Chapter 51
Aurora
He contemplates whether he should believe me. At the same time, I sense he wants nothing more than to do just that. I should tell him. Now.
Come on, Aurora. Just do it!
The plan was to confess everything to him before our waterfall bath. So he would finally know the whole truth. But I couldn't do it.
And even now, it's so much easier to pretend to be pensive, tapping my finger against my chin. "What did we want to experience again?" I say slowly. "What was it?"
He swallows hard. "We wanted to explore every single street in Paris by bike."
Relief washes over me. He remembers our dreams as vividly as I do. And it seems like he's willing to go along with it. He's giving me the most valuable thing he can right now—the time I still need despite all my good intentions.
"Then let's do it," I reply, hoping he would at least smile, but he doesn't.
At least he nods hesitantly. Without touching each other, we walk toward the bikes. We put on the helmets that I equipped with GoPro cameras and start our tour. Of course, we won't cover all of Paris, but I have a surprise destination for Maxime.
"Turn left up here," I instruct him, then I guide us farther along the streets. I keep turning to capture his puzzled expressions on video with the GoPro cameras. We'll keep both videos in our memory box.
At least, if he still wants them after this day.
The thought weighs heavily on my shoulders, yet I know he has every right to erase me from his life completely.
But I have to do it. I have to embrace my fear and let go of control. Only then will he believe I would never make the same mistakes. Once we're there, I'll tell him.
We reach the Seine and cycle along the riverbank until we arrive in the 13th arrondissement. The building where we finally park our bikes looks unremarkable.
"Did you enjoy the ride?" I ask, trying to sound casual as I take off my helmet. Once this tension between us dissipates, it will surely be easier for me to confess everything.
He grumbles dismissively, then his gaze travels over the gray-brown facade of our destination. I believe I can discern his head working tirelessly to decipher the mystery. "What are we doing here?"
"We're fulfilling one of our dreams." The words leave my mouth as if on their own.
"In there?" He seems far from convinced, and his gaze flicks to his wristwatch as if he's checking how much longer he'll have to endure my presence. "Listen, I..."
"It won't take long," I reply in a panic.
Was that too quick? Too forceful?
This isn't going as I had hoped. Yes, we're filling the memory box. We'll have the objects, photos, and films as evidence later. But there's something else too. Something I had hoped Maxime would at least sense beneath the surface: Trust.
I gather all my courage.
"Okay," he replies resignedly before I can say anything, and turns toward the door.
Nothing indicates that he would enjoy this, yet my heart beats a little faster. He has agreed, at least for now. The chance is alive, and that's all I want to believe in.
As we enter the building, I can no longer keep the secret because a poster stretches across the entire wall.
"A flight simulator?" Maxime's lips twitch, but he quickly becomes serious again when he sees it himself. "This is..."
"Our chance to travel anywhere. Even in the cockpit," I finish his sentence, and as we take our seats as co-pilots in the simulator and the staff member asks where we want to fly, I let him do the talking.
"To the North Pole," he says incredulously as if he can't quite believe what's happening.
Is that a good or bad reaction?
I turn to the pilot. "We want to have cocktails there," I tell him.
The staff member looks back and forth between us, then presses a few buttons and explains in detail what our roles as co-pilots entail.
A few minutes later, we take off, and even though I have no reason to be nervous right now, I notice that I can hardly keep my fingers still. My first attempt just now went horribly wrong, and on top of that, Maxime's eyes keep darting to his wristwatch. It's only a matter of time before he refuses to go along with it anymore. Ahead of us lies one truth and four more experiences. Most of them are harmless, but the way things have gone so far, I'm not sure if Maxime will go through with all of them with me.
And then there's the fourth and final experience. Just thinking about it fills me with more fear than I've ever had in my life. Yet I have to do it.
Those are just words, Aurora , Maxime's voice echoes in my memory again, and he's right. Words are not enough. Even if he knows everything, it won't be enough.
Only actions can show Maxime what I have finally understood. And one in particular.