Chapter 25
twenty-five
EMILY
“Kneel, little girl.”
That’s a command I’m always happy to hear. I don’t expect it in the hallway outside the bathroom but when Daddy says kneel, I kneel.
I tuck my hands behind my back and look up at him expectantly.
“Why have I asked you to kneel, baby?” Daddy asks, looking down at me.
He’s dressed up for the Nursery’s Opening.
Looking hot in his Mad Hatter costume from our collaring weekend in Niagara Falls.
I should be dressed, too but I’m running a little behind.
I glittered my outfit for tonight during the Littles’ Army “art attack” playdate.
But then Sammi got the idea that he needed to wear my tutu around his neck and recite Shakespeare—not very accurately—and in the ensuing tug-o-war over my tutu, some of the glitter fell off.
I’ve been doing last-minute repairs. Can’t have uneven amounts of glitter. It’s a rule.
“You’re checking in with me because I’m running late?” I suggest.
“Yes, that’s one reason. How much longer until you’re ready?”
I make some fast calculations about the drying speed of glitter. “Ten minutes.”
“Good girl, that’s fine. That’s not the only reason. What else?”
I smile hopefully. “Because I’m getting orgasms again tonight?”
I’ve been on orgasm denial, along with Cappa and a bunch of other unfortunate subbies, for two days.
Which sucks. But I have to admit it hasn’t been too awful this time.
Daddy’s mostly used my throat and only edged me during the day.
I haven’t had to go to bed needy and angry.
I’ve been on low simmer but I haven’t been as hatefully desperate as I’ve been in the past.
“Yes, you’re getting orgasms again. But tell me about guilt.”
“Gilt as in gold glitter?”
Daddy chuckles. “No, my little glitter bomb. Guilt as in feeling bad about something that’s not your fault.”
“Oh, guilt with a ‘u’.”
“Yes, baby, guilt with a ‘u’.”
“Guilt with a ‘u’ isn’t something I need to feel.
My Daddy’s told me that, and my Daddy tells me the truth.
I can only control myself. If I’ve failed to control myself and something bad’s happened, then I should feel remorseful, apologize, and try to fix the situation but I don’t need to feel guilty. ”
Daddy strokes my head with his warm palm.
“That’s right. Tonight is a big night for us, isn’t it?
We’ve both worked hard to get the Nursery open.
There’s a lot going on. You may hear some of it tonight.
But you do not need to feel guilty about it, or for enjoying yourself.
If you have any worries about what’s happening at Blunts, or with True, or with Livvy, I want you to put those aside and focus on enjoying yourself tonight. ”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Stand, baby.”
I rise, focusing on moving smoothly. Daddy hugs me when I reach my feet; I go up on my tip-toes to kiss his chin.
“Daddy, you don’t feel any guilt tonight, either, okay?”
“I’ve already given myself a pep talk, sweetheart. I think I can stay focused on the Opening.”
Daddy has been super-distracted since he and Master Mac met with Annabelle.
Daddy didn’t tell me everything she said but I understand Master Emmett hurt her and not in a good way.
I don’t know Emmett beyond passing him in the hallway but I thought all the masters at Blunts were good Doms, safe Doms. It hurts my heart to know that some of them aren’t.
Daddy’s been so sucked into what’s going on with the Blunts house subs that he left dealing with True almost entirely to Theo, Maude, and Brenna. Which isn’t like Daddy at all. Not saying Daddy likes to micromanage but . . .
After our trip to the museum, Theo, Maude, and Brenna got True placed for ninety days with Mac’s friend.
True, whose real name is Ellen but we’ve all kept calling her True at her request, can finish the school year via distance learning.
Her new foster mother works in the City, so she’s been dropping True off at our house on her way in to work every day and picking her up on the way home.
True studies in the mornings while I write.
In the afternoons, there’s been a parade of house subbies coming to spend time with her: Cappa, Fleur, Charlotte, Justine, Austin, Hunter, Allyn, Moon, Shannie, and Lucy.
They’ve been talking with True about their own submissive journeys and how they wish they’d been able to explore submission safely in their teens.
I’ve been moved to tears a few times listening to the subbies talk about their experiences.
None of them had a really safe introduction into submission. No more than I did.
I haven’t shared my own journey with True yet but I plan to when she’s had more time to process. The way she looks at Daddy and Mac tells me she’s still struggling to separate her desire for dominance from her crush on the two Doms who “saved” her.
