Chapter 5
Monday morning arrived with rain. The deluge gushed from the sky, leaving pools of water that tempted little feet to splash through them. Eve thought about it, but a stern look from me changed her mind.
I blew kisses to her as she climbed the stairs of the school bus, her sneakers lighting up with each step. After the bus disappeared down the road, I returned to the house. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t displace the feeling of dread settling in my gut.
Gage still hadn’t left for work.
Ian still wanted to meet today in his office.
I wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep the dilemma away.
No such luck. I found Gage in his pajamas. He sat on a bar stool in the kitchen, reading the newspaper and sipping coffee.
“Running late this morning?” I asked, rinsing the few dishes left over from breakfast.
“I’m the boss. I’m never late.” I heard the bar stool scrape across the floor, followed by his quiet steps bringing him closer. “It’s a hard decision, choosing between work and chaining you up in the basement.”
A plate slipped from my sudsy hands and clanked into the sink. Luckily, it didn’t break.
He pressed his lips to the side of my neck, his warm breath inducing a delicious shiver.
“I want to spend some time with you, just the two of us. In fact, I plan on spending a lot of time with you this week.” He leaned into me the slightest bit, his cock nudging my ass.
“I’ve been hard all morning, Kayla. Do you know how difficult it is not to bend you over and fuck you right now? ”
I clutched the edge of the sink, biting back a groan. He ran his fingers through my hair, taunting with what I would miss this week.
“I need a cold shower,” he muttered, backing away. “When you’re done in here, I want you on your knees in our bedroom.”
“O-okay.” My heart battered my ribcage long after he left the kitchen.
I finished loading the dishwasher, then for a few moments, I gripped the counter.
Let it prop me up. Once again, I couldn’t ignore the hunch that he was punishing me.
Was he playing a cruel game? A game designed to mess with my head?
Psychological instead of physical.
Or was he simply amping up his need to conquer and control, and my guilt was wreaking havoc by making me read more into his behavior? Either way, I was frozen. Under his thumb, life had become restrictive and suffocating.
But it’s never dull.
Sometimes, that voice in my head was too fucking right.
I tuned into the sound of the dishwasher and let the steady swoosh swoosh calm my nerves, let it wash away the annoying voices in my head.
I was supposed to be somewhere today, but that wasn’t going to happen since he’d forbidden me to leave the house this week.
Taking a detour to the foyer, I grabbed my phone from the table and crept down the hall toward our bedroom. As I peered through the door, my cell pressed to one ear while I listened for the sound of the shower, Simone answered with her usual to-the-point greeting.
“Hey,” I said, keeping my voice low. “I can’t come in this week.”
A pause came over the line, and even though Simone wasn’t standing in front of me, I imagined her dark blond brows furrowing. “Why?”
Her suspicious tone pricked at my defenses, and I let out a sigh, growing tired of arguing with her about my marriage.
But she was the only person who knew of the type of relationship Gage and I had…
besides Ian, but I didn’t want to think about him or how I’d done the unthinkable by seeing him over the weekend.
Or how I was tempted to do something even more stupid, like see him again.
“Something came up. I’m sorry.”
“You mean Gage came up. Is his dick more important that those kids?”
“That is—” Not fair. Shit. His cock wasn’t even an issue right now since he had no intention of fucking me until our anniversary.
And those kids…they were important. So important that I’d gone to great lengths to hide my volunteer work from my husband because no amount of logic would penetrate his thick skull when it came to my being in the same building as his brother twice a week.
Sick children or not.
“I’ll be back next week.” I owed Simone more than I could ever repay.
She’d been Eve’s favorite nurse in the hospital.
And she’d become a true friend since I’d married Gage.
The kind of friend I talked to, which didn’t always work in my favor at times like these.
I’d shared too much of my life with her, and she didn’t always “get it.”
She didn’t understand that I owed Gage even more. He would own every part of me until the day I died.
“Damn it, Kayla. I promised Emma you were coming in this morning. Your visits are the highlight of her week.”
Simone’s words fisted my heart. I remembered Eve in that hospital, alone and scared because I hadn’t been there when she needed me.
I’d been too busy selling my soul to the devil to save her.
Emma spent a lot of time alone in that place too, since her mother was a single parent who couldn’t afford to miss work.
Nurses and volunteers helped fill that gap, just like they had for Eve.
Emma was only six, the same age as Eve. And she could die…like Eve almost had.
“I’ll try to stop in today for a little while. I want to be there.”
“Then be here. This is ridiculous. You’re a grown woman. When the hell are you gonna stand up to him?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is. He either respects you, or you walk. You can’t get much simpler than that.”
She’d never felt the need to hold back. Simone told it like she saw it, right or wrong.
“Gage is complex.”
“I don’t care if he’s Jesus. How can you justify his behavior?”
I ground my teeth and counted to ten. “I knew what to expect the day I married him. Nothing about him has changed.” I was beginning to sound like a fucking broken record.
