Chapter 20
RAFE
The salt of her tears sent me into a frenzy, and my insufferable cock twitched at the taste. I was free to fuck her now without the worry of fathering another kid. I wondered if she realized that. I hoped she did, because if she forced me to punish her with ginger again…
Damn it to hell. I didn’t want to do it. I wanted her to be real with me so we could tumble into bed and forget the fucking world existed for a while.
“Spit, babe. I wanna see my cum all over those beautiful tits.” I wanted to make sure she hadn’t discreetly swallowed; the show was a bonus.
Parting her lips, she let my cum dribble over her chin and onto her heaving tits. Her hair cascaded around her shoulders, curls a tempting tangled mess that teased her pink cheeks.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” I removed the clothespins from her nipples, loving the way she hissed air between her teeth from the sudden rush of blood. “Let’s try this again. What’s bothering you?”
She twisted her head to the side. Sensing how difficult this was for her, I allowed her that bit of space while I grabbed a towel from the galley.
“Do I need to get the ginger out?” I asked as I passed her the hand towel.
The frantic shake of her head was immediate. Even so, she took her time wiping my cum off her tits, and I knew she was stalling
“Babe, my cum isn’t the only thing you need to get off your chest.”
“I’ve been having dreams about Zach.”
I wanted to punish her ass into next Sunday upon hearing those words. “What kind of dreams?”
“The kind that…” She gulped. “They’re sick. I don’t understand them.” She shook her head. “Please, Rafe. I’m begging you. Let this go.”
“No fucking way in hell. You’re gonna tell me every last detail.”
“They’re sexual.” She nibbled on her lip. “He’s doing things to me.”
“What kind of things?” I asked between gritted teeth.
She closed her eyes but was unable to hide her pain. I gathered her in my arms and sent myself a swift kick in the ass for being such an idiot. She was trying so hard to obey me, and I wasn’t making this easy.
“Just tell me,” I said, softening my tone.
“We’re back in the tunnel. I’m upside down, tied up. You’re in chains. Nikki’s there—” Her voice fractured.
I slid a hand into her hair, grasping her by the nape. “Go on.”
“Zach’s taunting you, touching me…”
Her arms snaked around me, holding on tight, and I let out a sigh. The dreams had disturbed her deeply, and not because she still wanted Zach, but because he was a fucking lunatic that scared her.
Why I couldn’t get that to stick, I might never know.
Her quick intake of breath told me there was more. Afraid of rattling her further, I remained silent and waited.
“Call off the fight. Rafe, please. I’ll do anything. I’ll let you torture me with ginger, let you fuck me any way you want—”
“You’ll already let me do that.”
“That’s beside the point!” She shot me a seething glare. “Don’t do this, I’m begging you. Call off the fight.”
“I can’t. There’s too much at play here. Too much at stake. You have to understand—”
“I understand one of you is going to die!” She shoved against my chest, putting all her strength into untangling herself from my embrace. “And I don’t want it to be you.”
“You want Zach dead then?” I asked, raising a speculative brow. “Is that what you’re saying?”
She shuffled back, and I wanted to shake an answer from her because my sanity, everything I was, hinged on what fell from those luscious lips.
Lips still damp from my cum.
Fuck, she was the distraction from hell.
“That’s not what I meant.”
My heart plopped somewhere in my gut. “What do you mean, then?”
She retreated. I advanced. We’d been perfecting this dance for ages, it seemed.
“I don’t wanna see anyone else hurt.”
“Even Zach?”
She licked her lips then sucked her lower one between her teeth.
“Answer me,” I snapped, my attention captured by her mouth and thoughts of what it did to me.
“Even him.”
“After everything that piece of shit has done, why would you want me to spare him?”
“It’s not about him, Rafe. God! It’s about you! You’re better than this. You’re not a fucking murderer.”
“I killed Perrone,” I pointed out.
A hint of uncertainty washed over her pale face. “Self-defense, no doubt.”
She had no fucking clue. I’d scorched her ass with ginger. Allowed another man to beat her. I’d fucked her in the ass against her wishes, yet she still didn’t see what stood right in front of her.
“I’m a monster, Alex. I choked Jax’s uncle in prison. I hunted Brock down and choked him to death too. Still think I’m better than this?”
She jerked her head back and forth, eyes wide. Disbelieving. She backed up another step and stumbled into the wall.
“I know who you are in here,” she said, placing a trembling hand over her heart. “Your capacity to forgive tells me all I need to know about you. I don’t know what road you’ve been down these past few months, but this is not you.” She was clinging to denial of epic proportions.
“It is me, babe.” I launched myself at her, caging her in, giving off an intimidating vibe even she couldn’t deny. “I want to kill him.” I grabbed her chin and lowered my face to hers, and our lips nearly met. “It kills me that you don’t want it too. He deserves nothing less than death.”
She swallowed hard. “We all deserve things, Rafe.”
“What would you have me do then, huh? Let the fucker kill me and take off with you?”
Her eyes widened, then something I couldn’t name passed over her features.
“A decision,” she muttered. “I choose you. Always. Do what you have to do, but don’t you dare forget who you are.
” She slid her palm up my abs and stalled at my galloping heartbeat.
“Don’t forget who you are in here. You’re the love of my life, Rafe.
The guy I’ve been head over heels for since before I knew what love was. ”
“Fuck, baby.” I buried my face in her shoulder, overcome with…just fucking overcome. “I don’t want you to hate me.”
“Impossible,” she whispered. “I have no choice but to love you.”