CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I cross my right leg over my body, resting on a large pillow. I think the instructor called this a bolster. My back is pressed firmly into the ground, my arms stretched, head turned to the right. I’m facing Lucy’s back. I think my eyes are supposed to be closed, but my mind is wide awake, and therefore, so are my eyes.
Beside Lucy is Briar. Beside Briar is Aiden.
Aiden, Briar’s new love interest, has his hair tight in a bun on top of his head. He’s wearing these cool boho baggy pants, and I want some.
I’m looking around the room. There are only about ten people. A restorative class. Briar says this will relax me mentally and physically from my recent sporadic energy coming from online dating. My body feels pretty good at the moment. My mind is another story.
I dreamed of Ben last night. Ben in the kitchen, as naked as Ty was.
I woke up with a curious feeling in the pit of my stomach. My subconscious mind took my almost date with Ty and turned it into a full-on sweat fest with Ben.
I walked into the kitchen as I had with Ty, and in his place, Ben stood with the famous red apron, wearing nothing underneath.
I’m not sure what my subconscious is trying to do to me, but I’m only human.
I noticed his strong, tanned legs as he approached me.
He took me and placed me gently on the kitchen island, and then all this pre-sex stuff happened.
I shiver at the thought.
I remember the dream in little slivers of memories. Like clips or a trailer for a movie.
I can still see us kissing. His hands, touching me, running over every inch of me.
Roasted baby potatoes rolling across the counter, some landing on the floor as he lays me down.
I snap back to reality when I see Lucy change positions. Zoning out, I didn’t hear the instructions. Following her lead, I turn onto my stomach, bringing my left leg up beside my body. I turn my head to face the opposite direction.
I breathe in; I breathe out.
I close my eyes, thinking back on the past few dates. Thinking of last night’s dream. Thinking of Ben. The butterflies haven’t stopped. Ben came into the bookstore yesterday, and he helped me carry some boxes that had been dropped off. When he took the box from me, I felt his hand touch mine briefly. Our eyes met, and I felt it. The spark. I think he feels it too. He glanced away, the spark fizzling.
We both know nothing can happen between us. I’m dating other people.
I have a meeting with Miriam next week, and she wants me to date a bit more before we meet.
I hear movement and open my eyes. Everyone is shifting legs, and I follow along.
I close my eyes again and let my mind settle. I add last night’s dream to the closed box in the back of my mind, and I try an affirmation to stop the racing going on inside my head.
This moment is for me and me alone. I welcome peace and tranquility.
It must have worked because the next thing I know, class is done and Lucy is shaking me. Oops. I think I fell asleep.
I pack up my mat and let my hair fall loose from my small ponytail.
Briar informs us she’s going out for coffee with Aiden and that she’ll talk to us later. Lucy and I walk out of the building into the fresh air. The sun is shining. We decide to go to breakfast at the diner down the street. I notice store owners setting up shop as we pass. An older couple is sitting on a bench in front of the bank. Lucy’s talking about work and her new client. I bring my attention back to her as we make our way into the small restaurant and choose a booth by the window so we can people-watch.
We order our breakfast and get comfortable.
“I need some new clothes.” Lucy starts as she pulls off her sweater.
“Let’s go shopping after this,” I suggest.
“Can’t today, but maybe this weekend?”
“Yeah, sure.”
She looks at me with intent. “Any more dates this week?”
“Nothing yet,” I admit.
“Take out your phone. Let’s look at some of your options.”
I do as she says and take my phone out, opening the App. There are a few new matches and a couple of messages I have yet to read. I open the first one. Meh, not feeling it, I tell Lucy that exact thought.
“What kind of guys are you swiping on?” she asks, taking my phone from me.
“I don’t know, cute ones.” I lift my shoulders, feeling slightly embarrassed. “I read their catch line and swipe based on that and their looks combined,” I say, trying to make myself sound better. “The feeling I get from looking at their picture. But obviously, I can’t seem to read people right.” I think back to the matches I’ve made so far.
“Okay, so you have to open their profile and actually read it, Sof.” She’s tapping on a profile. “This will help you rule out some, and you might find that you’re interested in someone you might not normally have swiped on.”
“Okay.”
She’s right. Maybe I have been a little shallow. I’m certainly reaping the rewards of shallow pics.
“Check this guy out.” Lucy indicates a profile. “He loves trivia nights, road trips, reading, and hiking. He is looking to meet someone who enjoys similar things. You love trivia nights. I’m swiping on him.”
I peer over her shoulder and see that he isn’t someone I would normally swipe right on. He’s got limp, untamed hair and a gentle smile. He looks kind, but his hair would have been enough to turn me away.
Our breakfast arrives shortly after having read a few more profiles. I’ve matched with a few others, and I promise Lucy I will send them messages when I get home. All of them being guys that I probably wouldn’t have swiped without her help.
