The Darkness Consumes

Chapter 4 Family re

Viviano sat slouched in one of the stiff chairs in the rec room, staring at the clock like it was ticking backwards. His knee bounced restlessly up and down, the movement sharp and jittery, like his body was trying to burn through the nervous energy that had crept up on him all morning.

It was finally time for him to have some visitor's.

After choking down a barely-warm breakfast and zoning out through another group therapy session that felt like emotional sandpaper, he'd been told to wait here until his name was called.

The room wasn't much. It had washed-out walls, a couple of beaten-up couches, and a shelf of old board games with missing pieces.

But it had one thing the other rooms didn't: a window that actually looked out onto something other than brick walls.

He didn't care what the view was. Just being in a room with potential made it a little less suffocating.

Still, he wasn't focused on that now. He was waiting for Matteo.

He hated how jumpy he felt, like some little kid waiting to be picked up from school.

His leg kept bouncing like it had a mind of its own, and he kept checking the door every time footsteps passed by in the hallway.

He tried to act like he didn't care, like it wasn't a big deal, but it was.

It really was. He hadn't seen his brother in days, and in here, days felt like months.

Part of him wanted to be angry again, to sit in that resentment he'd been clinging to ever since he got dropped off here.

Matteo was the one who'd pushed for this.

"Just get help, fratello (brother)," he'd said, like it was so damn easy.

Like being here didn't feel like being shoved into a box he didn't belong in.

But even with all that bitterness, Viv couldn't lie—he wanted to see him.

Just to feel something normal again. Just to remember what it felt like to be outside this place.

The clock ticked.

Still no sign of him.

Viv clenched his jaw, trying to keep cool. Trying not to care too much. Trying not to let the weight of everything he hadn't said yet build too loud in his chest.

Across the room, Viv's gaze drifted, not really looking for anything, just trying to stop himself from spiralling into more thoughts about Matteo and his family.

Like what he'd say, how he'd look at him, whether he'd act like everything was fine or like Viv was some fragile thing that needed babysitting.

That's when he spotted Ash.

His roommate was sitting on one of the armchairs near the far wall, legs tucked up, earbuds in. Same painted black nails. Same too-pretty genderless face that still confused the hell out of Viv. But today, Ash looked... lighter, somehow. Less tense.

A few minutes passed before the door creaked open and someone stepped in—a tall guy, probably 6'0" or more, built like he worked out but didn't care if you knew it.

He scanned the room, locked eyes with Ash, and then crossed over with purpose.

Viv watched as Ash pulled out his earbuds and stood up, and without even hesitating, the tall guy pulled him into a hug.

It wasn't awkward. It was the kind of hug you gave someone you really, truly cared about. Ash melted into it, face buried against the guy's chest for a second, and—holy shit—he actually smiled. Like a real one. Not sarcastic. Not shy. It lit up his whole face.

Viv blinked. His curiosity had sharpened.

Who was that guy that could make his quiet and barely alive roommate smile?

Was it his brother? No, they barely looked alike.

Friend? Uh... Boyfriend? He couldn't tell.

They looked too close to be just friends, but there wasn't anything obvious between them either.

They talked for a few seconds—Ash laughing at something the guy said—and then they slipped out of the room together.

Gone.

Viv looked back at the empty seat Ash had left behind. His knee kept bouncing. A few more people came and went. The room buzzed with low conversation, families reuniting with that awkward blend of relief and tension. Viv checked the clock again.

And then, finally, the door opened one more time, and there he was.

Matteo.

Same tired eyes. Same overgrown brown curls shoved under a red baseball cap he loved so much. His jaw looked tighter than usual, like he hadn't slept properly since Viv got admitted. He scanned the room, and when he saw Viv, his shoulders dropped just a little—like he'd finally exhaled.

Viv didn't stand. He just sat there, letting Matteo come to him.

"Ciao, fratello (hello brother)," Matteo smiled softly as he approached, his voice low and a little hesitant. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his worn out black hoodie, like he didn't quite know what to do with them.

"Ciao (hello)," Viv replied flatly, not moving from the chair. His eyes flicked over his brother's face, catching the dark circles under his eyes, the tightness in his mouth. Matteo looked like shit. Good. So did Viv.

"How are you doing?" Matteo asked gently, crouching a bit to be eye level.

"Good," Viv muttered, already looking away.

"You look tired."

"I'm fine."

There was a pause. Matteo glanced around the room like he was looking for a way to shift the energy. "Shall we take a walk?"

Viv narrowed his eyes. "Outside?"

Matteo hesitated. "I don't think that's allowed."

"Of course it isn't," Viv muttered, leaning back in the chair with a sharp sigh.

