CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
4:00 p.m.
Emmy
Emmy fished Max’s clothes from the dryer and took them upstairs before she helped him out of the tub. She waited for him to dry himself, then pull on his jeans and T-shirt before she said, “Let’s talk.”
Max stood with his back to her. His breath rose and fell. Water droplets dripped from his hair onto his shirt, and he nodded.
On the couch downstairs, Max leaned back against the cushions. “Max,” Emmy began, and huffed a defeated breath. “All I asked you for was a few weeks. For some time and understanding, and you couldn’t handle that. Now you’ve made an even bigger mess.”
Max closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Em.”
“I just want to undo the last twenty-four hours.” Her voice wobbled. “To go back to the way we were. I was so happy; we were so happy.”
“Me too.” His feeble laugh touched a nerve somewhere deep inside her, and she felt her resolve melt. “I love you, Emmy,” he whispered. “Most people go their whole lives and don’t find what we have. When I thought I was losing you, I lost it.”
Emmy leaned in and buried her head in his chest and inhaled his familiar scent, and the soft bubble bath that lingered on his skin. “I love you, and I want you to know that. I hate to see you hurt like this.” She took a shaky breath into the familiarity of the warm space under his arm. “But I’m not going to sit here and watch you get drunk and run around and do ... whatever you’ve been doing.”
Max was still, and Emmy weaved his fingers between hers. His hand was damp. “Listen.” She sighed. “I know you haven’t had it easy. Your mom has never been honest with you. You’ve had some shit happen to you that isn’t fair. But that’s not an excuse, Max. That wasn’t a reason to act out the way you did in high school, and it’s not a reason to act the way you are now.”
Max didn’t move.
“Are you awake?”
“Yes.” His voice was soft, but he opened his drowsy eyes.
“It’s your call. You can get it together, and we’ll figure out our lives, or I can walk away. It will kill me—” Her voice broke. “I will never love anyone the way I love you. Nobody will ever love me like you do. But I will not sit by and watch you self-destruct.”
“Emmy, you’re the only thing I want.” Max’s voice was like gravel.
Tears rolled down her cheeks. “Then don’t ruin it. I need you to be stronger. This can’t be the way you react when things get hard. I need you to find some direction. I want to figure life out together.”
Max’s tears spilled down his face. He pulled her close and kissed her softly, their lips salty. “My life would be wasted if I didn’t spend the rest of it with you,” he whispered.
Emmy nodded, her forehead to his. “We’re going to go home and talk to Kathryn. First thing tomorrow, you’re going to get help. You’re going to go for as long as it takes, and you’re going to get better.” She started to believe the words as she spoke them. For the first time in a week, a flicker of hope. “And I’m going to wait for you.”
Max nodded again, more tears falling down his face.
“I’ll wait forever, do you understand?”
Another nod, and a raspy, “Yes.”
“But before I met you, I planned to move to Washington alone.” She took a long, shaky breath. “And that hasn’t changed. I’m leaving on my birthday. And when you’re ready, you can join me. But not until you’re ready. Because once we’re together, I want it to be for life.”
She pulled him close, feeling his body tremble as he whispered, “I will, I promise.”
“I need to know you’re strong enough to handle whatever comes our way. Because there will be times when I’m going to need you to be strong when I’m not. I need to know you can handle it. Start by taking care of yourself. Start here.”
“I will,” he whispered.
“In the meantime, I need to learn to do things on my own so that I can do it by myself if I have to.”
“You won’t have to. I’ll be there. I want the happy ending.” He kissed her.
She wrapped her arms around him, and he clutched her to his chest. “Can we stay here for a little while?” he asked. “I’m so tired. I just want some time with you before we have to be apart.”
“Yeah, for a little while.”
Max drifted off in her arms. Emmy meant everything she’d said; she’d never love anyone the way she loved Max, and she had no doubt he loved her more than anything else in the world. She’d take him back into her life when he recovered; she’d be ready for him. A glimmer of hope existed for their future. She had to be prepared in case he failed. But in that moment, all she could do was hold his body to hers.