Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
It was well past midnight, and Daisy was still up.
The contents of the box her grandmother brought her were spilled out on her bed, like they had been most nights in the week since Beltane.
She’d given up trying to be organized and had just been riffling through things, making piles based on her own chaotic categories.
She’d found more pictures of Great-Aunt Daisy—Aunt D, as she’d started to think of her—some with the Elliot lookalike and some without.
Thanks to the dates scrawled on the backs, Daisy narrowed down their relationship to a two-year period in the mid-twenties.
She still didn’t know what happened between them, but her great-aunt just didn’t glow the same way in the later pictures as she did in the earlier ones.
Something haunted lingered behind her eyes, even late into her life.
Daisy had not taken her grandmother’s advice about not getting lost in the past. She was all-in.
She probably should have listened. She probably should have put that old box aside and focused on her work.
She should have made beautiful things with her hands.
She should have had coffee with her mom and visited Iris and held baby Owen.
She should have lived her own life, but instead she’d spent an awful lot of time sorting through that cardboard box, falling deeper and deeper into the past. She couldn’t help herself.
She needed to know about Aunt D, about why she felt so connected to her.
The woman had taken up permanent residence inside Daisy’s head.
She visited her in her dreams, always sad, always searching, driving Daisy to dig deeper, to look for more answers.
Her great-aunt needed her.
It didn’t matter that she was long dead.
Daisy needed to help her.
Her phone buzzed from somewhere under the piles of papers on her bed. She tossed a few photos aside until she found it.
A text from Elliot.
Oh, right, digging through this box had also given her something to obsess about other than her own life.
Are you still awake?
She couldn’t help but smile at his complete sentence with proper punctuation and everything. Elliot never sent a ‘u up’ text.
Yeah. Probably shouldn’t be. What are you doing up?
There was a three-part American Revolution doc on.
Nerd.
If loving history is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right.
Daisy laughed out loud.
Are you still looking through that old box? That’s history, you know.
I’m aware.
Daisy picked up a photo of her grandmother perched on her great-aunt’s lap.
Aunt D’s mouth was turned up in a smile, like she was happy to be holding her new little niece, but her eyes told a different story.
Daisy turned it between her fingers, wondering again what had been going through the woman’s mind.
And she just might be able to find out, because the real big find had been the diary buried at the bottom of the box.
She hadn’t seen it at first because the small diary had been wedged between the pages of an old flower-shop ledger.
Daisy picked it up and flipped to the page she’d left off on.
All the entries were written in the same slanting script as if her aunt had been rushing to get her thoughts down.
Daisy wondered if she rushed in other parts of her life, too.
Or was she slow and careful when she made flower arrangements for the shop?
How did this relative of hers move through her day?
What did she eat for breakfast? Who did she talk to?
What did she love?
This diary might be history, but to Daisy it was personal, and she wanted to know everything.
The first few pages were rather uneventful, spanning several months and detailing the ins and outs of opening the flower shop with her brother, John. But Daisy had a feeling things were about to get interesting. The last entry that she read involved a handsome stranger appearing on the scene…
May 16, 1925
He came in again today. Nathan, he says his name is.
I’ve never seen him around town before and now he’s come in for flowers, twice in two days.
I find this suspicious. John says he must have taken a fancy to me.
Which I find absurd. He must have a sweetheart.
Who else is he buying all these flowers for?
Besides, I have no need for men to fancy me. Not anymore. Not ever again.
Ooh … okay, now things were getting good. Nathan had to be the guy in the photos, right? She kept going.
May 20, 1925
Nathan bought a dozen roses today. And he had the nerve to try and hang around the store after he was done picking them out. I went to the back and left John to make small talk.
May 27, 1925
Today he came for lilies. His home must look like a funeral parlor. He told me I looked nice in blue. I told him to have a good day.
Ha! Aunt D was sassy. Daisy liked that.
Her phone buzzed again.
I’m going to tuck in. Don’t stay up too late.
She sighed. She’d wanted to show Elliot the diary as soon as she found it, but she’d been kind of avoiding him since Beltane. Or avoiding him in real life, anyway. They texted nearly every night.
But Beltane had really freaked her out. The kissing, the middle of the night …
cuddling, the way Elliot looked at her, it was all getting a little too close to real.
And even though Elliot had agreed to just being friends, Daisy wasn’t sure that was possible anymore. Maybe they’d already gone too far.
But she missed him.
She missed his crooked smile and his glasses and the way he turned pink when he was embarrassed.
She missed him, and that terrified her, so she was staying away for now. Elliot had been joking when he asked if she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to keep her hands off him, but he wasn’t wrong. She didn’t know if she could.
Her fingers itched to type:
Come over.
Fall in love with me.
Hold me.
Keep me safe.
She shook her head. Instead, she texted:
Okay, goodnight, Elliot.
Goodnight, Daisy.
She flopped back on her bed, diary still in hand. Maybe her aunt was handling things better.
May 31, 1925
I got the nerve up to ask him what on earth he was doing with all the flowers he buys. I said your girl must have run out of vases. He just smiled and said he didn’t have a girl. And that I looked nice in pink.
June 10, 1925
I had thought he was finally done with his flower shopping excesses, but Nathan was back today. He bought two bouquets of daisies. Said they were his favorite flower. Told me I looked nice in yellow and left before I could argue.
Well, that didn’t help. It only made her think of Elliot proclaiming daisies as his favorite and wearing a crown of them all night.
The man refused to leave her thoughts.
She started to clean up, stacking everything back into piles and placing them in the box. She couldn’t keep her eyes open much longer and, apparently, her stupid brain wanted to keep circling back to Elliot.
And she couldn’t think about him anymore right now. The rest of her waking hours had been enough.
