Chapter Seven
Ella
We’re back at our hotel and about to open Rhia’s door when the elevator pings down the corridor.
Zoe strides out wearing only a green bikini and a light sarong wrapped around her hips that does nothing to hide what’s beneath. Her wet, red hair drips down her shoulders. She’s clearly just come from the pool.
“You guys, this hotel rocks. You two really know how to pick the good ones,” she says as she approaches. “I thought you hit the jackpot with the place in Palermo, but this one is even better.”
Until this morning, we’d been exploring the Sicilian west coast, staying in a quirky hotel in Palermo filled with vintage Vespas and run by the friendliest couple we’d ever met. We only got in because of a last-minute cancelation. The stars really were aligning for this trip.
“I’m so glad you approve,” Rhia replies dryly. “This place is expensive enough.”
This hotel is five stories of red earth clinging to the edge of a cliff above the Mediterranean. Terraces spill out from every level with views that make your stomach flip. Even the pool hangs over the drop.
“We might have splurged, but we only live once. It’s just money,” I say.
“My thoughts exactly,” Zoe agrees. “And the pool is unreal. Part of it has a glass bottom. You can see all the way down to where the waves smash against the rocks. So cool.”
Rhia opens her door and we all drift inside. The interconnecting doors to my room and Zoe’s are already open, but instead of separating, we head straight for Rhia’s balcony and stare out at the endless blue stretching before us.
We always book separate rooms. Zoe needs her own space. With her unpredictable comings and goings, sharing with her would be chaos, especially if she decided to bring a guy back.
Rhia would be fun in theory, but she talks in her sleep and prefers being naked in bed. I’m no prude, but I prefer not getting an eyeful of my best friend’s private bits first thing in the morning.
She still tries to convince me of the health benefits every time she stays at my place when Lex is away. I remain unconvinced.
These days, though, the real reason for separate rooms is that Rhia and Lex have mastered the art of long-distance intimacy, and I have no interest in a front-row seat.
Before Lex, Rhia treated relationships like the plague. Variety was her thing. As soon as a guy wanted anything more than sex, she’d toss him to the curb.
But Lex changed everything. Those two were made for each other.
“The three of us are invited to dinner tomorrow night,” Rhia informs her sister.
“By whom?” Zoe asks, still staring at the view.
Rhia quickly fills her in on what happened that afternoon.
“Hell yes! That is exciting. I might seduce all three of them. I’ve never tried a foursome before.”
Rhia and I exchange a look. I’m fairly sure my mouth is hanging open.
“Zoe, you’re not the main attraction. Ella is,” Rhia says sternly. “And Gualtiero De Marco is off limits. Got it?”
“Oops. Sorry, El.” Zoe grins sheepishly. “I won’t encroach on your territory.”
“Encroach all you want,” I tell her. “You’d save me from making a complete fool of myself.”
“Oh El, you innocent little thing. You need to push your comfort zone,” Zoe says.
My eyes widen. I cannot believe she just said that.
Rhia winks at me triumphantly.
“Not you too,” I mutter.
“Yep. Me too,” Zoe smirks. “You haven’t been with anyone since Marco, right? That was years ago. How do you survive without sex?”
“For goodness’ sake,” I groan. “It’s not all about getting your rocks off. I need an emotional connection.”
“Sounds like you already have one with that guy. Just do it,” Zoe says, sounding exactly like her sister.
“Butt out. I’m not hopping into bed with a stranger.”
“He wouldn’t be a stranger for long,” Zoe giggles.
It probably sounds old-fashioned, but letting someone inside my body is sacred to me. Not something I take lightly.
“Your sex life is boring as hell,” Zoe declares.
“What sex life?” Rhia asks.
“Hey, I thought you were on my side now that you know the difference between sex and making love.”
“I am on your side,” Rhia says. “Which is exactly why I want you to loosen up a little before you meet your forever man. I’m not a fan of your nun-like existence.”
I ignore her.
“What have you got to show for all that restraint?” Zoe asks.
Are those two ganging up on me? It’s nice that they’re finally bonding over something, but why at my expense?
“Two two-year relationships that ended when your boyfriends chose promotions abroad over you,” Rhia answers for me.
Ouch. I hate thinking about Donald and Marco and how things ended. It’s made me wary of starting anything new, terrified history might repeat itself.
“I’ve been on dates since,” I argue. Disastrous ones, but still.
“You interrogated those poor men about their five-year plans and whether they wanted kids,” Rhia says. “It sounded more like a job interview than a date.”
She’s not wrong.
“I wanted to know right then and there and not waste weeks finding out later,” I justify. “There was no chemistry anyway. It wasn’t a big loss.”
None of them evoked even an ounce of the emotions Gualtiero pulled out of me in mere seconds.
Gualtiero.
His hazel-brown eyes haunt me, their intensity sparking a reaction I don’t know how to name.
What if Rhia is right and there is something special going on between us? Would I regret not exploring it?
And what if things turned out okay? They did for Rhia and Lex.
Could I live in Sicily? I’d have to learn Italian.
Crap, what am I thinking? I’m as nuts as Rhia.
“Earth to Ella.” Rhia taps me on the shoulder before slinging an arm around me. “You’ve got this faraway look. You’re thinking about Gualtiero, aren’t you?”
I shrug. What’s the point of denying it? Rhia knows me too well.
“Yeah. It’s hard to get him out of my head.”
I turn to see Zoe stretched out on the sofa inside, flipping through the channels. I must have zoned out longer than I realized.
“Honestly, El,” Rhia says. “Give it a go. What do you have to lose?”
Everything.
If I let him into my heart, I could lose everything.
“I won’t do casual, Rhi. That’s a heartbreak waiting to happen, and I’m done with those. All I want is my forever love. My biological clock is ticking.”
“You’re only twenty-six. You have plenty of time.”
“Not really. You know my life plan has me married with kids before I turn thirty. And I want to spend a few years with my man before having babies. So I need to find him soon.”
Where do I even find Mr. Right?
Gualtiero’s image flashes through my mind again.
No. No. No. Go away.
I need to find my forever love at home. That’s where my life is. That’s where I belong.
Sometimes I wish things had turned out with either Donald or Marco. I could have had two kids by now. But Don was always married to his job, and Marco… well, there are certain things I won’t tolerate, especially cheating.
In the beginning, it stung to be single again, but neither breakup felt like a devastating loss after a few weeks. My ego was more bruised than my heart.
I’m still waiting to fall madly, deeply in love.
In both relationships, love crept up slowly. I grew into it, felt content while it lasted, and when it ended, I surprised myself by being okay. There were no nights spent crying over bottles of wine or binge-eating ice cream. Life simply went on.
Have I felt lonely since? Yes.
Have I missed sex? Absolutely.
But it still isn’t enough for me to jump into bed with random men.
“Don’t worry, Rhi. I’ll go to dinner tomorrow night and try out the whole Opposite Ella thing,” I say lightly.
“Minus the jumping into bed with Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome. My battery-operated boyfriends get the job done just fine. They’re reliable, drama-free, and they don’t want their balls sucked, which is a bonus. ”
“I love sucking Lex’s balls,” Rhia says dreamily. “They’re so sensitive and—”
“Let me stop you right there,” I interrupt, holding up my hand. “I don’t need that image burned into my brain.”
“This two-year sexual hiatus of yours has to end,” Zoe shouts from inside.
Perfect. Why not announce my lack of a love life to the entire hotel?
“Well, let’s hope Gualtiero sweeps you off your feet and makes you fall hard for him,” Rhia says, winking.
Fear tightens in my chest. As ridiculous as it sounds, it might have already happened.
And I’m not sure my heart can afford this.