Chapter 27
Idid not know how much time had passed as I stared at the wall with a barely beating heart. Shadows drifted along the furniture as the sun rose, wrapping them in the sweet embrace of darkness. But the light held no joy, and I let myself, too, be consumed.
I could not think, could not feel, for if I did, the truth would ruin me, just as Calia had.
Admitting so came at a great price, and her admission had been just as costly. But like the stupid fool I was, I had been willing to silence the voice at the back of my mind for a moment with her.
I was starved for her touch, her words, her gentle adoration. If only I could remind her of our love, it would be enough to bring her back to me. She was my obsession, staving off a bloody and brutal past to give me a chance at a future that would be my redemption.
But when the door opened and I held my breath, finding Jasper walking toward me with a look of pity, I knew she would not be returning.
“Rion—”
I shook my head, every ounce of fight draining out of me. Her taste still lingered on my tongue, a poignant reminder of what I had lost. “If you have come to give your condolences, I do not wish to hear them.”
He nodded, taking a seat beside me. For a moment, neither of us spoke. What could be said that either of us did not already know?
In an odd twist of fate, the man who had been taught not to crave had found his muse. Only for her to be ripped away in the cruelest fashion. Her presence taunted me, a clever trick I would fall for every time. I wondered if Calia knew how much she affected me or if her mind created a different version of me to suit her newfound opinions.
“I know you said you didn’t want to talk?—”
“I said I did not want your condolences. There is a difference.”
He snorted, running a hand through his hair. “Is there in a situation like this? Because I see two people denying themselves happiness because they’re scared of the consequences. And that, my brother, is a damn shame, seeing as we may all be dead by the end of the week.”
Though the sun had risen, the sky was tinged a deep red hue. The blood moon would peak in seven days before disappearing for another century. We were no closer to finding my mother than before, distracted by adding new members to our little coterie.
It was worth it—I tried telling myself—the wasted time was worth knowing Calia still breathed, even if her heart no longer beat for me.
“I cannot make someone love me, Jasper.” My voice was hoarse, words barely above a whisper. “And Calia is as obstinate as they come. It is but one of the many things I love about her.”
He slid his gaze to me. “You honestly think she doesn’t love you?”
I bit the inside of my mouth until blood coated my tongue. “She told me she could never forgive me, Jasper. She said she would always find a reason to hate me, that what we had done—” I pointed to my bed where her scent still soaked the sheets “—was all it could ever be. And then she walked away without care of the damage she inflicted.”
Jasper said nothing, aware of my limits and that pressing the matter further would worsen them. He pushed off the ground, offering his hand to pull me up.
“Where do we go from here?” he asked, and though I understood his question was twofold, I only knew the answer to one.
“We put an end to my mother.”
“Ballard just phoned,”Jasper said by way of greeting, dropping into the chair before me.
It had been hours since the incident with Calia, and I had immediately busied myself creating a makeshift office toward the back of the library. A small nook had gone unoccupied since I was a boy and offered enough privacy that I would not be disturbed. The open space was large enough for a writing desk and a few chairs, which was all I needed to dig through my family’s records.
I still could not clean up the mess in my previous office, refusing to step back in it since the night Jasper and I said our piece. I was not sure if I ever could. Perhaps I could give Rowena free rein to turn it into something different—a studio to draft her designs.
Something new that would not be tainted by death.
I raised my brows in question, peering over the edge of the book I had been skimming through for the past hour. My family had been meticulous record keepers, hoarding information about every minute detail of their lives. Not half an hour ago, I had read the painstakingly penned argument—in detail—about how they chose the color of the drapes for a guest bedroom.
It was not inconceivable to assume they may have let slip the location of any intentionally loose planks in the floor or perhaps a safe tucked away behind a portrait somewhere.
“What did he have to say?” I asked, going back to my book. I was reminded repeatedly by my own rising panic that we were running out of time, feeling the thick fear coil wrap around my throat and squeeze. It had worsened recently, knowing that we were just shy of a week until the end of the cycle.
“He’s been in contact with Sloane regarding the tracking spell. Whatever she couldn’t grab at the market—seeing as we had an abrupt departure due to someone getting kidnapped”—he growled, narrowing his eyes in what I assume was meant to be a disapproving glance.
In truth, he looked more constipated than anything.
“Are you here to shame me for my choices, brother? Or do you plan on saying what you came here to say?” I interrupted, again scanning the same line about a trio of hairless cats one of my great, great aunts had attempted to leave her fortune to.
He crossed his arms over his chest. “He’s returned to the coven’s headquarters to gather the necessary supplies to lock down Leonora’s location. Sloane says she’s ready, especially with Ballard’s assistance. Even one additional witch can make a difference, especially given Ballard’s position in their community. He also mentioned bringing someone who had been parted from Sloane too long.”
“Who?” I asked warily.
Jasper shrugged. “I don’t know, he didn’t say. He only said he would be glad to get them out of his home.”
I set the book down and rubbed my temple. “We are not running a shelter to house every lost soul,” I said, tapping my fingers along the desk. “But I suppose we can find room for one more.”
Space was not an issue, but there was cause for concern with each new person brought into the fray. It was yet another loose thread we needed to ensure stayed out of Leonora’s web.
“I’ll keep an eye on them if I need to, and you know Sloane wouldn’t welcome anything here that would threaten the task at hand,” he said.
“Is it a significant other?” I asked, realizing I barely knew anything about the woman occupying one of my many guest rooms.
“No,” he said slowly, eyes flashing with a distant memory. “Sloane’s a widower and, to my knowledge, has no kin left, either.”
“She’s alone, then?” The thought of being alone in this world, without a single person to turn to or confide in, was a terrifying prospect. While witches had their covens, a familial unit as strong as any blood, it was not the same as having someone to call your own.
“Not anymore,” he said, looking away. His jaw flexed, and I could not help but question his attachment to Sloane. He was protective of her, and I often caught them leaning into one another as they spoke.
Though he had taken many lovers over the centuries, I had only seen Jasper in a relationship once. After it had ended tragically, he had shown no interest in entertaining another one.
But perhaps that interest had once again been piqued by a certain blonde-haired witch with a penchant for sass.
As though he could feel my gaze, he forced a smile. “None of us are, right? That’s the beauty of this.”
I did not have the heart to tell him I felt more alone than ever since finding out Calia was alive, but I nodded and smiled back all the same. “Of course.”
As though I had conjured her from my thoughts, Calia walked into the library, halting as her gaze landed on Jasper and me.
My friend waved, wincing as I kicked him under the desk. “Ow,” he mumbled, rubbing his shin. “That was uncalled for…”
By the time I looked up, she was gone. The sound of a door clicking shut was the only evidence of her presence.
I closed my eyes, taking three deep breaths to calm my nerves. “You really are an ass,” I snapped, closing my book and standing. “Remind me why I put up with you?”
He grinned, leaning back in his chair. “Because your life would be dull without me?”
I stepped around my desk and made my way to the door, offering him a vulgar gesture as I walked out of the library.