Chapter 17
Cold shoulder
Amo
Ithink I understand the real reason why the post is off limits.
For the last three fucking days, both of my lovely partners—fellow Guard members, not romantic—have been basically passed out. Incoherent. Nibbling on each other when I gave the chain too much slack.
But have they been able to say a single fucking word?
No.
Which means I’m fucking losing my mind when Wilson stirs again, his sleepy brown eyes cracking open and searching the room like he’s prepared for the worst. They flash with confusion when nothing is amiss except me being here, and his brow pulled low.
“Hey, there, princess. Welcome back.”
It’s loaded with all the sass that I’ve stored up for the last three days and dripping with sarcasm.
He smiles at me anyway and my heart does a little patter thing that I fucking ignore for the rumble of my stomach.
I ate the remaining ration last night when I took their chains off, convinced that they’d be coming back from the frenzy soon.
The sun’s already come up on another day.
“Hey, baby,” he murmurs with a cracked voice, and licks his dried lips.
They both look like shit. Worn out and used—which they are, but that’s beside the point.
“Don’t hey, baby, me now, you fucker.” His brows shoot up to his sweat-slicked hairline and his grip tightens on the twitching arm slung over his middle.
“Was it that bad?”
He asks it so innocently that I almost break the hardass character I settled on when I saw him moving around.
Instead, I hop up from the chair next to the bed where they lay intertwined because some messed up part of me couldn’t fathom leaving them to go through this on the hard floor, and I shove a hand in my frizzed curls.
“Yes,” I hiss, “it was that bad, Wilson. Why the fuck did no one tell me I was getting fucked by infected dick?”
“Watch your fucking mouth.”
I roll my eyes at Moros’s sudden bark and crouch next to where he seethes. “You see it?” I point to my dropped-open lips. “It’s saying: you’re both bastards for not telling me.”
The growl that echoes from thinned lips is such a contrast to the soft sigh next to him, that my heart twinges.
My eyes burn.
“You could have told me,” I murmur, the words so much softer than I intended.
Moros clears his throat and pushes off Wilson to sit up, his gaze avoiding mine. “Assumed you knew,” he mutters and reaches for the nearest thing to cover his naked cock.
Wilson pushes up next with a wince, sitting more gingerly than his partner. He doesn’t seem to care about his state of undress, even as I watch his cock drag across his thigh and settle on top of his sac between his legs.
The cock that was inside me. That I sucked.
My stomach twists all over again.
What if they’d turned?
Shaking my head, my jaw ticking from gritting my teeth.
“How are you not, Amo?”
I blink hard at Wilson. “Not what?”
His gaze flips to Moros’s back before settling on mine. “You’re not supposed to be Guard if you aren’t.”
“What? No. No, that’s not a thing.”
My mind flashes to the other recruits, the ones I don’t know. I’ve seen them around, right? With the rest of the public, even during a lock down for the impending storms. Right?
Cassia …
“No fucking way,” I spit out and resume my pacing. “She would have told me.”
The arch of Moros’s brow feels almost lethal when it wings on me. “You were a fucking mistake. Get your shit.”
My chest pumps harder when Wilson’s lips thin, his soft gaze regarding me in a way that makes my insides hurt real bad.
“All you had to do was tell me,” I whisper and curse the errant tear that escapes down my cheek.
“I told you,” he snaps and jumps to his feet. “None of this means anything.”
“I fucking hate you,” I mutter back, unable to stop the way my breath hitches as he shoves shit into one of the duffels we brought with us.
Warmth squeezes my shoulder as he disappears down the chain, the thud of his steps like a shot straight to my heart.
“I’m sorry, baby. I thought you knew.” I shrug out of the hold, but Wilson grabs me just hard enough to spin me back around, his warm gaze crashing to mine.
Except this time, I see the remorse shining back in his brown irises.
The regret. The sorrow. “It’s been a decade for me, and I guess I just …
” He trails off, his thumb brushing over my cheek in a way that makes it heat.
“I got numb to it. That’s no excuse, but it’s the truth. ”
Dragging in a deep breath, I lean into him. I can’t help myself. He’s like a magnet and I am helpless to his touch.
“I just wish I’d known. I could have prepared better.”
His brows pinch and his eyes flash like he’s remembering something else. “Are you …” He swallows hard. “Did we hurt you at all?”
I shake my head, then tip it back and forth. “My ass hurts a little.”
The laugh that bursts past his lips feels like fresh air and sunshine. “Yeah. That’s normal, baby.” He clears his throat, but his smile sticks and it has my own teasing the corner of my lips. “You warming me felt amazing.”
“You remember that?”
He nods, the rough pad of his thumb swiping beneath my eye. “I remember all of it, Amo. You’re so good. That tongue’s so talented. That hole’s so sweet.”
The collision of crassness and compliment makes my insides flip all around and my face heats in his hold. He must feel it because his grin grows.
“Kitten!” I stiffen at the yell and roll my eyes. “Lick his wounds later and let’s go.”
Sighing, I go to pull away from Wilson, but he tightens his hold of my face. For a moment, his eyes flick between mine like he’s looking for something. Like he needs something from me.
“You’ll come back, right?” My chest clenches painfully. “Please tell me I didn’t scare you off?”
I purse my lips to hide the way the bottom one wants to wobble.
I shouldn’t come back. They both lied, or omitted, very important shit from me, and if they’re right then I’m not even supposed to be out here.
But why did infection never come up before in my training?
I don’t remember that being any part of the process I went through to get here.
Did Cassia not know before she signed us up?
I clear my throat and squeeze Wilson’s wrists.
“If they’ll let me, I will.”
And it’s true. Because I believe Wilson when he says that he didn’t realize he needed to say something, even more when our first meeting was him shooting at us. He didn’t know me. It’s not his fault that he’s so far removed from our community that he had no idea.
Moros is a different story.
But the feelings that Wilson brings out in me … I need to see him again.
“I will,” I reiterate to him and his grin spreads.
“I’ll be counting the days, baby.”
His lips crash to mine, making me sigh.
Yeah, those feelings he brings out? There’s no way I can ignore them.