Chapter 9
ALEX
“You won’t tell me what’s going on either, will you?
” I asked Jax after Rafe had disappeared up the stairs, and the boat stopped moving from his exit.
Raising a brow, I crossed my arms over my breasts to hide them.
I pressed my thighs together, realizing that standing buck-naked in front of a man other than Rafe was ludicrous.
“Not my place, sorry.” Jax slid into the seat Rafe had vacated. Just thinking of Rafe’s mouth between my thighs flushed me, and I felt my face go hot.
Jax cocked his head with a smirk, and I swore he knew what I was thinking. “Go put on some fucking clothes, okay?”
He wasn’t going to tell me shit. I’d figured as much, but I’d had to give it a shot.
I backed toward the bedroom though I had no intention of doing what I was told—not so long as Rafe insisted on shutting me the fuck out.
After everything we’d been through together, I deserved more than that.
I let that sink in for a moment. Possibly, for the first time in my life, I not only thought I was worth something, but I believed it.
I enclosed myself in the room. Glancing at the knob, I gritted my teeth and silently cursed.
No lock. The weight of time drove me, and I raided the drawers, my heart galloping behind my ribcage as I pulled out a pair of jeans.
I couldn’t find any panties—not even the black satin underwear I’d removed myself the night before.
In fact, all of my clothes were gone, and I had no clue what he’d done with them.
The door whispered a taunt as I jammed my legs into soft denim. Forgoing a bra, I shrugged into a long-sleeved shirt, wedged my sockless feet into a pair of sneakers, and almost expected Jax to bust into the room.
Just breathe.
Five in, hold, five out. Repeat.
The door remained shut. I listened for what seemed like forever, but I couldn’t hear anything beyond the erratic pulse thrumming in my ears.
I continued my search, sliding drawer after drawer open, sifting through Rafe’s socks and underwear, pants, sweatshirts, and gym clothes—even silky, lacy lingerie in dark and sexy colors.
That drawer could be fun. I pulled open the one I had yet to snoop through and my breath stalled.
Rafe had plans for me, all right.
A treasure trove of whips and paddles, dildos, clothespins, and other items I couldn’t even name lived in that drawer.
He even had a standard set of handcuffs in there.
I grasped the cool metal, digging beneath other perverted paraphernalia, and that’s when I discovered my purse buried at the bottom.
I freed it along with the cuffs amongst a ton of clatter, and my feet carried me across the tiny space with quiet, swift steps.
I dropped the stuff on the mattress and dug through my purse, hoping I’d find my gun until I remembered that I’d dropped it in my foyer after finding Rafe in my house.
But he had a gun. I knew he did. He’d even mentioned it to Jax.
Considering Rafe would want quick access in the event of an emergency, I figured he kept it close by when he was most vulnerable—while he was sleeping.
I rifled through the built-in nightstand next to the bed, but unless I wanted to beat someone to death with a sci-fi novel, I was out of luck.
Shit. I slammed the drawer shut in frustration then went still, on hyper-alert for the thump of footsteps coming my way. Surely Jax heard this racket? Each second I stood in this room, essentially trapped, seemed to take a minute off my life.
The open space beneath the drawer in the nightstand drew my attention. Acting on a hunch, I ran my hand underneath, palm side up, and my fingers smoothed over the cool handle of a pistol.
Jackpot.
I grabbed my purse and the cuffs, tiptoed toward the door and turned the knob, then stepped in full view of Jax. He looked up, halting mid-bite into a sandwich, and arched a brow at the gun I pointed at him. The sandwich flopped onto his plate.
“If I’d known you were gonna hold me at gunpoint, I wouldn’t have made you lunch,” he said, gesturing toward the untouched plate sitting across from him.
Food was the last thing on my mind. “You’re gonna tell me where he went.” I raised the gun a little higher.
He blinked, and his face relaxed into his normal, non-worried expression. But he should be worried. I might not shoot him in the head, but I was at the end of my rope. Jax was going to give me answers, or he might need a sling for his arm in the near future.
“Start talking.”
He let out a sigh that ruffled his shaggy hair. “You’re not gonna shoot me.”
“You sure about that? Maybe I’ve snapped.” I cocked the gun. “Maybe I’m done being a fucking doormat, Jax. A victim. Now tell me where he went!”
“He went to the barn,” he said, running his hands through his hair. “Nothing for you to worry about.”
I scoffed. “Funny, that’s what he said.”
He rose from the bench slowly, keeping his eyes on the gun the whole time. “Hand it over. You’re being irrational.”
Oh hell no. If there was one thing a man needed to learn, it was that he never accuse a woman of being irrational. I stuck the barrel to my head and finally got the reaction I was hoping for.
Jax lurched forward with genuine fear in his eyes. “Alex—”
“How’s this for irrational?”
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. I didn’t sign up for this shit.” He gestured toward the weapon. “Put the damn gun down.”
“I’m going after him, whether you like it or not.”
“Why the fuck are you doing this?” he shouted.
“He’s not acting like himself!” This version of Rafe was more unstable than usual because he was bottling up his demons, and I was terrified of what he’d do when he finally exploded.
I tossed the metal handcuffs I’d taken from Rafe’s kink drawer onto the table.
“Cuff yourself to that pole,” I said, indicating the metal rod that separated the sitting area from the galley.
He picked up the cuffs and dangled them by a finger. “C’mon. Be reasonable. You and I both know you aren’t going to fire that gun.”
