Chapter 18
We left before sunrise, and my tears fell in an endless stream once Eve and I sped down the road. I had a full tank of gas, a credit card with unlimited capabilities, and nowhere to go. No one to turn to. So I just drove, practically on autopilot because I was aware of nothing.
Only the hum of the road underneath me and the trickle of rain splashing the windshield.
Eventually, the flow of heartbreak slowed, and I realized I’d looped downtown Portland on the freeways twice when the first hint of pain began in my lower back. I straightened in the driver’s seat and tried to get comfortable, but my head swam.
God, pull it together, Kayla.
Eve slept in the backseat. I glanced into the rearview, noticing how uncomfortable she looked with her head hanging over the edge of the car seat.
I couldn’t be a wreck when she awoke. Wiping my eyes, I looped the city again and gave myself time to calm down, but it didn’t help much, especially when the traffic on the 405 came to a standstill.
Wonderful.
My stomach grumbled, and I was sure Eve must have been hungry too since we’d left his house without eating.
Traffic inched forward at an agonizing pace—morning rush hour traffic at its finest for sure.
My stomach grumbled again, this time accompanied by cramping that gripped my right side with the strength of pliers.
I squeezed the steering wheel and told myself everything was okay.
It’d been a couple of stressful days, and I remembered cramping during my pregnancy with Eve. My stomach was too empty; I’d thrown up again before leaving his driveway and had gotten a bit of satisfaction at leaving my nasty bile on his pavement.
Pain spread through my abdomen, and my pulse sped up, thundering in my ears as I drew air into my lungs.
This was more than hunger pains. The black interior of the car wavered, as if I saw it through warped glass, and a dull ache started in my shoulder.
Suddenly weak, I let my head fall back against the headrest and closed my eyes.
Someone honked. Behind me?
I didn’t know. Was traffic moving? I couldn’t concentrate beyond the pain. Something was wrong, and I thought back to my first pregnancy; the one Rick caused me to miscarry.
Not again.
Last night, Gage had slammed me into the bathroom wall before he’d stalked out, and when he’d returned…
But he hadn’t hurt me. Not really. He may have marked my ass and thighs, but the real damage had been psychological.
Someone honked again just as my vision started to fade.
Blindly, I reached for my purse, tried to get my hands on my cell as my foot let up on the brake.
The car lurched forward and hit something…
I was on my back when I gasped to awareness. My arms and legs thrashed, and someone held them down. Panic cut off my air, and I couldn’t make a sound, so where was that screaming coming from? That gut-wrenching crying? Sounded much too young to be me.
Eve.
Eve was crying. Where was she? I needed her by me, needed her hand in mine so she wouldn’t be alone and scared. I found my voice but no more than a whimper escaped as my right side lit on fire.
“…into shock! Let’s move it!”
Voices, commotion, bodies crowding me, hands reaching, yet I could grab onto nothing.
I sucked in each breath, as if through a straw, and a drop of sweat trickled down my face.
My whole body heated—too hot, too drenched.
I was burning alive where my baby nestled; my tiny baby who had yet to form arms and legs, fingers and toes. Who barely had a heartbeat.
I was losing him, and Eve had asked for a brother last Christmas.
My stomach dropped at the sensation of being lifted, and when I opened my eyes for a second, squinting against the colorful lights that strobed atop the ambulance, I saw the ominous clouds overhead.
Thick and grey, they extinguished the brilliance of the rising sun and set the scene perfectly for this day.
“Wh…what’s happening?” I managed to say.
“We’re taking you to the ER. We’re doing everything we can to help you,” a deep voice assured.
But the crying hadn’t stopped. My poor baby. Why was she crying? “My daughter…”
“She’s okay. An officer is taking her to the hospital. Is there someone we can call to meet her?”
“Gage”—I felt myself sinking, much too fast—“Channing.” Why had I given his name? He hated me, hated the baby.
The baby…
“I’m pregnant.” I moaned as another wave of pain hit. I must be dying, I thought before there was simply…nothing.