"Come on," Matteo said, nudging him lightly with his elbow. "Maybe you could show me your room?"

"Am I allowed?" Viv asked in a childish tone.

"I don't see why not," Matteo shrugged, his lips curling upwards a little. "As long as we're staying on the ward."

Viv didn't answer. He just stood up, motioned with his head, and walked Matteo through the hallway without saying a word. They passed by a few nurses and patients on the way, but Viv didn't acknowledge anyone. When they reached the door, he shoved it open and stepped aside.

"Here it is."

Matteo stepped inside and gave a polite little nod. "It's... nice."

"Don't bullshit me."

"Non ti sto mentendo (I am not lying to you)," Matteo said, still scanning the room like he was trying to find something redeemable in it.

"It sucks, Matteo," Viv said in a monotone voice, moving to sit on the edge of his bed, picking at a loose thread on the blanket.

"It's not about the bedroom anyway," Matteo said quietly, leaning against the wall by the door, almost like he was hesitant to come inside and make himself comfortable because he didn't know whether his little brother would want that. "It's about you. Getting better. Are you?"

Viv stayed silent.

"Come on, please talk to me. You know I'm sorry."

Viv's head snapped up. His expression was cold. "Are you? Because you haven't actually apologised to me. You keep saying it's for the best, but never once have you actually said the words."

Matteo's face fell. He rubbed the back of his neck, eyes dropping to the floor, He gnawed on his lip. "Mi dispiace (I'm sorry)."

Viv scoffed and looked away, his voice sharp with bitterness. "Whatever."

"I'm being serious. I am sorry," Matteo said again, softer this time.

His voice cracked a little at the edges, like he was holding something back.

He was standing near the end of the bed now, arms folded, shifting his weight from foot to foot like he couldn't get comfortable.

His eyes were locked on his younger brother, searching for forgiveness, or maybe even some understanding, but Viv refused to look at him.

Silence stretched out.

Viv just stared down at the floor, jaw tight, fingers curled slightly in the blanket bunched up in his lap. The tension between them felt like a storm was about to break.

"Okay, you know what? Fine. I'm not sorry," Matteo snapped, his voice rising suddenly like a match catching flame.

Viv's head jerked up. "What?"

"I'm not sorry, Viviano," Matteo said, stepping forward now, his face dark with frustration. "You needed this. You know you did. This was inevitable."

"Don't," Viv warned, voice low.

"No," Matteo pressed, relentless now. "This needs to be said.

You were miserable. You barely lasted four months at college and every time you came back home, you'd sit in your room in the dark and do nothing for days.

You didn't eat, you didn't talk, you didn't smile.

Hell, all you really did was stay cooped up in bed and ignore us all. "

"That's not true," Viv muttered, voice sharp with defense, but even he could hear how hollow it sounded.

"Isn't it?" Matteo demanded, voice full of disbelief. "How many times did I ask you to hang out with me, Viviano? How many times did I try and get you out of the house?"

"That's not—" Viv started again, but his voice faltered.

"Don't lie to me," Matteo cut in. His eyes were blazing now.

"And please, for the love of God, don't lie to yourself.

You were..." He stopped, took a breath, visibly trying to steady his voice.

"You were deteriorating, Viviano. Right in front of us.

There was only so much I could do. And Mama didn't—"

"Don't talk about her," Viv hissed, his voice slicing through the air like a blade.

Matteo hesitated. "Look, I know you and Ma have never seen eye to eye but—"

"Oh, that's putting it lightly," Viv said, laughing bitterly. He finally looked Matteo in the eye, and the hurt there was raw, untamed.

"But I know she cares about you," Matteo finished.

Viv sneered. "Liar."

Matteo's face tightened, like the word had physically hit him. "Come on, fratello (brother). You're in here to get better. I promise you, it's for your own good."

Viv let out a slow, shaky breath and flopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling like it could somehow suck him in and spit him out somewhere else. "Let's see if I even make it a week."

There was a long, dead pause.

Then, Matteo's voice came quieter, heavier. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Viv didn't answer. He didn't even blink. He just kept staring at the ceiling like Matteo wasn't even in the room anymore. His hands were folded over his stomach now, thumbs tapping against each other slowly, rhythmically. He felt empty.

"Viv?" Matteo's voice was gentler again. There was that hesitation he had heard before. The careful kind, like he was afraid of what he might hear. "Are you... having those thoughts again?"

Viv's jaw clenched.

Matteo shifted closer, sitting on the edge of the bed near Viv's feet, the mattress dipping beneath his weight.

"Hey. I need you to be real with me right now, okay?

You don't have to say it perfectly, you don't have to explain it all, but I need to know.

" His voice cracked a little. "Are you thinking about not wanting to live again? "

Still nothing.

