Chapter 22
twenty-two
EMILY
Once Livvy and I are tucked up in Daddy’s arms, I tip my head up and whisper in Daddy’s ear, “True asked if there was a lock on the bathroom door. Do you think she’s being abused?”
“I don’t want to jump to conclusions until she tells us more, sweetheart,” Daddy responds.
“But feeling safe is very important to her, and people who have never felt unsafe aren’t as single-mindedly focused on being safe, so I think it’s a good bet something that makes her fear for her physical safety is going on. ”
“I didn’t expect her to be so young, Daddy,” I admit.
“She’s told us she’s nearly sixteen but she could be lying.”
She’s a small sixteen if that’s how old she is but I was an extremely small sixteen, so I shouldn’t question her.
“I hate that she’s so young and so alone, Daddy.”
Logan sighs. “Baby, I’m concerned for her, too but this isn’t something we need to take on right now.”
He’s right. We’ve got a lot going on. Still.
“We could just be her friends. And take her to see the Rexes this afternoon with Livvy?”
Daddy chuckles. “Yes, we can do that, baby doll. Mac and I probably need naps first, though.”
“You could nap while we watch a movie.” After he nods, I add, “She said she knows I’m a little. She asked me about it. Was I right about her being a subbie?”
“Uh-huh. I had to explain that Mac and I are Doms but we’re not her Doms. She’s having some trouble getting her head around that. She thinks she’s looking for a Dom but I think she’s just searching for a sense of safety.”
“Those things aren’t mutually exclusive, Daddy.”
He stretches the arm he’s got around my shoulders until he can reach around and tap the tip of my nose. “Cheeky monkey. I know they’re not. I think she’s conflating them. But it’s moot. She’s too young to submit to anyone, no matter how much she wants to.”
Being too young to do something legally and needing it with your whole heart are totally different things.
I shift around so I can stroke his chest. “Please don’t take this the wrong way. I don’t want to dredge up old hurts. But you had domly-feelings really young—”
“I didn’t act on them,” Daddy says, his lips thinning down to a white line.
“You didn’t act on all parts of them,” I say, drawing a distinction I’ve thought about a lot, particularly watching Daddy interact with his sister.
“Not on the sexual parts. But I think the line between you as Lizbeth’s big brother and you as a dominant is thin, Daddy.
I’m not saying it’s bad. I see caretaking as a spectrum.
Lizbeth’s told me you were even tougher on her with rules like doing her homework straight after school and her bedtime and her curfew when she got older than your mom and dad.
She said your parents never had to punish her when she did silly things like eat too much Halloween candy or got caught texting her friends past her bedtime because you would give her the cold shoulder for days until she apologized and promised she’d never do it again.
You were being a good big brother, enforcing healthy habits. But you were also topping her, Daddy.”
Logan’s jaw flexes and I know I’m getting close to his line. This is still a touchy subject for him since he feels so very guilty about the thoughts he had about his sister.
I take his free hand and squeeze his fingers between mine.
“I know this is wrapped up in your feeling that dominance and submission is sexual. But for lots of people, it’s not.
It wasn’t for me and Matthew and although that became problematic by the end, at the beginning it was good and healthy and helped me heal after my divorce. Please can you see it that way?”
“I’ll think about it,” he grunts.
With anyone else, I’d feel he was giving me the brush-off.
But not my Daddy. He will think about it.
He’ll turn it over and over and in a week or two, he’ll mention it during Knee Time or when we’re having a postcoital cuddle.
Daddy’s a deep feeler. He’ll suck my words into his heart.
I hope they’ll assuage some of his guilt.
I also hope they’ll help him see that True’s submissive needs could be met, even at her age, without crossing any line.
“So, if she’s okay with littleness and understands about dominance and submission, could we make the trip to see the Rexes an outing for the playgroup?” I ask, moving away from the touchy subject.
“Sure. Max has already asked to meet her but he and Cynnie are doing something with her stepmother and dad today.”
Oh, goodie. Cynnie’s been estranged from her family for months after she broke away from them to be with Max.
The only family member who has supported Cynnie’s independence is her stepmother.
They’ve been having meals and outings frequently to help Cynnie’s stepmother get to know Max.
Cynnie mentioned during our trip to the corn maze that her stepmother was trying to get Cynnie’s dad to join them for a meal.
I’ll call her later to find out how it went.
“I’ll put it in the chat,” I say.
