7. Talon
7
TALON
I sat in the armchair by the fire, watching the logs slowly turn from wood to ash. After I’d returned her to her chambers, I’d ordered the guards to board up her windows completely so she wouldn’t pull another idiotic stunt and get herself killed.
I couldn’t go back to sleep, not when I was wide awake like this.
You made me break my word. I wished there was a way for Khazmuda and me to be together, to have these conversations face-to-face, but he was too large to fit inside the castle walls. Sometimes I camped with him in the wilderness, but I did it sparingly because I didn’t want anyone to know that the king had stepped away from his throne.
You wouldn’t have killed her, Talon.
She was too valuable to end up dead, but I had to keep my word if I wanted to keep my self-respect. I didn’t expect her to run.
You bluffed.
I meant the threat when I made it, so it wasn’t a bluff. But I took a gamble and lost my hand.
Khazmuda’s powerful voice continued to boom in my mind, deep in tone and seeped in wisdom. You wouldn’t have killed her, Talon. But at least I gave you a reason to justify it.
The bottom of my chin was propped on my knuckles, my knees wide apart, a faint blue light filling the windows as sunrise made its initial crest over the horizon. Why did you ask me to spare her?
Because we need her.
I know that’s not the reason. I had been prepared to pull out my blade and slice her head clean from her shoulders there on the spot, but his request steadied my hand and my rage. He told me we needed her, that she was too valuable to squander, but it felt insincere. Tell me why.
Khazmuda answered my demand with silence.
I continued to wait, my eyes on the flames.
I like her.
You were in her presence for fifteen minutes.
And that’s all it takes to know someone’s heart.
My eyes flicked away from the fire, wanting to meet his gaze, but he wasn’t in the room. And what do you know about her heart?
It’s broken…like yours.
It took me a few days to process my rage.
She’d crawled out of the window and climbed halfway across this tower, balancing on a ledge that had to be no bigger than two inches across. Her little fingers held onto the nonexistent grooves for support.
It was no surprise she fell.
If Khazmuda hadn’t been hunting, she would be a bloody puddle of broken bones right now.
Fucking stupid.
I left my bedchambers and walked down the hallway until I found her door. Without knocking, I let myself inside, finding her on the couch in front of the fire. She didn’t even turn to look at me when I walked inside.
The angry spark had burned out.
I moved to the armchair, wearing nothing but my trousers, the heat from all the fireplaces keeping the castle too warm for my liking.
She continued to sit there, ignoring my existence.
I relaxed in the armchair and waited, knees wide apart, arms on the armrests. I studied her face, looking at her curved cheekbones, the reflection of the flames in her green eyes, her slender neck that was so small I could almost touch my fingers together when I grabbed her.
The longer I stared, the more I found things to examine. I noticed the fair color of her cheeks, the way they turned rosy from the heat of the fire. Her eyes were dull and lifeless, and it was a potent contrast to the fire that normally burned there. She was submissive and quiet, the way I preferred women to be, but I found myself disappointed by her tameness.
We sat there for at least an hour, and not once in that time frame did she give any indication that she noticed I was there. Her thoughts were elsewhere…or she just didn’t care. But then she suddenly broke the silence, eyes still on the fire. “Yes?”
An invisible barrier had formed between us after our last conversation. I couldn’t cross it. I couldn’t jump it. I couldn’t scale it. I was the one who had placed it there, but I still wouldn’t violate it. But there was something about the way her lips moved, the way her eyes lifted slightly, a subtle shift in her expression that reminded me of something I couldn’t recall. “I know your face.”
She stared at the fire for a few more seconds before she met my look.
With our eyes locked together, I could take in her expression head on, see the sparkle in her eyes, the intelligence in that confident gaze. Whether she was in rags working in the desert or snow-white in the cold, she was still stunning. It became more noticeable every time I saw her.
After a long stare, she looked away.
“But how do I know it…”
She either had the best poker face in the world, or I was dead wrong. Her eyes moved back to the fire as she silently dismissed what I said.
“I’ll tell you about the gift.”
A couple seconds passed before she looked at me again. “I’m not going to fuck you.”
I was mesmerized by her fight, but something about her defeat mesmerized me even further. “I’ll tell you freely.”
I saw a subtle change in her eyes, a small burst of surprise, a skepticism.
“I just ask that you consider giving me what I want.”
The skepticism grew further. “Why did you change your mind?”
I didn’t want to say. “It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.” Her voice dropped slightly, lowering to barely above a whisper. “Why?”
I held her gaze, not wanting to share my thoughts, not wanting to share any part of me at all.
Her eyes continued to pierce mine. “Answer me.”
“I’m giving you what you want.”
“I want to know why you’ve changed your mind so suddenly.”
My eyes flicked away, knowing she wouldn’t let this go. For a woman who had no authority, she seemed to wield her own power, a kind of influence that affected everything around her. “Because you deserve to be with someone of your choosing…and I hope that you choose me.”
She immediately turned away when she heard what I said, sucking in a deep breath as if my words had insulted her. Instead of looking at the fire, she looked at her hands in her lap, her emotions across her face for just a second or two. “You pity me.”
I shouldn’t care how she suffered. No one cared how I suffered. But there was an old part of me that was still alive…buried deep down…a candle that still had a little wick left to burn. “Choose me. I’ll show you how it’s supposed to feel.”
She continued to look at her hands in her lap.
“Let me make you feel good. Let me show you how it should be.”
“I don’t understand.” Her eyes lifted to the fire. “I’ve been raped and beaten… Why the fuck would you want me?” Her eyes were dry as they stared at the fire, but then I saw moisture start to coat the surface, building until she blinked and flicked it away.
I was relieved when she bottled her emotions and made them disappear. I didn’t want to deal with that or acknowledge it. But the silence hung in the air, and I felt obligated to say something. “That’s not what I see when I look at you.” I saw a woman who had decided to run even when I’d threatened to kill her. I saw a woman who had the potential to be exactly what I needed. She had power pulsing in her veins, and she had no idea…because I still hadn’t told her.
“Then what do you see?” she asked quietly.
I told her the truth. “A woman I want to fuck.”
She swallowed.
“I want to make you come. I want to make you cry out. I want to make you forget all the shit that happened to you because it’s over now.”
“It’s over now…until it happens again.”
“It’ll never happen again.”
She finally turned to look at me.
“I would never let that happen again.”
For the first time, she couldn’t handle my stare and looked away.
“You asked how I knew you gave your freedom to someone else?”
After a beat, she looked at me again.
“Because General Titan rode all the way here to get you back. I threatened to kill him if he asked again—because you’re mine.” The next man who would be buried between her legs was me. I’d wait as long as it took, wait until I finally got the answer I wanted, and then I would bury myself deep and come hard.
She did her best to hide her reaction to this news, but the hatred in her eyes was unmistakable. There was a slight flare to her nostrils. I believed she could kill him with just a small dagger if she were ever given the chance. Her rage was so potent it could outweigh his strength easily.
“Will you consider me?”
The rage slowly came to a simmer, a gentle bubble, a slow release of steam. Her eyes flicked away.
“Calista.”
She obeyed the command, her eyes finding mine again.
“Consider me.”
Her eyes shook like they wanted to flick away, uncomfortable with the hard stare but unable to break my command. Her brain worked behind her eyes, her mind searching for the answer she struggled to find. She eventually swallowed and took a breath. “I’ll consider you.”