Viv's eyes burned, but he didn't let it show. His face stayed blank. Cold. Like the question had bounced right off him. But inside, something tightened. Coiled.

Matteo ran a hand through his curly brown hair and let out a long, unsteady, shaky breath. "Please don't shut down on me. You scare the hell out of me when you go quiet like this."

Viv closed his eyes, not because he wanted to sleep, but because he didn't want to see anymore. Not his brother. Not this room. Not any of it. "I'm tired," he mumbled.

"Viv..."

"I said I'm tired," Viv snapped, sharper this time. His eyes stayed closed. "Just go."

Matteo didn't move. Viv could feel his presence like a weight at the foot of the bed. But after a while, he heard his brother sigh deeply, then he heard the quiet shuffle of footsteps restreating. Viv let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

The door creaked open just as Matteo was stepping out, and Ash stood there in the doorway, blinking in surprise, his familiar green eyes settling onto Viv.

He had one hand still on the door handle and the other tugging awkwardly at the sleeve of his oversized hoodie.

Right behind him was the tall guy Viv had seen earlier—the one who'd hugged Ash in the rec room.

Up close, he looked even taller, with long legs and an easy confidence that made him seem older than Ash, but not by much.

"Oh—I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were in here," Ash said, blinking rapidly. His voice was gentle, just like always, like the idea of interrupting someone genuinely made him uncomfortable.

Viv huffed. "It's okay."

"We can come back later," Ash offered, already shifting backwards like he was ready to disappear.

"Don't bother," Viv mumbled. "He was just leaving."

"What?" Ash asked.

"He was just leaving. Let him pass," Viv instructed.

"Yeah, I was just leaving," Matteo said quickly with a faint sigh.

Ash stepped aside automatically, his guest mirroring him. "Uh... okay," Ash replied, already glancing back at his friend like he wasn't quite sure if it was okay to be here right now.

Matteo eventually left the room with a quick glance back at his brother and then there was a pause again, the kind that stretched for a few beats too long. Viv was still on the bed, and Ash and his visitor were still hovering by the doorway.

"Uh..." Ash scratched at the back of his neck and turned to his friend. They shared a look. Ash turned back to Viv even though his roomate wasn't looking at him. "I was gonna come hang out in here for a while, but we can go somewhere else..."

Viv didn't say anything, just curled into himself a little tighter, dragging the blanket up over his shoulder until it nearly covered his ear. His eyes were fixed on a spot on the wall.

He heard the shift of Ash's feet on the flooring. The way the visitor leaned in close and whispered something too soft to catch. Then the low creak of the door opening wider. A breath. A pause.

Viv still didn't turn around.

A second later, he heard it—the quiet click of the door closing behind them. They were gone.

He exhaled slowly through his nose and sank deeper into the mattress, letting the silence return like a thick, familiar fog. The wall didn't ask questions. The wall didn't make him talk.

Good.

That evening, Viv barely registered the knock on the door before the male nurse barged in like he always did, all no-nonsense and impatience. Viv still didn't know his name. Didn't care to.

"Let's go. Dinner," the nurse said flatly, already turning to leave like he expected no argument.

And for once, Viv didn't give him one. He peeled himself out of bed, every limb heavy like he was moving through syrup, and trudged after the nurse and Ash like some blank-eyed zombie.

His brain still felt half-asleep anyway.

He wasn't even sure why he was going. He didn't want food.

Didn't want people. He just didn't have the energy to push back.

The cafeteria was buzzing with the usual noise, trays clattering and voices overlapping in tired little conversations.

Viv followed Ash to one of the long tables near the back and dropped into a seat with a thud.

He barely glanced at the tray that was placed in front of him by nurse Carla before letting his head drop forward, cheek pressed to the cool plastic surface.

His body ached with exhaustion, but it wasn't the physical kind. It was deeper—like his bones were tired of existing. He closed his eyes, tuning out everything, everyone. All he wanted was to go back to bed. Not talk. Not eat. Just nothing.

"Hey, look who's alive," a new voice said suddenly, sharp and playful.

Viv opened one eye, just barely. Across from them, a girl had pulled out a chair and was plopping herself down like she belonged there.

She had curly hair tied up in a messy bun and wore a hoodie that looked like it used to belong to someone twice her size.

Her eyes were focused on Ash, lit up with a kind of familiarity Viv hadn't seen from him before.

Ash nodded in her direction. "You're late," he said softly, almost teasing.

"What are they gonna do? Throw me into a psych ward?" the girl grinned, nudging his tray.

Viv closed his eyes again. Great. Another person. Just what he fucking needed.

