Chapter 13 Nightmares
Viv woke to the sound of something sharp slicing through the silence that night.
It took him a few seconds to remember where he was.
The room was dark, but not completely—just enough of the hallway light slipped in through the crack beneath the door to let his eyes adjust. The familiar shapes of furniture slowly returned to him: the sink in the corner, the outline of his hoodie hung up on the door, and the soft breathing hum of the radiator.
And then he heard it again. A low sound. A whimper, maybe. Breathy and panicked.
His heart kicked up. He sat up, squinting across the room towards Ash's bed.
Viv's brows furrowed as he leaned forward slightly, his blanket slipping down his clothed chest. The shape under the blanket on the opposite bed was shifting, jerking now and then like someone caught in a fight they couldn't win. Another sound followed—a strangled, muffled cry.
Viv's chest tightened. "Ash?" he whispered.
No response.
He tried again, louder this time. "Ash. Wake up."
Nothing.
The blankets on Ash's bed twisted more violently. A pained sound escaped them—like a choked sob—and that's when Viv shoved his own covers aside and stood up.
He padded across the cold floor, heartbeat thudding in his ears. He'd never seen Ash like this. They were always composed, in control, even when they were annoyed. But now they looked small. Trapped.
"Ash," Viv said again, this time right beside the bed. Still nothing. They were caught in whatever it was. Some memory, some nightmare. Their face was contorted, brows pinched together, lips parted like they were silently crying out for help.
Viv hesitated for just a second longer, then reached out and gently touched their shoulder.
Ash bolted upright like a gun had gone off, their breath ragged and eyes wide. In one frantic movement, they scrambled backwards until their back hit the corner where the bed met the wall. Their chest rose and fell rapidly, their eyes locked on Viv like he was some kind of threat.
Viv froze.
"Hey, hey. Calm down. It's me," he said quickly, holding up both hands like he was trying to calm a wild animal. "It's me. It's Viv."
Ash didn't respond at first. Their eyes darted around the room, breath still catching in their throat, their body curled tight like they were ready to bolt.
"You were having a nightmare," Viv added, his voice low, careful. "I was just trying to wake you up."
Ash didn't say anything. Their eyes slowly adjusted, and recognition finally bloomed across their face. But they didn't relax. Not fully. They just stayed there in the corner of the bed, half-shadowed and still trembling, staring at him like they weren't entirely back yet.
Viv's stomach twisted with something heavy and unsure. "I'm not gonna hurt you," he said quietly, voice softer than he even realised he could make it.
Ash blinked at him.
The room felt colder somehow.
Viv lingered there for a second, awkward in the dark. His hands still hovered midair, like the wrong move might shatter whatever fragile thing had cracked open between them. Ash hadn't spoken, hadn't nodded, hadn't moved. So Viv kept his voice low as he asked, "Can I sit?"
Still no answer. No yes. No no.
Just silence.
Viv swallowed and hesitantly lowered himself onto the edge of the bed, careful to stay perched near Ash's feet, giving them space.
He didn't even let himself breathe too loud.
Ash immediately shifted, pressing themselves further into the corner where the wall met the mattress, like they were trying to disappear into it.
Their knees drew up slightly, arms wrapping around them.
Viv glanced sideways, then stared down at his own hands, guilt curling in his stomach. Shit. Maybe this was a bad idea. I shouldn't have sat down. I'm not helping at all, I'm just making it worse.
He started to rise. His weight shifted forward, hands pushing down on the mattress to lift himself back up. "Sorry," he murmured. "I'll give you space."
But then—
A hand shot out.
Viv froze.
Ash's fingers wrapped tight around his wrist, not hard enough to hurt, but firm. Wordless. Final.
Viv didn't move. He looked down slowly, blinking at the pale hand holding onto him. Ash wasn't looking at him. Their head was tilted slightly down, curls falling into their face, but their grip didn't loosen. It said stay.
And so, without saying anything else, Viv did.
The silence stretched between them, heavy and delicate all at once.
The kind of silence that didn't feel like nothing, but also felt like way too much.
Viv kept his eyes fixed on the far wall, not daring to look at Ash, afraid that eye contact might shatter the fragile trust that was hanging in the air.
Ash's hand was still on his wrist.
Not gripping anymore. Just resting.
But then, slowly and gently, Viv felt something.
A soft drag of a fingertip across his skin.
At first, he thought he was imagining it.
