Chapter 2
RAFE
This was the moment I normally lived for. The adrenaline rush of knowing I had him. The smell of sweat and blood in the air. The crowd that chanted Rafe “The Choker” Mason. I moved into a kick-jab combo, but the moves glanced off him like pesky flies.
So maybe I had him.
I always faced the chance of an opponent catching me off-guard, or even worse get one up on me. Tonight, both of those outcomes were real possibilities.
Alex’s name ricocheted in my mind, drowning out the crowd. There was nothing left in my head but her. No fight, no chaotic mob of people on the other side of the cage. Just Alex knocked out and tied up on my boat near this damn barn.
Fuck, I didn’t want to be here. But in all reality, Alex would be safer if I let off some steam before I woke her because getting lost in the silky texture of her skin while strung this tightly…that could be dangerous.
Jax shouted my name above the din, but the warning came too late. A large fist slammed into my forehead, making my head kick back. My opponent sent another strike to my jaw. The distraction of Alex De Luca was going to cost me this fucking fight.
He came at me again, and I ducked at the last second, forcing my head into the fight.
Literally. I slammed into him, grappling his massive frame into a body lock, but fuck, he had some furious strength.
He escaped the maneuver, and we sprang apart, bouncing on our feet.
The bastard’s cocky mug blasted me from a couple of feet away.
We’d been circling each other for a while now, sizing the other up as tension thickened the space between us.
I got a right hook in then backed off, sensing his next move by the bunch of his shoulders, the way his hawk-like gaze followed my every step.
I anticipated him coming, but I was too close to the fucking cage.
His momentum hurled me straight into it.
As the metal clanked, time seemed to slow.
The overhead lights glinted off his bald head as sweat trickled down the side of his scruffy face.
The cage was cold and familiar at my back.
I pushed against it for leverage, bringing an arm up and twisting.
With a grunt, I took him to the ground and wrapped an arm around his neck, lips pulled tight over my teeth.
Adrenaline careened through me in a sudden burst, and he slumped with each pulsating thump of my heart.
This was it.
The moment.
Nothing else mattered except the next few seconds when his lids would droop and shutter the realization that he was losing.
The ref shouted at me to stop, but I ignored him and increased the pressure on the guy’s throat.
As I restricted his oxygen, something inside me buzzed, wept with fucking relief.
The ref was crazy if he thought I’d back off.
I never stopped, and the crowd knew it. They lived for it.
My opponents knew it and hoped it wouldn’t happen to them, but it always did because there were few rules in this cage.
The ref finally dragged me off him by force. I jumped to my feet, staggering forward, about to hoist the guy’s spent body off the floor and demand more. But the ref blocked me and shoved me back, all the while shouting at me to cool off.
It wasn’t enough. This fight, my self-inflicted banishment from Alex…I still couldn’t protect her.
From me, the violent maniac inside this cage. I wasn’t a champion. I was a disgusting excuse for a human being.
I shook off the self-loathing as Shelton, the guy behind this corrupted operation, strode into the cage with his usual swagger.
He flung my arm in the air and announced me as the winner in his deep, booming voice that reverberated through the barn.
His woman attached herself to his side. She had no business being in here, but she had a habit of hovering.
She licked her lips, her brown eyes roaming my abs as she straightened her spine and pushed out her double D’s.
I couldn’t remember her fucking name, and I didn’t care to, even if she was the boss’ girl.
Only one girl flooded my mind, rushing blood straight to my cock, and she was stowed away on my boat, fucking safe from Zach.
He was no doubt making a beeline for Portland right now, but we were miles from there in the middle of nowhere, on the edge of a secluded lake.
Not many people frequented this area in the dead of winter, which made it the perfect place to engage in illegal fighting.
Turned out it was also the perfect place to go off the grid, which I’d gotten fucking good at since I’d left Perrone’s estate in flames.
Jax appeared at my side and shoved clothing and a water bottle into my arms. As he took a long drag on his cigarette, I downed the lukewarm water in a single gulp.
“Alex okay?”
“Still sleeping like a baby,” he said, exhaling smoke through his nose.