Anyway, before she went on with the diary, she had to know who Nathan was. Unfortunately, the pictures with the man she figured was him only had dates and no names. It seemed there was one good way to find out. Maybe Elliot had learned more about this relative of his and had discovered his name…
She should probably call him.
For their shared love of history.
And because they were still friends.
She told herself it was for research purposes, that she needed to get to the bottom of her great-aunt’s story, but she couldn’t even fool herself.
The idea of seeing Elliot again was too tempting, even though she was the one putting space between them. She didn’t know what she wanted. She was a mess.
She glanced down at her phone. Elliot had gone to bed half an hour ago.
She couldn’t call him now. Okay, so she would text Elliot in the morning.
Maybe he would want to meet up. She imagined how excited he would be to get his hands on some primary sources.
History nerds liked that sort of thing, right?
She could keep her hands to herself, couldn’t she?
* * *
June 12, 1925
Looking back on my last few entries I feel utterly embarrassed to have wasted so much paper and ink on a man, but it looks like I’m not done. I can only hope no one ever finds this little book. Perhaps I’ll burn it when I’m done, but I find I need to get these thoughts out or I can’t sleep!
Nathan came into the shop again today while I was working alone.
John had gone out with the deliveries. I decided I needed to put an end to this …
this … whatever it is. I said, why do you keep coming in here?
And he said to buy flowers, of course. Just like that.
Like he wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary.
So, I said he needed to stop complimenting my appearance and, do you know, he had the nerve to blush!
Like I was the one being inappropriate when it had clearly been him who started the whole thing.
He apologized. Which, I will admit, surprised me. He said if it made me uncomfortable, he would stop coming in.
And here’s where I am embarrassed again, because I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him to stop. I had the insane thought that I would miss him if he did. So I straightened my shoulders and tried to act very businesslike and I told him that wouldn’t be necessary.
His answering smile made my heart hurt.
Daisy knew exactly what her aunt meant about a hurting heart. Daisy’s heart ached. She missed Elliot even more than she thought possible.
But she’d chickened out again and hadn’t asked him to meet up.
It had been another week of friendly texting, and Daisy was going out of her mind.
She’d made up so many bad excuses not to see him that Elliot had stopped asking her out.
He still checked in on her, but he hadn’t suggested grabbing coffee in days.
Pretty soon, he’d probably stop texting all together.
She’d successfully pushed him away. And she felt like shit about it.
Her phone buzzed.
U up?
Despite her current mood, Daisy smiled. It was 2 a.m. but she was getting a text from Iris.
Yep.
Her phone started ringing.
‘Hey.’ Iris’s voice was thick with sleep.
‘Hey, everything okay?’
‘Yeah,’ Iris sighed. ‘Owen just thought it’d be fun to be wide awake for a few hours. Archer took the first hour, but I told him he should sleep. So, it’s my turn.’
‘Oof, that’s rough. I assume it’ll get better?’
‘So people claim. What are you doing up?’
‘More diary-reading.’
‘Ooh … what’s the auntie up to now?’
Daisy smiled. She’d been keeping Iris posted on Aunt D’s adventures. ‘Still trying to push Nathan away.’
‘Sounds familiar.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
Iris snorted. ‘Nothing at all.’
‘You know I have my reasons.’
‘We all do, but at some point you have to wonder if it’s worth it. You’re torturing yourself, Daze.’
Daisy was laying back on her pillows, looking up at the ceiling. There was a crack up there making the shape of a bunny.
‘It’ll be worse if I give in. It’ll be worse when it ends.’
‘It doesn’t always end.’
‘You got lucky, Iris. Archer is amazing and a great dad and a good cook, blah, blah, blah. I’m thrilled for you, I just don’t think that’s in the cards for me. Historically speaking, I have not lucked out in this department.’
Iris was making shushing noises, Daisy assumed at Owen and not at her. She waited, tracing the bunny’s ears with her eyes.
‘Sorry, I’m back,’ Iris said. ‘I think you have to ask yourself, is Elliot anything like David? Or Matthew?’ Iris laughed to herself. ‘Actually, I know Matthew, and Elliot is definitely nothing like him. And you’re not the person you were at eighteen when you married him.’
‘True.’ Daisy thought about that girl, so carried away with the romance of it all, not thinking about if she really wanted to build a life with Matthew. She’d grown up since then.
But what about David?
She didn’t even really have to think about it.
She knew the way she felt about Elliot wasn’t the same as how she felt about her ex.
And more importantly, the way Elliot treated her was different, the way he talked to her and cared about her was different.
He’d looked out for her since the beginning.
She’d never felt like she had to chase him down or vie for his attention like she had with David.
Elliot was different.
‘How are you so wise at two in the morning?’
Iris laughed softly. ‘This is when I do my best thinking.’
‘How’s the little man? Any sleepier?’
‘Actually, he just filled his diaper, rather aggressively.’
‘You should probably go.’
‘Definitely.’
‘Thanks, Iris. I hope you get some sleep.’
‘No problem. And you should sleep, too.’
‘I will. Love you.’
‘Love you, Daisy.’
* * *
After her late-night conversation with Iris, Daisy woke up a little braver.
Can we meet at the library? I want to show you something.
Elliot’s response was almost immediate.
I’m intrigued.
Daisy smiled, her heart fluttering in her chest.
So that’s a yes?
Of course.
Of course. Of course, like she could ask for anything, and he’d be there.
How about today? I can meet you during my lunch break.
Perfect. Thanks, Elliot.
Any time.
Any time. Even after she’d hid from him for two weeks. Even after she’d propositioned him for sex and then told him she couldn’t ever be in a relationship with him. Even after Beltane, after sleeping next to each other, even after she backed off again and said they should just be friends.
Of course, any time.
Elliot had been showing her all along that he was different.
Maybe it was time she started paying attention.