Daddy grins suddenly. “What you’re really asking is whether I think it’s okay for True to meet Sammi.”
“Pretty much, Daddy.”
He chuckles. “Yeah, I’m actually more concerned about what Sammi might do to the museum than what he might say to True.”
“There aren’t any bunnies at the museum,” I point out.
Sammi’s been banned from zoos across the Tri-State area for his . . . exuberance. We’ve had to put a “look with your eyes, not with your hands” rule in place with him for the Blunts’ therapy bunnies.
Daddy raises his eyebrows. “Bones. Big bones. Sharp, pointy bones.”
“Fossilized bones, Daddy. Even Sammi would have a hard time—”
“No, don’t finish that thought. You’re tempting fate. I’m having visions of Sammi spinning around the museum clinging to a T-Rex vertebrae like that scene from Jurassic Park.”
I burst into giggles. “He wouldn’t.”
Daddy tips his head. “Not convinced, little girl.”
I don’t think he would. But taking Sable’s walking harness and strapping it to Sammi’s wrist for the day wouldn’t be the worst idea, either.
My faith in the power of blanket forts and Disney movies slips a little when True watches all of Brave in my tent with its twinkly lights and still doesn’t give up the goods.
It worked on Bren when she and Master Mac were going through it and I honestly thought there wasn’t a tougher nut to crack in the whole world.
But True’s even more guarded than Brenna.
By the time we’ve finished the movie and fielded five hundred questions—mostly from Sammi—in the Littles’ Army chat about what we’re going to do at the museum, she still hasn’t told us her real name or who her social worker is.
Daddy’s upstairs napping but I can foresee this ruining our afternoon.
Nothing should ruin visiting the Rexes.
As we pack up the tent, I put a gentle hand on True’s shoulder. She startles and turns around quickly. I expect her to relax when she sees it’s me but she doesn’t.
Something finally clicks together. “Is a woman hurting you?”
Her face freezes. “Wh-wha-why would you ask me that?”
“Because of the way you interact with Daddy and Master Mac and me. You don’t have to tell me anything but please tell Daddy your name and who your social worker is so you can go back to where you stayed last night.
Daddy’s a fixer. It’s what he does. But he can’t fix things if you don’t give him the tools he needs to do the job. ”
“Like a plumber?” True asks.
“Exactly like a plumber,” I agree.
Daddy-the-plumber. I wonder if he’d be willing to role-play that? Daddy-the-plumber with his hard pipe . . .
True glances over at the dining table, where Master Theo and Mistress Maude are sitting and looking at something on Maude’s phone.
I thought Master Theo would either leave after breakfast when Mistress Dana and Austin did or take Daddy up on the offer of a nap in since Daddy evidently woke Theo up in the middle of the night to help with True.
But he hasn’t. Despite a lot of yawning and three cups of coffee, Master Theo’s stayed up, keeping an eye on things.
“Do you trust him?” True asks me.
Do I? He was horrible with Brenna, questioning her like a criminal after she was attacked. And I didn’t like the way he was with Daddy even before that. But would I call him if there was trouble and he was the only one who could help?
“Yes. He’s a policeman, always. But he also understands what we feel deep inside if that makes sense.”
True’s eyes track across the kitchen to where Brenna’s putting out some scraps for Sable. “Was he Brenna’s Dom before Master Mac?”
Wow, I wish I had half this girl’s intuition.
“Daddy said he talked to you about consent, and how he and Master Mac are dominants but do not consent to being your dominant, right?”
True nods.
“This falls in the same category. It’s not fair of me to talk about any relationship Theo and Brenna might have had without their consent.”
“Oh.” She works her mouth from side to side while she digests that.
She has a super-mobile face. I envy the range of her expressions.
If I could move my face like that, I’d have Livvy giggling all the time.
“I think I get it. I only asked because if Brenna trusted him to be her Dom, then I could trust him, too.”
“Without answering your question, you can trust him,” I say.
She smiles. “Okay.”
I could push her toward Theo but I don’t. I get the sense this girl has been pushed around enough. Instead, I finish packing up the tent, turn off the TV, and go upstairs to check on Daddy.
He’s awake when I peek into the bedroom. I steal in quietly and wait next to the bed for him to acknowledge me.
“Turn around, little girl,” he says.
I don’t question why. I do it immediately. Daddy’s given me an order.
He sits up and takes my wrists and crosses them behind my back. Taking my wrists in one hand, he pulls me back between his knees.
“Bend over.”