Chapter 16
sixteen
MAC
Is there anything as special, as precious, as worth fighting and dying for, as the moment your woman gives you everything?
Amy held so much back from me. Her trust. Huge, life-altering secrets like our daughter’s true parentage. The deep insecurities and anger that drove her. I know that I stayed in the service long after I should have left because it gave me something to fight for, when Amy wouldn’t give me anything.
Bren gave me everything tonight. She didn’t say the words, but I know what we shared.
She let me in completely. She let my control calm and steady her when she was on the verge of flying into a panic.
She let my comfort ease her anxiety. She admitted her weakness.
She let me help. I’ve never felt closer to anyone, stronger, or more worthy of the gift of her submission.
And because nothing is as big a turn on as Bren’s submission, my damn dick has been hard enough to hammer nails since she called herself my snuggleslut and curled up against me.
Spanking her would normally have gotten my dick’s interest but that spanking was not about sex.
It was about fixing her fucking up our power-exchange.
Everything since I brought her back under control has been about sex, at least for my little head, but that’s not what Bren needs right now.
A Navy buddy who asked me about the lifestyle said he could get on board with a woman who obeyed his every command, gave him daily blow jobs, and offered up her ass.
What he didn’t get was that to be the man giving those commands, you also have to be the man who is willing to sacrifice sex in favor of taking care of your submissive when that’s what she needs.
Right now, Bren needs me to be the Dom who massages away all the knots that tension has built in her neck and shoulders, the Dom who rubs cream into the impressive spread of bruises coming up on the backs of her legs, the Dom who cuddles her while she draws the portrait—of Elvis as it turns out—her employee needs for tomorrow, and then redraws it twice more when she’s not satisfied with the first attempt.
She needs me to be the Dom who calms her and soothes her and tells her it’s going to be okay until she finally falls asleep.
And then she needs me to be the Dom who tucks her under the covers, slips out of the bedroom quietly, and walks downstairs to find Logan and figure out what the fuck we’re going to do about Mr. Move On and her missing book.
I hear Emily before I reach Logan’s office door.
She’s talking in an almost sing-song voice.
I’ve heard this before and know she’s dictating one of her books.
Logan should be free. I still knock, because it’s polite.
Not because I still feel like a guest in this house.
Since turning down Rolling Blue, my future has become cemented here, in this house, with these people I care about.
Bren said one of her fears was that I’d already had my family and wouldn’t want another, but I’ve never wanted anything more than this second family I’ve found.
“Come in,” Logan calls.
I join him at the desk and find he’s already working on the problem. Max’s bearded face is on Logan’s computer screen and Logan’s taking notes as Max speaks.
“. . . into the text traffic between Mad Bob and the Knights. They’re not even smart enough to use encryption, so, definitely not Aryan Nation, because those fuckers use encryption even Homeland can’t break.
Got a text to Mad Bob at thirteen-fifty that says ‘package obtained.’ Package.
” Max snorts. “Fucking wannabees. Then there’s a text from Mad Bob back to that number which says ‘package received.’ I figure it’s either at his shop or his apartment near JFK. Time to begin our reconnoiter, buddy.”
“Hold your horses, Max,” I say, pulling one of the leather-padded, guest chairs around to sit next to Logan. I really need to bring my desk from my apartment. “This isn’t Die Hard. No reconnoitering until we’re sure there’s no blow-back on Brenna.”
“While I hate to agree with Convo,” Logan says, his grin sly and sharp, the fucker.
“We need to be certain these assholes aren’t involved in something else.
Drugs? Money-laundering? They could be running a lot through Mad Bob’s shop.
We need to be certain we’re not dealing with something over our heads before we go in. ”
Max scratches his beard. “What if I go? I’m not the public face of LMM. There’s no connection between me and Missing Ink. Unless they’re following us, and I’ve seen no sign they are, then there’s no way for them to know who I am.”
I immediately begin shaking my head. Max is a truly scary operative when it comes to tech, but on the ground, he has all the subtlety of the proverbial bull in a china shop.
“I’ll check Mad Bob’s shop to see if any more of Bren’s designs are there. I have an excuse for going back since the girl on the desk has seen me once.”
Logan taps his pen on his notepad. “Mac, if they’ve been at Missing Ink any time in the past week, they’ll have seen you with her.”
“I didn’t leave my eyes and ears at Mayport Base, Lo. Why do you think I’ve spent so much time on the couch in her shop? No one’s been casing the place, and no one’s been following her. These guys are amateurs.”
