CHAPTER 22
Reed
T he past four weeks have been the most confusing of my entire life.
My thirty-sixth birthday was a week ago, and they surprised me with cupcakes at the youth center. Lila put a birthday hat on Ginny, which almost made me do something extremely stupid.
Like kiss her.
As if I hadn’t crossed that line already, even though it was just a peck. Not even that, technically.
Still, I’ve made a point to redraw the line between us in the past month and keep things strictly professional. Yet I can’t bring myself to erect a wall.
Being close to Lila is like seeking happiness—you revel in it, let it seep into your skin, and when you’ve had too much of it, you start wondering if the rope is about to snap.
The sound of a little yawn brings me back to the present moment. I snap my head up in time to see Ginny stretching in her bed inside the playpen before curling back into a sleeping position. She’s gotten slightly bigger in the past month, but the vet doesn’t think she’ll grow much more.
My office chair groans under my weight as I stand to check on her for the millionth time this afternoon. But the puppy is fine; her tail has fully healed, and I haven’t hurt her yet.
But I will .
I grab the file on my desk, sneaking one last glance at Ginny before venturing down the hall to drop it at Haniyah’s office. She isn’t there, so I leave the file on her desk and make my way to the common room. I’m scanning the room for Han when I feel a small tug on my slacks. “Reed.”
“Hey, Ike.” I give him an easy smile. “Anything you need?”
“I think Lili is sick.”
Lili . That’s what he calls Lila.
I frantically search the common room until I spot her. She’s at one of the tables with Melody and Vera. Even from a distance, I can see the dark circles under her eyes.
“Thanks for telling me, Ike. Do you need anything?”
He shakes his head with vigor. “No, just wanted to tell you about Lili.”
“I’m going to check on her, but do you want me to walk you somewhere first?”
“I was playing with Jordan over there.” He points to his friend sitting on the floor a few feet away, construction blocks splayed all around him. “I’m going with him again. You promise to take care of Lili?”
“Always,” I tell him firmly, hoping he can tell the honesty in my voice. “Don’t worry about it.”
He finally nods, convinced, before going back to his friend and their building bricks.
No other kids stop me as I make my way to Lila’s table. The two girls on both of her sides are making beaded bracelets and chatting to each other, but she looks out of it. With her gaze lost somewhere on the table and her arms crossed over her chest, she doesn’t notice me nearing her until Melody asks, “Hey, Reed. Do you want a bracelet with our names?”
I give Cameron’s sister an easy smile. “Sure.”
“What colors?”
My eyes roam the table, where a vast array of colorful beads are sorted in different plastic containers. “I like red.”
“You can do that one, Vera,” Melody offers before turning back to me. “Would you like a blue one too? With a smiley face charm.”
“Oh, oh!” Vera chimes in, her big brown eyes pleading. “Do you like stars, Reed? Can I put stars in mine, pretty please? The golden ones.”
My mouth tilts at their enthusiasm. “I love smiley faces and stars. Thanks, girls.” When they go back to their bracelets, I turn to Lila. “Everything all right? Ike told me you were sick.”
“I’m not sick,” she tells me, craning her neck to look up at me. She looks taken aback, probably because I’ve made a point not to talk to her about anything other than her internship in the past month. An attempt at regaining that sense of normalcy between us. She clears her throat. “Just feeling a little tired.”
“You still aren’t sleeping well?”
“You could say that,” she mumbles, directing her attention back to the table. “Thanks for checking on me, though.”
A clear dismissal that won’t do it for me, not when she looks like that. Beautiful, because Lila is beautiful, but her usual spark is gone. And I won’t have it.
“I’ll be right back.”
I head to the vending machine at the front and grab a bag of chips. Not the most nutritious snack out there, but I’ve seen her have these a couple times, and right now, I only want her to eat so she feels better.
The girls are still working on their bracelets when I come back, and Lila doesn’t look at me until my shadow towers over her.
“Here.” I place the crinkly bag in front of her and look everywhere but at her eyes.
Yet I don’t need to be looking at her to notice the breathiness in her voice. “What…? Oh.” A pause. “You didn’t have to, but thank you. I’m actually kind of hungry.”
“Aww.” Melody rests her chin on her hand as she glances between us. “That’s sweet that you got her a snack. She will never admit it, but she’s acting kinda grouchy today.”
“I’m not grouchy,” Lila retorts as she opens the bag and plops a chip into her mouth.
I follow the movement and zero in on her lips like a sick bastard.
Melody rolls her eyes at me. “Told you.”
“I’m not grouchy ,” she repeats, not sounding the least bit convincing. “I’m acting normal.”
“You normally smile a lot and tease me about being glued to my phone all day. You haven’t mentioned it once today. So, yes, you’re grouchy. But it’s okay—we love you anyway.”
Vera nods and hums, her eyes not leaving the red bracelet she’s making for me.
Something akin to warmth spreads through my chest at the notion that Lila is so popular among the kids. Some volunteers and interns never fully fit in with them, but she seems to have them all wrapped around her finger.
