Chapter 20
Icracked after three days of imprisonment. Locked inside his cage of hell with my mouth gagged and nipples clamped, my wrists and ankles bound—I cried harder than I’d ever cried before. Sobs wrenched from my gut, and I worried I was close to hyperventilating.
Snot ran from my nose, mixing with the saliva escaping the gag. I was a hot mess. A blubbering mess. A mess he mostly ignored, other than to free me for ten minutes every two hours so I could move around and regain circulation. So I could eat and use the bathroom.
So I could feel like a fucking human being again for the small amount of time he allowed.
He had yet to strike me with anything, but just being inside this contraption was soul-sucking, and thinking of the endless weeks to come…
I was going insane, my mind shattering, my nerves teetering on the ledge. If Gage intended to make me forget about Ian, he’d done a bang up job because his idea of imprisonment tormented me to the point that I couldn’t think of anything else.
The touch of his warm hands on my ass cheeks startled me. My chest heaved every couple of seconds, spasming with sobs.
“Baby, calm down. Getting so worked up isn’t going to help.”
Calm down? Calm down? My mind screamed at him because I sure as fuck couldn’t do it vocally.
He slid his finger between my legs, and that had an immediate effect. Not necessarily a calming one, but it was something.
“I’m trying to work, but you’re over here about to have a panic attack.” He plunged a finger into my pussy. Instantly, arousal flared. It had been over two weeks since he’d let me come. But even worse, two weeks had gone by since I’d slept at his side.
“If you can calm down and behave, I’ll think about making you come tonight.”
I shook my head, protesting despite the gag. I only wanted him—like a druggie craving the next fix. Like a child craving candy. Like I craved Gage Channing.
“So you don’t want to come?” He sounded surprised and amused. He smacked my ass hard. “You want me to punish you?”
I shook my head again.
Another smack brought me to my toes. The impact of his palm tingled over my skin, more arousing than painful. I heard him insert a key, and the door squeaked open. He unbuckled the gag then wiped my face with a napkin.
“What does my naughty prisoner want then?”
“Master, I want to sleep in our bed tonight.”
“Why do you want that?”
Another sob hitched. “I miss you so much. Please, Master. I will stand here all day without making a sound if you’ll just hold me tonight.”
I heard him suck in a breath, which gave me hope because he didn’t seem as collected as he would have me believe.
“Behave yourself, and we’ll see.”
He reinserted the gag, and for the next few hours, I stood silent and still, determined more than ever to do as I was told.
When afternoon rolled around, and he freed me so I could tend to Eve, I’d allowed hope to settle in, and hope was a dangerous thing when it came to a man like Gage, especially considering how angry and hurt he was over my actions.
Today he’d been gentle, even kind, but on other days, he’d had nothing but snide remarks and scornful planes on his gorgeous face.
My mistake had snowballed into something horrific and ugly, and I worried no time in the world could erase what I’d done, could patch his heart back together. Or mine, for that matter.
“What’s wrong, Mommy?”
I picked at my salad that night at dinner. “Nothing baby. I’m just tired.” I mustered a smile and met her inquisitive gaze. “How was school?”
“At lunch, I sat with Vanessa and Toby.”
“What happened to Leah?”
Eve’s face crumbled. “She said she’s not my friend anymore.”
Her sadness pricked at my heart. “Why did she say that?”
Rather than answer, Eve shrugged and spooned in a bite of mashed potatoes.
“Answer your mother, Eve.”
She sat up straight upon hearing his no-bullshit tone. It was a tone I knew well, and though I appreciated him backing me up, it also bothered me that he often talked to us both in the same manner.
Like children, only Eve was my child.
“She said I was being mean, but I wasn’t.”
“Did she tell you why she thought that?”
Her lower lip poked out. “Some kids called her names. She said I wasn’t her friend anymore because I laughed.”
“Did you say you’re sorry? That wasn’t very nice.”
“I wasn’t laughing at her, Mommy! The names were funny.”
“Princess, just tell her you’re sorry, and you didn’t mean it.” Gage’s attention landed on me. “People make mistakes. I’m sure she’ll forgive you.”
I held my breath for a full minute, unable to erase his words from my mind. I wanted to believe that forgiveness was possible, that we could find our way back to each other, but the road ahead seemed endless and full of rocky mountains I’d have to climb over first.
I came across the first rocky hill later that night after Eve went to bed. I’d been so out of my mind all week with being locked in that cage, that I failed to realize tonight was Friday.
Gage had no problem reminding me. A little after 11 p.m., I found myself bent over the end of our bed, my fingers gripping my skirt and exposing my ass to him. Only this time he wasn’t using his belt.
He gripped the bullwhip.
“Master, I’m scared.”
“You should be.”
“Please don’t hurt me.”
“Did you stop to think how your cheating would hurt me?”
“Yes, Master.”
“But you touched him anyway.” The tail cracked an instant before the strike landed. My entire body tensed. I remained silent, but only because the pain knocked the air from my lungs. Before I was able to catch my breath, he struck again.
I tried managing my breathing, willed my muscles to relax and accept the brutality of his arm, but my screams fractured the air. After the twentieth lash, he dropped the whip, pulled the drawer to our nightstand open, and grabbed a tube of cream.
A groan almost escaped me as he applied the ointment to the reddening welts on my backside. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sit for a while.
“Do you still want to sleep in our bed?”
My heart skipped. “Yes, Master.”
He crossed the room and turned off the light.
I didn’t move from my bent over position at the end of the mattress.
He scooped me into his arms, stunning me into a boneless mess, and tucked me against him under the sheets.
His warm embrace surrounded me, and my heart wouldn’t stop thumping a furious beat as I sank into him.
The intensity of the moment washed over me, and I drew on the vestiges of my strength to hold back my tears.
“I know I’ve been harsh with you.”
I didn’t know how to answer that. His punishment was more than I could bear, yet I understood him. No sane person would, but he was my crazy, and I understood him. I also knew how deep his hurt ran. His wounds would bleed for a long time, slow to scab over.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Master.”
“I know, baby.” He nuzzled my neck. “Get some sleep.”
For the first time in two weeks, I slept in complete harmony, wrapped in my husband’s arms.