“Thought you were quitting that shit.” I gestured at his cigarette with the empty bottle before dropping it in the duffle he’d set at my feet.
“I did, but then I started again.” He shrugged. “Don’t worry, I’ll quit again tomorrow.”
With a shake of my head, I snickered. We’d had this conversation for days. I pulled on a pair of sweatpants over my red trunks and eyed the exit.
“So,” he said, drawing on the butt one last time before snuffing the end out between two fingers.
“I only caught the last few minutes, but it looked like you were off your game. You still nailed it though. Congrats, man.” His words rose above the cacophony of voices, the exchange of money and drugs.
This place was a fucking pit, and I hated every second of it.
Except for that moment when I choked the fuck out of the sucker in the cage with me. The release of endorphins made it easier to sleep at night. Sometimes, it even chased away the nightmares.
“Another night, another dime,” I said. Big fucking deal. I grabbed a towel from the duffle and wiped the sweat and blood from my face. Sliding my arms through the sleeves of a navy blue hoodie, I pushed my feet into a pair of sneakers. My gaze veered to the exit again.
I had more important shit to worry about than tonight’s precarious win. I could see nothing but Alex, think of nothing beyond her body restrained on my bed. Alone and vulnerable.
Holy fuck, I had to get out of here.
“I’ll go collect,” Jax said. He knew. One look into my wild, feral face, and he knew that I needed to be with Alex on that damn boat.
Of course he did—he’d given me the heads up about Zach’s escape.
I’d pushed ninety the whole way to Portland, my knuckles white on the steering wheel. When she’d walked through that door…
Fuck, relief didn’t even begin to describe it.
Adrenaline still pumped through my blood, stringing me so tight I might snap in two.
Six fucking months without her had nearly killed me.
Fighting in this damn cage tonight instead of being with her was killing me, but I hadn’t been able to back out.
Not without pissing off some guys no one dared piss off.
I slung the duffle over my shoulder and elbowed a path around people, ignoring congratulatory high fives and murderous glares. The steady din of voices receded, and that fucking door ballooned in my eyesight.
I wanted through it, now. Wanted across the field to the dock where my boat called to me. Where the sexiest temptress on the planet, in the fucking universe, waited with her wrists and ankles bound by leather, body helpless and begging to be stripped bare.
We both knew our true bindings; the invisible line, born of pain and devastation, which connected our hearts. Nothing on Earth could sever that, not even six months, during which I’d tumbled down the path of no return. Even so, I’d known.
Going back for her wasn’t an if—it was a when.
But I never thought Zach would be the reason for going back.
If not for his escape, I’d still be battling my inner demons and convincing myself she was better off without me.
And maybe she was. I considered the various layers between us—space, doors, even the clothes hiding her body.
The horrific things I’d done. That last layer was thick and not as easy to overcome as opening a door or ripping material apart.
She was going to hate me, not only for what I’d done—leaving her alone and believing I was dead—but for what I wanted to do, the urges I could no longer contain.
Like squeezing the fucking life out of her brother as soon as I tracked down his ass. I should’ve killed him six months ago. Then it would be done. Over with. No longer an issue I had to agonize about. And I’d never have to worry about him going after Alex again.
My heart pounded in my ears as the exit drew closer. I was mere feet from it when someone grabbed my shoulder. I whirled with a lethal scowl and found Nate, Shelton’s lapdog.
“Boss wants to talk to you,” he said, pointing toward the back of the barn. “He’s upstairs.”
Damn it. Swallowing a frustrated sigh, I gestured at Nate to lead the way, figuring Shelton wanted to needle me about my last minute decision to quit fighting after tonight.
I followed Nate through the haze of tobacco toward the back of the barn and climbed the stairs to the loft.
Shelton stood ramrod straight, his tatted arms crossed as he watched the mayhem from above everyone else.
We’d known each other back in the day when life was simpler.
When I’d had a fucking future. Connecting with him again after all these years had been a fluke, yet it couldn’t have happened at a better time.
I’d come to the area a broken man, a shell of who I used to be, so I could be near my son.
Will’s grandparents were raising him now, and though I wasn’t about to disrupt his life with my toxic presence, I’d needed to see how he was coping after Nikki’s death.