“But you’ve changed. I see how unhappy you are. You might have agreed to this insane arrangement the day you married the bastard, but you’re not happy about it now.”
“You don’t need to resort to name calling.”
“Look,” she said in a clipped tone. “You’re my friend, so that means I’m going to have your back no matter what. But—”
“There’s always a ‘but,’” I interrupted.
“But,” she began, “you deserve more than this. After everything you went through with Eve, you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be safe.”
So did Eve, and that’s what Simone and Ian didn’t understand. Gage made her happy. So how could I justify walking away when things got bumpy, knowing that it would devastate her?
I couldn’t.
“I’m sorry.” I peeked through the ajar door and saw steam rolling from the bathroom. So much for the cold shower. “Tell Emma I’ll try to visit today. If I can’t, I’ll make it up to her. I won’t let her down.”
“You just did.”
I couldn’t argue with her because she was right.
Not only was I disappointing a little girl fighting to live, but I was disappointing myself.
Disappointed in myself. Disgusted, even.
What happened to the ballsy woman who’d stood up to him that first night in the basement? The first night he’d fucked me.
Raped you, the voice of reason whispered in my ear.
That night felt like a lifetime ago.
The spray of the shower shut off, and a few seconds later he entered the bedroom wearing a towel around his waist. I relaxed my face, willing my mask of everything’s a-okay to fall into place, and pushed the door open.
“I’ve gotta go,” I told Simone.
“He’s there, isn’t he?”
“I’ll call you later,” I said, skirting her question.
“See?” Her tone came out testy. “You’re lying to him about something you shouldn’t have to hide in the first place, but mostly, you’re lying to yourself.”
I had no argument left, so I ended the call and calmly set the phone on the dresser.
“Was that Simone?” Gage asked, brows furrowing in a way that hinted at his irritation.
“Yeah.” I swallowed hard.
“Did you tell her you’re not available this week?”
I sat down on the bed and eyed his hard body as he let the towel drop to the floor.
“I let her know, but I don’t understand why this is an issue.
” I’d only been a volunteer for a few weeks, but I was growing attached to those kids, and I hated the idea of not being there for them this week, especially Emma.
“Don’t argue with me, Kayla,” he said, the tick in his jaw speaking volumes. “This week, you’re mine and mine alone.” He pushed me back onto the mattress and shoved my legs apart. Dropping to his knees, he pulled me toward his face with a rough, demanding grip.
My lips parted, and I closed my eyes as a sigh escaped. His hot breath teased between my thighs, hovering. Barely there, but potent enough to scatter my thoughts.
“I’ll forgive you for not greeting me on your knees, seeing as how you were distracted by your friend.” He shot a hand out and pinched my nipple. Squeezed. Twisted.
I cried out and instinctively tried moving out of reach, but he intensified the pressure between his thumb and forefinger.
“You will not move unless I tell you to. You’re going to lie here, spread wide, your cunt aching for my mouth.” He nudged my thigh with his nose, drawing a whining plea from my throat. He took my other nipple between two sadistic fingers and pinched.
The pressure was never ending—between my legs and in my nipples. They both ached in two entirely different and unbearable ways. My whole body trembled as I willed it to remain unmoving, even as the vise of his fingers tortured me.
Another small cry tumbled from my disobedient lips. “Please, Master.”
“You desperate little thing,” he whispered, his words a heated caress on my pussy. “Fucking turns me on so much.” Abruptly, he let me go.
I sat up, placing my weight on my elbows, and watched him through my confusion. He turned his back on me and began dressing. “What are you doing?” I asked.
“Going to work.”
Of course he was. I flopped back on the bed and squeezed my eyes shut.
“I’m not touching your sweet cunt, Kayla. And neither are you.”
I must have groaned out loud because he laughed. Even when he laughed at me, I found him sexy—that deep and rich sound that shivered along my skin. “You’re the devil.”
The mattress depressed on either side of my head, and when I opened my eyes, I found his face inches away. Tempting me. Drawing my head up until our lips met.
He moaned into my mouth, and strength seemed to drain from his bones. He blanketed my body, his weight growing heavier by the second. “But I’m your devil. Always, Kayla. I love you so fucking much.” Inching back, he gave me a severe look that stole my breath. “You know that, don’t you, baby?”
I nodded, barely able to breathe, and somehow managed to tell him that I loved him too. And right then I knew I wouldn’t see Ian again. I couldn’t do that to Gage, no matter how much his behavior infuriated me.
“Good,” he said. “Because I do. There is no one more important to me on this planet than you and Eve.”
My body felt like a limp noodle. I remained speechless as he finished dressing. He kissed me one last time before heading toward the bedroom door, adjusting his cufflinks as he strode with purpose.
“I want you to come to the office today. I’ll text you.” The door shut quietly upon his exit, and I hated myself because I knew what I’d be doing all morning.
Anxiously waiting for the devil to summon me.