A ghost sensation. But no, there it was again, light circles being traced into the underside of his wrist with a careful finger.
Slow. Thoughtful. Like Ash wasn't even aware they were doing it.
Viv's breath hitched just slightly. He didn't say anything. Instead, wordlessly, he turned his wrist so his palm was facing up and, without looking, slid it a little closer to Ash. A quiet offering. More skin. More space. He didn't know why he did it, only that he didn't want the touch to stop.
Ash's fingers stilled for a second, like they were surprised by the invitation. Then they resumed, this time tracing lazy patterns from the inside of Viv's wrist to the base of his palm. Curved lines. Maybe letters. Maybe shapes. Maybe nothing at all.
Viv watched the darkness in front of him, but all he could feel was that small, quiet contact. And for some reason, his chest ached a little.
"You wanna talk about it?" Viv murmured.
Ash shook his head wordlessly, still pressed up against the wall, his eyes unfocused and distant, like part of him was still stuck in the dream.
Viv glanced down. "You wanna lay down?" he asked, softer this time.
There was a pause. Ash's lips pressed into a thin line as if considering it, then he gave a small nod.
Viv nodded back, almost in sync, and took a step back to give him space. He motioned toward the blankets, and Ash slowly crawled back beneath them, the covers rustling around his narrow frame as he settled into the mattress like a curled-up shadow.
Once Ash was tucked in, Viv turned and began walking toward his own bed, trying not to overthink everything. He was halfway there when he heard a small voice behind him.
"You're going?" Ash asked, his voice quiet, almost childlike.
Viv stopped and looked over his shoulder, blinking in surprise. "Uh... I just assumed you'd wanna—"
"Stay," Ash said, the word falling from his mouth with an urgency that caught Viv off guard. "Please."
Viv stared at him, caught off balance by the sudden request. "I mean... are you sure?" he asked slowly, cautious.
Ash nodded again, this time more firmly, though there was a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes.
Viv hesitated. "Wouldn't you be more comfortable on your own?"
Ash's face fell just a little, like he was preparing to be abandoned. "Y-You don't have to if—"
"No, I want to," Viv cut in quickly, taking a step forward again. "I just... I..."
Ash tilted his head. "What?"
"I don't wanna freak you out or whatever."
"I'm fine now," Ash said, shifting slightly to make space beside him. His voice was steadier this time, more sure of himself. He patted the empty side of the bed. "Come on."
Viv didn't move right away, but something in Ash's eyes made him soften. Wordlessly, he crossed the room and sat carefully on the edge of the bed. The mattress dipped slightly beneath his weight. He still wasn't sure what he was doing, only that something inside him told him not to walk away.
The last time they'd fallen asleep together in Viv's bed, it hadn't been planned.
It hadn't even really been a choice. Viv had been crying, or more like falling apart, and Ash had just..
. stayed. No questions asked. He'd simply climbed in beside him like it was the most natural thing in the world, and Viv had been too exhausted to care or even register how strange it was until the next morning.
But this was different.
This wasn't Viv breaking. This wasn't comfort given in silence and instinct. This was Ash, awake, lucid, and asking. Stay, he had said, out loud, clear as anything. It was an invitation. A verbal one. And it threw Viv off completely.
He didn't know what it meant.
It shouldn't mean anything, right? People could ask that. Friends could sleep near each other. Friends could ask for closeness when they were scared. And yet... Viv's chest felt tight in a different kind of way now.
Viv stiffly lay down on Ash's bed, trying to stay to the side as much as possible, but it was a single bed and there was only so much room he could give.
"Do you get nightmares a lot?" Viv asked quietly, his voice barely audible over the soft hum of the overhead vent.
Ash didn't answer at first. He just kept staring ahead, eyes unfocused and glassy in the dim bedside light. Then, after a long pause, he gave a small nod, almost embarrassed by it. "Sometimes."
Viv hesitated. "About... about your dad?"
Ash flinched slightly, like the word dad itself had teeth. His shoulders rose in a stiff shrug, but then he nodded again, slower this time. He shifted, moving a little closer, his thin frame brushing against Viv's side like he was seeking something solid.
"It's okay," Viv murmured, eyes trained ahead, afraid to look at him. "It's not real anymore."
"It feels real," Ash whispered, his voice cracking just enough to make Viv's throat tighten.
"I know," Viv said softly. "But you're not there anymore. You're here. With me."
Ash didn't say anything back, just gave a small, wordless nod, his body still taut with lingering fear.