She tells me I have walls up and that maybe I have been keeping myself closed off to potential matches because I’m not ready to meet the right guy. She could be right. I am picky, but isn’t that just having standards and knowing what I want?
We spend the next hour finishing our breakfast, talking, and people-watching as the shops on the street open and the sidewalk crowds. I purposely veer away from any talk about Ben, and I keep last night’s dream shenanigans to myself.
The waitress brings us our bills, and Lucy grabs mine to pay. I learned a long time ago not to fight this with her, to thank her, and to remind myself to grab the bills first next time.
“Thank you.” I smile. She side-hugs me in the booth.
“You’re welcome.”
* * *
Swipe left. Swipe left. Swipe left. Swipe right. Swipe left.
I think I’m giving myself carpel tunnel. Rotating my wrist, I stretch out the length of my fingers. I’ve matched with several guys and have a few messages to respond to.
I learned that one of them hates the beach…deal-breaker.
One is a heavy gamer and doesn’t work…deal-breaker.
I caught one in a lie…deal-breaker. He started by saying he is pretty quiet, reads, and enjoys breakfasts and game nights with friends. He sounded very similar to me.
Almost too similar to me.
I asked a few questions about his friends and work, and his answers contradicted what his profile said. No one has time for that.
I start talking to Callum, an athlete and a personal trainer. He appears confident in his messages but not cocky. He tells me he has season tickets to the local football games and asks if I have ever been to one. I told him no, but that going to one was actually on my bucket list and that I would love to go. Callum tells me there is a game on Saturday night and that he would love to take me to dinner and then to the game. I can’t wait to see the cheerleaders, if I’m being honest. To see the girls throw themselves into the air would be pretty cool.
We spent the next few days chatting. I’m working every day until Saturday, but I find myself daydreaming and gradually getting excited to meet him. I learn that Callum is an only child, like me, and that he loves animals and also has a cat. We bond over our feline’s quirks.
Booklover (Sofia): I don’t really play sports, except for badminton. I’m sort of afraid of the ball…
Trainer1997 (Callum): I need to hear more about this lol
Booklover (Sofia): There was an incident back in fifth grade during a very aggressive game of dodgeball lol
Trainer1997 (Callum): Oh, no! Lmao. Kids either love the game or hate. Depending if you’re the easy target or the cocky jock.
Booklover (Sofia): I think we both know where we each stood back in 5th grade when it comes to dodgeball Haha
Trainer1997 (Callum): Hey, not cocky! I just had a good arm lol
I was definitely the someone who spent a lot of gym classes running back and forth, trying to avoid being hit by the ball in a state of panic.
I’m probably jumping ahead, but talking to Callum, I get the impression I’d feel safe around him. Like he is a hero from a movie that would wrap me in his muscular arms, tell me everything will be okay, and kiss me gently on the top of my head.
When Saturday comes and I see him standing at the entrance to the restaurant, my eyes run over him, noticing his broad shoulders, tall stance, and clean-shaven face. Maybe Lucy was right. Maybe getting to know someone’s personality immediately makes them more attractive. He is incredibly attractive, but I wouldn’t have swiped right based on his appearance alone. I tend to go towards the dark-haired, stubbly type.
As I approach him, I feel my smile growing. He notices me and hurries forward, embracing me in a big hug and lifting me right off the ground. My legs wrap around his waist. We hug as if we are already romantically involved.
Did I just have one of those moments only seen on The Bachelor ? Where the woman runs into their arms, and they greet each other with full-on body contact? Huh, I didn’t expect myself to be one of those. I think I like it.
He sets me down, and his voice is deeper than I imagined when he tells me how excited he is to meet me. He takes my hand in his, and I feel tiny next to him. Callum leads the way into the restaurant, and the hostess shows us to a table. Opening our menus, we glance over them but spend our time talking, continuing conversations that we started by chat.
When our waitress stops by for the third time, we decide we should order our food so we aren’t late for the game. Conversation with him is easy. We talk about everything and anything. He listens intently as I speak and acknowledges every word I say, appearing to soak it in. I feel the love goggles sliding onto my face. I’m in lust. Maybe this is love at first sight? I notice his strong jawline, and although he is quite health-oriented, he orders fries and eats every last one of them. He explains to me how he believes in moderation and treating yourself.
We finish our meals, and he requests the bill. Once he has paid for our meals, I decide to run to the washroom before we head to the game since it’s a few blocks away and we’re walking. I’m returning to the table, and I see him on the phone. I stand back to give him some privacy, but I hear him mutter the words I love you into the phone. He hangs up, and I slide back into the booth. A lump has formed in my throat.
He looks surprised.
I raise my eyebrows quizzically.
