Chapter 18 #2
I unbuckle her from the stroller and hug her. She wasn’t at risk and she isn’t really my baby but I need to hug her, so I do.
“She’s psychic,” I tell Bren.
“Huh?”
“She’s been quiet all morning. She knew this was coming.”
Bren tilts her head to look at me. “Sure.”
“Just go with it. Psychic Baby.”
“Qu’est-ce que c’est. Fa-fa-fa-fa, fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa, better run-run-run-run-run-run-run away,” Bren sing-songs.
I shake my head at her. “That’s Psycho Killer.”
“Same thing,” Bren says, slinging her arm around my shoulder.
She snags the stroller and pulls it after us as she leads me through her shop and upstairs into what used to be her apartment.
Master Mac’s daughter is living in it now and what used to be a living room with big storage spaces has been opened up and transformed into Master Mac’s daycare.
Bren’s painted bright murals on the walls.
There are play mats on the floor, a row of swings for the babies, a quiet tent for naps and time-outs, and a big, central table piled with coloring supplies where the first activity of the day is set out, ready for the kids who are already circling the table like tiny vultures.
Mac and his daughter, Naomi, are smiling, talking to the parents as they sign in their kids on a big white-board mounted on the wall near the door. Naomi’s already got a baby in her arms and the excited squealing filling the room makes up for Livvy’s silence.
I stay for a while, making sure Livvy’s settled, helping Naomi sort out bottles for the babies’ mid-morning feeding.
The other two babies are older than Livvy.
One’s already crawling a little. Mac organizes the kids like a military unit, which is no surprise, and gets the three who don’t want to color playing a game of “Simon Says” that has everyone giggling.
I don’t realize Bren’s waiting for me until Naomi takes Livvy out of my arms and casts a pointed glance at the door. I startle and trot over to her. She wraps her arm around my shoulders.
“Come downstairs and have a cup of coffee with me.”
“Tea.”
She rolls her eyes. “Tea.”
I wave to Naomi and Mac and let Bren escort me downstairs.
“Was I hovering?” I ask her.
“Like a stealth bomber.”
“Sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize to me.” Bren nudges me toward her office chair.
She casts a longing glance at the fancy coffee machine Mac bought her before she starts up the little electric kettle in the corner of her office.
“I just want to make sure you’re okay after that confrontation with Bitch-face. ”
I pinch my lips between my teeth to keep from giggling at her name for Miranda. Daddy would not approve.
“I’m okay,” I say honestly. Would I be okay if Daddy and I hadn’t worked so hard on my insecurities? If he hadn’t made the rules so clear the other night? Maybe not. But I’m unshakable in Daddy’s love.
“You looked like a goddamn Valkyrie standing between Miranda and that stroller. Everyone who saw you was scared of you.”
I don’t think Miranda was scared of me but I did feel fierce.
“Is it wrong for me to feel a little sorry for her?” I ask.
Bren hands me a steaming mug and perches on the edge of the desk. “Look, we all love your empathy, Em but I think it’s wasted on the Mir-bitch. She absolutely would not have had any for you if things had gone the other way.”
“I know.” I blow on my tea to cool it before taking a sip. Ouch, still too hot. “I just can’t imagine how she’s feeling. She’s lost everything.”
“She deserves it.”
“Right,” I agree. “But I just worry a little about what losing everything might drive her to.”
“It might drive her to taking a good look at where her bad decisions have led her and turning her shit around. Although personally, I don’t see that happening. People like her won’t ever see themselves as being in the wrong.”
I wrinkle my nose, unable to imagine that level of certainty. Maybe that’s how Daddy feels? I’ll have to ask him but I don’t think so. Daddy asks for input on too many of his decisions to have that level of certitude.
“You didn’t look in need of rescuing,” Bren says. “But I’ve got your back. If you need me to kick Miranda’s ass, just say the word.”
I giggle at the thought. “I don’t think so. Daddy wouldn’t approve.”
“Actually, he was fine with it.”
Daddy agreed to physical violence? The spot in my chest that’s been warm since I looked up into Miranda’s blue eyes and felt serene and confident in my Daddy’s love warms a little more.
“Well, it’s not necessary,” I assure Bren. “I had it covered.”
“I saw.” She leans over and tinks her cup against mine. “You handled that bitch like a boss. Proud of you.”
My eyes sting and I blink the sensation away. “You are?”
“Sure.” Bren shrugs. “I’ve had my own run ins with exes from Hell.
Mac’s ex is in the running for world’s biggest bitch.
I’ve had more than one unfriendly conversation with her.
But I wasn’t constrained by the rules you live with.
And I knew if Amy got really up in my face, one good right hook would knock her right off her Louboutins.
Miranda’s got five inches and probably twenty-five pounds on you.
I’m not saying you couldn’t take her but I’d need to get you working on a bag for a couple of weeks first.”
