Chapter 11
The hair on the back of my neck stood on end as I rushed through the rain toward the hospital.
The uneasy sensation of being watched settled over me, though in the back of my mind I knew the feeling was likely a result of what had happened in the office earlier.
I felt exposed and on display, as if every person I crossed paths with thought the word “slut” after a single glance.
The instant I entered Eve’s room, my paranoid worry about gossip and rumors vanished. Dr. Leah Gordon’s weary expression threatened to strangle me. My heart plummeted, and I instinctively sensed something was wrong.
“Kayla, maybe you should have a seat.”
I shook my head. “No, just tell me.”
Her shoulders slumped slightly. “Eve’s blood work came in. It’s not encouraging.”
“But…but…” I suddenly couldn’t form a coherent sentence. The walls in the room closed in as the doctor’s words percolated in my head. “You said her chances were good…”
Dr. Gordon laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. “I was optimistic, yes, but we’re not seeing the results I’d hoped for.”
I brought a trembling hand to my mouth. Eve was fast asleep in bed, her skin so pale it nearly matched the pasty color of the bed sheets. My eyes zeroed in on the dried blood caking the skin underneath her nostrils. “She had another nose bleed?”
“Yes, and she became quite agitated. The nurse got her to calm down by rocking her. She’s been resting for the past hour.”
I grabbed a washcloth and ran it under warm water, then gently wiped her face. She stirred but didn’t wake. She looked peaceful. Sick, but peaceful.
I faced Dr. Gordon again. “What can we do?”
“I don’t want to get your hopes up, but there is a clinical trial we can try…if we can get her enrolled in time, that is. It’s a long shot.” Her face softened in sympathy.
“Do it.” I blinked away tears. “Do whatever you have to.”
The doctor hesitated. “Getting her into the trial isn’t the only issue. Like the last treatment, your insurance won’t cover it. You’ve indicated your finances aren’t—”
“I’ll get the money. How soon can she get in?”
“I’ll do my best, but you might want to prepare…making her comfortable is about all we can do at this point unless something changes.”
I blinked several times until the sting in my eyes abated. A knock sounded, and the door creaked open behind me. Dr. Gordon gave me one last sympathetic look. “I’ll let the two of you visit.”
I turned around in time to see her nod at Ian on her way out.
“Hi.” His eyes traveled the length of my body, from the red locks of my hair to the spiky heels encasing my feet. “How was the business trip?”
“Exhausting.” That much was true; Gage Channing had put me through the wringer. Nothing compared to this, though. My eyes burned with more unshed tears.
You are not breaking down in front of him.
I turned back to Eve and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Can you give me a minute?” I closed my eyes and breathed in her scent, and my throat tightened. “Please.”
“What’s wrong?” The rustling of his clothing reached my ears.
“The treatment isn’t-isn’t…”
“Kayla…I don’t know what to say. ” His breath whispered across the back of my neck. “I’m so sorry. I don’t have any kids…I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through right now.”
I couldn’t stop despair from overflowing, and when I sensed him reaching for me, I jerked out of his grasp.
“Please…don’t.” Speaking to him about my daughter was one thing, but allowing myself to fall apart in his embrace was another.
I wouldn’t be able to stop crying if he wrapped those strong arms around me; I remembered much too vividly the comfort and shelter they offered. I finally turned and faced him.
“Don’t shut me out,” he pleaded. “You need me…I’m here.”
“Why now?” I was playing with fire, but I couldn’t stop the question from escaping. “It’s been seven years, Ian.”
“Seven years too long.” He shook his head. “You pushed me out of your life, moved away, wouldn’t take my calls…why’d you disappear like that?”
“Can we not get into this right now?”
“We used to mean everything to each other.” He drew in a breath. “I came back for you, Kayla.”
I wanted to lean on him so badly. He’d been my rock, the one person I could trust no matter what.
But leaning on him was off-limits. Gage would go ballistic if he found out I was talking to him.
“Eve and I will be okay,” I whispered, needing to believe it was true more than anything.
“Dr. Gordon mentioned a clinical trial.”
“She’s a fighter,” he said. “Just like her mom.”
No three-year-old should have to fight so hard to live. Another piece of my heart broke off and shattered. If I lost Eve…I couldn’t fathom living.
“Is there anything I can do?” he asked, looking about as helpless as I felt.
I shook my head. Ian couldn’t step back into the role of protector and comforter…
lover. Things change, and as much as I hated to admit it, the only person who could help me now was my sadistic boss.
I’d do whatever Gage wanted, so long as he made sure my daughter had a fighting chance. With his money and resources…
“I just need some time. Please, Ian.”
He ran his hand over his mouth and reluctantly nodded. “You know where to find me.”
“I know.”
He went to the door, and I sensed him wavering. “I’ve missed you,” he said as he slipped from the room.
I stretched out next to Eve and pulled her into my arms. “I’ve missed you too.”