Chapter 2
Awareness could be a cruel thing, especially when it was of one’s self.
The whisper in my head, an irritating voice that sounded eerily close to my own, chanted vicious truth.
I was a sex addict. No. I was a Gage Channing addict.
I’d given up the idea of quitting him a long time ago, but tonight, as I set the table and prepared to greet him, I realized just how pathetic I was, how far I’d fallen through the fissures in my sanity.
He’d thrown down the anal gauntlet at the most opportune time—for him anyway—when he had me out of my mind and foaming at the mouth from withdrawal.
I could think of nothing else since I’d left his office.
My head was crammed full of Gage and sex and the pain he’d inevitably inflict.
Poor Eve had been dealing with my dazed-like distraction all afternoon.
I’d managed to get my head out of my ass long enough to help her with her homework.
We spent thirty minutes gathering leaves from the ground, each one a bright shade of autumn splendor.
Afterward, I patiently watched her glue them to an outline of a tree on a white piece of paper.
But the glue hadn’t even dried before I’d gone back to obsessing over Gage’s plans for my ass.
Something rose in my throat. Fear? Maybe.
I swallowed that bitter lump of emotion as I layered the ingredients for lasagna into a baking dish.
It was Gage’s favorite, but I guess tonight was all about Gage’s favorites, especially anal.
That word had such intensity to it, such power and control. And fear it I did, because anal was so unpredictable. Sometimes it felt good. Unbelievably good. But other times…
Gage was careful, but his definition of careful and mine were two entirely different things.
Sometimes his sadism took over and my ass became the casualty.
We didn’t do it often, and I suspected that was the reason why.
Even he didn’t quite trust himself. How could he, when he craved my pain on such a fundamental level?
Fifteen minutes before I expected him home, a text pinged my cell. He’d given back my phone a few weeks ago, with parental controls to restrict my access, of course. In addition to emergency contacts, and Eve’s school and doctors, I could only call or text him, and vice versa.
Gage: what’s Eve doing?
Me: watching tv
Gage: did she finish her homework?
Me: yep, all done
Gage: good, go into the bedroom and touch yourself. I’m checking you when I get home. You’d better be wet.
I bit back a groan as I tapped out a yes, Master.
Gage: lock the door and get on all fours on the bed. First thing I want to see is your ass in the air. I’ll be there in a few.
Damn him.
Setting my cell on the counter, I eyed the oven and the minutes ticking by. Eve was engrossed in her “TV time,” which gave me a chance to slip down the hall and quietly push the bedroom door open.
I couldn’t help but love this game that Gage and I played.
The rules always changed, and he always won, but the ride was the biggest thrill ever—like sitting white-knuckled at the top of a roller coaster, on the cusp of hurtling down into the unknown.
I locked the door, well aware he had a key, and crossed to the bed and got into position.
Head down, ass up. I slipped my fingers between my legs and started stroking, going easy because it would take so little to get me there, and that was, under no circumstances, allowed.
I heard his car through the cracked window in our bedroom, followed by footsteps that led him to the front door.
Then silence stole over me, save for my rapid pulse.
I listened for a hint of him in the hall but detected not a single footfall.
Besides, I didn’t need to hear or see him to know the exact moment he entered the bedroom.
His presence tingled on my skin, sparking my nerve endings until they sizzled with electricity. My body flushed, and the satin comforter seemed to grow hot under my skin.
He had me boiling already.
“Dinner smells wonderful,” he murmured, taking my vulnerable ass in his hands. “According to the timer, we’ve got six minutes.”
“Six minutes for what?” I gulped. He had to notice the shaky quality of my voice. Six minutes wasn’t nearly enough time. Not for anal.
“Relax. I’d never rush this. You should know better by now.” His clothing rustled, and I heard a cap open, followed by a squirt. “I’m only prepping you with a plug.”
I let out a breath. Those weren’t so bad. Sometimes, they were even…arousing. He pressed the cold, hard tip against my rectum, but he didn’t shove it in right away. Instead, he swirled the plug around my reluctant hole, spreading the lubricant.
He really was taking care with this, but considering my meltdown the last time he fucked me in the backdoor, I shouldn’t be surprised.
Gage lived to make me submit, and though my pain never failed to harden his cock, he’d come a long way from the monster he’d once been.
Either that or I’d trained myself to accept his will because it was easier than fighting him.
He nudged my ass with the plug, and I winced, my body automatically tensing.
“Just relax for me.”
I blew out a breath. Easier said than done.
He probed my ass more firmly, and this time he didn’t hesitate.
I didn’t dare move away from him, no matter how much I wanted to.
It didn’t matter that this was the biggest fucking butt plug he’d ever used.
It didn’t matter that it hurt. If I didn’t hold still and take that plug in silent submission, he would punish me into next Sunday.
Finally, the horrendous ring of fire abated, leaving in its wake an anus brimming with his toy.
He dragged a finger through my slit. “You are so damn wet. Such a dirty, needy girl.” He swatted my ass with enough force to extract a yelp from me. “Take a minute if you need to. I’ll get dinner on the table.” The soft pad of his feet carried him away from me, and his quiet exit echoed in my ears.
My heartbeat thundered as I made my way into the bathroom. Acclimating to the foreign object in my ass took a few moments, but by the time I’d wiped away the excess lube from between my cheeks, it felt mostly…comfortable.
Not really arousing though, considering the size. But Gage didn’t have a small cock, so I understood why he’d chosen this one.
I turned toward the door, mentally preparing to endure an evening of playing by Gage’s ever-changing rules, but my toiletry bag caught my eye. Had I left it out this morning? I must have because I’d been the last one in here.
Stupid. So stupid.
Holding my breath, I listened for footsteps.
There were none. I wandered closer to the bag and dug through it until I found what I was looking for.
The makeup compact felt cool and solid in my hands—a sharp contrast to the dread that burned in my gut.
Before I questioned the wisdom of my actions, I pulled out the tiny piece of paper and unfolded it.
I’d found the note taped to the front door one day, shortly after Gage had ended my sentence in his cage, and things between us had gone back to a weird sort of normal. But if he found this…
I shuddered to think of the consequences.
The paper was worn around the edges from taking it out often and reading the simple two-word message, jotted down in a familiar heart-wrenching scrawl.
I’m okay.