35. Blesk
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
blesk
As we roll over the Brussman Bridge, I’m overwhelmed by its grandeur and height. This city is thriving, rich in wealth and... in gossip. I can see the streets of Moorup from above, streets that look like veins pulsing through skin— it’s a living city. The District.
When we roll into the visitor parking lot at the Trans-Moorup inter-district rail line, we devise a plan.
Elise and I stay in the car while Jaxon and Konnor go inside.
They are going to get the lay of the land and then come back to see us before actually opening the locker.
I highly doubt my father has managed to organise a kidnapping since speaking with me less than two hours ago.
Nevertheless, we are all ready. My fingers search for something, anything, to fidget with as we anxiously wait.
This train station has several floors; the upper floors are for bus transportation and parking, and the lower floors are for trains.
The locker could be on any level. Security at city stations of this size is usually second to none...
or so I keep telling myself. The words from my father’s letter keep flashing in my mind. ‘It is all yours... You’ve earned it.’
What’s all mine?
Information?
Money? Ugh.
I don’t want his money, neither would Konnor. My mind drifts to him. To Konnor. To our fucked-up bucket list. To healing. I have joined his whirlwind now, and I don’t think I want the storm to end.
“What are you thinking about?”
I tear my gaze away from the window and come face to face with Elise’s sceptical gaze. “I love Konnor,” I blurt out before I even think it. I shrug. “I just had to say that aloud.”
She beams at me. “Good to hear. Tell him you should,” she says, knowingly. How does she know I haven’t?
We both jump to the sound of car doors swinging open. Konnor moves in behind the wheel and Jax slides in the passenger. The energy in the car drops. The boys glance at each other, their silence carrying a message. Guilt. That is the message and it may be silent, but it is not quiet.
What? “What have you two done?” I bounce my eyes between them. “Why are you looking at each other like that?”
“We just got some stuff for you,” Jaxon says, tone feigning indifference.
Pulling a Pez out of his back pocket, he hands it to Elise.
“I got you Daenerys Mother of Dragons Pez.” His lips curve into smug satisfaction when Elise’s eyes widen.
She snatches it from him and holds it to her chest, exhaling slowly.
I don’t get it… “Explain.”
Elise sinks into her chair with the Pez clutched tightly to her heart, a big dopey smile stretching from ear to ear.
“I told Jaxon and Konnor last time we went driving that I hadn’t been on a real road trip before.
They were horrified. Anyway, there was no Pez when we got petrol, and Jaxon said it’s a must for road trips.
So, also, Jaxon and I had lunch a few days ago, and he dared to presume I was girlie—”
"He didn’t," Konnor cuts in.
Jaxon snorts. “I just said growing up without a masculine presence would have been hard. There is no wonder she is so... I dunno, little and quaint and shit.”
“And shit!” Konnor mocks. Then we all laugh, because Elise isn’t the least bit quaint.
Elise continues, “You did not say that. He said no wonder I was so fragile and girlie. He said fragile and girlie. I said, having only mothers has made me fiercer than if I’d grown up with a father.
Women are crazy protective and extremely resilient.
We’ve been silenced for existence, only given a real voice in the last fifty years!
I think people forget that. I said, look at what we have accomplished in that time.
I told him that he wouldn’t want to see me mad because I am fiery. ”
“Oh.” I exhale with realisation. “So he got you a Mother of Dragons Pez. Aw. That’s sweet.”
She grins. “Yeah.”
I bite my smile as I say, “Didn’t you say to kill you if you ever acted like ‘that?’ Shall I do it now, or later?”
“Oh!” Konnor laughs.
Jax faces forwards. “Yeah. Yeah.”
We are all still laughing when Konnor drops a weight into the conversation. “Don’t get upset, okay? Just be happy.”
Fuck.
That’s not good.
He hands back a pink rectangular box, the kind that comes with a cake or from a bakery. I didn’t notice it from the backseat when he stepped inside the car, too busy looking at the guilt dripping from their features.
