19. Maggie
NINETEEN
MAGGIE
I groan every time I think of spilling my past to Duke. He’s the last person who needs to worry about what I’ve gone through in my life. He practically grew up in the wedding industry and I’m definitely now allergic to that.
It’s why helping Hope is so hard right now. I’m trying to be supportive as we go through all the samples and suggestions the wedding planner gave her, especially because I was feeling left out earlier. I’m surprised that anything can be ordered and organized within a month. I was always under the impression that a bride needed at least a year to get all the details right. I know I planned that to the day for what should’ve been my nuptials.
But I guess if the planned venue is open, it wouldn’t take too long to get everything else ready.
“How’s the scavenger hunt going?” Hope asks after grabbing us some drinks from our fridge. I’m going to miss her when she moves out of our little townhouse. It makes me think of Duke’s question. What will I do when she’s gone?
I’ll still see her around town and at work, but it won’t be the same as just the two of us taking on the world. Third wheel, here I come.
“It’s going pretty well. There have been some odd requests, but nothing too bad.”
“I was there for the karaoke part. Are you sure you don’t want to amend your statement?” She laughs and I roll my eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, we know I didn’t get the singing genes.”
“It sounds like you’ve been having fun with Duke, though,” Hope says slyly.
What am I supposed to say? I’ve sworn off men for the rest of eternity and somehow this one has started worming his way into my heart.
But is it because he might like me? Or because he’s just a nice guy who wants to win the prize money and sail away on a yacht or something like that?
“He's a nice guy. But that’s all it is.”
“Why can’t you open your eyes and see he might be more than that? I’ve known him for a while and even though he can be quirky, he’s got a good heart.”
I turn to face her directly, leaning back on the armrest of the couch to support my back, which is sore from all the boxes we moved at the card shop. I need to get going on some weight lifting or something if I’m sore from something as mild as that.
“And you know this because he’s come into the shop daily for a scoop of ice cream?”
Hope smiles and says, “I think you like him but you’re scared. You don’t tell anyone about your ice cream theory. And I haven’t heard you complain about him since you started the scavenger hunt.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. I’ve been busy with the shop and the wedding stuff.”
Hope raises an eyebrow. “What wedding stuff?”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “All right. So I haven’t been helping you that much, but I am tonight. That’s got to count for something.”
“Sure, I’ll give you that. But I want to know more about what’s going on with you and Duke.”
Shaking my head, I say, “Nothing. Absolutely nothing except that we both want to win the prize at the end of the hunt.”
“That’s it?” Hope says, giving me her disbelieving tone.
“What do you want me to say? He’s running a timeshare business, which was already a red flag for me?—”
“Not a red flag. More like a beige flag.”
“—and then I found out that he’s from the family who owns The Bridal Barn.”
Hope cringes. “Really? I thought you knew that.”
“Duke said he can’t understand why they named it that, but yes. He’s from a family that is all about weddings. I don’t do weddings.”
“Except mine,” Hope says, a strain in her voice. “You’ll be at my wedding, right?”
Sighing, I say, “Of course, Hope. I’m going to be there for you. I just might have hives by the end of it.”
“You can be such a drama queen.”
“Well, when life gives you lemons, you squeeze out all the juice, which inevitably ends up in a paper cut and stinging for days.” When she glares at me, I say, “Sorry, I meant that you make lemonade.”
“I refer to my statement above. You’ll be fine. Just because things didn’t work out between you and Zander?—”
“I’m not still holding onto that hope. I don’t want to live in the past, but I also don’t want to repeat it.”
Hope nods. “That’s understandable, but you’ve got to go on living. You get your mind set on things and then don’t give or compromise on any of it. Things change and you can’t just assume everything is going to be crappy from prior experiences.”
“Wouldn’t that make me a fool then?” I say, trying to figure out how to win this argument. Hope and I have gone back and forth about this topic for far too long. I just want to have a resounding, triumphant comeback to what she says, even though she speaks the truth.
“No. That just means you’re willing to give things a chance within reason. You didn’t do anything or say anything negative about Duke until you knew he was selling timeshares. What if you take away his job instead of adding it to his identity? The guy is fun, kind, and has a sense of humor.”
“But will that make a life?” I ask in a whisper.
“Zander was the ultimate tool. He wasn’t any of those things and he was controlled by your father. I love Uncle Sam, but it’s a good thing I don’t have to live with him or life would be like the waves of the sea during a hurricane.”
My dad had always been the fun uncle at family gatherings, but once we got home, everything was about the business. How we could make more money, when I was going to work for him, and how I could move up in the world.
Dating Zander had felt natural at the time, and when he proposed, I was so excited. I’d planned out the future, thinking about what we’d do together and what our family would look like a few years down the road.
It wasn’t until a week before the wedding that I found out he didn’t want kids at all, and that the whole relationship had been a way for Zander to get in with my dad and eventually take over the business. So basically, I was a means to an end.
“What are you thinking about for the reception?”
“Don’t try to change the subject, Mags. We need to hash this out.”
“Why is it always talking with you? Can’t you just let someone stew on their own about their life decisions?”
Hope laughs and says, “No, because then you never do anything about it. You let the emotions fester and then you explode.”
Rude, but true. I’ve worked on controlling the emotions I’d learned from the nurture part of my childhood, but there are still times that I’m not successful at it.
“What do you want to talk about, Hope? Is there something wrong with Jason? Does he have an incurable disease?”
Hope closes her eyes and looks like she’s ready to strangle me. “No. Jason is perfectly healthy and things are great, aside from his mother. I’m talking about you. You’re running and I think it’s a mistake.”
I stand up, not sure I want to hear more about this right now. I don’t want people judging my life, especially someone who was there for the fallout from my last relationship.
“I don’t need someone in my life to be happy. I’m already happy.”
“That’s great, Mags. I’m just saying, things are going to change once I get married. I don’t want you to spiral out because of that.”
“So you want me to just throw myself at the closest male and say, ‘Hey, let’s do life together?’” Anger burns my chest. Why can’t people just leave me be? I now understand what Duke was saying earlier about people not leaving him alone.
It’s okay to look past the single status and see that I do everything I can to be kind and supportive, doing what I can to help in my business and in the community, when I have time.
Hope must sense my mood, because she scoots closer and pulls me into a hug. “No. I’m not saying you have to settle for anything less than the best. But it’s hard to do that when you aren’t even trying to date or get out there and meet people.”
“If I wanted to meet people, I would’ve stayed back in Virginia. Being here in Willow Cove is awesome because I don’t have to worry about falling for anyone. Most of the people are just visiting, and the ones who live here already have their lives just the way they like them.” I take a breath and let it out. “Sorry, I mean, I need some time. And I’m actively working on the scavenger hunt, which means you shouldn’t be hounding me about dating, right?”
Hope rolls her bottom lip in to catch it between her teeth. “You’re right. Those were the terms. I need to let you be until the contest is done. Just don’t give up, Maggie Dean. Some guy will be lucky to have you by his side one day.”
I give her a small smile and my brain decides to steer itself to a mental picture of Duke. Maybe it’s because he’s the only guy I’ve been around who is even remotely dateable. Not that I’m thinking about dating him. Because I’m not.
“Let a girl heal first and then we can move onto the bigger stuff.”
Hope gives me a look that tells me she’s not ready to give up this conversation, but she knows she needs to for our relationship to continue.
“Will do. Now where should we start?”
She pulls out several color palettes and I have to breathe through the sucker punch that I feel in my gut with all we’ve talked about.
She’s getting married and things will never be the same. It’s something I’m going to have to accept. I’m just not sure how.