"You should try and sleep," Viv offered after a pause, voice gentle.
"I can't sleep."
Viv let out a breath, rubbing a hand over his face. "Try."
"No."
Viv turned his head to look at him, his expression tired but fond in an exasperated kind of way. "Don't be stubborn."
"I don't wanna sleep," Ash said firmly, but there was a childlike edge to it, like sleep itself was something that might hurt him.
Viv sighed, sinking back a little into the pillow. "Fine. What shall we do instead?"
Ash's head tilted slightly. "Talk."
"I'm too tired for talking."
"But—"
"Fine," Viv interrupted, rolling his eyes as he gave in. "Let's talk."
Ash smiled softly, the faintest curve of his lips in the low light. It was the first real glimpse of peace Viv had seen on him all night.
Viv leaned his head back against the wall, eyes slipping half-closed. Then, with a dry tone, he asked the first thing that came to mind: "Why is Ava obsessed with you?"
Ash blinked, surprised, then let out a small breath of laughter. "What?"
"I'm serious," Viv said, cracking a lazy smirk. "She looks at you like she's already picked out your wedding colours."
Ash groaned, pulling the blanket up over half his face to hide the grin spreading there. Viv just watched him, his smirk fading into something softer. And quieter. Because for a few minutes, the room didn't feel so heavy anymore.
"I don't know," Ash said. "I think she's just bored and I'm new."
"New? You've been here longer than me."
"Yeah, but she decided I was interesting, which was clearly a mistake. But... She's sweet. Kinda. Just intense."
"Intense is definitely one word for her," Viv muttered.
"You sound jealous," Ash muttered, voice low and teasing as he shifted slightly under the covers.
Viv scoffed, jerking his head back in offended disbelief. "Why the hell would I be jealous? I have nothing to be jealous about."
Ash turned his head, the faint glow from the moonlight catching his face just enough for Viv to see the glint in his eyes—those damn green eyes shimmering with mischief in the dark.
"You sure?" Ash asked, the corner of his mouth tugging upward.
"Why would I be jealous of Ava?" Viv asked grumpily.
"Ava?" Ash asked in surprise. "I... I meant me. Because, you know, I have her attention. And I thought that you'd want her attention. You know, because you're..."
Viv swallowed thickly. Ah, fuck."I'm not jealous of anyone."
"Right..." Ash trailed off, eyes flickering across Viv's face, almost like he was analysing him or something.
"You're on thin ice," Viv warned, narrowing his eyes.
"Oh, am I?" Ash replied innocently, the grin widening as he leaned a little closer like he was waiting to be dared.
"You're being annoying," Viv muttered, pulling the blanket up higher over his chest, but his tone lacked real venom.
Ash's smile faltered.
There was a short silence, and when Viv glanced back, Ash had looked away slightly, arms curling in around himself.
"I was kidding," Viv said, softer now.
"No, but... I am annoying, aren't I?"
Viv sat up straighter, guilt knotting sharply in his chest. "No," he said quickly, firmly. "You're not."
Ash still wouldn't meet his eyes. "I bet you hate being my roommate."
"Are you kidding?" Viv said, almost laughing at the absurdity. "You're better than 80% of people in here."
Ash blinked, surprised. "What about the other 20%?"
"They're okay," Viv said with a shrug. "But they're not you."
Ash looked at him again then, something softer passing over his face, something unreadable but real. "What's so great about me?" he asked, not teasing this time, just quietly wondering.
Viv raised an eyebrow. "Are you fishing for compliments now?"
"No," Ash said quickly, but his voice wavered. "But I..."
He trailed off.
Viv let out a breath, softer this time, and turned so they were facing each other properly. "Ash, you're cool. Honestly, at first? The idea of having a roommate made me wanna bash my head against the wall."
That made Ash huff a tiny laugh, and Viv smiled.
"But now?" Viv added. "I don't mind it. It's kinda fun."
Ash didn't say anything, but the tension in his shoulders eased just a little. And even though neither of them said it, they both knew it meant something more than just sleeping in the same room.
"You okay now?" Viv asked, barely above a whisper.
Ash nodded slowly. "I think so."
Viv didn't say anything back. Just let the silence fill the room again, not heavy this time but settled.
Steady. Ash shifted slightly and leaned more of his weight into Viv's side, and Viv didn't move away.
He wasn't used to this. Letting people in.
Letting himself be close. But something about this, about Ash, made him allow it