Chapter 21
Can you feel it?
Moros
Stay cool. Stay fucking calm.
Repeating the mantra over and over in the back of my mind does nothing but piss me off.
I’m nervous.
I don’t get nervous.
But as Wilson regards me with a raised brow from behind a sun-cast Amo as he slings the duffle over his slender shoulder, I can’t stop the way my gut churns.
“This is a stupid idea.”
Amo’s cheeks flush, but he rolls his eyes.
I think he’s finally getting used to me.
Or maybe I’m just not as hard on him as I was.
“This was your idea,” he snaps back.
I grunt.
“You started it,” I mutter, which makes him grin and Wilson chuckle. “Let’s fucking go.”
Amo’s lips stretch wider, his bottom one toting a pretty big split, as he tightens the straps over his shoulder. “I can’t believe I’m about to have two boyfriends.”
“What? No. Don’t lump me into this shit. Wilson’s your boyfriend.”
Boyfriends … does he think we’re all twelve?
Wilson hums out a sigh because even though he doesn’t agree with me, he always understood me enough to not push me.
But then there was Amo.
And I kind of really like him.
Shit.
“Just—fucking … go.”
He’s laughing even as I push him out the door behind Wilson and barricade it.
They’re already holding hands by the time I turn back around, walking in tandem. Footsteps matched in stride. Their arms swinging and all.
I roll my eyes and ignore the way my stomach clenches at the sight as I settle on a slow pace behind them. “You two are perfect for each other. Sappy as fuck.”
The middle finger I get from Wilson is expected, but the furrow of Amo’s brow thrown over his shoulder is not.
“You really are dumb, aren’t you?”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I huff.
“No, I mean it. You’re dumb as shit if you think we’re gonna walk in there, claim our relationship out loud, and not include you in that.”
Well, fuck.
When he says it like that, it makes that thing beating in my chest pump faster.
And that is why I’m nervous.
“I don’t do relationships, kitten.”
It’s … forbidden. Ingrained in my soul that me being with someone else is an absolute no, or else they’ll be taken away from me. The concept of forever is tainted and my history is it’s proof.
“Yeah, okay,” he drags out like he’s unconvinced, and swings the arm he’s got connected to Wilson as they walk.
It still kind of stings to see. To feel like I shouldn’t get to do what they’re doing.
It wouldn’t be fair to Amo if I did. Right?
But that means that I haven’t been fair to Wilson all this time either.
He was with me. Stayed with me, even when the frenzy took over me. Even when I broke his bones and used his body and still didn’t give him anything more than my presence.
He didn’t have to stay in the storm to save me, but he did.
My gut churns violently as I watch the back of his head bounce and bobble in admiration and contentment to whatever Amo is going on about.
Doesn’t that prove my point?
I choose to stay in the back. To not listen. Refuse to hold hands with them and never kiss—
“You okay, boss?”
I swallow hard, forcing my breathing to slow—when did it even get so fast?—and nod.
“Yeah,” I say and it’s raspy as fuck, embarrassing. “All good.”
The worry clouding Wilson’s gaze is so distracting that I run into Amo and make him yelp in surprise.
“Shit, sorry, kitten.”
He lets go of Wilson and turns into me, palms flattening over my pecs. They’re warm and I can’t deny that I kind of fucking like it.
“You don’t look okay. If you don’t wanna do this, you don’t have to.”
I stare into his wide hazel eyes. “That would make me a selfish fuck.”
Wilson’s snort is what makes me realize I said that out loud instead of in my head like I intended and my gut twists even more.
But looking down into Amo’s shiny gaze almost makes me forget that I’m not that guy. Like maybe I could be. For him?
For them?
“It’s okay to be selfish sometimes,” Amo says just above a whisper, though it feels like he yelled it, and Wilson steps closer. Grips my shoulder.
“Are you assholes sure about this? I mean…” It suddenly feels like there’s a rock lodged in my throat, but I push the words out past it as I glance between the two of them. “About me?”
Amo’s eyes water but his lips spread into a grin, and his cheeks go pink.
I like that look on him. Too much.
“Don’t be a dipshit,” he murmurs with an affectionate edge that’s hard to understand and pats my chest. It’s almost condescending and makes my insides feel all fuzzy and shit.
Gross.
“Fine,” I mutter and roll my eyes. They land on Wilson, who’s grinning and leaning towards Amo. Their lips smack with a kiss that both makes my stomach twinge and my cock pulse.
“When this is all over,” I start as Amo pulls away and they go back to a steady stroll with hand holding. “I’m watching you two fuck.”
“Okay!”