I giggle at the thought. “Bruiser baby.”
Bren snorts. “Anyway, you dealt with her well and I know it can’t have been easy, so good job, and if you ever need backup, call me. I got you, babe.”
“Thanks.”
I stay until Bren has to get ready for her first client, chatting about the book we’re doing together, my ongoing war with Master Mac for control of the kitchen, and a scene Bren’s salivating about that Mac’s promised her.
It’s a full-on abduction and cage scene.
Mac’s planning it for the weekend before Thanksgiving and Bren’s vibrating with anticipation.
I walk briskly back through the East Village. It’s gotten cold and even though I’m wrapped up well in a coat, gloves, and scarf, the wind stings my cheeks and makes the tip of my nose go numb.
While I walk, I think over the confrontation with Miranda. I always overthink things like this, turning them over in my mind for days, coming up with comebacks that didn’t even occur to me in the moment.
But today, there’s nothing that makes me prickle with embarrassment. There’s nothing I would have done differently if I had a do-over.
When I walk into the house, I hear Daddy still on the phone with Max. I take off my clothes, fold them, and leave them on the rack by the door. Then I walk into Daddy’s office and kneel by his chair.
“Uh, I think that’s it for now, Max,” Daddy says.
I smile to myself at the sudden gruffness of his voice. Daddy likes seeing me naked and kneeling.
“Emmy just come in and take her clothes off?” Max asks.
I giggle.
“Bye, mate,” Daddy says. “Email me with anything else.”
“Will do.” Max chuckles as he hangs up.
Daddy swivels in his chair and puts his big, bare feet on either side of my knees. His warm hand settles on the top of my head.
“Hello, baby.”
“Hi, Daddy.”
“Something you want to tell me?”
“Um-hmm. Miranda was waiting for me outside Bren’s shop. I told her to go away. She did. Livvy’s a psychic baby.”
“She, um, did you say Livvy’s psychic?”
“I did. I mean, how else do you account for her being so quiet this morning? As soon as she saw Miranda, she began crying, which is probably because she still identifies Miranda with nursing and babies cry to get the attention of the person nursing them but still, totally psychic.”
“Okay, we’ll come back to that. Tell me how seeing Miranda made you feel, baby doll.”
“Warm.”
“Warm? Could you explain that a little more?”
“My chest felt warm. Little bit adrenaline. Lots knowing I was safe and loved and she couldn’t hurt me or Livvy.”
“Baby,” Logan breathes. He pats his thighs. “Come up. Daddy needs to hold you.”
I climb up into his lap and wrap myself around him.
“I hate that she confronted you,” Daddy murmurs to me, tucking my face into his neck.
I snuggle into him, taking big sniffs of his clean clothes and Wolfy Daddy aftershave.
“I know but I wasn’t scared. I thought about how you were just a button away.
If I’d yelled, Bren would have come to help me.
But I didn’t need it. I was a strong white dragon protecting my . . . um, protecting my dragon-kin.”
“Oh, baby girl, I love that so much.” Daddy squeezes me tight. “That’s a good visualization. You are a strong white dragon. You were safe. You are loved.”
“She doesn’t scare me anymore.”
“I’m sorry she ever did. Did she say anything awful?”
I shake my head, nuzzling in. “Nope, just asked me to let her nurse her baby. She said Livvy needed her. But she doesn’t. Livvy’s safe and loved, too. She’s getting every immunological advantage. I felt strong saying no.”
“The only thing Miranda offers is instability and neglect, sweetheart. I hope you know that.”
I rub my palm up and down the smooth cotton of his nice sweater.
“I believe that, Daddy. You haven’t told me what you had on her that got you custody and I’m okay with not knowing.
I know you have good reasons for not telling me.
But I also know it must have been awful and it must have had something to do with her fitness as a parent to convince the judge to give you full custody.
I feel sorry for her but I also know you’ve done the right thing getting Livvy away from her. ”
“Emmy, your belief in me is everything,” Daddy chokes. “It humbles me.” He holds me in silence for a long moment. “If you want me to tell you what I used to get custody of Livvy I will but I honestly don’t want those thoughts in your head, baby.”
“Nope, I’m good.”
He sighs. “I love you so much, baby. I’m so proud of you. I’m so grateful to have you in my life.”
“Samesies, Daddy.”
He chuckles. “What reward can I give my little wonder, hmm? Would you like a good girl pussy spanking now and a big scene tomorrow night at Blunts?”
I bounce in his lap. “Always up for those, Daddy.”
“That’s my enthusiastic little girl. Let me clear off the desk, then my amazing little love is going to bend over and get her ass up so Daddy has a good, clear target.”
“Yes, Daddy!”
Laughing, soft and wicked, Daddy helps me off his lap and starts moving everything off his desk.