He knows I heard him and starts explaining how his mom just called, and he thought since I was in the washroom, he wouldn’t be rude by answering. I smile and tell him, of course, and ask if everything is okay. The lump melts, and I can swallow again. He tells me he’s close with his parents and that his mom checks in from time to time when he’s out. I think that’s sweet—to hear him tell his mom that he loves her and that she checks in. I think I’ve got myself a good guy.
It’s gotten cooler with the sun setting, and I pull on the hoodie I brought with me for the game. Callum takes my hand as we walk, and I feel the tender touch of his thumb stroking my hand in his.
I feel them. The butterflies.
We have amazing seats. We sit, and I can see the players warming up on the field without squinting. The cheerleaders are dancing at the center of it all. I’m in awe and feel a different type of excitement in my chest, one that I haven’t felt in a while.
Callum explains a bit more of the rules to me, and the players return to their locker room to get ready for the game.
The cheerleaders take their spots and start a fresh routine. I’m watching with pure delight. Callum’s hand slips from mine, and I watch from the corner of my eye. He’s pulled out his phone from his pocket, glancing at the screen. I see ‘mom’ light up. He silences it and returns it to his pocket, grabbing my hand again.
That’s weird, isn’t it, his mom calling again? It hasn’t even been an hour since we left the restaurant.
I push the thought aside since Callum doesn’t seem to be bothered by it, and we enjoy the game.
When intermission starts, Callum stands. “Let’s get some drinks.” I watch as he stretches his long legs, and I’m suddenly reminded of Ben’s toned ones from my dream. I internally sigh and tell myself to stop. I shake my head and bring my attention back to Callum, willing myself to enjoy this date with Callum. He’s a great guy.
“Yeah, sure.”
I hear a phone vibrating as we stand in line, and once again, Callum is taking his phone out of his pocket. He apologizes and tells me he’ll just be a moment, stepping out from the line.
I hope that there isn’t some sort of family emergency.
He returns just as I’m reaching the counter, and he orders and pays for both our drinks. I thank him, and we return to our seats.
“My mom’s a bit overprotective,” he admits as we sit.
Three times in less than two hours. Three calls. That can’t be normal.
I let it go as the game starts up again. This has got to be one of the best dates I’ve had.
Callum is gentle and attentive, and I am excited that maybe there will be a second date. Our hands link together effortlessly, and I lean into him.
When the game is over, he invites me to share an Uber since we live somewhat in the same direction. I say yes, smiling. I’m suddenly aware of how soft-looking his lips are. How they curve up when he looks at me. His piercing blue eyes, sun-kissed hair, and his deep voice that stirs things deep within me.
The Uber arrives, and he asks me if I want to go to his place for a drink. I know what this means, and I nod yes, the butterflies stirring inside me. Turns out, I’ll Netflix and Chill if it’s the right guy.
We hold hands the length of the car ride. “I had such a good time,” he says.
“Me too,” I respond as the car pulls into a driveway.
I’m shocked by the size of the house.
It’s a two-story with a brick fa?ade. The front yard is large and full of beautiful trees and flower beds with freshly planted flowers. I see a stone path leading around the house and an in-ground pool lit by fairy lights on the fence enclosing it. I imagine there’s a hot tub nearby, and I see a pool house at the back of the property.
I had no idea a personal trainer in his early twenties could afford such a house.
“Your place is amazing,” I say.
“Want a tour of the pool?” he asks.
I notice how much I like him leading me. Like he is a man who would take care of his woman.
The pool is even more amazing up close, and I see the hot tub further back near the pool house. “The pool is heated, so we opened it quite early in the year.”
He sits on one of the lounge chairs and pulls me down onto him, the tour ending before it really began. Our lips are nearly touching when I turn to face him, and he releases his tight arms from around me. We stop and have this moment. I can feel heat building just through our eye contact. A shiver runs down my spine.
I can feel him underneath me, and that creates this want inside of me. Before I can react and kiss him, his lips are on mine with a heat and passion I can’t explain. We kiss hard, his hands sliding up and down the sides of my body.
I hear his phone vibrate. We ignore it and continue kissing as if we’re long-lost lovers and it’s been years since our lips met. I turn my body, lifting my leg over him until I’m straddling him. He picks me up, and my legs wrap around his waist.
We’re walking, and I’m not sure where he’s taking me, but I feel safe in his arms. I trust him. Our lips part as he walks up to the pool house, and he opens the door. I’m in his arms, and he’s still carrying me as if I am nothing more than a feather. I feel glorious. He sets me down on a bed in the middle of the room and asks me if this is okay. I nod, unable to speak. I look around the room. It seems to be like a small bachelor apartment, everything all in one room. He takes off his shoes, looking at me.
“Do you want to go in the hot tub?” he asks.