“And I love you guys,” she says in a soft, emotional voice. “But don’t make me cry, okay? I already feel sensitive enough as it is.”
A silent alarm goes off in my head. “Why? Did someone say something to you?”
I can’t read the expression on her face. “It’s fine.”
It’s fine—not I’m fine.
“I can tell it’s not just tiredness. What’s wrong?”
“Noth—”
“She’s been looking at her phone all afternoon,” Melody chips in. “And every time she does, she gets even grouchier.”
“Melody!” Lila flushes.
Is her ex bothering her again? Maybe they got back together?
Her love life is none of my business.
“He looks worried, Li. I’m just trying to help,” the girl says.
“I appreciate it, but it’s fine. Really. Everything’s fine,” she insists before finishing up her chips. It was a small bag; I should probably get her another one. “It’s just…stuff.”
Stuff.
“Let’s talk in my office,” I suggest.
Melody groans. “But we want the gossip.”
“There’s no gossip,” I tell the girls. “I need to talk to Lila about her internship.”
“Boring.”
Lila sticks her tongue out at Melody. “I’ll be right back.”
We’re silent as we make our way to my office. Ginny wakes up with the sound of the door opening and wags her tail excitedly as Lila crouches to pick her up.
“Are you being a good puppy for Reed, little bean?” she asks her in a baby voice I shouldn’t find so fucking adorable.
Ginny’s only response is to lick her face, so I answer for her. “She loves it here, surrounded by the kids.”
That much is true. I can’t go one afternoon working in my office without at least a dozen kids knocking at my door, asking to see her.
Since she sleeps the day away, I’ve taken her to some of my sessions with Cameron, too, which posed an interesting situation. I had never seen him speak as gently as he does with Ginny, and he loves the fact that we gave her the name he suggested. He’s careful when he pets her and always asks for permission before picking her up. The boxing lessons he’s been to with Warren and Liam must be paying off, because I haven’t seen him look so relaxed in a long time. Scratch that— ever .
Lila places Ginny back in the playpen, and she goes directly on full attack mode to her favorite toy, a plushie sheep, courtesy of Han.
I don’t beat around the bush. “What is it on your phone that is making you so anxious? Is it your thesis? Are you sure you don’t want me to look at it?”
She’s been on edge for a couple weeks now, tying all loose ends before she has to turn in her thesis. I offered to give her one last round of feedback, but she refused right away. I’m not allowed to read it until she’s defended it, apparently.
She shakes her head, avoiding my gaze, which only makes me more curious.
“Lila,” I start, “I know we haven’t talked much in the past few weeks, but if someone or something is bothering you—”
“I’m seeing my ex today,” she blurts out.
My breathing stops, followed by my pounding heart.
I’m careful to school my features and keep my voice unbothered as I ask, “Why?”
The guilt in her eyes feels like a punch to the gut.
“He’s been texting me nonstop for the past month, saying we need to talk, and I just can’t ignore him anymore.” With each word, she buries me deeper. “I don’t want to get back with him, but I feel like… I don’t know. Like I owe him some of my time for what I did.”
“You don’t.”
If she notices my harsh tone, she doesn’t comment on it.
“I know I don’t, but this will be like closure to me too. I think.” She lets out a shaky breath. “He didn’t forgive me when I apologized for the tire, and I still feel bad about it. Maybe he will now. Maybe that’s what he wants to talk about.”
“It’s not. He’ll try to get back with you,” I say, like it’s any of my business.
“He won’t.” She sounds confident about it. “I made it clear in my texts. He has ten minutes for whatever he wants to tell me. After that, I’m out.”
I cross my arms in front of my chest, the organ inside it beating in an uncomfortable, rapid rhythm. “I still think it’s not a good idea.”
“I don’t remember asking for your opinion, Dr. Abner.”
Dr. Abner.
So that’s how she wants to go about this. Very well.
“Watch your tone around me, Miss Callaghan,” I warn her, my voice dripping with authority but not anger. “I’m still your supervisor for another two weeks.”
She arches an eyebrow like she wants to ask, So, that’s why you almost threw me on top of your desk and devoured me?
“I might need a refresher,” she muses. The fire in her voice makes my cock stir to life. “I don’t remember ‘giving unsolicited opinions about a student’s love life’ being part of your tasks as my supervisor, but maybe I’m wrong.”
“Indeed, you are wrong. It was in the first section of our internship agreement.”
“Right. My bad,” she mutters, her lips tilting upward. “If you don’t need anything else, Dr. Abner , I’d like to go back with the girls.”
The green monster inside of me rattles its cage, demanding to be released so it can make her stay with me. But she’s right—she didn’t ask for my opinion, and I don’t have the right to give it to her.
No matter if it kills me inside that she’s going to talk to her ex and potentially get back together with him because…
Fuck.
Because I’m falling for her. For her mind, her heart, her laugh, her touch—all of her.
And it will only end in heartbreak.