
Lill presses her lips together, but she doesn’t further argue. I can tell she doesn’t entirely believe me, but if she thinks this is about work, she won’t push. She never pushes me to speak before I’m ready.
I hand her the shot, and she shivers before throwing it back. I do the same with mine, pretending to wince as the refreshing water slides down my throat.
“I’m cold,” I mumble, setting down the glass. I take another sip of my juice, prompting Lill to do the same, before disappearing into my room to put on my trusty dark blue sweatshirt.
I keep my black T-shirt on below it, wanting to be prepared for the weather in the faerie realm. If it’s cold, I’ll at least have two layers on. If it’s hot, I can take off my sweatshirt. It’s the best I can do without drawing suspicion.
A letter explaining everything is in my closet, and I set it on my bed before pulling out a printed sheet containing all the login information for our shared bills and my personal bank account. I put my credit and debit cards on top, wanting to make sure Lill finds them.
I’m not sure how long it’ll take me to obtain delysum tea and get a portal back home, but I’ve saved enough money to support Lill for several months. It’s the best I can do on such short notice, but I don’t want to wait any longer.
I’ve also left very explicit instructions to call Aaron should she need any help in my absence, which I hope she listens to.
Lill’s eyes are glassy when I return to the living room, and she fiddles around on her phone with more concentration than usual. The alcohol is already taking effect.
“Do you want to play a card game?” I ask.
Lill nods. “I’d love to.”
She sets her phone on her lap and shoots me a wide smile, and I wipe my sweaty palms on my sweater before reaching for our deck of cards.