“Amateurs can inflict the same amount of damage as a pro, Mac. They just have to get lucky instead of being good.” He runs his hand through his hair. “If you’re set on this, at least let me wire you so if it goes bad you’ve got immediate back up.”
“No argument from me,” I say.
“You’ve got your concealed carry for New York?”
“No, hasn’t come through yet, and I’m not walking into a store on a Saturday morning carrying a piece. I’ve got pepper spray.”
Logan shakes his head. “Mad Bob’s more likely to be there on the weekends. Let’s wait until Monday.”
“No, we’re doing this tomorrow. If there’s any chance of getting the book back for her straight away, we’re taking it.
” Am I playing the hero? Probably. Doesn’t make me wrong.
“Mad Bob might be more likely to be there tomorrow, but there are more likely to be other people in the shop and on the street as well.”
“You’re killing me,” Logan grumbles. “Let me text Manny to make sure he can be there. You’re not doing this without real back up, Mac.”
“I don’t consider you fake back up, Lo, but I’d be happy to have Manny there, too.”
“Well, that’s something.” Logan pulls out his phone and taps out a text. His phone immediately beeps in response. “Manny says he’s free until noon.”
“Shop’s listed as being open at oh-ten-hundred,” Max says.
“Let’s give him a half-hour to get busy and I’ll go in.”
“That’s a plan,” Max says.
Logan groans. “Can we go over this some more before the sacrificial lamb trots into the den of Aryans? Max, do you have a floor plan of the shop? Can you add Manny to the call so we can strategize?”
I clap Logan on the shoulder. “What would we do without you, son?”
“Get to bed earlier,” Logan grumbles. “Emily, don’t think I’ve taken my eye off the time. You have five minutes.”
Despite the fact that she has a large headset on and is talking into it, Emily doesn’t miss a beat. “Yes, Daddy.”
“If you need to put her to bed, we can reconvene in the morning—”
“Emmy knows the routine. She can get started by herself and I’ll go up in thirty.”
When we’re still strategizing thirty-five minutes later, Logan gets visibly twitchy. Other than talking through a couple of worst-case scenarios, I don’t think we’ve made any headway in the last ten minutes, so I call time.
“Boys, I think we have a plan.” I clap Logan on the shoulder. “Let’s call it a night.”
The tension slides off his face and he closes his notebook. “Sounds good. See you guys at oh-nine-thirty?”
Max and Manny nod before Max abruptly cuts off the call.
“Still hasn’t learned how to say goodbye, has he?” I observe to Logan.
“Nope. He sucks at hello, too. You ever peg him for a Dom?”
I shake my head. I liked all of the men in my unit well enough, but Logan was the only one I openly discussed my sex life with.
“What made you realize he was one?” I ask as we leave his office, shutting off the lights and checking the front door security before Logan leads the way up the stairs.
“Seeing him interact with Emily. I had my suspicions before then. He was always more interested in kink than a vanilla would be. But as soon as I saw him try to protect Emmy, I was sure of it. Daddy Dom if I ever met one.”
“Cynnie’s a sweetie. Max mentioned you introduced them.”
“Yeah, Emily bribed him into coming to our littles playgroup and maneuvered them into playing Twister together. Max never stood a chance.”
I chuckle. “And she looks so innocent.”
Logan snorts. “You know what they say about appearances.”
“I do, son. I surely do. I’m lucky I met Bren before Emmy decided to play matchmaker.”
Logan turns to me as he reaches the landing at the top of the stairs. “You honestly think she didn’t?”
That catches me off-guard. “Tell me your little did not set me and Bren up.”
“I could, but it’d be a lie. Pretty sure she began planning it during our collaring ceremony. She mentioned being disappointed you didn’t notice Bren. You should’ve seen how fast she pounced when you mentioned you wanted to cover your mermaid.”
“That little—”
“Monkey. I know. She thinks up happy endings for a living. Matchmaking’s live-action roleplay for her.”
“I’m not sure if I should be annoyed or amused.”
“Go with amused. She’s only got her friend’s best interests at heart. Otherwise, I’d paddle her for you.”
“Paddle her anyway.”
“Oh, I will.” He grins as he turns to head down the hallway to the master bedroom. “Just not as hard.”
I slip back into the bedroom and begin shedding the sweats I put on. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Bren’s slender hand flip back the bedsheets.
“Sorry if I woke you, sweetheart,” I whisper.