Tonight, True’s going to see a different kind of family.
Daddy’s partner Manny has offered to babysit Livvy overnight while we’re at the club for the Nursery’s Grand Opening.
True and Livvy are coming with us in the limo to Blunts, then Manny’s going to pick up his cousin who is a police officer and head home.
They’re going to feed True dinner and True’s going to babysit until her curfew under their supervision.
Once True has some experience, she’s going to take a babysitting certification course, then she can start earning her own income.
That’s only one of the subbie plans for True but I think it’s a good one. True needs to be around healthy, loving families so she can see that her experiences with a neglectful family and abuse in foster care aren’t the way families are supposed to be.
“How are you feeling about being apart from Livvy for the night, baby doll?” Daddy asks.
“Okay. Jen’s a stickler for bedtimes so I’m sure she’ll follow Gracie’s schedule. I just hope Livvy’s good for her and True.”
Daddy leans in and kisses my forehead. “Livvy’s behavior one way or another is not a reflection on you as a parent—”
“Babysitter,” I say quickly.
“Uh-huh, babysitter. Best little babysitter in the world.” He gives me another soft, warm kiss. Daddy’s forehead kisses make me swoony. I clutch at the lapels of his purple and red-checked jacket. “Hurry up, my glitter bunny, and let’s go have some fun.”
“Okay, Daddy!”
He swats my bottom and I hop off to the bathroom like a good little glitter bunny.
I’ve already showered and done my hair so I’m just swiping on a little mascara because Daddy likes tear tracks and cleaning myself out in case Daddy wants my bottom tonight.
I spend a moment looking in the mirror, admiring the nubby paddle marks on my ass from our session with Belial this morning.
I know it’s crazy but seeing Daddy’s marks makes me crazy happy.
I love being owned by him; I love wearing the proof on my body.
Listening to the subbies talking to True, I realize I’m not in the minority, even though not all of the house submissives are masochists.
Most of them like seeing marks after a scene.
They’re not just a reminder of a good scene but they help carry that submissive headspace into the rest of our lives.
Daddy lets me live my best little life but not all submissives can be submissive all the time.
Not all of them want to, of course but even the ones who do like Bren and Fleur struggle to pull their submission into their jobs and lives outside their relationships with their Doms.
As I brush my teeth and do quick gag reflex training, I let gratitude for how Daddy’s reshaped his world around me fill up my soul.
It hasn’t been easy for either of us. I didn’t realize until my confrontation with Miranda that I would struggle with it, too.
But as I look at myself in the mirror, seeing the healthy glow of my skin, the light in my eyes, that weren’t there even six months ago when I was on my own, I see not the struggle but how far we’ve come.
I look at the beautiful platinum collar glinting around my throat and, despite everything that’s going on around us, I feel at peace.
Ablutions completed, I bounce out of the bathroom, pull on my glitter-edged tutu, white thigh-highs, black garters, and a criminally short, black-and-blue checked pinafore over a sheer black shirt with thumb holes that I adore.
There’s no point in a bra tonight and the shirt’s mesh chafes my nipples deliciously with every breath.
I’m going to be a puddle by the time we get to the club.
When Cynnie and I found what she calls my “pastel goth Alice” outfit, we thrifted a blue velvet top hat to go with it.
I glittered a veil to go on it but I’m feeling too little for a hat tonight.
Instead, I pull back my curls with a blue bow, slide my feet into black platform Mary Janes, and run downstairs to meet Daddy.
He blinks rapidly when he sees me, grins, and holds out his arms.
“Hello, Alice,” he growls. “You’re going to get a taste of my biggest hat tonight.”
I giggle. “You’re bad, Daddy.”
“I am. You in those thigh highs gets my motor revving, always. I love this outfit.” He slips a hand under the bib of my pinafore and tweaks a nipple. “Easy access. Brilliant.”
I wriggle happily and hold my arms out so he can help me into my winter coat.
Manny’s ferrying us to Blunts, so I could go without but when I’m wearing a play costume, I feel safer either changing at the club or wearing a coat over top.
I’m getting more and more comfortable wearing little clothes out, even when I’m not with Daddy but costumes are different.
Even if they’re not as revealing as what women wear to nightclubs, the littleness of them could attract very bad attention.