Chapter 33 #2
“You’re not getting one. You’re not huggable. But I’ll get you a nice bottle of booze.”
“Don Julio Seventy Cristalino.”
“What the fuck is that?”
“Tequila. They sell it at the specialty liquor store on Broadway, Fulton Center.”
“You checked?”
“I checked. I figured you’d owe me a bottle sooner or later. G’night, Maxie. You need another kick in the ass between now and Tuesday, you call me.”
“You’re still a pain in my ass.”
“Yeah, but you like anal, so take it, mate, take it.”
He hangs up, leaving me staring at the phone, shaking my head.
I put all my phones on the charging pad and silence them, but set emergency alerts for Logan, Manny, Mac, Ty, and, after a moment’s deliberation, De Leon.
Then I set my security and climb the stairs into my loft.
I stand for a minute in the doorway into my bedroom, soaking in the scene.
Cynnie’s curled in the middle of her hive, naked under one of the soft, fleece blankets after I gave her a bath before putting her to bed.
Her hair is spread in an inky cloud over the pillows.
She’s holding one of the bigger buzzies, with several more right at hand if their queen needs them.
Her face is relaxed. No tear-streaks on her cheeks; no crystal glitter on her lashes.
My bumble is safe and happy in the space I’ve made for her.
Something pinches at my heart. Understanding. Sympathy. Logan must watch Emily like this. He must feel the same things I’m feeling. What he’s tried to do is inhuman, impossible. But I understand the urge.
If Cynnie’s brother or grandmother shows up at my door tomorrow morning, what will I do?
Will I let them into Cynnie’s safe space the way Logan let Miranda in?
Will I let them confront her, claw at her with their words, threaten her the way Miranda did Emily?
Am I helping Cynnie get past tonight and start repairing her relationships with her family if I let them in, or am I helping them hurt her?
The pinch twists as I understand Logan’s dilemma better than ever before.
I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know what I’ll do if Cynnie’s family shows up.
I know that, for tonight, I’ve created the safe space she needs to retreat and regroup.
Tomorrow? All I can do is take it as it comes.
I can ask Cynnie what she wants. I can make sure I understand what she needs.
And I can throw all my considerable resources and skills at making sure she gets it.
I reach into the hive and rub Cynnie’s calf until she wakes. Blinking, she sits up and looks at me. “Oppa?”
“Can I come in, baby?”
“Yeth-yeth.” She holds her hands out to me.
I climb into the hive, pushing buzzies out of my way in a striped tidal wave, until I can curl around her.
“Iz late?” she asks as I stretch out. “I sleeps for a long time?”
“It’s a little after one. You slept for about two hours.”
She yawns and snuggles in. “You’z come to bed now?”
“Uh-huh. Do you want to sleep in your hive or up in the bed with me?”
“With Oppa, always.”
I kiss the tip of her nose. “Come on then, my bumble baby.”
I back out of the cage and help her out. She wriggles her adorable ass at me as she climbs up into my bed and dives under the covers. Before I shed my clothes, I take a jewelry box out of dresser and pop it on the nightstand. Then I jump onto the bed and cage Cynnie with my arms and legs.
She giggles and beams up at me.
“Hey, baby.”
“Hi, Oppa.”
“I love you, baby.”
“Still, Oppa?”
“Still. Hasn’t changed in two hours.”
She wriggles happily. “I wants to say it back, but not because you said it first.”
“Then you’re never going to get to say it.”
“What? Whyz not?”
“Because I’m going to say it all the time.”
She wraps her arms around my chest and nips my chin. “I love you, Oppa.”
“Uht-oh. Now what do I say? I can’t say it back when you said it first.”
She giggles and nips my chin some more. Then she sinks back against the pillows and looks at me with those deep, dark eyes. “You’z say I go home tomorrow?”
“No, I definitely don’t say that.”
“You’z say I go home the day after?”
“No, I don’t say that, either. I asked you to move in with me before everything tonight, baby.
