Chapter 19 Jinx #2
"You've always existed. Now the world knows it too."
She throws herself at me, and I catch her, hold her, let her cry.
Asher comes in with coffee, stops when he sees us.
"Good tears or bad tears?"
"Good tears." Lily pulls back, wipes her face, smiles through the wet. "The best tears. I have a name. I have parents. I'm a real person."
"You've always been a real person, kiddo." Asher sets down the coffee, joins our huddle on the floor. "Now you've got paperwork to prove it."
We sit there. Three people who had no right to find each other, holding on.
"So," Lily says finally, voice steadying. "What happens now?"
I look at Asher. He looks at me. We both look at Lily.
"Now we go home," I say.
"Home?"
"We're working on it." Asher grins. "But I'm thinking somewhere with a yard. For the dog."
"Biscuit."
"For Biscuit."
Lily's smile could light up the whole facility.
"Can we have a garden too? Like the one here? I want to grow tomatoes."
"We can have a garden." I stand, pull her up with me. "We can have whatever we want. That's the point."
"The point of what?"
"Of all of this." I look around the facility, at the children healing, the future taking shape. "The point of everything we did. So we could have whatever we want. So you could have whatever you want."
Lily considers this. Her face is serious, thoughtful.
"I want a dog named Biscuit," she says finally. "And a garden with tomatoes. And a room with yellow walls. And both of you, forever."
"Done." Asher ruffles her hair. "Anything else?"
"Can we get ice cream?"
I laugh. The sound surprises me, free and genuine.
"Yeah," I say. "We can get ice cream."
We leave the facility hand in hand. Lily between us, swinging our arms, chattering about flavors and toppings and whether dogs can eat ice cream.
Behind us, the children wave from the windows. Marcus raises a hand in salute. Elliot and Jace stand on the steps, Elliot's head resting on Jace's shoulder.
The farmhouse isn't the same one we left.
Jagger had it renovated while we were in Geneva. New windows, new roof, fresh paint. Something about saying thanks for Asher letting us crash here for so long.
The three of us stand in the driveway, staring at the building. White walls, green shutters, a porch that wraps around two sides. It looks like something from a postcard. Something families live in.
"It's big," Lily says, voice small.
"You'll grow into it." Asher squeezes her shoulder. "Besides, we need room for Biscuit."
"And the garden."
"And the garden."
She breaks away from us, runs up the porch steps, pushes through the front door. We hear her footsteps racing through the house, room to room, taking it all in.
Asher and I follow more slowly. Taking our time. Learning the space that's going to be ours all over again.
“He did good. I’m impressed.” Asher says as he looks around, the space hardly recognizable.
The living room is furnished simply. Couch, chairs, a fireplace that looks like it actually works. The kitchen is modern, stainless steel and granite. The perfect set up for cooking family dinners.
"You'll be in charge of this," I tell Asher.
"Obviously." He opens the fridge, finds it stocked. "Jagger thinks of everything."
Upstairs, Lily has claimed her room. It faces east, morning light streaming through windows that overlook the back field. The walls are white, waiting for paint.
"Can we make them yellow?" she asks.
"Whatever color you want."
She spins in the center of the empty room, arms spread wide, face tilted toward the ceiling. Laughing. Free.
I lean against the doorframe and watch her. This girl who was just a number three weeks ago, ready to slit a mans throat just because a psychopath told her to.
Asher's hand lands on my shoulder.
"You okay?"
"Yeah." I cover his hand with mine. "I'm okay."
"Liar."
"Maybe." I turn my head, meet his eyes. "I keep waiting for something to go wrong. For this to be taken away. For the other shoe to drop."
"Maybe it won't. Maybe this is the part where we get to be happy."
"That sounds like a fantasy."
"It is." He smiles, soft and knowing. "But I think we can handle it."
Lily bounces over, grabs both our hands, drags us into her empty room.
"We should get a rug," she says. "A big fluffy one. And a bookshelf for all my books. And a desk for homework, because Elliot says I have to go to school eventually, even though I already know how to read and do math and speak three languages."
"School is about more than knowing things," Asher says. "It's about making friends. Learning how to be around people your own age."
"I know how to be around people my own age. I spent six months in a cell with forty-six of them."
The words land heavy. A reminder that this child, this bright, laughing child, carries darkness we can only imagine.
"Different kind of being around," I say carefully. "The kind where no one's trying to hurt you. The kind where you're allowed to be a kid."
Lily considers this. Her face goes thoughtful, serious.
"I don't know how to be a kid," she says finally. "I know how to survive. How to obey. How to fight. But I don't know how to be... normal."
"Neither do we." Asher crouches down, and meets her eyes. "Being normal is for chumps anyway. We will figure out how to be us.”
"What if we get it wrong?"
"We will. Definitely. Many times." I take her hands. "But we'll keep trying. That's what matters. We'll make mistakes and learn from them and try again. That's what family does."
"Is that what family does?" She sounds uncertain, testing the word. "I've never had one before."
"Me neither. Not really. Not like this." I squeeze her hands. "But I want one. With you. With Asher and my brothers.”
She stares at me. Then she nods, decisive.
"Okay.” A pause. "But I still want a dog."
"You're getting a dog."
"And a rug."
"And a rug."
"And yellow walls."
"Lily." Asher laughs, the sound filling the empty room. "You're getting everything. We promise."
She smiles. It's the brightest thing I've ever seen.
"Okay," she says. "Then I think this is going to be a good home."
I look at Asher. At the room that's waiting to be filled. At the girl who's waiting to become a person.
"Yeah," I say. "I think so too."