“Do you really wanna find out?”
He let out a few colorful words before grudgingly complying. After he’d trapped the pole between his arms with his hands shackled on the other side, I edged past him and ignored the icy glare he sent my way.
“You have no fucking idea what you’re doing. Rafe is gonna make you pay for this, and when he does, I’ll be there watching.”
Stowing the gun in my purse, I took off toward the stairs and grabbed an oversized hoodie I assumed belonged to Rafe on the way, pushing my arms through the sleeves as I climbed the steps.
Reality hit me with paralyzing force the instant the wind hit my face, putrid with the scent of fish and fresh saltwater.
Months had passed since I’d tested my ability to overcome my phobia.
It wasn’t like riding a bike or catching up with an old friend—things a person could pick up months or even years later as if no time had passed.
The longer I spent away from facing my worst fear, the harder it was to overcome when the need arose.
And I needed not to freeze now. Sickness boiled in my stomach, and I wanted to slap Rafe silly for taking off, for doing God knows what without telling me what the hell was going on.
I earned each step toward the side of the boat through deep breaths, plenty of chanting, and even a few blind stumbles as I squeezed my eyes shut.
I didn’t remember alighting from the boat, but the trek down the dock brought on a panic attack.
I sank to the damp wooden planks, my palms sliding in the moisture from the drizzle of Pacific Northwest rain, and willed myself into a state of tunnel vision.
Nothing else existed except that field, just mere feet away.
Jumping to my feet, I sprinted across the slick surface and skidded into the muddy grass.
Shit, I didn’t have time for this. Rafe had at least twenty minutes on me.
Probably longer. Pushing to my feet again, I searched the area, eyes scanning the field for the barn.
Through the fog, I made out a brown structure that rose higher than most outbuildings, so I assumed I’d find him there. Doing what, I didn’t know.
Those cuffs should hold Jax for a while, but it didn’t matter.
I still had the gun tucked away in my purse, and I’d threaten to shoot anyone that tried stopping me.
My tiny frame swam in the hoodie, but the larger size only aided in hiding my face.
A lazy gust of wind teased the hood, and I tugged it low over my forehead.
Picking up my pace, I headed toward the barn, and the building grew bigger as I approached.
A door in the front stood ajar. I tiptoed toward it, my back stiffening as male voices filled the air. I recognized Rafe’s instantly, but a second voice, tone deep and even, wasn’t familiar at all. Then I heard my brother speak, and a chill rivaling the temperature crawled down my spine.
“I don’t have a problem with these terms at all.”
A scuffle sounded, and when I risked peeking through the crack in the door, I saw two men holding Rafe back from Zach. He swung his fists anyway and missed Zach by a few inches. My brother stood between two additional men, but his hands were cuffed behind him so he couldn’t defend himself.
“Of course you don’t have a problem with it,” Rafe said, one lip curving upward in a sneer. “You sick piece of shit. You fucking wrecked her.” He spit on Zach’s sneakers. “I’ll die before I let you get your hands on her again.”
“Hmm,” Zach said, tilting his head, appearing unfazed by the spittle on his shoes. “Yeah, I don’t have a problem with that either.”
“Enough.” A man cut the air with a firm hand, and the way everyone grew silent, I figured he was the guy in charge.
“How about we calm down and have a civilized conversation?” He swung his gaze between Rafe and Zach.
“I get it. The two of you got issues. But that’s what the cage is for. Work it out there.”
Rafe glowered at him. “I don’t care who the fuck you are, Shelton. You’re not involving Alex in this.”
“That ain’t for you to decide. We’re playing on my turf, so we’re playing by my rules. You and De Luca junior here will each have a fair shot in the cage. Winner walks away with a hundred grand and the girl, and that’s my final word on this.”
“Like I said,” Zach said, tilting his chin up. “I don’t have a problem with this plan. Better than rotting in that Mexican prison.” He glared at Rafe. “Thanks for that, by the way.”
“I’ll pass on your regards to Jax. If I had my way, you’d be a fucking corpse. You might rethink your decision to escape after I’m done.”
“C’mon now.” Shaking his head, Shelton stepped between Rafe and Zach. “Let’s just call this a settled matter and get on with it, hmm?” He gestured to his men, and they let Rafe go.
Rafe stepped back, cracking the tension from his neck. He was the picture of cooperation, but I knew him too well. He could strike at any moment whether it was smart or not. I forced my feet to stay put. Intruding into this meeting was not smart.
“I’ll give you the day, my man.” Shelton slapped Rafe on the back. “But bring the girl here tonight. I’ll make sure she’s treated well and kept safe,” he said, throwing my brother a pointed look.
“No fucking way,” Rafe shouted. He lurched forward, and the other guys were on him again.
“Look,” Shelton said, holding his arms out at his sides. “It’s one fight, and if this feud between the two of you is any fucking indication, it’s going to be a helluva match. You both want a shot at each other, and you both want the girl. Sounds like a win-win to me.”
I couldn’t listen to anymore. As his words sank in, nausea burned in my throat. I pushed away from the barn and dry-heaved into the brush.
We couldn’t go through this again. We might not be trapped in a tunnel this time, but that man in there, imposing his will onto Rafe and me, left my stomach in knots.
That fight loomed like a death sentence, especially considering how they were discussing it in a barn, most likely miles from civilization.
This fight would transcend dangerous. It might even be deadly.
And I was the prize.