I take the box, set it on my lap, and stare at him expectantly.
“That is from Jax, Elise, and… well, me. We know that you missed out on a lot of birthday cakes over the years and we wanted to rectify that. We got you twenty cupcakes, one for every birthday we missed, because we didn’t mean to miss them, and we will never miss another one again."
I stare at the present. Blink. I sigh, and smile, and shake my head at these two boys that have so quickly become my favourite people. And they ask for so little. They just are. Love doesn’t have a price or expectations. It just is. “We’re a weird family and thank you. These mean a lot to me.”
“What flavour are the cupcakes?” Elise asks.
“All different, I think,” Konnor says. “We got them from a bakery in the station while we were waiting for...” His sentence trails to silence.
I pass the pink box to Elise, and she peeks inside, humming. Wait. “Waiting for… what?”
“Don’t get mad, Duch.”
“Oh, God, what else?”
With a deep sigh, Konnor hands me a yellow envelope, and everything inside me tightens. I hold my breath, frowning at it. It’s an odd colour, once beige, perhaps, now with creeping weathered tones.
“This isn’t…” I swallow. “What I think it is, right?”
His brow tightens and he nods, once. “It is.”
My fingers wrap around the envelope, and I fake a grin, studying his face, then Jaxon’s. “You went without me?”
“We didn’t go to the locker. We asked a security guard to go for us, and tipped him handsomely, I might add. He didn’t seem fazed at all. He returned with this. I know you are probably mad I didn’t discuss it with you first, but I’m just relieved it is done. So... that’s it.”
I crinkle the envelope in my hand and hold it flat to my lap, my breath quickening. “I’m not mad.” I trust him. “I’m freaked out, and I’m not happy you took a risk without discussing it with me first.”
“We knew you’d say no and we were there.” Jaxon shrugs. “Made sense.”
Elise tsks, playfully. “You rats, buttered us up first with cupcakes and Pez.”
“Yeah, we really did,” Jaxon says, clumsily.
“Did it work?” Konnor asks, green eyes on me, soft smile, and unfairly endearing dimples on display.
I clear my throat. “Yes, it worked.”
“So what now?” Jaxon asks. “The anticipation is killing me. Are you going to open it? Remember your found family when you find a winning lotto ticket in there.”
I stare at the envelope, bile rising in my throat. Wow. I didn’t expect that. Am I afraid? Relieved?
Konnor reaches back, putting his hand on my knee, staring at me, his expression soft and knowing. “Wanna blow it up?”
Jaxon adds, “Or shred it to pieces?”
“Or spit on it?” Elise says.
Jaxon feigns disgust. “Gross, Elise. Jeez you always take things too far. You’re not at all girlie or quaint.”
“I can beat you up,” she warns.
“Give it a go.” He laughs.
I’m still analysing the envelope. At the way dirt and dust has collected along the seal. It is full of old secrets or none at all. I don’t know which is worse. I try to smile for them, but before I can reply, Konnor saves me.
“I think we should stay at my folks’ place tonight. It’s only thirty minutes away. We can go through the envelope there. What do you think?”
“That isn’t fair on everyone else, Konnor.” I look between Elise and Jaxon, then back at the envelope as if it also has a say in our stop.
“I'd planned on staying away until tomorrow anyway,” Elise says with a shrug. “Will your folks mind?”
“Nah. They’d love to meet you. Especially my sister, Cassidy. I think you two would hit it off.” Konnor twists back to me. “Duch? You wanna meet my family?”
Meet his family?
My eyes snap up to him.
“Um, actually…” I glance down at my body, then cringe. Wrinkled shirt and yoga pants chic? "Look at what I'm wearing. I’m not shallow but you're important to me. I really want to look nice the first time I meet your family. Shower and brush my hair, at the very least. The usual stuff.”
A grin spreads across his lips, his dimples melting me like butter. “They will love you,” he says. “Your usual is everyone else’s premium.”
I smirk. “That’s corny.”
“I am well aware.”