Chapter 10 #2
Jax lifted an incredulous brow, and the wicked grin that spread across his face sent a gob of dread to my gut. “Damn right you fucked her.” He pointed upward. “You fucked her right on the kitchen table while I watched. That was after you paddled her ass for trying to escape.”
I gaped at him, shaking my head. “I can’t believe I did that.” I lowered to the floor and parked my ass on the cold cement.
“You did that and a lot more.” He wandered to where I sat and took the space next to me. “Are we gonna talk about Nikki?”
“You mean are you gonna tell me why you’re sneaking around with her?”
He took one last drag of his smoke before grounding it into the concrete. “It just happened.”
“I didn’t figure you for the cliché type.”
“Look,” he said with a sigh, “I know she used to be your girl, but not long ago, Alex was your girl.”
“No, Alex was my prisoner.” My attention stalled on the cage, eyes narrowed. “You and Nik…that just doesn’t make sense. You can’t stand to be touched, for one.”
“What’d you say?”
“It doesn’t make sense.”
“No, the last part.”
I turned back to him, head tilted. “You can’t stand to be touched?” The words hung between us, but Jax didn’t say anything. I opened my mouth, my mind struggling to comprehend what I’d just said. “How do I know that?”
“You tell me.”
“I don’t know, I just…do.”
“Anything else you suddenly just know?”
I reached inward, poking at the blank spots in my past, and came up empty. “I guess not.”
“It’ll come back. Maybe you’re trying too hard.”
“Maybe.” I dangled my hands between my bent knees. “Do you care about her?”
Slowly, he nodded. “Yeah, I do. She’s the first person since…”
“Since what?” I asked, not about to let him toss out that tidbit of information just to pull it back.
“Since I had to let go of someone else.”
“What happened?” I probably already knew the details, somewhere in the locked area of my brain.
Jax returned my gaze, and something about the intense longing there made me shiver. I missed the warmth of my buzz. The booze still corrupted my veins, but the shield of not-giving-a-fuck was long gone.
“Wasn’t meant to be,” he said. “I’ve accepted it.”
“And you think sneaking around with Nikki is smart? She’s engaged.” Fucking hypocrite. Hadn’t I stuck my tongue down her throat a few days ago? If not for the unnerving sense that being with her was wrong, I would have done a lot more than that.
Jax’s mouth formed an angry line. “Lyle Lewis is scum. All the shit-talk he’s done about you. He had half the town believing you were involved in Alex’s death.”
“From what you told me, I was involved in her ‘death.’” I added air quotes on the last word.
Jax waved off my logic. “Yeah, but he didn’t know shit, Rafe. We covered our tracks. He wasn’t pointing the finger at you because he thought you were guilty. He used what happened to tear what little reputation you had left to shreds. He was trying to run you out of town.”
“Why would he do that? It’s not like I’m causing him any problems living here on the island.”
“You’re a threat to him.”
“Because of Nikki?”
Jax raised a brow.
I shook my head, laughing. “Yet you’re the one seeing her. How fucking ironic is that?”
Jax wasn’t laughing. “Does it bother you?” He shifted, hunching over his knees, and tilted his head. “Because if it does, I won’t see her again.”
“But you’re in to her.”
He smiled, the first genuine, care-free grin I’d seen him wear.
“I still can’t handle her touch, but yeah.
I like her. Fucking crazy that she seems to feel the same way.
” The smile bled from his face, and he pierced me with his deep stare.
“But I’m not burying my head in the sand.
She’ll run if you snap your fingers. I know it, and Lyle knows it. ”
“His ring is on her fucking finger, so maybe he should get over it.”
Jax sighed. “I have no idea why she’s wearing that asshole’s ring. I doubt we know the whole story. She talks about the jerk like she’s scared of him.”
That made me sit up straighter. “You think he’s hurting her?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head, gaze on the ground between his feet. “How did everything go to hell so fast?”
“Fuck if I know,” I said, glancing at the broken glass on my floor.
“But I can’t sit around and do nothing.” Missing so many years was dangerous.
Even though we sat in a cellar full of incriminating evidence, talking about women and the screwed up shit we’d done together, Jax still felt like a stranger to me.
And Alex…
Her disappearance wasn’t going away on its own. “I have to find out what happened to her, Jax. Maybe I should talk to Abbott.”
“Are you insane? You were convicted of raping his daughter. You can’t just knock on his door and say, ‘Hey, how’s it going? By the way, have you seen your dead daughter lately?’”
“No shit.” With a sigh, I sank both hands into my hair and pulled. “But I’ve gotta do something. I’m responsible for her.”
“No,” Jax said. “I’ll do something. I’ve already been looking into it. You stay away from this.”
I studied his profile. Shaggy blond hair brushed his brows, and the scruff on his face, combined with a crooked nose, gave him an unkempt look. He managed to pull it off. How could I have shared a cell with this guy and not remember him? “You’d do that for me?”
He swept his hair back from his eyes. “I’d be dead if it weren’t for you. I’ll always have your back.”