"Who's this?" the girl asked, tilting her head toward Viv like she hadn't just heard him slam his face into the table a few minutes ago. Her voice was bright. Too bright for the room, like it hadn't registered that not everyone here was operating above survival mode.

Ash didn't look at Viv, just poked at the sad excuse for pasta on his tray. "This is Viv. My roommate."

She turned her attention to him, her eyes flicking up and down with quick curiosity. "Viv? Like, Vivian? Isn't that a girls name?"

Viv clenched his jaw but kept his head down and eyes shut.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Viv!" she chirped.

No response.

"He's tired," Ash added, flatly. Not as an excuse—more like a warning.

"Oh. Well... okay." She blinked, visibly adjusting her tone as she leaned back in her chair, picking at a loose thread on her sleeve.

"Anyway, how was visitation?" Ash asked.

The girl gave a slight shrug. "Same old, same old. My dad snuck in some takeaway."

Ash huffed, envious. "Lucky for some. All I get is this." he gestured to the tray in front of him, wrinkling his nose at the wilted vegetables like they'd personally offended him.

"What about handsome Brad?" she asked, raising a brow and smirking. "He can't bring you anything?"

Ash rolled his eyes, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "He's too nice and law-abiding for that."

"That's a shame. I'm sure I could do some very illegal things with him," she said, grinning wolfishly.

Ash blinked, but didn't look surprised. "Down, girl."

"Do you blame me? He's like a Greek god. The things I would do just to sit on his face for five minutes."

"Jesus, Ava," Ash groaned, half-laughing. "I'm trying to eat here."

"Oops," she said, unapologetically, sipping from her carton of juice like she hadn't just said something disgusting.

"Can you both shut up?" Viv suddenly snapped, voice sharp and slicing through the conversation like a blade.

His head was still pressed to the table, but his tone was clear: done.

The kind of done that came with too little sleep and too many people acting like this was all just summer camp with bad food.

Ash flinched, just barely. It was a subtle jerk of his shoulder like he'd been smacked instead of snapped at, but Viv didn't notice. His face stayed buried in the crook of his arm, completely still aside from the slow rise and fall of his breathing.

Ava's expression shifted. The mischief drained from her face in pieces until what was left was mostly guilt.

She sucked in a breath like she was about to say something, then stopped herself.

Instead, she stood up and forced a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Alright. I'll go annoy someone else," she said softly, more to Ash than Viv.

She gave him a quick pat on the shoulder as she passed. "See you later, blondie."

Ash gave her a small nod but didn't look up.

The moment she was gone, silence settled again, heavy and uncomfortable.

He kept eating slowly and methodically, like it was just a thing to do, not something he actually wanted to be doing.

Viv didn't lift his head once. He didn't apologise either. He just let the silence stretch.

Eventually, Nurse Carla's voice echoed across the cafeteria, bright and casual. "Alright everyone, trays up please! You've got a couple of hours of free time before lights out. Movie night starts in fifteen minutes in the rec room. Come grab a seat if you want to join."

Viv finally lifted his head, groggy and grimacing like someone had just suggested dental surgery.

Ash met his eyes briefly, then looked away. "It's gonna be something terrible," he muttered.

"Like what? 'Finding Nemo'?" Viv grumbled.

"Worse. Like, one of those long, sad black-and-white movies where no one talks and the music's just violins screeching," Ash replied.

"Oh?"

"Trust me," Ash muttered, "don't bother."

"Wasn't gonna," Viv mumbled back. "I'd rather sleep."

Ash eyed him wordlessly.

Neither of them moved. Neither of them looked especially thrilled at the thought of spending the next two hours watching some outdated 'uplifting' mental health drama picked out by the staff.

They both lingered for a minute too long after Carla's announcement, trays already cleared, the rest of the cafeteria buzzing with low conversation and chairs scraping the floor. Viv pushed back from the table, rubbing his tired eyes with the heel of his hand.

Then, without discussing it, they both just kind of stood, awkwardly and hesitantly, and drifted in the same direction, toward the hallway instead of the rec room like everyone else. No one stopped them. No one cared.

It felt weird.

Viv shoved his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, dragging his feet a little slower than usual.

Ash walked beside him but kept a few steps of space like maybe if there was enough distance, it wouldn't look like they were leaving together.

It was dumb, really. They were roommates.

It made sense. And yet, there was this strange weight between them, like they were silently admitting they didn't have the energy for other people but weren't sure what to do with each other either.

Viv caught Ash glancing sideways at him once but didn't bother meeting his eyes. It wasn't friendship. Not even close.

They reached their room in silence, and Viv kicked the door shut behind him with the back of his heel. Ash went straight for his bed. Viv threw himself face-first onto his own without saying a word. No movie. No socialising. Just the quiet, and two boys pretending it was just about being tired.