Chapter 18
Nick
I looked at my phone. Gavin should have already been home. I probably wouldn’t have been so worried about it if not for our interaction that morning. The bus he should have been on would have already passed my stop. Maybe he’d missed that bus, though. Maybe he had to wait on another one. Maybe he’d gotten delayed at Jeff’s. I tried to tell myself it could be anything.
I didn’t like it. I tried calling him, but his phone went straight to voicemail. I knew he put it on Do Not Disturb when he was working. Maybe he forgot to turn it off. Maybe he was still working.
I messaged Caden first. He isn’t home yet. He should be home by now. His phone is going straight to voicemail.
Without waiting for a reply, I messaged Jeff. Hey, did Gavin leave on time? He isn’t home yet and he was acting a little strange this morning.
I got two replies almost simultaneously. Caden: Don’t panic, man. The bus could’ve been late. They could’ve gotten delayed on the route. He may have worked later than normal and missed one or a couple.
Jeff: Yeah, he left here at his normal time. What’s going on? Is everything ok? Caden texted me earlier today asking if he was here, then again just now right after you did.
I freaking knew it. Caden was telling me not to panic, but he was panicking. I couldn’t blame him, though. He’d been through it before, after all. He’d been the one in a panic wondering where his lover was and why he wasn’t home yet. Now I was in those shoes.
I texted Caden. What the fuck, man. You told me not to worry then you texted Jeff to see if he left on time.
Caden: I just wanted to make sure. It would be silly to get concerned if he was still at work. But give it a little time to make sure there wasn’t a delay with the bus .
Even though I was telling him to be real with me, I still didn’t want to hear him be real with me . Make sure?? So, what, you’re already assuming something is wrong then?
Jeff: Nick, what’s going on? Caden is still texting me about Gavin. This feels like déjà vu, and I don’t like it. Is Gavin ok?
I took a breath. Ok. They were all panicking now. I glanced outside where I could see the entry to the building from the road, hoping to see Gavin walking up the drive. There was no one there. I grabbed my keys, leaving the pizza ingredients on the counter. It was supposed to be a fun evening making dinner together, a ride on my bike, watching TV, and staying up late since we were both off work the next day. Maybe some normal sex without the crying.
I should have known that morning that none of it would happen. Gavin had obviously known. Had he really taken off on me without a real goodbye? Had the ‘I love you’ been his goodbye? Had he been planning to leave since whatever had happened the previous afternoon?
I texted Jeff back. I don’t know. Gavin has a lot of stuff in his past. He’s been worried about it, and his dad has been looking for him. He isn’t home yet. He was acting weird this morning. I’m not really sure what’s going on.
I took the elevator downstairs, freaking out the entire way. I walked outside and down the road to the bus stop. A bus was coming. He should have been on one or two before it, but if Caden was right and something had delayed his bus…
I waited hopefully as it stopped, watching as people got on and off. None of them were Gavin. I tried calling him again but instantly got the generic voicemail he purposely hadn’t changed. I took a few breaths, trying to calm myself, but it wasn’t working. Before I could flip out completely, I heard a motorcycle engine and turned to look as Jamie pulled up to the sidewalk next to me. Caden hopped off the back of the bike. “Any word?”
Jamie would have had to speed ridiculously to the shelter to get Caden and end up where I was that fast. They were as worried as I was even though they were trying not to show it. I shook my head, fighting tears. “Nothing. His phone is still going straight to voicemail. I was hoping it was just the bus, but he wasn’t on that one either. He’s really late now.”
“Ok,” Caden said, “Let’s think.”
“ Think?” I cried, “Think about what? He’s been saying people were looking for him, and that they’d come for him. His friend has been messaging to let him know that they really were looking, and something happened yesterday that sent him into a panic attack. He talked about not staying here because he was putting us in danger. Did he leave? Is that why he was acting weird this morning? Was he telling me goodbye without saying it? He wanted to make sure I knew he loved me before he left? Or did they find him and take him?” My voice was continuously growing louder, and I’d already attracted the attention of several people at the bus stop.
“Calm down, Nick,” Caden said, pulling me back toward the drive of my building, “Wrong kind of thinking. We need the helpful kind.” Jamie followed us slowly on his bike. He pulled into the drive but waited beside us.
“Is there a chance he wanted some air and walked from somewhere?” Jamie suggested, “Caden said Jeff watched him get on the bus, but maybe he got off somewhere else to clear his head if something was bothering him?”
It seemed silly to think he’d do that, especially if he was worried about being in danger, but Gavin wasn’t always thinking clearly. It wasn’t exactly nature, walking down a city sidewalk, but he did like being outdoors. I had a hard time thinking he’d still have his phone off, but I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess it’s possible.”
I glanced at the parking garage. It seemed like it would take forever to walk back to my bike, but it would take longer to walk and try to trace the path to the marina. Jamie read my mind. “Get on. I’ll take you to your bike and pick up Caden on the way back out.”
I glanced at Caden. I did not like how worried they both looked. I didn’t like thinking that I might not just be paranoid. I climbed onto Jamie’s bike and the guard nodded us through the gate. Jamie took me to my bike, where I jumped on and the two of us raced out of the garage. Jamie stopped at the sidewalk to let Caden on his bike, but I didn’t slow down. They would catch up. Another car pulled up to Caden and Jamie as I pulled onto the street, and I barely had time to register that it was Amber and Jeff. My heart wanted to let me sob at the friends I had, but I didn’t have time. I was way ahead of them. I’d trace every step of the way until I found him.
I rode slow enough to watch the people on the sidewalk, but there weren’t that many, and there was no sign of Gavin. There was a bus slowing to a stop at the bus stop before mine, so I pulled up to the sidewalk and got off my bike, walking over to the bus shelter to see if he was on that bus. The bus was nearly empty, though, and I didn’t see him. Jamie was pulling up behind my bike, and Jeff was just a little bit behind him.
“Anything?” Caden asked me as they both got off the bike.
I just shook my head and then dropped it between my slumped shoulders. What if we traced the path all the way to the marina and came up with nothing? What would I do if I never got answers? The thought of never seeing Gavin again was enough to make me want to scream. I couldn’t live a life never knowing what had happened.
I was heading back to my bike when the setting sun reflected off something on the ground near one of the benches. I looked closer. It was a flattened penny. I snatched it off the ground and held it up so I could see it. A sob escaped me when I saw the stingray. “Oh, fuck. Fuck!” All four of them immediately surrounded me.
“What is that?” Caden asked, squinting at it.
“That’s from the aquarium,” Jamie put in, “Did you guys get one when you were there?”
“Yeah,” I said, my voice shaking with the effort it took not to cry, “I gave it to Gavin. He liked the stingrays. I told him to keep it as his lucky penny. He said he’d always carry it. He had it in his pocket every day this whole time. He wouldn’t have just lost it.” I stared at it, turning it in my hand. Then I looked up at them. “That means he pulled it out of his pocket and dropped it. He left it for me to find.” I knew it with certainty. “He didn’t leave me. He didn’t. He wanted me to know that. Someone took him. He put it there on purpose.” My words ended on a sob. I understood, just like I knew he wanted me to. Even if he went with them willingly to protect me, he wanted me to know he hadn’t just left me. He wanted me to know he didn’t mean to leave me alone and wondering, because I’d begged him not to.
“Fuck!” Caden cried, “I’m really sick of this shit.” He pulled out his phone.
“What are you doing?” I asked him. I knew Gavin wouldn't answer his phone.
He looked up at me. “We have an aspiring criminal investigator. And she would be happy to help us.”