Nothing’s changed for me. I want to spend every day and every night with you.
I want you to stay with me for as long as you want to, and then stay one day more so I can change your mind about leaving. Do you want that, my bumble?”
Her soft mouth trembles before she presses it to mine. “I wants.”
I prop myself on my forearm so I don’t crush her while I run my fingertips along her collar. “Remember when we were shopping and I told you I’d gotten you a collar?”
She nods, her eyes sheening.
“Would you like to see it?”
“Pease, Oppa.”
I shift to my side, snag the jewelry box with my fingertips, and drag it into the bed. “Open it, baby.”
Her hands shake as she pops the box open. Her breath catches as she runs her fingertips along the chain of enameled daisies and tiny diamonds. “Oppa. This is the one I liked. You bought this for me . . . ‘fore you even went to England?”
“I did.”
“I love it.” Her eyes lift to mine. “I love you.”
I grin and kiss her. “You’re taking up all the ‘I love yous.’ You have to leave some for me.”
She grins. “I take them allz.”
“I’ll steal them all back from you.”
She rubs the chain again. “You really collar me?”
“Would you like a ceremony like Emily’s having?” In just a few hours.
She scrunches up her face. “Maybe?”
“Maybe yes?”
“Maybe just you and me and a party later?”
“I like the sound of that. I want to put it on you now, baby. Tomorrow, we’ll get the chain reinforced so you can wear it all the time, but tonight, I want to see my collar around your throat.”
Her smile trembles even as it widens. “Pease.”
“Love you so much, my baby.”
“No-noes, you beat me to it.”
“It’s a race. Oppa’s faster.”
“Never. I sting you, you trip and fall, I win.”
I kiss her until she can’t breathe, then take the chain out of the box and slide it around her soft throat. “My baby.”
“My Oppa.”
“You’ll be my baby until I release you from this collar.”
“You’z be my Oppa until you take it from me. Love you so much.”
“I love you. Do we need a contract, baby? I built things like taking care of yourself and communicating with me into our app, but if you want a contract, I’ll get Logan to help me with one as soon as he comes back from Niagara Falls.”
“No, Oppa, I love our app. Helps me so much. I feel happy when I use it. You’z feel happy when you get a chibi from me?”
“I love it. It makes me feel like I’m doing a good job as your Oppa.”
“You iz.”
“Okay. The contracts Logan sent me had punishments and limits in it. If I build those into the app, will that make you feel safe with me?”
“I’z feel safe with you now. Never felt safe like this before. Not with anybody. But you put punishments and limits in the app and then I know what they iz. And you let me add stings to the app. Every time Oppa’s naughty, I giz him a sting.”
I chuckle. “That’s a deal. Baby, I know today was hard, but I’m not sorry it happened. It got everything out in the open. I know you’ll need time before you talk to your family, but I’ll do everything I can to make sure you have that time, and I’ll be with you every step of the way.”
She frames my face with her soft hands. “Oppa. You’z talk to them tonight?”
“I did. I talked to your dad and Jun and your grandma. Your dad was pretty chill. Jun and Baachan, not so much.”
She makes a soft, sad noise. “They never chill. They angry? Yell at you?”
“Yes.”
“I’z sorry, Oppa.”
“You never have to apologize for them, my bumble baby. They should apologize to you.”
“Doan think they ever do that, Oppa.”
“I think they will one day, and I’ll wait with you for as long as it takes.”
She strokes my cheeks. “Even if it takes forever?”
“Even if it takes forever.”
“Not a burden on you? Not ungrateful? Not unworthy?”
“Not a burden. A gift.”
She beams. “A gift?”
“A big gift.”
“Big gift? Jiggly-bottom gift?”
“The biggest, jiggly-bottom gift in the entire world. Roll over and let me bite that jiggly bottom.”
She giggles wildly. “No, Oppa.”
But she immediately rolls over and I dive under the covers to get a mouthful of that infinitely tempting roundness.